The Turning-Blood Ties 1 (28 page)

The butler didn’t look at me as he slammed a block of ice on the countertop. He no longer watched me from the corner of his eye, but there remained a sliver of unease between us, most likely because I was still a vampire. But he’d continued to relay messages to Nathan when possible, and he’d dropped the stuffy butler act and refrained from calling me ma’am every second word.

“What the hell are you doing, boy?” he barked.

Ziggy grinned sheepishly and tossed a can of soda over his shoulder. The older man caught it in his nimble fingers and popped the top. “This shit will rot the teeth right out of your dumb head.”

“I ain’t gonna live that long,” Ziggy replied as he drew a thick Z on another can. My stomach lurched. I’d never believed all those stories from med school about patients who knew they were going to die and freely dispensed the information to everyone, but I didn’t want to hear Ziggy make such predictions.

“Don’t talk like that,” I snapped. I tested the blood tie to see if Cyrus was listening in. All I felt was a vague, alcoholic haze before the tie seemed to evaporate between us. The fact that he could so easily ignore our connection created a sick, lonely feeling in my stomach. But if he closed himself off, I at least had some time to talk about the impending event without the risk of him knowing my thoughts. “Since Cyrus won’t be back for a few hours, tell me what’s going on with this party.”

Clarence groaned and rolled his eyes. “Same as every year. A few human sacrifices and a whole lotta pain. That’s sorta his thing.”

“Human sacrifices? You mean the kids on the list?” I hoped he did. Nodding grimly, he wiped his hands on his apron. “Them, and a few others he’ll lure in from out of town. Can’t get them all from around here or it’ll look suspicious.”

I shook my head. I wish Nathan would get his ass back here. Every night, I’d faithfully checked for Nathan at the gate under the guise of walking the perimeter of the lawn. If I were still human, I would have considered the long distance as good cardio exercise. Now my only concern about my heart was whether someone would suddenly give it the Big Splinter. But Nathan hadn’t returned, and as the time of the New Year drew nearer and nearer, my nerves were pulled tighter and tighter.

“Don’t you worry about our boy,” Clarence drawled lazily. “He got himself in good with the Master. He ain’t on the menu.”

He pushed a sheet of paper across the island and I snatched it up. It was a list of names. Nearly every one of Cyrus’s pets were on it, except two. “Ziggy and Dahlia are going to be spared?”

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“Guess it’s not so bad hangin’ with the boss after all,” Ziggy said as he slipped a brick of cheese into the pocket of his baggy black jeans.

I relished the thought of Dahlia being selected for the Soul Eater’s consumption. But I guess she wasn’t much of a “pure soul.”

Two guards entered and I stepped away from Ziggy. “Excuse us, Doctor,” one of the thugs said curtly. He turned to Ziggy. “The Master would like to see you.”

“Duty calls,” he said with an apologetic smile. “Hey, we gotta stop by my room on the way ’cause I’ve got a book C wants to borrow,” he told the guards as they led him away. C? I pulled one of the stools from the island and plopped myself down. Clarence had gone quietly to work on the block of ice with a chisel and hammer, but he chuckled at my spite. “You still gonna help rescue him, even though he stole your man?”

“He did not steal my man.” I made an appalled face, hoping it would fool the old man. But I knew it wouldn’t. “I just don’t understand why Ziggy would have such an interest, after what Cyrus did to him.”

“The Master is a good one for winning somebody back after he’s wronged them. Look at you. He wrecked your life, and you still came back to him.” He turned the ice and started chipping away on the other side.

“That’s different. There’s a blood tie. You wouldn’t understand because you’re not a vampire. But it really makes a difference.”

Clarence bobbed his head up and down in agreement. “You’re right, I don’t know about blood ties. But I do know you wouldn’t be here if you didn’t want to be. You’re not that type. If you’ve got to tell yourself it’s some magical thing keeping you at his side through all his bullshit, I’m not the one to argue with you.”

His words cut me to the core. He was right. Yes, there was a blood tie, but that wasn’t why I was here. Sure I’d made a promise to return to Cyrus in exchange for Nathan’s life, but why hadn’t I called the Movement, or even asked Ziggy for help? I’d been Persephone, eating the pomegranate seeds with delight and blaming it all on big, bad Hades. I knew what I was doing when I’d committed myself to this Underworld. I’d resigned myself to accept my plight, and now I wanted to explore the life Cyrus had offered me, but I feared his interest in Ziggy might do something to usurp my place. It sucks when your little palace o’denial comes tumbling down.

The next night, Nathan waited at the gate.

“How’s Ziggy?” he asked as soon as I was near enough to hear him.

“He’s fine. Hello to you, too.” I stamped my feet, trying to get some feeling back in them. It had snowed during the day, and the depth of the stuff almost kept me inside. Nathan’s hands were nearly blue where his gloveless fingers gripped the iron of the gate.

“Is he on the list?”

“No.” I thought relief would register on his face.

Instead, it twisted with horror. “Tell me he’s not—”

“A guest of honor. I just don’t know which one.” I looked at my feet. “I know how you were turned.”

A muscle in his shadowed jaw twitched. “He told you?”

“I saw it.” I don’t know why I felt the compulsion to tell him how, but I did. “I drank his blood…from him. And I saw it.”

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Nathan was repulsed, but I knew he was scared more than he was disgusted. Maybe he was afraid I wouldn’t help him. Or that I’d throw Ziggy to the wolves. He cleared his throat. “That’s all in the past. I just don’t want it to happen to Ziggy. Who’s the other one?”

“Dahlia.”

“Dahlia and Ziggy, and they need to pick the one with a pure soul? Oh, that’s going to be a tough call.” Nathan looked away, but not before I saw the suffering in his eyes. “Are the Fangs staying for the party?”

“They were supposed to leave a week ago. I think they’re hanging around so Cyrus will have to invite them to the party. What’s going to happen?”

“He’ll probably invite them to the party.”

I glared at him. “You know what I meant. When you and your little friends show up. What’s going to happen?”

“We’ll bust in, I’ll grab Ziggy, and they’ll kill all the vampires.”

His pointed gaze added including you.

My heart constricted painfully in my chest. Did he really hold such a grudge? I’d thought we’d built a friendship of sorts.

That was before you left.

I cleared my throat. “That sounds dangerous.”

“It will be.” Still, he offered no assurance of my safety.

“Would it be easier to just sneak him out before the party? I could go get him. We could just boost him over the fence right now.”

“That has crossed my mind,” Nathan replied bitterly. “But I’m not allowed to do anything that might compromise the integrity of the mission. Movement orders. They think Cyrus would step up security if the compound was breached this close to the event.”

“Compound? You make it sound like I’m in some weird religious cult.”

That at least brought a half smile to his mouth, but it died quickly. “I’ve been playing host to a couple of full-time Movement guys. The terminology starts to creep in after a while.”

“Is that why you haven’t been showing up?” I sounded jealous, like a spoiled child whose playmate has made friends with the neighbor kids. It just crept into my voice on its own. Nathan didn’t appreciate it. “I’m sorry, but you’re not a priority for me anymore.”

Anymore. That stung. Not because his feelings for me were gone, but that he’d confirmed he’d had some in the first place.

It was much easier to be angry with him than regretful over our lost friendship. “So you’re going to march in here on the night of the party and kill me, then?”

He shook his head. “Not me. I’m going to find Ziggy and get him out. But watch out for the other guys. We’ve been ordered to kill any non-Movement vampires on the premises.”

“You’re not going to tell them about me?” I hated the fear in my voice. “I took care of Ziggy, that has to be worth something.”

“It was worth the advance warning I gave you,” he snarled. “You put yourself on the losing team, Carrie. It’s a little late to back out now.”

“You know what, I didn’t come here because I wanted to!” I spat.

“What are you talking about?”

I hadn’t wanted to tell him, but there was no avoiding it now. Some deranged part of me demanded honesty, as brutal as it might sound. And really, if I stood a good chance of

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dying on Saturday, I didn’t have much to lose. “It was a trade, asshole. Your life for mine.”

He stepped back from the gate. I could see in his eyes that he didn’t want to believe me.

“No.”

I wasn’t going to soften the blow. “I couldn’t reverse Dahlia’s spell on my own. So I went to Cyrus for help. This is what he asked for in return.”

He ran a hand through his dark hair, mussing the strands. “I don’t believe you.”

“Fine, don’t believe me.” I was too tired to convince him of a truth I hadn’t wanted to reveal in the first place. “Ziggy will tell you. He drove me here to get the antidote. And he’ll tell you what I’ve done in here to keep him safe.”

Whatever I’d said to make him change his mind, Nathan clearly felt like the jackass I thought he was. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because it was something I had to do. I didn’t want you to die, and I didn’t want you to get killed barging in here as if I needed rescuing.” He looked so penitent, I couldn’t help but ease his guilt a little. “Besides, I wanted the chance to know my sire. There’s a reason he became the way he is.”

I thought of the scar his father had inflicted on him and the pain he’d felt. Yet Cyrus still wanted to please the Soul Eater. Could he have been a good person before his father had tempted him with the promises of wealth and power? Then again, he did kill his own brother in his sleep.

Nathan blew out a long breath as he scratched his head. There were things I wanted to say, but I didn’t know where to begin. Although I’d suffered abuse at Cyrus’s hands, I didn’t hate him. I certainly didn’t want him to die, and a part of me desperately wanted him to pursue me again.

Wow, it has been a lonely couple of weeks.

But despite what I felt for my sire, I didn’t want Nathan to leave without some sort of resolution between us. Perhaps what I’d dismissed as lust-at-first-sight had been a deeper connection than I’d been willing to admit. That terrified me more than the prospect of looming death.

Finally, Nathan spoke. “I’ve kind of been a jerk.”

“Kind of. But maybe I should have trusted you. I mean, if I had said, ‘I made this deal with Cyrus, now I’ve gotta go live with him,’ you’d respect that, right? You wouldn’t just come charging in to save me.”

He arched an eyebrow sardonically in answer.

“Which is exactly why I didn’t tell you.” With every passing second, I became more aware of how much I’d missed Nathan, and more afraid that I’d made a mistake in coming to live with Cyrus. There was no blood tie between Nathan and me to inspire my feelings for him. Did that mean they were stronger than what I felt for Cyrus?

As if in slow motion, Nathan reached through the gate, and I lifted my arm toward him. When our hands touched, a current leapt through me, different from any I’d felt from the bond I shared with Cyrus. There was no darkness in these feelings. Nathan’s thumb stroked the back of my hand as our fingers entwined, and we stared at each other for some time before he spoke.

“Carrie, do you want to leave?”

My head snapped up. “For real?”

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“For real.” He laughed softly. “I can get you out the same time I get Ziggy.”

I looked back at the house. The light in Cyrus’s room was on. “I want to go, but—”

“But the tie is holding you back.” Nathan gave my hand a squeeze. A tear fell from my eye and landed on the back of his hand, freezing almost instantly on his cold skin. Why was I crying? I wanted to escape this place, didn’t I? “I don’t know if I’m strong enough to walk away from him, Nathan.” I couldn’t meet his gaze. “When I’m not near him, I don’t miss him, but when I’m with him…I feel like he needs me. It probably doesn’t make sense to you, but I like to be needed.”

“It makes perfect sense. Why else would you have become a doctor?”

Nathan’s words brought back the memory of sitting beside Dr. Fuller in the cold, impersonal staff locker room. My mentor’s voice resounded like a requiem bell in my head.

“Why did you want to be a doctor?”

I’d thought I’d wanted power. Now I had that power and I didn’t want to use it. Was Nathan right? Had I become a doctor not out of some heartless quest for control, but from a desire to be indispensable and valued by complete strangers? Did I only feel complete when other people needed me?

The most annoying part of this revelation was that someone else had made it before I had. I must have been the most naive twenty-eight-year-old on the planet.

“Carrie, are you all right?”

I looked up at Nathan. “I want to leave.”

He cocked his head, uncertain. “You mean that?”

Leaving such sure things as shelter and regular meals should have struck me with fear, but it didn’t. When my parents died, I’d survived on my own. The only difference was this time I wanted to be an orphan.

“Yeah,” I answered finally. “You’d run like hell, too, if you saw the window treatments in there.”