The Truth Behind The Lies (15 page)

Bash had a blank CD, the kind that are all silver with a few words scribbled in permanent marker on them. Did he really have a bootleg CD? I don’t know. He put it in the CD slot. It was Kanye West
Say You Will
. What a peculiar song to play. We were quietly enjoying the music of Yeezus until a few miles into our ride.

Bash turned the music down.

“Nina.” Bash looked over at me as we pulled away from the tollbooth. “I don’t want to wear a condom with you.” His soft blue eyes casually went back to the open road.

I didn’t see that coming. “You don’t want to wear a condom.”

“No. I just can’t do it.”

What did this mean? “Why not?” I twisted in my seat until I was faced toward him.

“You know why?” His hand breached my side of the car and landed on my thigh. Even with a tan his hand was so pale against my brown skin.

“Why?”

“I want to feel you wet and raw. I need to savor you.” He glared over quickly, quick enough for me to stop breathing. “We should just get tested, blood tests.” He propositioned.

“You want to get tested, for STD’s?”

“Yeah, don’t you?”

“Yeah if you want to.” I shrugged. Tested, the man’s idea? Huh, first time for everything. I need to get back on the pill. I have to make an appointment to see my gynecologist.

“Okay it’s settled.”

“Okay.”

“There are labs everywhere. You don’t have to worry about it. I will set it up.”

“Okay. This makes me feel better about everything.” I did feel better. I’m so happy inside.

“I care about your feelings. We have to trust each other. I don’t want the things that happened to you in the past to interfere with what we have here.”

Oh Bash what do we have here? I was smiling on the inside. This man right here is perfection. And that big ass dick is a work of art.

***

The ride back to Downers Grove was peaceful. Bash dropped me home and gave me one of his intoxicating kisses. I made it home in enough time to change, fix my face and make it to work on time. I didn’t spot David lurking around my complex. Maybe he moved on. I sure hope so.

I’m so madly into Bash. It even sickens me. I can’t wait for him to be into me, inside me, all that. We hit a snag last night but the image of his dick is burned into my brain. I need to wrap my lips around it. It intrigues me. There is no way I can take all that beefcake in my mouth. I really want to try. I have never failed at anything I’ve ever tried. Deep throating Bash’s gigantic dick is on my bucket list. I think I can. I think I can. Shit. I know I can.

Bash called my cell only two hours into my workday. He set up an appointment for us both to be tested. We were going to the same lab my health insurance covers. The lab was only a few blocks from Prudential Life. There was also another one a few blocks from my condo.

There was a nervousness that came with the blood test. I knew I was STD free. That was a point of contention for me. It was the thought of what would happen after the test. I wanted him so much. He wanted me too. Knowing it was going to happen was a bit scary.

Sex changes things. Good sex changes things. There is no way he could be a good lay. No way possible. I would never be able to survive the fallout if his sex game was on point. Bash has my head in the clouds. I can’t imagine being without him and we’re not even a couple.

He makes my body come alive. I’m afraid he can turn me inside out. I’m afraid of falling. I’m not even the scary type.

My prayer is that he doesn’t break my fragile little heart. Somehow I just know he will. I’m thirty-eight, never been married, no kids. This part of my life just never works out.

Bash showed up to my office building at lunchtime to take me to the lab for our blood tests. I hadn’t had a blood test since I first started dating David. When I found out he cheated on me I went to the gynecologist after our breakup. I had a standard STD panel and I got swabbed for HIV but I didn’t go to the lab for a blood test. I wasn’t afraid I had anything but I appreciated that Bash was willing to do the blood work without any coercion or an attitude. My ex acted a damn fool when I asked him to get tested. That shit is mandatory if any man wants to sample my cupcakes out of the wrapper.

I’m too old to have an STD. At this point I can do without sex. I’m not one of those chicks that can’t live without dick. I’m done with booty calls. I’m tired of wasting my pussy on men who don’t appreciate it or me. If I could do it all again things would be so different. I would have not given it up to fifty percent of them raggedy bastards.

Knowing a relationship is going nowhere is so disappointing. I’ve had my fair share of disappointments. Then there’s Bash. Is he like this with all the women or am I special? I feel special. I feel like the only one. I want to be the only one.

Men are so complicated and you never can gage exactly where they are in the relationship. I want a relationship. I want Bash. He’s not out of my league. He’s just unique. I like unique. I’m going to play it cool but I will make him mine. Eventually. I’m going to go 50 Cent on his ass. I have the power. Get Bash or die tryin’.

BioTech Laboratories in Hillsdale took his blood first and then they took mine. We stopped and had lunch after our STD panels. We chatted but nothing too heavy. Things were a little different after we almost had sex last night. I felt kindred to him.

After lunch Bash drove me back to Prudential Life. I noticed he liked talking in the car. I liked listening to him, looking at him, smelling him. His voice was strong and manly. He was handsome. His scent was provocative.

Confidence rang in his every word. His voice made me feel safe. I’m not sure why I needed the confirmation that he was sexually safe. Once I got the results it would be time to fuck him. The results would surly say he was clear. That in no way meant my heart would be clear from future pain. He’s going to hurt me. That much I’m sure of. He will want a brand new shiny Porsche one day and I will be devastated. Or he will want to settle down with a German car instead of an African American one.

“Hey.” He said before I could get out of his car and head back to work. This time he was in a black Benz. I assumed it belonged to him. I didn’t ask. He seemed like the type of guy that would have more than one car. I hoped this one didn’t belong to his wife. I have met men that lie and say they’re divorced when they’re not. I don’t see that in Bash but you can never be too sure.

“What’s up?” I warmly smiled. He has the eyes of a god, the god of seduction.

“I need to see you tonight.”

“Okay.” I’m excited. That little blue balls hiccup didn’t knock us off track. “What do you want to do?” Somehow I knew we would have more than this brief time at the lab and in his car. We had grown accustomed to spending time together.

“Why haven’t you invited me inside your place?” He asked with his normal level of candor.

Good question. “I don’t know. Do you want to come over after work?”

“Yes I do.” He quickly answered.

“I could cook dinner and I don’t know, we could watch a movie.”

“No you don’t have to cook. You worked today. I can pick up something for us and bring it over.”

Really? Oh Bash you’re a doll, a Ken doll, a Ken doll that’s anatomically correct, no a Ken doll that’s well endowed. I saw it with my own eyes. Maybe he’s an Incredible Hulk doll minus the green skin and the shredded short pants.

“You think I can’t cook.” I joked.

“No, I don’t think that at all. I think you can do anything you put your mind to.” He radiated sincerity.

Swoon. Why does he always say the right words? Why does he smell so good? Why are his lips so incredibly soft?

“I’m just saying it wouldn’t be a problem. If you wanted me to make you something.” I actually want to cook for this man. Shit, I need professional help. I don’t want to cook for no man.

Bash’s top lip curled. I had a longing to bite it, just a little nibble.

“You have plenty of time to fill my belly. Tonight I just want to invade your privacy. You know, go through your medicine cabinet and ransack your panty drawer.” Did he just say ransack? “I want to see how Ms. Nina Norwood lives.”

“Well Mr. Vandervol I live like any average run-of-the-mill fairytale princess.” I made a joke. I thought he would laugh. He didn’t. He leaned close to me.

“Fairytale princess, yes. You can never be average. That would be impossible.”

Oh my. I have to fuck him. No, not him fucking me. I have to fuck him.

Focus Nina. “What time are you coming by?”

“Seven. Does that work for you?”

“Yes it works for me. I have to go back to work. My lunch was over thirty minutes ago.”

“Okay babe.” There it is, babe. “I’m just trying to keep you as long as I can. I will let you out the car once you share your lips.”

I leaned over and gave Bash a passionate kiss. His mouth tasted like a turkey club. Maybe it was my mouth that tasted like a turkey club. We had the same sandwich for lunch today. We like many of the same things. I’ve noticed that in the limited time we’ve been joined at the hip.

***

I didn’t have to clean my condo up much. I just tidied up a bit. I keep a clean house and my place is nice and cozy. My décor is modern but trendy. I’m a minimalist so there is space to move around and breathe. Six people could do the D-Low shuffle in my living room. That’s never happened. Once, me, Tangie and my sister did dance around. We even choreographed a little something to
Trini Dem Girls
. We had to prove that we weren’t too old to whine up our waists and pat the pum pum.

I redid my entire kitchen a few years ago. I got all new stainless steel appliances. I converted one of my bedrooms into a closet. I was really happy with the end result.

I was proud of my little piece of a place. It was comfortable and in a quiet neighborhood. It was home. Actually I loved my place. It was all mine, a part of my personality and a reflection of the woman I am.

Seven got here soon. Bash was on time like I knew he would be. I changed into a cute gray and black jog suit. It was basically a matching hoodie with shorts. I wanted to showcase my legs. Bash seemed to like my legs. He touched them so often I had grown accustomed to the subtle gesture.

He entered my place after I buzzed him up. He was wearing gray jeans and a long sleeved button up blue denim shirt. His sleeves were rolled up with only an ounce of care. He was wearing gray gym shoes. I didn’t recognize the brand. His skin was so smooth and tanned, a yellowish orange hue. I wanted to touch him. He appeared to have jumped out of the shower and just thrown something on. His blonde hair was slicked back but unruly. He never looked so sexy. So styled but unstyled. So ruffled but unruffled. So GQ but so JCPenney.

Bash hugged me then followed me down the hall into the kitchen. His huge presence seeped into my semi glossed walls.

“So this is where Nina Norwood lives.”

“Yes this is where I lay my head.” I chuckled. “Would you like a drink?”

“Yes and an intimate tour of the premises.” He put the bags of food on my kitchen counter.

“The place isn’t that big but I will give you the thirty second tour.”

“I think it’s an ideal size for a single person.” Ohhhhhh. His eyes darted around my kitchen. “Did you decorate the place yourself?”

“Yes.” This guy right here must have a decorator. Who hires a decorator? Oh, rich people. “Did I already ask you if you want a drink?” I couldn’t remember.

“Yes I’ll take a drink. What do you have?”

“How about Pinot Grigio? It’s German.”

“Yes that’s perfect.” He smiled as he moved closer to me.

“Coming right up.” I grabbed two wine glasses from the upper cabinet.

Bash was only a few paces behind me. He was looking at his surroundings and taking them in. I grabbed the bottle of wine from my refrigerated wine cellar that was built into the side of the kitchen island. It only held twenty bottles of wine and liquor. Which was more than enough. I removed the corkscrew from the drawer.

“Give me.” He held out his hand. I placed the corkscrew in his waiting palm. I gave the bottle of German Pinot Grigio over to him. He placed it on the counter. I watched as he removed the foil at the nose of the bottle.

“So last night?” I thought I would break the ice and broach the eluded subject.

“That was fun.” He arched one of his perfect golden brows.

“It was fun and intense.” I added to lighten the mood.

“And very disappointing.” He glared and gave me his saddest eyes. Soon it turned into one of his intoxicating smiles.

“I guess.”

“I had so many nasty things I wanted to do to you.”

He focused on the wine bottle just like he hadn’t said what he said. I watched his hands move with grace. I didn’t want to stare in his eyes for too long. Afraid I might drool.

“Disappointing yes.” I said. “We both slept it off.”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t prepared.” He started pouring wine into our glasses. I completely missed him removing the cork.

“It’s okay. I wasn’t prepared either.” I never had to supply the condoms.