The Trouble With Flirting (14 page)

“Hey!” Amber and Courtney call out and wave from the balcony where they’re sitting on two white-cushioned loungers surrounded by a bunch of guys I don’t know. Two weeks ago, they were apparently ‘on Charlotte’s side’ and not talking to Allegra, but Allegra’s been using her confidence and supreme socialite skills—as well as me and my connection to Logan—to show them that to be friends with Allegra is to be on the fun side of the island. It didn’t take them long to come running back.

Allegra smiles and flips her hair, but doesn’t stop to say anything as we saunter past Amber and Courtney. Because, of course, it’s all about letting them know that
they
need
her
and not the other way around. It makes me want to shake my head and laugh, because she clearly didn’t hear anything I said about maturity.

“Let’s dance,” I say to her. I slide between the moving bodies, raise my arms, and sway my hips to the beat. I don’t know what Adam was so worried about. Other people can do whatever the heck they want, but this is what I’m here for. Losing myself in the rhythm, the beat, the sound. All I need now are Jackson’s hands on my hips as the music winds around us, tangling us together, and this party will be perfect.

An hour or so and one or two drinks later, I notice a girl walking between the dancers holding what looks like a small silver platter. She leans closer to some of them, speaking into their ears. Others call her over. When she finally gets near enough for me to see what’s on the platter, warning bells go off in my head.

Dozens of small, coloured pills.

With a strained smile, I continue swaying my hips and lean closer to Allegra. “Is that what I think it is?” I say, glancing towards the girl with the platter.

Allegra puts on her playful half-smile and says, “You bet it is.”

The word ‘ecstasy’ runs through my head, but it probably has some cool street name I don’t know, so I say nothing, opting instead for a forced giggle.

Allegra moves past me, her shoulders and head bobbing up and down in time to the music. “Shall I get us some?”

“Oh yeah,” I say with a laugh. “I’d
love
to try some.”

“Awesome. I’ll be right back.”

“No, wait.” I grab her arm and pull her back. Someone gives me an odd look, so I smile, let go of Allegra, and start dancing again. “I was joking. I don’t … do that kinda thing.”

“Oh, come on. Don’t be such a goody-goody. Experimentation is totally normal. You’re not about to become some hardcore addict.”

I raise my arms, throw my head back, and change swaying tempo as the music morphs into something else. “I don’t need it,” I say, widening my smile so she can see how much fun I’m having
without
drugs.

Allegra shrugs and gives me a smug look. “Whatever. I’ll convince you later.”

Okay, so that was probably the part Adam was concerned about, but, like I told him, I’m not that kind of person.

The music continues, another drink finds its way into my hand, and before long, the sexy guy I’m lucky enough to call my boyfriend moves through the crowd towards me and slides his hands around my waist. “My sexy bunny,” he breathes into my ear, just loud enough for me to hear. His lips move down my neck and across my collar bone, and even though I’m really warm, a shiver passes through me.

I don’t know how long we spend locked together on the dance floor, but I’m relieved when Jackson finally leads me away, through several more rooms of dancers, and to a corner that could almost be considered private. His dancing was starting to feel a tad inappropriate, and I was on the verge of jokingly reminding him just how many people could see us.

“I’ve missed my sexy bunny,” he says, his thumb trailing along my jaw.

I bite my lip and give him a sultry smile. “Well, I’m all yours now.”

His eyes move to my mouth, and then his lips are on mine and he’s pressing me against the wall and our tongues are twisting together and I’m warm in places I’ve never been warm before. His fingers rake through my hair, trail over my shoulders, and then he’s squeezing my left breast. Which is a whole lot more than I was expecting, and feels super awkward in a crowded room of dancers.

“Whoa, hold on there,” I say through my laughter, removing his hand as his lips press kisses against my neck. I feel his breath against my skin as he chuckles.

His hands slide down to my waist—an area that isn’t off-limits—and his mouth moves back to mine. I return his kisses with just as much passion, slowly forgetting about the room and the dancers and the music until it’s just Jackson and me and his lips and my lips. His hand slides down between us, reaches the edge of my short dress, and pulls up.

“Whoa, hey.”

His fingers slide up my leg and brush over my panties.

“Hey!” I push him away from me.

“Don’t worry, bunny,” he says with a smile. “Nobody’s gonna see.” He covers me with his body, and his hand is back there, rubbing against—

“I said stop!” I shove harder this time, and he stumbles away from me. He stands there, breathing hard and looking confused. Maybe he’s had too much to drink and doesn’t know what he’s doing. Maybe we both need to find a balcony and get some air.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, stepping closer to run a hand down my arm. I look around to see if anyone noticed his gigantic inappropriateness a moment ago. Apparently not. “Don’t worry, Livi,” he says, his confusion replaced with a knowing smile. “It’s dark in here. You don’t have to worry about anyone seeing.” And then he’s smothering me, both hands gripping my thighs, his hot breath in my ear as he says, “Or we could find a bedroom if you want to—”

“STOP! Get OFF me!” I push as hard as if my life depends upon it. Jackson stumbles backwards into a small glass table standing against the wall. He goes down along with the table and the expensive-looking ceramic bowl that was sitting on top of it. Glass shatters and someone screams and Jackson’s on the floor and everyone’s staring at us and the music pounds but no one’s dancing and Jackson’s yelling obscenities and I’m shaking and shocked and scared and …

I run. Through the people and out of the room and up some stairs and into a bathroom. I slam the door shut and lean against it, breathing hard. What did I just do? What did
he
just do? How dare he think he could touch me like that? Perhaps I gave him the wrong signals, but he should have backed off after I first pushed him away. He should have. This
isn’t
my fault.

Isn’t it?
says a small, needling voice at the back of my mind, reminding me of my short dress and my sexy smiles and my flirty glances.

“No!” I glare at my reflection. It begins to wobble as tears fill my eyes. I take a deep breath and blink them away. I need to get out of here. Out of this bathroom and out of this house.

I walk down the stairs on shaking legs. I hurry through room after room, lost for a while until I find the wide open space Allegra and I were first dancing in. The music’s still playing and drinks are flowing and an empty silver platter sits on a side table and everyone’s having a wild time.

“Livi!” Allegra hurries over to me and pushes my purse—which I’d completely forgotten about until this moment—into my hands. “What the hell happened? People are saying you totally flipped out. That you, like, attacked Jackson.”

“What? No, he—”

“I saw his hands. They were bleeding.”

“Listen, Allegra. It was an accident. We were in a corner, and he was … he was trying to …”

Allegra’s eyes widen. “Did he hurt you?”

“No, but he—”

“Then what the hell, Livi? You don’t attack your boyfriend just for making out with you in a dark corner.”

“It
wasn’t
just making out. It was—” I stop and take a deep breath. I don’t want to do this here. I don’t want to
be
here. “Can we please go home?”

“Go home? Livi, the party’s just starting.”

“Okay, but … I just … I think the party’s over for me.”

Allegra takes my hand. “Come on, let’s go dance again. Just forget about Jackson and enjoy the dancing. And look what I got for you!” She opens her purse and produces a pink pill with a butterfly indentation stamped onto it. “You’ll definitely have fun after you take this.”

I shake my head. “No. That isn’t going to help.”

“Livi, just try it. I’ve also got one. We’ll take it together, and I promise it won’t be scary or—”

“No! Aren’t you listening? I really need to go home.”

Allegra looks around at the people throwing concerned glances our way. She tugs me to the edge of the room. “You are embarrassing me, Livi,” she says, loud enough that only I can hear her. “You need to stop being weird, okay? Just chill. Now, I’m going to give this to you.” She holds the pill up. “And you can either—”

I lose track of what she’s saying as I start to feel lightheaded. Sweaty, nauseous, shaky. Flashing lights mix with images I don’t want to see. Jackson and his hands, Allegra and her hyena laughter. Drinking and flirting and drugs and—I DON’T WANT THIS.

“NO!” I push dizzily past her. “I’m done with this. I’m done with all of this.” The walls seem to be tilting, but I manage to find my way outside. I lean against a car in the driveway and slowly take in gulps of cold air. The nausea subsides, but I can’t rid myself of the feeling that I’ve just lost my friend. My friend who feeds me drugs when I’m upset and won’t take me seriously when I try to tell her about a guy forcing himself on me. So it’s probably a good thing she’ll never want to speak to me again.

My hands shake as I run them through my hair. How am I supposed to get home? I’ve never called a taxi before, and they probably cost more money than I have on me. No way am I calling Adam. Not after he told me not to come in the first place. Luke? Maybe he’s free.

I pull my phone out and find his number. “Don’t cry,” I murmur to myself as I listen to the ringing. “Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry.”

Voice mail.

My lip shudders. Tears well up. I stare at Adam’s name on my phone. I stare at it until the screen goes dark as I try to figure out what to say to him. I unlock the phone and press my thumb over his name. I listen to the ringing, ringing, ringing while half of me desperately hopes he’ll pick up and the other half hopes he doesn’t.

He doesn’t. Another voice mail.

This time the tears spill over onto my cheeks. I blink through them and check the time on my phone. It’s just before midnight, so Adam’s probably still at work. He did say he’d be finishing late tonight.

Maybe I’ll just have to wait out here until he looks at his phone. But it’s getting cold, and tiny drops of rain are beginning to fall. I back up until I’m standing beneath the shelter of the entrance. I rub my hands up and down my arms. I don’t want to go back inside, not even to wait. I DO NOT want to come anywhere near this house ever—

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” a voice says as someone bumps into me. I scoot out of the way and see a guy with his arm around a girl. Another couple walks out of the house behind them.

“Oh, that’s okay. Um, hang on.” I’m about to die of embarrassment inside, but I’m so fracking desperate, I have to ask. “Where are you guys heading? I kinda need a lift.”

“Uh, Claremont,” the guy says.

“Gotta get to the next party,” his date adds with a giggle.

“Any chance you can drive by Rondebosch on the way?” I ask.

The guy looks around at his friends for confirmation. The other guy shrugs. “Yeah, I think we’re sorta going that way.”

“Awesome. Thank you so much.”
Thank you thank you thank you.

I climb into the back seat beside one of the couples, relief filling me with warmth as we drive away. I tilt my head back against the headrest, only to jerk it forward as music blasts suddenly from the speakers. The girl beside me laughs, then gets back to draping herself over the guy sitting on her other side. The music pounds, the couple won’t stop making out, and the driver pushes the car faster and faster and faster through the rain until I’m almost certain I’m not going to make it home alive.

“Hey, Rick,” the girl beside me yells above the music. She unwinds herself from her boyfriend and leans forward with her phone in one hand. “Can you stop and pick up Jody from Tugwell?”

Rick, whose driver’s licence should be confiscated before he kills a whole lot of people, nods.

I cling to the car door and close my eyes.

When we finally screech to a halt, I open my eyes and look out at the tall towers of Tugwell Hall. “Hey, chick in the back seat,” Rick says. “This close enough?”

“Oh, um …” I lean forward. “Is it possible for you to drive just a little further down Main Road?” That still won’t get me all the way home, but at least I’ll be a bit closer.

“Yeah, I guess I could.”

“Rick, there isn’t going to be enough space,” the girl beside me complains. “Alice is coming with Jody, so there’ll already be four of us squashed in the back here.”

“Well, where the hell are they? You said we’re here, right?”

“Yes. They’re on their way.”

Rick taps his fingers on the steering wheel. “I don’t see them.” The car jerks forward and speeds off down the wet road and through a red traffic light.

“Rick!” the girl screeches.

Rick slams on the brakes outside the Pick ’n Pay. “Okay, out you get,” he says to me.

“Um, thank you,” I say as I fumble with the seatbelt and the door handle. I’ve barely slammed the door shut when the car takes off, kicking water up from the wet road. Two seconds later, the car speeds past me back towards Tugwell.

I look down at the muddy water splashed across my feet. The satin fabric of my high-heeled shoes is probably ruined.
Who the hell cares?
I tell myself.
You have bigger problems right now.
I glance around briefly before clutching my purse tightly beneath my arm and hurrying along the sidewalk. All kinds of horrible things can happen to a girl walking alone in the middle of the night. I’ve heard the stories. I heard one just a few days ago about girl walking somewhere near campus who ended up stabbed and in hospital because somebody wanted her cell phone and—