The Trials of Renegade X (46 page)

He looks over at me when I come in, his eyes going wide.

“Hey, do you want to play trucks vs. dinosaurs?” I ask him. Anything to keep him from watching the show.

He shakes his head.

“You want to watch a movie with me? Or we could go
to
the movies.” We’d probably miss dinner, but at least it would give me something else to think about. “I’m buying. We can see anything you want.”

He hesitates this time, like he’s tempted. But then he says, “I don’t feel like it.”

“Like watching a movie, or like watching it with
me
?”

“I just don’t want to,” he mumbles, looking away.

I get between him and the TV, which isn’t as easy as it sounds, since he always sits so close to it, and press the power button.

“Hey!”

“We need to talk.” And we really need to not watch Gordon’s show today. I kneel down on the floor with him. “I know you’ve been avoiding me.”

“No, I haven’t,” he says, though he doesn’t sound at all convincing. More like he feels guilty because it’s the truth and he’s afraid to own up to it.

“Is it because of this?” I hold up my hands and make electricity arc between them.

Alex’s face goes pale and he scoots back, ready to bolt, in case I lose control and shock him.

I make my hands go normal again and show them to him. “I’m still your brother, you know. You don’t have to be afraid of me.”

“Does it hurt?”

“No. Not me, anyway. It could hurt other people. But, Alex, you
know
me. You know I wouldn’t do that. I’m still the same person who drew that excellent Velociraptor on your cast a month ago.”

He glances down at the drawing on his arm—which still looks pretty good, even if the rest of his cast has gotten kind of dingy—then back up at me. “But you blew up your school. I saw it online. Everyone at my school saw it, too, and they said only supervillains can have lightning power.”

“Well, yeah. But only superheroes can fly, and I can do that, too.”

“You
don’t
, though. And everyone’s mad at you, for what you did at Heroesworth.”

“I didn’t do that because I’m a villain. I did that because I got scared. I thought Sarah was going to hurt Kat.” Well, more than she already had, anyway. “But it was a misunderstanding. She’s not going to hurt anyone. It’s over now, and everyone’s okay.”

“Oh.”

“Except, you know, for
me
, since my favorite brother doesn’t want to hang out with me anymore.”

He laughs. “I’m your
only
brother.”

Ha. I wish. “Oh, great. So now if you don’t want to have anything to do with me, then I’ll have
no
brothers.”

“I didn’t say that. I still want to be your brother.”

“Well, good, because I still want to be yours. And it’s going to be Christmas in a few months, and that would have been one present down for each of us. I think we just dodged a bullet.”

He grins.

I smile and hold out my fist.

He hesitates, still a little afraid to touch me, but then he risks it and bumps his fist against mine. He looks really relieved when he doesn’t get electrocuted.

“So,” I say, “now that we’re cool again, how about we go—”

Amelia’s door flings open upstairs.

Crap. I thought she wasn’t home.

She comes racing down to the living room, shrieking, “Dad!
Dad!
”

Which I think is my cue to get the hell out of here. “Rain check,” I tell Alex, jumping up from the floor.

Zach comes down the stairs, too. I guess they decided to come over here instead of going to his house. Though that doesn’t explain why they were in her room, alone. With the door closed.

Amelia turns on the TV, and I should be making my escape, but instead I narrow my eyes at Zach. “What were you guys doing?”

He swallows. “Watching the show.”

“Uh-huh. And what else?”

His face goes red. “
Nothing
.”

“It
better
have been nothing. Because I like you, Zach. I’d really hate to have to kill you.”

Gordon comes running in from the backyard, looking pretty freaked out, like he expects to find a dead body in here. Which is understandable, given the way Amelia was screaming just now.

But before he can ask what’s going on, he sees me on the screen. I’m sitting on my bed, wearing just my swimming trunks, the same as in the video of me from Homecoming.

“Damien,” Gordon growls. “What the hell is this?”

And
that
really is my cue to go. I make a run for the door, but Gordon blocks me and grabs my shoulder, not letting me leave.

Then Helen comes in, carrying Jess, and now they’re
all
here. Which is just great. Why not invite all the neighbors over, too? The whole block can be here to watch me die of embarrassment.

We missed the part where I introduce myself as the Crimson Flash’s half-villain son. I thought I’d better make sure everyone was up to speed, just in case anyone watching has been living in a cave for the past week. On the screen, I grin at the camera, even though I look like hell. There are dark circles under my eyes, and my hair is kind of greasy, and my face looks pale. It’s like I almost died the night before or something. “So”—it’s weird, hearing my voice on the TV, and I cringe a little—“there was this assignment I was supposed to do at Heroesworth, about what heroism means to me. You probably heard about it. You probably heard
a lot
of things, but this one was true. I never really finished it. Well, actually, I did. I turned it in twice. The first time, I just said what I thought people wanted to hear. The second time is the one you probably heard about, when it was blank. And I know what you’re all thinking. You’re thinking, ’Yeah, that figures, what with him being a villain and all,’ and that heroism doesn’t actually mean anything to me.” I take a deep breath. “That’s what I
wanted
everyone to think. But it’s a lie.”

In real life, everyone turns to look at me. Gordon’s grip on my shoulder tightens, and not in a friendly “I love my son” sort of way.

I will myself to pass out. Or to drop dead. Either one.

On the screen, I keep talking. “So, I’m finishing the assignment. For reals this time. I don’t have a poster, just this video, but that’s okay, because I think we all know by now that posters aren’t really my strong point.” I splay out my hands. “You guys thought you knew the Crimson Flash. You thought he was this great guy who was nice to kids and taught them safety tips and stuff, and that he was the type of person who would never hurt anyone. A superhero you could trust above all others. One who would
never
sleep with a supervillain, let alone in a—” I clear my throat, cutting myself off, since the details of him and my mom sleeping together aren’t exactly public knowledge. “Believe me, I
live
with the guy, and I’d never expect that from him.”

Gordon lets go of my shoulder. The blood drains from his face. He looks like he feels almost as sick as I do. “I asked you not to do anything,” he says, sounding numb and completely devastated. Like this really was the last straw and I broke him.

“And now,” the me on the screen goes on, “it turns out Golden City’s most beloved superhero isn’t who you thought he was. Because he has a half-villain son he didn’t tell you about, who caused some trouble.” I pause. “A lot of trouble. And you know what? You’re right, Golden City. He’s
not
who you thought he was. He’s a whole hell of a lot
better
than that. Because he didn’t even know I existed for sixteen years, but that didn’t matter to him. When my mom kicked me out, he took me in, no questions asked. Seriously.
None.
And I know I’m not his ideal son or anything. Not even close. All I do is cause trouble for him. Well, for everyone. And I’m a reminder of the one stupid mistake he’s ever made, and I never let him forget it. Though I can’t say I’m not glad he made that particular mistake, what with enjoying being alive and all. But still. It’s not easy for him, having me around. His life was pretty much perfect before I showed up. He didn’t need me—he
doesn’t
—but he still made me part of his family. And now I accidentally blew up part of Heroesworth, because I’m half villain. I
ruined
him. And it wasn’t even his fault I was there—it was mine. He has absolutely no reason to keep me around, and every reason to get rid of me. But
that’s not who he is
.”

I swallow, both in real life and on the screen.

“He’s done everything he can to make me feel like I have a home. Like I can feel safe, no matter what. That no matter how badly I screw up, he’s not going to give up on me. That I’m still his
son
.” I tap my hand to my chest, emphasizing the word. I hadn’t realized I’d done that. “It’s easy to be a hero when everybody loves you. When they think you’re perfect. But he’s a hero even when everybody
hates
him. I know because the whole city turned on him, and he still stood by me. I’m his stupid screw-up son that he’s only known for half a year, but he still sacrificed everything for me.” I clench my hands, grasping at the air. “He didn’t have to. He could have gotten rid of me. He could have
walked away
. I bet a lot of people expected him to. I know I did, and I wouldn’t have blamed him for it. That’s how badly I screwed up, and it’s probably what I deserve. But he didn’t. And he never will. And
that’s
what heroism means to me.”

On the screen, I press my hands to my knees, staring down at the bed for a second. Then I look up and say, “You can turn it off now.”

The video cuts back to the episode of
The Crimson Flash and the Safety Kids
, as if nothing out of the ordinary just happened.

The whole house is deathly silent. No one says a word. I don’t think anyone even breathes—I know I sure don’t. I hold my breath until my lungs ache. I keep waiting for Gordon to speak. To tell me I was wrong in the video and that he can’t stand to have me around for even one more second.

When I can’t take it anymore, I look over at him.

He’s staring at me. His eyes are wet. “Did you mean all that?”

No, I stripped down to my underwear and aired all my messy feelings on TV for
fun
. “Of course I—”

He doesn’t let me finish. He pulls me into a hug, squeezing me so tight, I can’t even breathe.

For a second, I’m too stunned to move. And then I hug him back. Even though everyone’s gawking at us, as if seeing the most embarrassing moment of my life wasn’t enough for them and they have to stick around for this, too.

“You were wrong about one thing, though,” Gordon says, finally letting go of me.

“Yeah? What’s that?”

“I
do
need you.”

“Are you sure? Because I think I have a real shot at joining the circus.”

He laughs and says, “Yes, Damien. I’m sure.”

Chapter 34

“ZACH, WHAT ARE YOU doing? Get over here.” I point to my side of the living room, where I’m having a Halloween party. It’s been three weeks since everything that happened at Vilmore, and while it’s not actually Halloween quite yet, it
is
Amelia’s birthday.

She’s also having a party. It’s also in the living room.

Her party has significantly more guests than mine, since she’s got about fifteen girls over—mostly her friends from our old school and a few new ones from Heroesworth—plus Zach, and I’ve only got Kat and Riley so far, since Sarah’s running late.

Zach’s holding a cupcake with pink icing. He was about to eat it, but now his mouth falls open as he looks back and forth between me and Amelia, who’s too busy talking to her friend Tiffany under a giant sweet-sixteen banner to notice me trying to lure him over to the dark side.

“Come on.” I tap my foot. “
I
invited you. You said you were coming to my party. So get over here.”

He swallows and looks really nervous, like he thinks he’s actually hurting my feelings or something. “But Amelia invited me to her party, too.”

I gape at him, pretending to be shocked. “And you thought you could go to both? Is that why you’re not wearing a costume?”

He looks me up and down, taking in the 1920s-style pinstripe suit and fedora I’m wearing, as if he hadn’t realized I don’t always dress this awesome. Which is flattering, but it doesn’t mean I’m going to stop messing with him. “Well, I—”

“I thought you were my friend. And I’m pretty sure I invited you first.”

“But she told me about her party weeks ago! And she has cupcakes.”

“Yeah, but did she put it in writing? I gave you an
invitation
.” It was one of those cheesy ones they make for little-kid parties. There was a picture of a smiling jack-o-lantern on it and a very non-threatening vampire bat. “So you’d better give me that”—I snatch the cupcake out of his hands—“and come over here.”

He opens his mouth to protest some more, but then can’t seem to think of a good argument. He sighs, his shoulders slumping, and crosses over to my side of the room.

Riley folds his arms, looking amused, and says, “He’s just messing with you, Zach. You can be at both parties.”

“I ... I knew that,” Zach says, though not very convincingly. He holds out his hand for me to give the cupcake back, but I pretend not to notice and take a bite out of it.

Amelia spots him, letting out a horrified gasp, and shouts, “Zach! What are you doing? You’re my boyfriend! You’re supposed to be at
my
party! Not
his
.”

“Don’t listen to her,” I tell him. “She can’t love you like I can.”

He wiggles his eyebrows at me and says, “I’ll sneak back over later,” before hurrying off.

Amelia glares at me. She holds out her hand and uses her power to make my cupcake appear in her palm. “These are for my
guests
,” she says, setting it down before marching up to me. “You’re not even supposed to be here.”

“I live here.”

“Mom said you could have a few friends over. She didn’t say you could try to take over my party. And she
is
home, you know.” She says that like I should be worried that Helen’s going to find out I’m doing exactly what she said I could.