The Touch Series: Initiation (13 page)

              As I was staring out our balcony, I realized that the dance would be a good opportunity to  spend time with Josef and in the process apologize for what occurred earlier. Deciding that I should sacrifice my dignity and go up and ask him to join me, I told Janel and Ivy that I was going to get some ice from the ice machine and that I would be back soon. I got onto the elevator and pushed the button for the top floor. I remembered that Gwen always told us that we could not seek Josef out, and if we needed to see him that we were to request it through her or Artie. But I didn't have that time and quite frankly Gwen scared the shit out of me.

              I arrived at the top floor and there was only one room which made it easier for me to figure  which room was his! I heard loud music as I knocked on the door. I was looking down at my hands while trying to control my breathing. Anxiously, I stood there for a few moments wondering whether I was making the right choice or if this will simply all blow up in my face.

              When the door opened, I glanced up to find a surprised Josef. He leaned on his left side against the door frame while his right hand was on the back of the door. He looked around the hall before he looked at me again with his mouth slightly open.

              “I guessed that the penthouse was all the way at the top,” I muttered jokingly.  My stomach turned into knots over the possibility that he might be angry that I came without going through Gwen or Artie first.

              Better talk fast. “I just wanted to apologize for what happened at the course. I just....I... I don't do well around guys let alone being touched by one. And you caught me off guard.” I was embarrassed to be so honest with him. But I had to be. There didn't seem to be much sense waving it off and pretending that what happened didn't happen and that I didn't totally spaz out on him.

              He tilted his head lower, “I'm the one that should be apologizing.” I was completely surprised by his response and I was going to say something when he spoke again, “It wasn't appropriate, especially near the others.”

              I smiled at him and nodded as a way to show him that I accepted his apology. Though there was a part of me that was somewhat disappointed. I wanted him to touch me but it wasn't the right moment and I freaked out uncontrollably in return. Not only did I not expect him to apologize but I really didn't want him to at all.

              The corners of his lips slowly raised and his eyes turned mischievous. “You broke the rules by coming up here. There must be something else.”

              Yes, yes there was. I blushed and pulled my hair behind my ears, “I was just wondering if you would like to go to the 1920's themed dance the hotel is holding? I know that it sounds super cheesy but apparently there going to have an actual big band and there will be cocktails all night. Well, of course you would have to compel the waiters not to ask for my ID. You know, because that would be great for you to do that for me and, well...um super nice.”
Okay, I have to stop talking!

              His grin expanded and he whispered, “Quinn, are you asking me out on a date?”

              I stopped smiling and I shook my head profusely. “No, of course not.” I started feeling really hot and flustered. “I thought we could go as friends,” I replied in the most unconvincing way; naturally, I cursed myself inside.

              “Oh.”

              “Yes. Oh”

              “A dance as friends. Just the two of us?”

              “Yep. Nothing else to it,” I laughed nervously.

              He leaned his head against the door, looked up to the ceiling, and pursed his lips as he thought about it. I could see the muscles and rips on his arm that was holding the side of the door....Then he looked down at me again. “I'm actually going to be busy tonight plus...I don't dance.”

              I suddenly remembered what he told me during our initial meeting and at our first party together. For some reason, I kept forgetting that he hated to dance. Crap! I completely forgot. I looked down at my hands for a few seconds and then looked back up at his chest, “Right. Okay. That's fine. I'll go by myself then.”  I held back my disappointment by giving him a big smile as I looked back into his eyes. 

              It felt like eternity standing there with only a foot of space between us. I could hear rock music playing from his penthouse but it was the sound of my heartbeat that was louder; its pulse vibrated throughout my body and the rushing of blood was felt not only in my cheeks but in my ears too. I'm sure from another person's perspective, it wasn't really a good look.

              Without a second thought, I bowed and laughed before I started walking away. I pressed the elevator button. He was still standing at the door and looked like he wanted to say something, “Quinn?...”

              I looked right at him, waiting for him to continue. He put both his hands behind his head and said, “Goodnight.”

              Goodnight. That's all I got. I was beyond disappointed. I was actually sad. But I still smiled at him, “Goodnight, Josef.” The elevator doors opened, I stepped in, pressed the button for my floor and I looked down the whole time while the doors were closing.

              A female automated voice suddenly spoke up:
Going down
.

              Story of my life.

                                                                                    ***

              Despite Josef not wanting to join me, I was looking forward to going to the 1920's dance. I expected the guests to go along with the theme and for there to be an actual big band with a Frank Sinatra-like crooner. Sitting on a stool at the bar, I was beyond disappointed. Women decided to show up in club wear and the band constantly attempted to play big band versions of contemporary songs. The night was turning out to be lousy and it was going to be the last one before flying back home tomorrow. And since I wasn't legally able to drink alcohol yet, I couldn't drink away the disappointment.

              The island was beautiful and I was having a lovely time but my jealous feelings over Josef were getting in the way of everything else that I was feeling. I had recently met the guy and my whole world felt turned upside down. I sighed and continued to munch on the peanuts on the bar counter.

              After half an hour, I decided to call it a night. I slipped off the stool and started to head off towards the ballroom's entrance hall. As I passed the door greeter and stepped into the main hall of the hotel, I saw Josef walk towards my way. He was wearing a suit and looked incredible in it. I was too taken aback by how handsome he was to even speak and ask him what he was up to.

              When he reached me, he noticed my confusion and began to speak to break the awkwardness, “Is the party over?” He looked over my shoulder towards the ballroom as he smiled in a lopsided manner.

              “Let's just say that no one got the memo that it was a 1920's themed dance. You have a band who has never heard of the song 'Moonlight Serenade' when you request it and the guests are more into grinding than doing the Charleston.”

              “That's too bad because I thought I would drop in and get a glimpse of your dancing skills.” He quickly ran his eyes down my body before setting his eyes on mine with his grin becoming wider.

              I blushed but I didn't want to show him that he had complete control of me like that. “Really? You got all dressed up to come and see me dance?” I shook my head at him. “You could have just said  something. I do consider private sessions.”

              He was taken aback by my comment as his eyes widened and he slightly groaned. “And how would I book something like?”

              “I'm sorry. But I think I'm pretty booked.” I walked passed him to get to the elevators. I was still slightly put off by the thought of him spending time with the other girls after shopping. He didn't say what he was doing in his penthouse and he acted secretive as he blocked the view inside his room. He acted like he wanted to be near me and get to know me but then he had a completely unknown side to him that I will mostly likely never have a part in.

              I stood facing the elevator doors and waited. He circled in front of me and he looked annoyed. “Are you still angry about what happened on the course? I thought we got passed that.”

              I rolled my eyes and I spoke with a low voice so that the people around us wouldn't here. “No... I just had a lot to think about just now. And I realized that you must have been with some other girl just before you came down and that's why you acted weird when I came up to your penthouse.”

              He grabbed my arm, pulled me aside, looked around and quickly pulled me into a coat closet. Once he closed the door behind us, he stepped right in front of me and pointed his finger in an accusatory manner. “You knew this was a group thing involving seven other girls. You signed on for it. Actually from what I remember, you quickly signed that contract when you were in my house without taking time to think it through more. So what I do with the others is none of your business.”

              His words cut right through me. He had never been this harsh with me before and I felt like my world had shattered in front of me. I wanted to say something but I couldn't. Instead I felt a huge lump in my throat. I looked down and I didn't care if he was going to get mad. He already was.

              He slowly lifted my chin with one of his hands and had me look right into his eyes. “I was working. I was just really shocked to see you, that's all.” His eyes warmed and his voice grew softer. “But you can't expect me to only give attention to you. That's not how it works.”

              “I don't like it.” My voice sounded broken and vulnerable.

              “I know.”

              “You're right. I didn't think it through properly before I signed the contract.” At this point, I started to fight back the sudden urge to cry.

              He ran his other hand across his face before stopping to rub his chin as his eyes widened at what I had said. “Okay. We're going to have to figure something out then.”

              I looked up at him confused. “What do you mean?”

              He started to pace in a back-and-forth manner across the small closet with his hands behind his head. He looked like he was thinking about something all the while looking slightly annoyed. He then stopped and leaned against the side of an arm chair with his arms crossed against his chest. “Fine. How about this? I allow you private time while I see the others in groups. Would that make you feel better?”

              I was surprised that he was making these considerations and changing how the Club works. He really likes me? He must...

              He looked at me, waiting for me to reply, with a hopeful look in his eyes. I felt in control and it felt good so I decided to go ahead and try to set my own rules. “Okay. But only I can touch you.”

                                                                                    ***

              He looked at me as if my demand was crazy and not possible. But I didn't give in and I stood there composed. Finally, he grunted and leaned slightly towards my face. “You're frustrating, you know that?”             

              “Really? I've never had a man tell me that before.” It was true. Then again, I never was around a lot of guys before...

              He leaned back again and rubbed his bottom lip with a finger. “That's going to be hard to explain. You being allowed to touch me and the other seven can't.”

              “It would be in private though. How will someone find out?”

              He flashed me that wolfish grin that made me melt inside. “Private? Miss Turner, I was prepared to meet a completely different girl when Artie first described you to me. Now, how much private time do you expect to have with me?”

              I pretended to think about it as I looked up to the ceiling with my lips pursed. Then I looked back at him as I crossed my arms against my chest to mirror him. “How much time, outside of work, would you have for me?”

              His grin grew to the point that his dimples became more prominent. He belonged in a Calvin Klein ad. He was too unreal. “Being the CEO of my company, I can make a lot of time.”

              Oh shit. He was giving me enough swoon-worthy moments for life in this tiny closet. I bit on my finger for a few seconds in order to suppress my inner urges. “Okay. I'm glad to know that. Because I will want a lot... a lot of private time.” I slowly moved towards him and placed myself right in front of him. “But what kind of... extracurricular activities will you do with the others and what will you do with me?”             

              “Well, I can reassure you that the others will be subjected to typical things like shopping, club outings and attending random events sponsored by my company.” He leaned in close to my face and whispered, “But you – I will have a completely different itinerary for you.”