The Toll (54 page)

Slipping my nightshirt on over my
head, I wrung my hair out, finger combing it until it was dry
enough to climb beneath the covers.

Settling down on my side, I fingered
the small sack I’d placed in my balled up dress, our pillows for
the night, since, according to our dearest host, the place didn’t
have any available. If we’d wanted any, like the bath, it would
have cost us. We were okay with dress pillows.

“
Why did you want to know
about the locket?” I asked finally, turning to face her
fully.

Curled up on her side as well, her
eyes dimmed a little and her ready smile fell.

“
The Lady said you hadn’t
accepted it yet, so the binding spell Magda wanted to put on me
wouldn’t work until you’d worn it. I didn’t know it was a locket.
She’d said ‘token’.”

“
Binding spell?”

“
It’s pure Dark magic.”
Vidi bit out bitterly. “Why would she even attempt it when she’s
got more than enough Fae magic? Bind me for what?”

“
I’m sorry,” I sympathized,
“I wish I knew, but I don’t. She told me...” I paused, sighing
heavily. “She said it was for protection.”

“
Protection spells don’t
bind, bright eyes.” Vidi used the nickname often, but I didn’t mind
it so much from her. “Binding spells syphon.”

“
Syphon?” That didn’t sound
good.

“
She wants to take
something from me, or bind me from using it.”

“
Casting?” I guessed,
having seen Vidi’s progression as she secretly practiced the
craft.

“
I won’t let her.” Vidi’s
hands tightened on the pillow. “I’m not going back.”

Resting my hand on hers gently, I
pried her fingers loose before they tore a hole in her
dress.

With a sharp nod, she rolled over,
giving me her back.

“
Does this mean you’re
coming with me?” I asked tentatively.

“
You wouldn’t
mind?”

I shook my head so hard the bed
bounced. “Not at all.”

“
Alright then,” she
murmured finally, “the two traveling sisters, it is.”

The smile that lit my face was the
first real, full, genuine face splitting one I’d had in months. But
first... no more secrets. “Vidi?”

“
Hmm?”

“
I don’t know if this has
anything to do with it, but Madga isn’t your granmamma. And I don’t
know if it matters, but it’s just a hunch... uhm, I don’t think
she’s as strong as she’s led other to believe.”

“
Why do you say
that?”

“
Her cane,” I murmured
thoughtfully, frowning. “It’s strange magic. And, well, you’re much
stronger than her?”

“
I am?”

“
Yes.” My head ruffled the
pillow as I nodded. “Much more so.”

“
The magic was strange, you
said? Strange how?”

“
I don’t know. I can’t
place it. Doesn’t smell Fae, though.”

Vidi’s entire body stiffened, so still
I’d almost thought she’d stopped breathing altogether.

Leaning forward a little, I whispered,
“Vidi?”

“
How long have you known?”
her voice was raw and tight.

Shrinking back, I stared down at my
fingers, visible to my enhanced eyes in the dark.

“
How long?”

“
How long what?”

“
How long did you know any
of it, all of it? How long?”

“
Some since the first
night, others... I could be wrong, but it was just a feeling. And
she’d looked funny when she dropped her glamour.”

“
Tell me.”

“
She had sharp teeth, and I
don’t know... a weird aura about her. That’s not Fae, is
it?”

“
No,” she whispered
hoarsely.

“
Uhm, Vidi?”

Vidi took what felt like an hour
before responding. “Thank you for telling me.” It sounded like she
was crying after a while as we lay there, trying to muffle
it.

When I went to touch her shoulder, she
brushed me off. “I’m sorry,” I murmured, silently crying with
her.

“
Me too,” she
sniffled.

****

Something was going on. There was
roaring, lots of roaring, and someone was really mad, raging, but
it was as if I was hearing it all through water, muddled and fuzzy.
Something was blocking the madness clawing to get its way through.
It was after me. It’s going to get me.

Face screwing up tight, I whimpered in
my sleep, kicking out as if to run. The roaring stopped and a pain
filled howl had my ears ringing. Fear washed over me, and I knew,
no matter how hard I tried, I’d never escape.

****

When I woke up the next morning, Vidi
and Gall were gone. All of my belongings were present, but when I
went to change and pack away the dress I’d used as a pillow, I
noticed my pouch was gone.

Shocked, I didn’t know what
to do.
I have no coins, and I’m stranded
here.
Hell, I don’t even know where
here
is!

My booted foot hit something as I
skidded across the floor, and a familiar clink hit my ears.
Dropping to all fours, I found my coin purse spilled out all over
Vidi’s side of the bed, the blanket, having slipped down, masking
it.

Coins were spilled out everywhere, a
bit of braided twine laying atop them. Never having counted them, I
didn’t bother now, noting the locket was gone. Plucking up the
twine, I noticed a slim, worn looking leather bracelet, tied
together with the string, a smaller matching one to go
with.

Humming low, soft magic tainted it,
caressing my skin. It offered me gentle comfort, much as Vidi’s
presence did naturally.

Carved into the leather pouch was a
heart and the words, ‘sorry’. I understood that all too
well.

Strange, how the loss of
the locket didn’t hit me nearly as hard as losing Vidi. For all of
my supposed attachment
—no,
fascination—
with the trinket, Vidi was the
sister I’d thought I’d always wanted but could never have. I loved
her like one.

Loosening the small token of affection
and slipping it on my wrist, I twisted it this way and that. It
immediately invoked thoughts of her, and I loved it. Warmth, low
and slow, but unending, gently brushed over me. A protection, of
sorts.

Once again, though, life was teaching
me a lesson. I’m meant to be alone.

Slowly getting to my feet,
I ran my hand over my stomach protectively, shaking my head at
myself.
How stupid could I have
been?
Vidi even noted, as we’d examined my
tummy for any signs of impending motherhood the previous night,
right before my bath, that it did look softly rounded, more so than
it usually does, though not full with child, just a small
bump.

“
No,” I said slowly,
humming softly to the babe that was surely growing inside of me,
“not alone.” A small, patient smile tipped my lips as tears slowly
tracked down my cheeks. “Not anymore.”

Small Beginnings

A whole month had passed. Traveling
like this all alone just wasn’t for me, I realized the first day,
and I yearned for more stable conditions before my time
came.

The babe, and there definitely was a
babe, was already bumping up and out, tucked safely away in my
belly. Too nervous to talk to anyone, I’d kept my head down, hood
up, purchased a rather sad looking mule and supplies, and promptly
left.

They want my baby.
Even now, so far away, no one the wiser who I am
or my whereabouts, not a soul who could recognize me, my stomach
dropped to my toes and bile rose in my throat.
No one is taking my baby from me
, I
swore, hands already slowly circling the precious being growing
inside of me.

A warm glow filled me and I smiled
softly. “Like that, do you?” I chuckled, feeling a tiny but sharp
kick I wasn’t sure I should be feeling so soon. It all seemed so
sudden. Too afraid to go to a midwife and seek advice, I chose to
dwell on it quietly and worry. Fear and a fierce protective streak
were a powerful motivator.

What if someone comes
through and says they recognized me?
They
know I’ve conceived—they might go there first.

My fingers knotted,
clenching over my belly as they rested on it lightly.
No. It’s too dangerous. I won’t risk
it.

The fact that whoever fathered the
little one would remain unknown until I gave birth weighed on me,
as well, but not as much as the fear of what someone might do to my
child, however things panned out.

An Ornthren baby wouldn’t be safe
running about like any other child. To my way of thinking, he’d be
a walking target. Who knows what someone might do. And if the child
was Trystan’s... Eyes squeezed shut tight, I willed the little one
to be the product of my bonding, not the machinations of a
monster.

Either way, no matter the father, I
already loved him or her with all my heart, and nothing would ever
change that.

Still... in the back of my mind, I
prayed fervently for a grey skinned, hairless child with glowing
orange eyes.

Unsettled

Not sure if this would suit
my needs, if it really was a good fit, I didn’t know about renting
the small cottage I’d found, close enough to the local village yet
far enough away, in the long term. This was the sixth village in so
many days, weeks-
Is it months now? Hmm...
How many...?

Ah.
I waved it off.
Doesn’t
matter.
The horse I’d bought from a farmer
along my journey, Aitziber, a beautiful stallion of pure ebony,
with soulful grey eyes swirling with bits of yellow and blue, and a
sweet temperament that belayed his strength and small stubborn
streak.

He was fast—despite his hobbled
leg—like the wind, so quick footed, never tiring easily, unlike
myself lately.

Dreams eluded me lately, just a
smooth, blank canvas that rippled from time to time, sometimes
tumultuous, like a storm rushing in, but I was blanketed,
protected, as I watched the waves rolling in. At others, the
surface was serene, blurs of color, flashes of grey and orange,
rippling blue, stroking, blurring and muted, as if through thick
fog or glass, below the surface.

Reminding me so much of Troll, I ached
for days after the more pleasant ones, images of smirking smiles,
gravelly, rusty chuckles, and thick but gentle stroking hands, lips
touching mine tenderly. Those mornings, waking up sobbing into the
bedclothes, were the worst.

“
But he didn’t want me,” I
tried to tell myself, time and again. I still wasn’t convinced. Too
much to the contrary, despite his insistence otherwise, told me he
did—does.
He has to care at least a
little.... right?
I can’t be feeling this
way, all by myself.

Then why isn’t he
here?
I always asked myself.
And would he want this little one? Would he
accept the child, Ornthren or otherwise, if he did ever come
back?
Dread creeping up my spine, my hands
tightened on my belly.

Farther Along

“
Oh, something’s wrong.
Something’s wrong.” Waddling back and forth, my distended belly
protruding out in front of me, I had this horrible feeling slamming
at me, over and over. Granted, I was more prone to emotional fits
as my time drew nearer, but this was moving along much faster than
I’d anticipated.

A knock at the door
signaled Adamina was here.
Oh,
good
, I thought, with no small amount of
relief. The young woman new herbs from her mother, and had been a
boon as I reached my time.

“
Any day now,” she kept
saying softly in that sing song voice of hers.

“
Come in!” I called,
breathing in and out slowly, waiting until the pain passed to
straighten slowly.

“
Pain again?” Adamina
murmured quietly, closing the door behind her to set her basket by
the door. Her earrings dangled heavily from her ears, pulling her
lobes down with the weight of them. They suited her, if not a bit
out of place, but she’d said they were a gift on the day of her
birth. I could tell by the way she fiddled with them, fingers
stroking over them to make sure she hadn’t lost them, that she
treasured them.

“
Be fine,” I muttered,
walking over to the small bed in the corner to lie down.

“
Having a lot of them
lately.” When I didn’t answer, she quirked up a small, slender dark
brow.

“
Off and on,” I admitted
reluctantly.

Adamina’s thin but expressive face lit
up. “Soon. Maybe tonight.”

“
I hope not,” my voice was
a low grumble, a tired yawn escaping me, “I’m too tired. And are
you sure everything is alright? It seems so... soon.”