The Toll (17 page)

“
I said you could gag me
if…” my voice caught. “If… uh, you know… so, I thought, there you
go.”

“
Ye
want
ta be gagged? Am I hearin’ ye
right?”

With a bit of humor I didn’t quite
feel, I chuckled a little and slowly stood up. “A deal’s a deal,
right?”

“
Yes, but…”

“
But what?” Scuffing the
toe of my boot, I kicked a pebble at my feet and bent down to pick
up my sack, slinging it over my shoulder. “Don’t sound so shocked
and don’t pretend you don’t want to. You’ve been dying to strangle
me the moment I stumbled into this place.” Staring down at my feet,
I laughed bitterly as I squeezed past him. “No, wait, you already
did that.”

Troll growled from behind me as my
boots hit squishy, wet ground, but I just kept on
walking.

My skin prickled as I picked my way
through the tall grass that had grown long and wild, out of control
these past few months, gone up past my knees.

Tromping his way past, Troll took the
lead, gaining ahead of me. He stopped as we reached the entrance to
the only home I’d now ever know.

The wind knocking right out of me, I
grunted as he pushed me into the side of the rock wall, my mouth
dropping open in shock as he pressed himself roughly against
me.

Without another word, he shoved my
rolled up stocking in my mouth and grinned, pushing away as he
walked towards the fire place pit and the meat he had roasting on
it. “Ye know, nugget, ye’re right. A deal’s a deal.”

With a startled shriek, I cursed at
him from around a mouthful of balled up stocking, glaring at his
retreating back.

“
Dinna be bashful now,
nugget,” he chuckled evilly, “tell me how ye really
feel.”

My answer was a pathetic attempt at a
growl, falling sadly short of anything Troll could have ever
produced, followed by a gag as the taste of foot sweat registered
on my tongue.

****

“
I really canna let ye
stay, ye know.” He frowned and scratched at the back of his head,
staring off to the side as he bit off a hunk of meat, chewing
thoughtfully.

My eyes shot up from my own chunk of
meat I was picking at. Some kind of large, bird type creature, he’d
told me. A gryph-phon leg? Whatever that was. I was just thankful
for a full belly. “What do you mean?”

Lifting a thick wrist, he waved the
meaty bone he’d been eating off of at me. “We made a deal, a week
for the locket. I canna go back on it. Deal’s a deal. Ye canna be
stayin’.”

Mouth gaping, I spluttered, stunned,
knocking over the wooden cup I’d been sipping out of as he looked
away uncomfortably, grunted, and went back to his food. I set my
plate down and clenched my shaking hands in my lap.

Could my life get any more
complicated or difficult?

“
But… where will I go?” My
voice came out tinny and tiny, sad, even to my ears. I couldn’t
help it and I didn’t know if I could handle any more unexpected
news today.

Your parents don’t really
love you.
Yep. Though that’s really no
surprise, all things considered.

Sister married your
lover.
Check.

The troll you’ve been
forced to work for, been tricked by, traded in for your sister,
and, oh, happens to be a big, grumbly, brutish lout, says you can’t
stay, yet you must come back after the week is up or he’ll hunt you
down.
Uh-huh. Cross that off the
list.

Wow. Will the crap storm
never end?
I wondered.
Or will I always be defecated on by life’s little
surprises?

“
Dunno,” Troll shrugged his
massive shoulders, “better figure it out, though. Gettin’ too late
to find ye way if ye wait too long. That stone willna be glowin’
for ye forever, ye know.”

A moment of panic hit me,
and then surprise, following closely on its heels, shocking me that
I could be so upset at the idea of leaving
this
place, the home of my captor,
and now, as I’m indebted to him for the rest of my life,
my
home.

The panic I felt was real and growing,
swelling as the reality of my situation sank in. Much as I didn’t
want to admit it, I needed him now.

“
You can’t be serious?” I
pinched my lips shut when it came out high and squeaky,
distressed.

The troll who’d ruined my
life is the only one I can count on now for shelter. After how
things went at home, I’m now on my own.
Not that I’d go back, even if I could.
Sadly, Troll’s all I have left.

Where will I go if I can’t
stay here? What will I do?

I have no money, no place
to go, no one who I could count on to help me. If what Mamma was
thinking is true, and I know it is, I’d be shunned by all, for
sure.
All those women I’d known at the
market place? Gone. I’m friendless.
The
people of the small village I’d lived in my whole life, while eager
enough to help a fellow neighbor, were quick to judge and quick to
follow. After knowing what sort of fate befell me, they’d all stand
by idly and watch me die before they’d extend a helping
hand.

“
As a heart
attack.”

“
I have nowhere else to
go!” I cried, hopping up as I paced nervously in front of the spot
I’d taken across the fire from him.

The bucket I’d turned upside down to
sit on fell to the floor with a loud clank, clattering noisily as
it rolled.

“
Not me problem, nugget.”
Troll snorted and wiped his mouth off on his arm before he went
back to his supper. A pained look crossed his sullen features but
he hid it.

“
How can you be so
heartless?” I railed. “Don’t you have any compassion in you at
all?”

“
Go back home,” he grumbled
around a mouthful of bread, “isna tha’ what ye been belly achin’
‘bout for, eh? Go back ta them, then, hmm?”

I didn’t answer, my shoulders slumping
as I stared off into the fire.

“
Well, I’m done.” Troll
tossed his meat-picked bone into the fire, stuffing the last bit of
his bread in his mouth before standing up, swallowing and chugging
his ale to wash it all down. “Best get on wit’ ya, nugget. Go an’
let ‘em kiss yer ass fer bein’ maggots, as I be wantin’ ta guess
they did. Dinna forgive ‘em, but let ‘em talk ye inta stayin’.”
Orange eyes glowing, he tossed his head at me and smirked. “Have a
bit of a laugh at their expense when ye’re alone, eh? An’ dinna
forget, tis only ‘til week’s end, an’ no more.”

“
I can’t go back!” I
bellowed to his retreating back. “I can’t ever go back! I’m done,
and I won’t.”

He stopped and slowly rolled his
shoulders. “Oh? That so?”

“
Yes.” I scooted a little
closer, bringing us only a few feet apart.

“
An’ what ye be wantin’ me
ta do ‘bout it?”

“
Well, I… I, uh… nothing. I
just want to stay here.”

He barked out a laugh and chuffed, “Ye
be wantin’ ta stay here? An’ wit’ me an’ all?”

I swallowed my pride and stiffened my
spine, staring a hole through the back of his thick, short neck.
More often than not, I wanted to wrap my hands around that thick
muscled bit of flesh and wring it.

“
I don’t have anyone else.
I…” I fisted my hands, gripping them together tightly until I
thought they might crack and bleed. “You’re all I have left,”
pausing, I let out a big breath and forced myself to continue,
“just please, I need…”

“
Ye be willin’ ta make a
trade, then?”

“
A trade? For what? To
stay? To come do as you say, day in and day out, or
else?”

Troll bristled as he turned his head
enough to watch me through the corner of his eye. Apparently, my
distress didn’t warrant his full attention.

“
A trade fer ye ta stay in
me home, when yer arse isna welcome.” His voice had gone deeper
than gravelly deep.

I knew that tone. I’d struck a nerve
in the lumbering, thick, grey skinned, demonic eyed troll I was
just moments ago trying to plead with to let me stay.

Maybe it was the mention of a deal, as
my wounds related to the mere mention of a trade of some kind felt
so fresh still, so open and raw, or maybe it was because I was just
getting so tired of all the one-sidedness of my life, tit but no
tat, this but not that, either way—I snapped.

“
Or else you might choke
me?” I went on. “Again? Or throw me in the river? Again? Trick me
and trade me for my worthless sister, again?”

Troll growled low and angry. “Ye best
be keepin’ yer tongue, dafty. I’m no’ in the mood.”

“
Really?” I laughed
bitterly, chucking my meat into the oddly flamed fire, listening to
it crackle and hiss before it poofed in a cloud of smoke and
disappeared, sparkly bits drifting about everywhere. “Because, damn
it, neither am I!”

Troll gripped the doorway to his
sleeping quarters, squeezing it in his hand until a chunk of it
broke off, crumbling to earth and dust as he ground it in his meaty
palm.

Hissing under his breath, he sprinkled
the bits of red cave wall all over the floor, staring off at
something as he closed his eyes.

“
A deal,
Daphie-who-ever-tha-fuck-ye-go-by. Ye want ta stay? Fine.” He
turned slowly and motioned me forward, his face as hard as granite.
“A stay fer a… stay.” With a jerk of his head, he gestured towards
the pallet he made up for himself, just beyond the other room. “Ye
warm me bed, ye get wha’ ye be wantin’. I’ll let ye
stay.”

My eyes widened and my lips parted.
Staring after him, I felt my fingers slacken in disbelief, flopping
to my sides.

He can’t mean…

I shook my head, as if to rid it of
such a stupid idea, but he nodded, orange eyes focused solely on me
as he stared me down, crossing his massive arms over his thick
chest as he waited me out. The look in his eyes dared me to argue,
dared me to counter him, but I didn’t, couldn’t.

I’d never felt more like an
object,
a tool
to
be used, in my life. Objectified.

His lips thinned across his wide
mouth, and his ears twitched, the bent cartilage at the ends,
turning in to curve down over the tops like a dogs, swiveling at
the tips as if he was a cow batting away an annoying
fly.

“
I’d rather roll with the
pigs you seemed to find so repugnant.” The backs of my eyes stung
at his crass proposal, a sharp pain invading my chest as my blood
ran cold.

Will I ever be more than
just a convenience to anyone? More than a warm body? Or a working
body, to do so and so’s bidding?

Troll’s chest vibrated with a deep
grumble of displeasure, his back stiff and unyielding. The markings
along his skin looked darker in the dim light cast by the steadily
burning fire, more prominent, lighting an eerie blue.

Speaking of fires, his eyes were
spitting at me hotly, burning me with the intensity of one, licking
with black tendrils, he was so mad. I found myself staring at them
fixedly, feeling oddly detached and lightheaded, as if I was doing
and seeing things all on my own, but unable to put together it was
me actually doing it.

Maybe it was the stress of it all, or
maybe it was the feeling of being shit on one too many times for
one’s liking or lifetime, but it was his next words, I felt,
crumbling the last of my resolve not to lose it, that broke
me.

“
Ye know me answer then.
So, get the fuck out.”

“
You selfish…” I gestured
around me wildly, “greedy…” I stuttered, stomping my foot and
trying to find the right words.

He just raised a brow and offered,
“Troll?”

“
If there ever was a word
that existed, worse than that, then that, you troll, that’s what
you are!!” It was a weak declaration, at best, but it was filled
with conviction, rife with emotion.

Face an unyielding mask, he didn’t
react.

I found myself oddly
deflated all of the sudden, as if I’d popped—
defeated.

“
Done, then, nugget? Yes?
Alright.” He nodded as if I’d answered him. “I’ll be seein’ ye at
week’s end, then.” And with that, he left me standing there, all
alone, by myself, the sudden emptiness of the room
deafening.

Kick Rocks

On heavy legs, I walked as if in a
haze, scanning the room for what I needed.

Troll was snoring loudly from his
room, the sounds of a male asleep, snoring and mumbling, tossing
and turning followed by the occasional passing of gas, giving me
proof he was out cold.

I peeked up at the horizon as I
grunted, hefting my load and walking carefully out of the cave,
rounding the corner on bare feet, the mud and the muck squishing
beneath my toes.

It felt oddly good,
freeing.