The Titans (25 page)

realize-was Momentarily taken aback, Louis softened a little. "I've never heard such shameful ingratitude!" "Well, I'm sorry!" Louis retorted-more angry than apologetic; Bitterly, Michael said, "Let's not debate my humanitarianism. I accepted the responsibility Mrs. A gave me. I did it without hesitation-was He faced Louis, his look murderous. "Because she was kind to me. Because I loved her. The subject's dosed." Louis tried to smile. "I'm glad. My mother has nothing to do with the present discuss-was "She has everything to do with it!" Rothman insisted. "She believed the Kents stood for something. Honor! Principle! Your sole concern seems to be financial gain." 342The Girl I Left Behind Me "Oh?" Louis was contemptuous. "That's different from yours? You don't approve of the Stovall Works supplying steel for Northern armament factories?" Rothman stammered, "Naturally I believe in supporting-was "I see. It's making money from your belief that you object to." "You're twisting my words-was "Bullshit" "You-was The banker mopped his forehead. "You just don't understand. The profit's incidental. I'd give Stovall steel away if it would bring the war to a speedy end-was "I wouldn't." "That's because the costs you care about show up in a ledger, not a burial ground. You'll never face a Confederate musket! You'll stay safe and secluded in this baronial palace-was "Joshua, you're getting pretty fucking personal!" "I have a right to get personal! My family and yours have been close for almost eighty-five years! I'm not averse to making money-not even by supplying materiel to the Union. I am averse to unprincipled speculation that could prolong the war instead of comshorten it I don't want profits at the price of dead bodies!" Louis didn't answer immediately. He was breathing hard. Michael glanced at Israel, who was still leaning on the mantel, a queer expression on his face. His eyes rested on Amanda's son. He might have been gazing at excrement. At last Louis collected his thoughts: "Again, Joshua-your argument's emotional. Based on faulty assumptions. Any student of the Southern temperament knows those people will fight as long and as harcf as they can. They're tough. They believe in their cause. Why shouldn't we take advantage of that situation?" The Titans343 "Because we're supposed to believe in something, fool We-was Rothman swayed; gasped for air. Michael rushed to catch him. A feeble motion of the banker's hand rebuffed the help. His voice faint, he said: "I believe I should retire. The discussion has gotten somewhat out of hand." Louis gripped Rothman's arm. "My fault." The apology sickened Michael because he knew it was false. He turned away. I failed you, Mrs. A. But you had doubts about him, too. While you were trying to take Kent and Son away from Stovall, you said you'd done some things that set Louis a bad example. He leaned on the mantel beside the immobile, somehow frightening Israel Hope. Forgive me if I put part of the blame on you. Taking it all on myself hurts too much. "Please do retire if you feel like it," Louis went on. Unsteadily, Rothman started for the door. "comtaxing trip. A lot to drink. Trust you gentlemen will forgive me-was Naturally Louis answered for all of them: "Of course." "I-I'll want to think this over-was Rothmanfs voice kept growing weaker. "I don't know whether-whether I can go along with-was "Do think it over," Louis interrupted. "The decision's yours." Cordially, he delivered the killing stroke: "I'm sure many other banks would be happy to handle the Kent business." "I don't have any thinking to do." The harsh sound of Israel's voice made Rothman stop and peer with watering eyes. What he'd been through-what they'd all realized about Louis in the past few minutes-seemed to add ten years to his age. 344The Girl I Left Behind Me "You want a new manager for the Ophir Company," Israel said. "You want him at once. I resign." Louis shot out his hand. "Oh, Israel, for God's sake-was The mulatto stepped back. Michael honestly thought he might attack the younger man. But, very formally, and with immense control, he bowed: "I thank you for the excellent dinner and the hospitality at your table. My wife and I will go back to the city now. If you'll be so kind as to call the carriage-was Louis looked thunderstruck. Israel's decision actually broke through his hard veneer. He attempted to save the situation: "I'll feel very badly if you and Clotilde leave. I'll feel ten times worse if you go ahead with this idiotic resignation-was Punctilious in spite of his rage, Israel said, "There's no going ahead. I have resigned. I don't want any more to do with this family-what's left of it, that is. I expect to receive my wages and my share of the mine profits to date. You know the correct address in California." Louis" face darkened again. His mouth twisted: "What do you plan to do? Become a carpenter again? Grub with your hands?" "Yes, sir," Israel whispered. "The way I did when I helped your mother put up the tavern in Yerba Buena. The way your great-grandfather did when he dirtied his fingers with ink at his print shop. Dirt on the hands is better than dirt on the soul." Another polite bow. "Mr. Boyle-Mr. Rothman- it's been a pleasure to meet you." He paused at the door, addressing Louis. "Don't trouble yourself to say goodbye. Just have the carriage ready." "Of all the stubborn, unrealistic-was Slam. The door vibrated Louis' mouth hung open. He The Titans345 poured more brandy, then whirled suddenly and hurled the snifter at the hearthstone. Michael and Rothman dodged the flying splinters. Louis ran a hand over his hair. Tried to relieve the tension with a weak smile: "Well, that was certainly a mistake. I mean inviting him to be present during our talk. I really did it as a matter of courtesy, since he manages the source of the income we'll be using for the Chicago operation-was "He comwas the manager," Michael corrected. Louis waved. "He'll change his mind when he's calmed down." "No, Louis. Not every man in the world is for sale. You'd better call the carriage." Rothman wiped his forehead. "I'm going to bed." The words were barely audible. "And I'm going to have a drink," Michael said. "In my room." "I'll send Wicks up with bourbon-was Louis began. The Irishman stared at him. Such a handsome, splendid figure in his evening attire. Composed again, he strolled to the hearth. He kicked at a shard of glass. The way he kicks aside every bit of opposition, Michael thought I've got to get out of here before I kill him. "Please do," he said. "I want to toast the success of Federal Suppliers." "Oh, Christ! Don't be snide. You two have blown the whole issue out of proportion!" He hit the mantel with his fist. "Why can't you get it through your heads? Hundreds of firms will be trading with the South!" "That may be so," Michael whispered. "But I stand with Joshua. I'll have no part in profiteering at the expense of human lives." Louis Kent's black eyes pierced him: "Then you're not for sale either?" "Not to you. Good night, Louis. w 346The Girl I Left Behind Me He followed Rothman out, his step almost as erratic as the banker's. The mellow Tennessee bourbon Louis sent to his room didn't help. Nothing helped. He drank; paced; drank, swore and kept drinking- an hour and more. What could he do to stop Louis? Nothing. What could Joshua Rothman do except refuse to act as the Kents' banker? For each of them, only an ineffectual, essentially negative response was possible. For a long time Michael stared out the window at the silver and shadow of the lawn and the moon-tipped trees beyond the Hudson. He heard the carriage depart with Israel and his wife. Finally, sick of the house and aware that he was not only drunk but also miserably wide awake, he left his room, prowled down through the darkened entrance hall and went outside. With the passing of the storm, the air had cooled. He'd discarded his coat and cravat, though he still wore his vest and starched evening shirt. He wandered toward the end of the gigantic house whose spires and turrets glowed under the high moon. God, what a relief to escape the poisoned air inside. He savored the wholesome smell of wet earth and grass. He stumbled through a flower bed and made his way around to the back of the mansion to the two-story stable where he caught the scent of straw and manure and the horses. He walked on, passing a pergola. On the far side, he started down the lawn to the dark trees edging the bluff at one side of the cleared area. The Titans347 He'd gone only a few steps when he thought he heard a sound. He looked back. The pergola's diamond-shaped lattices spread their shadows across the silvery grass at the top of the slope. The shadows faded as a cloud crossed the moon. He blinked, fancying he'd seen a different kind of shadow moving behind the pergola just before it darkened. Only imagination, he decided. He wandered on to the comforting gloom of the trees. The branches rattled in the light wind. He sank down and rested his back against rough bark. The breeze dried the sweat on his face. The liquor kept him warm-though it did nothing to relieve his feelings of rage and impotence. Soon the damp ground began to soak the seat of his trousers. He rose, lurched forward, tripped over a root and blundered into a fern that spattered him with water. At the edge of the bluff, he gazed down at the tranquil, faintly iridescent river- And heard another sound. He spun to peer through the trees. He wasn't imagining this time. Someone was moving on the lawn- He sucked in a swift breath. The moving shadow was that of a woman. Her gown belled around her feet as she ran toward him. Her hair streamed behind her, suddenly moonlit as the cloud passed. Surprised and uneasy, he felt obliged to hail her: "Julia?" "Yes. I can't see you, Michael-was "I'm down by the bluff. Be careful, the grass is slippery." She made it without a fall, vanishing for a moment among the trees. When she emerged and hurried to his side, she was breathing rapidly. She'd put on a heavy night robe. Dark fur trimmed 348The Girl I Left Behind Me the collar and cuffs. He experienced a sharp sense of danger as Julia's pale face turned up toward his. She clutched his arm for support: "You're right about the grass. I nearly fell twice." His mouth tasted stale. His head felt heavy. He was a little dizzy. He'd consumed all the bourbon-half a decanter. He should have been relaxed. But he wasn't. The feeling of danger persisted. He tried to banter: "Bit damp for a stroll, isn't it?" "How could I possibly sleep? Louis stormed into his bedroom swearing like old Vanderbilt. He bolted himself in-he wouldn't answer my knocks. Then I heard someone prowling-was "Me, probably. I couldn't sleep either." "I gathered as much when I looked into the hall. Your door was open and the lamps were lit. Michael, you must tell me what happened. Why is Louis so upset?" "(ft-was He was careful; he didn't trust her. "We had a rather heated conversation about business, thaf s all." "I should say it must have been heated! When I came downstairs, Wicks was just going back to bed. He said Mr. Hope and his nigger wife had left in a huff." "No, in the carriage." She stamped her foot. "Don't try to be clever! I want to know why they left." He sighed. "Ask Louis. Preferably in the morning. Things always seem more out of joint when it's dark and everyone's tired." Julia folded her arms across her small breasts. "That won't do. Louis tells me only what he wishes to tell me. You know how stubborn he can be." "God, yes! Still-any explanations should come from him. He is your husband-was "You sound so bitter." "Do I? Sincere apologies." The Titans349 He moved-away from her, raking fingers through his rust-colored hair. To be alone with her made him uncomfortable. All at once a tiny suspicion stole into his thoughts. Leaving the house to follow him was a definite indiscretion. Had she done it solely to find out what had taken place in the library? He studied her eyes. The moon lent them a gem-like luster that stirred his loins. "Julia, I believe you'd better go back. If you stay here you'll catch grippe or worse." "My bed clothes are thin, but my cloak's very warm." Leave, he said to himself. Leave now. There is more to it than curiosity about me quarrel- "Then I'll go." He started past her, fighting the damnable physical reaction her presence caused. She caught his hand, swept it around her waist, pressed her back against his chest "Don't leave until you tell me." She leaned back, her head touching his shoulders. Her hair smelled sweeter than the spring grass. Murmuring, she went on: "Louis won't. You're my only hope. You can't refuse me. You're kind-a quality we both know Louis lacks. I-I've always admired that about you, Michael-was He wanted to laugh. Game-playing again. Damn you, Michael Boyle-you know what she's doing. Are you so weak that you'll stand and permit it? He was. Her head was motionless against his shoulder, her eyes fixed on the western sky above the Hudson. "I know you probably don't believe I admire you-was "Truthfully, no." He still didn't move. "But it's true!" She whirled, standing quite close. He sensed the warmth of her body. "I wish you'd be my friend. I wish you'd do as I ask and explain what-was 350The Girl I Left Behind Me "Nol" Michael said, seizing her comarms. Too late, he realized his mistake. The physical contact only roused him all the more. He hardened his voice: "Ask Louis." Her face was tflted up toward his. The moon set her eyes afire, hiding whatever thoughts those eyes might reveal. She seemed so small; fragile; needing protection- Be careful! "All right." She sounded sad. "But at least you don't have to speak so roughly. I'm terribly upset because I know there's been trouble and I can't discover the reason. You are my only hope. Michael, I-was She seemed to rise on her toes. Her mouth-the mouth that had pressed his with such surprising passion earlier in the day-was very near. She whispered: "I need you to be my friend. I have no one else. I don't want anyone else-was Gently, she kissed him. His self-control shattered. He circled her waist with his arms, pulled her against him and kissed her as she was begging to be kissed The damp spring air-the interplay of moon and slow-moving tree branches-her seeming sadness all conspired against him. Her lips were warm and wet Unmistakably, she felt him through her robe. Her hands stole up to his face. Her palms caressed him. She opened her mouth. Their tongues touched. Shuddering, she thrust even closer, one of her hands tangled in his hair- Then, abruptly, she ended it. Her small, surprisingly strong hands closed on his forearms and pushed him back: "Michael, we mustn't-was The moonlight showed him her eyes. Not alarmed. Amused- The Titans351 Enraged, he wrenched free, grabbed her and pulled her toward the trees. She struggled: "No, darling. We've gone too far
already-was "The hell we have." "Michael-was She wrenched hard, escaping his hands. "I'm a married woman!" "I see," he said. "The hunt's over. The trophy's claimed" "What in heaven's name do you mean?" "You know very well." "I certainly do not, I-was Drunk and angry, he lunged and caught her again. "Let go of me!" "No, by God. We're not finished just yet. You shouldn't have started the game, Julia, because now we're going to play it to the end." "Michael, I beg you, let g-ahh backslash was She cried out as he jerked her up against his body. He took satisfaction from the fright in her eyes; from her wild pleading: "Michael, I wasn't myself-I didn't intend to lead you on-was "Of course you did. You got exactly what you wanted. And a bit more than you bargained for-was "What-what are you going to do?" Her effort at sarcasm was tinged with terror: "What slum boys do when they want a woman? Commit rape-?" "Call it anything you please." He swept one arm beneath her legs; lifted her. She was no match for his strength. He spun and climbed toward the trees with long, savage strides. "Oh, God," she whispered against his throat. "You're cruel, you're an animal-was "No more than you, my dear." Among the trees where no light penetrated, he 352The Girl I Left Behind Me dammed her on her feet Branches clacked in the wind. A night creature scuttled away in the underbrush. "Michael, I'm warning you-was He couldn't see her face. But her voice conveyed her desperation. "I'll tell Louis." He chuckled. "I don't think so. He'd give you worse punishment than you're going to get from me." Using both hands, he tore her robe outward and down; tore the flimsy lace-edged fabric beneath at the same time. His eyes had accustomed themselves to the dark. Her face was a dim white ovaLike Her bared breasts looked black at the tips. Breathing hard, he cupped his hands around those breasts. Closed his fingers slowly. He didn't want to hurt her- Not too much. vi He took her on the damp ground, her robe thrown open beneath her and her lace gown a tangle above her At first she was rigid. She beat at him with small, hard fists. He kept his mouth on hers so she wouldn't cry out Then, in the midst of his deliberately brutal assault, something changed. He felt it first where their bodies joined. Her fists opened. One arm curved around his neck. She tried to match his motion, not fight against it He was surprised when he heard her groan. She strained closer, uttering throaty, pleading cries- It was too late. He stood up, attending to his clothing. She twisted from side to side, moaning still louder: The Titans353 "Ohhh. Ohhh-was He didn't know whether she was feeling pain or desire. Nor did he care. "Good night, Julia," he said, wheeling away and striding through the grove toward the lawn. He was vaguely ashamed of what he'd done. The shame lingered and grew sharper when he was back in his room, sobering fast. But mingled with the shame, there was pleasure. vii An hour before dawn, still dressed in his formal suit and lugging his hastily packed portmanteau, Michael left the house a second time. He encountered no one until he wakened the groom in the stable. By lantern light, the two of them proceeded to the second floor room where Joel was spending the night. Joel and the groom hitched up the horse. As gray light began to whiten the eastern face of the house, the carriage wheeled from the drive and was soon careening through the muddy ruts in the We/chester forest. Michael slumped on the seat, drained. His eyes itched. He was unable to get the stale taste out of his mouth-nor the feel of Julia's body out of his thoughts. Chilly air gusted through the open window. He tried to analyze his confused state of mind. He hadn't departed suddenly, and without announcement, because he feared repercussions from Louis. He'd meant what he'd told Julia. He doubted she'd ever say anything about the- What's fhe term for it? he asked himself sourly. Semi- rape? Even if they'd been detected-if Louis or a servant had accidentally glimpsed one or both of them on the 354The Girl I Left Behind Me lawn-he wasn't concerned. Suppose Louis did come after him with a cane, a horsewhip-even a pistol. It might be a relief. At least he'd have a chance of winning that kind of contest. Whereas in the battle waged with words in Kentland's library, he'd been defeated and left without further options. The carriage bounced and jolted him. Completely sober, he finally admitted he was running away from something other "than the hopeless struggle with Amanda's son. He was running from himself-and his feelings about Julia. He knew what kind of woman she was. She'd made that clear again down by the river. He'd hoped to teach her a lesson; show her she couldn't sport with him; lead him just so far, then call a halt But she'd won after all. As the terrible light of day revealed the woods, so his own mind revealed the long- buried truth. Even though Julia Kent was despicably flawed, during those moments when they'd moved together in passion-and long before-he'd wanted her. He squinted against the wind. Stared at the woods slipping by. Self-deception wasn't possible any longer. She was beautiful-and he'd envied Louis for possessing her: All this time you were so careful Ignoring her sly invitations. Refusing to play her game. Not because you despised her but because, secretly, you wanted to succumb- Added to the rupture that had taken place in the library, it was an impossible situation. So he was fleeing back to New York. But what peace could he find there? He couldn't persuade Louis to abandon that damned dummy company in Chicago. He had no power to force him to do it. And he couldn't see Julia again. For the sake of his own sanity, he didn't dare. Trapped. The Titans. 355 Doubly trapped- With no way out. The carriage sloshed through standing water. Mud splattered against the side, the sound rousing him a little. The first brilliant orange sunlight speared between the trees. He remembered what day it was- Saturday. There was something he could do to escape. viii Shortly after two o'clock that afternoon, Michael approached the steps of the brownstone residence at 129 Fifth Avenue, between Nineteenth and Twentieth. The April sun shone. He had made two previous stops. One on Beekman Street and, prior to that, at old Still Patrick's, on Mulberry just north of Prince. His progress along the row of handsome houses was impeded by a crowd that had gathered for yet another parade. He recognized the uniforms of the rough- looking men marching by. They were Fire Zouaves, recruited from the brawlers who manned the city's volunteer pump companies. A crony of Lincoln's, one Colonel Ellsworth, a patent attorney from Chicago, had set out on a personal campaign to whip up enthusiasm for the type of military uniform the French had copied from the Berbers during some forgotten war in Algeria. Outside Number 129, Michael paused to watch. The New York Fire Zouaves swaggered along in ballooning red trousers, short, tight-fitting blue jackets and scarlet sashes. Their muskets were canted carelessly over their shoulders. Most of the men carried Bowie knives. Each wore a red fez. He heard drums. Their band, a block away- 356The Girl I Left Behind Me "They gonna ship you boys to Washington by rail?" a spectator shouted. One of the Fire Zouaves bawled back, "Sure as hell hope so. We'll go through Baltimore like a dose of salts!" Cheers and applause. Each Zouave walked at his own pace. No one acted concerned, least of all the officers. Many of them were busy conversing with young ladies along the parade route. The thumping drums grew louder. The horns blared suddenly, brassy and assertive. The melody seemed a cruel comment on his own wretchedness- The band was playing "The Girl I Left Behind Me." The crowd went wild as the band drew closer. The music became a painful din. Against it, he heard the words he'd spoken in the shadowy church he hadn't visited in far too long- Bless me, father, I have sinned. A mortal sin. Adultery. Well, he would do his penance. But he would go beyond the prescribed Hail Marys, the Our Fathers, the Act of Contrition. He'd do a penance that would free him of the futile fight with Louis Kent; a penance that would help absolve him of the guilt springing from the feelings about Julia which he'd finally acknowledged- And would absolve another guilt as well. He climbed the steps of Number 129. Knocked. A rosy-faced Irish girl answered. "Is the master at home?" "Mr. Townsend?" He'd forgotten the man he wanted to see lived with his properous father-in-law. "I'm sorry-I mean Mr. Meagher." "In the parlor, sir. Who shall I say is-?" Michael hurried by without answering. Thirty-eight year old Thomas Meagher rose from