The Ties that Bind (Kingdom) (22 page)

Even if you set aside Nixon’s threats of exposing me I would have still taken you back. I married you, I treated your daughter as my own, loved her, and took care of her because she was a part of you.

Then M.J. came along. I still remember the day he was born. I thought my heart was going to explode, I was so happy.

When I got the call that my son was dead, drowned in our own pool, all I could ask was where my wife was, where was his mother when it happened? Then I found out that she had left an eight-year-old child in sole charge of a toddler while she was in the house with a man. While my child was dying, his mother was nowhere to be found!”

“Mason, she explained what had happened. It was an accident.”

“I know what happened, Stephen. My son is dead, so yes, I know what happened!” Mason shouted.

“I’m truly sorry, Mason, but I have to let it go. I have to start forgiving myself.”

“Well I’m glad you can do that, Taryn, because I don’t know if I can.”

Taryn could feel her temper begin to boil. While she didn’t expect him to immediately acquiesce to her appeal for forgiveness, she hadn’t expected him to sound so resolute in his rejection of her apology.

“What about me, Daddy? Do you forgive me?” For much of the conversation that had been taking place, Hope had remained silent. “You told me that my mother blamed me for M.J.’s death, and I believed you. Is that why you turned me against my mother because you don’t just hold her responsible, but me as well?”

Taryn couldn’t stop the tears from falling. Hope sounded so dejected, beaten down, and they were the ones who had done it to her.

“For God’s sake, Hope, you are not a child!”

“I know, but I was when it happened. Mom was sleeping all the time, and you looked at me as though you wished it were me who had died instead of, M.J.”

Mason hesitated a moment too long before he attempted to give Hope his reassurance that she was wrong in her assessment of the situation.

“Why can’t you at least try to forgive them, Mason?”

“What?”

“You heard me, is it because you can’t forgive yourself?”

“You are here by my good grace, Stephen, and I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Mason said, dismissing Steve.

“That’s where you’d be wrong. I’m a grand master at forgiveness. I’ve been doing it nearly my whole life.

You see, Mason, if you don’t learn to forgive maybe one day you’ll wake up in a hotel room disgusted with yourself, and start wondering how you allowed pride or self-loathing to ruin your life.”

“You all want the truth so much, huh? Well this is the truth. I don’t forgive you, Taryn, because yes I blame you for the death of my son. His daughter is still alive, and my son is dead! As for you, Hope, sometimes I blame you too. Why couldn’t you just have done as you were told? If you had just done what you had been told, none of this would have happened!”

“I always knew you blamed me, Daddy. I could tell. The way you treated me after M.J. died changed. I got anything I wanted. I even remember that one occasion when Mom was lucid and tried to stop you. Sometimes I could see you in the mirror or I’d glance back, and you’d have that look on your face. The one that told me that by getting what I wanted you were actually punishing me and my mother.”

“Hope, I’m so sorry.”

“You said that already, Mom. As someone told me not too long ago, it’s time to stop saying you’re sorry. It’s time, for all of us to let our little boy go so he can rest in peace. We, all of us, need to take responsibility for what we’ve done, how we’ve acted, the part we played all those years ago. We need to let M.J. go.”

In that moment, Taryn couldn’t have been prouder of her child. Despite having her, and Mason for parents, it looked as though her daughter was going to be okay.

“That’s all very well and good. I’m glad that the two of you have finally found your
Zen
. Well what about me in all of this? Who did I have to turn to? What about me, when was I supposed to mourn the loss of my child when I had the two of you to take care of?”

“Now, Mason. Mourn his loss now. I let you down in so many ways, and if you will let me I’ll try to make it up to you. But you have to let the past go.” Taryn pleaded with him.

“What if I can’t? What if too much has happened?”

“Why are you still here, Mason, a part of this family?” Steve asked.

“I... because I... because I love these women. But sometimes I hate them so much it takes everything within me to remain sane.” When he finished speaking, Mason wiped his balled up fist against his mouth, seeming almost to be rubbing away a bitter taste.

“Thank you.”

“For what?” Mason asked his wife, unsure of the meaning of her words of gratitude.

“For having the courage to say that out loud because most of the time I feel the same way.”

As her parents looked over at her, Hope could only nod her head, and sigh that she too felt the same way as them. She too had issues of blame. But Taryn was grateful that at last her family issues were finally out in the open. They had a long way to go, but finally they had all placed at least one foot on the same path that could lead to recovery.

Chapter 23

As Steve cut the engine to the car, Hope grew nervous. They hadn’t said a word to each other on the drive over to her condominium.

“Well this isn’t what you signed up for is it?”

“What did I sign up for, Hope?”

“Not all this family drama, I’m sure.”

“I’ve been through worse.” Steve said without changing his tone.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s not my story to tell. But I was there and trust me, it was much worse than what I experienced tonight. Let me turn the table back on you, what did I sign up for, Hope?”

Still unsure why he was asking her the same question again, Hope’s fear intensified. To her, Steve seemed different. More watchful, it was as though he were taking in every aspect of her, summing her up. The atmosphere was so intense that Hope knew that this was her last chance with this man and if she miscalculated he would be lost to her forever.

As she had processed her thoughts, she realized that she had taken too long to respond. Steve was already out of the car and on his way around to open her door. Looking at his face, she saw that the expression of intensity he had worn moments before was gone. In its place was the look of disconnection she was beginning to recognize.

As they rode the elevator to her condo, Hope wracked her brain for something to say, something that would alter the tension that now existed between them.

“Thank you.”

Steve didn’t pretend to misunderstand her. “You’re welcome.”

Reaching her apartment, Hope fished out her key, ready to unlock the door, yet at the same time reluctant to see him go.

Steve took the key from her after her third attempt at inserting it into the lock. Opening the door, he held out the key, dropping it into her palm, gently closing her fingers around its metallic coldness.

“Do you want to come in?”

He didn’t answer right away, and Hope could see he was thinking carefully.

“No, I don’t think so." Steve said with a slight bow of his head.  "Good night, Hope.”

As he turned and walked away, each step taking him further and further away from her, Hope experienced an almost overwhelming sense of desperation. It was almost as though he were walking away from her for good.

“Steve!” Hope called. She didn’t know what she wanted to say, but she knew she needed to delay his departure. When he turned and looked at her, she became tongue-tied, feeling foolish.

“Ah... when will I see you again?”

Her question seemed to stop him in his tracks. Hope watched as Steve came striding back towards her. Reaching out a long arm, he pulled her close. Lowering his head, Steve placed his lips against hers. It wasn’t the kind of kiss she was used to receiving from him. The gentle touch of his mouth didn’t speak of the sparks that normally flew between them. Rather it spoke of a period of renewal. They also had their own path to travel and this gentle display of affection, she hoped, was a sign that they had taken their first step on it together.

Lifting his head, Steve looked into Hope's eye, his gaze still questioning. When she saw the slight rise of the sides of his mouth, his smile, Hope’s heartbeat increased. For the first time in weeks, she began to believe in the possibility that she might still have a chance with this man.

“I’m only as far as the end of the phone. If you want me, all you have to do is pick it up.”

With one last kiss, this time firmer than its predecessor, Steve was gone.

Chapter 24

Steve knew he could hold his own in the cyber world, but the information he needed required more skill than he possessed. There was only one person he felt he could trust with helping him to gather it, Jason.

Steve didn’t think twice about going over to the house unannounced. Jason was usually at home at this time of day, locked away in his office, taking care of his stocks and share interests.

Pushing open the door to Jason’s office, Steve saw that his assumption was correct. Jason sat behind his desk, one leg propped up on the desk with his eyes glued to one of the many computer screens that surrounded him.

It came as no surprise to Steve that Jason’s eyes locked on him as soon as he stepped through the door. No doubt he had been alerted the moment the main gate had been opened.

“Jason.” Was all Steve said by way of a greeting.

“What’s up, man?”

“I need your help.”

“With what?”

“If you’ve got some time I’ll fill you in.”

“Take a seat.” Jason indicated the chair that faced his desk without changing his reclined position. “So, are we good?”

“Not really, or at least not yet. Your stubborn ass gets on my nerves, but recently, I’ve experienced some things that make me thankful that you’re who you are. At least I know who and what you are. I’ve given it some thought, and I accept that you don’t like Hope. While it doesn’t make me feel great, I suppose I understand where you’re coming from.”

“Thank you for that. What about your parents’ death?”

Steve didn’t pretend to misunderstand what Jason was asking. The last time they had spoken, he had allowed his anger to override him. He had thrown out accusations that although, on one hand, were unfair, he had needed to speak them. With hindsight, if he had the time to do over, he would have expressed himself in an entirely different way.

“I was mad at you at the time. But, Jason, I needed to say those words out loud. When they died I resented the hell out of you. Although you tried to keep it from me, when I found out those men were dead, I was glad. But for me it was too little too late. My parents were already gone.”

“I’m sorry, Steve. You of all people know that.” Jason’s words of apology were said without artifice.

Steve recognized that Jason’s words were spoken with a sincerity of heart few had the opportunity to see in him. Over the years, he had been angry with Jason on more occasions than he could remember. But through it all, he had always remembered he knew the core of him. Just as Jason knew who he was more than anyone else.

That was why he had felt no compunction in coming to the house to get Jason’s help. That’s what brothers did, they fought and then they made up. So here he was.

“I can’t lie, I’m still mad at you.”

“I know, but I can live with that for a while longer. So, what do you need?” Jason asked, bringing that part of their conversation to an end.

“Nixon Clemant.”

The name alone was enough for Jason to drop his legs to the ground on full alert.

“What about him?”

“You ever met the dude?”

“No, but I will.”

“Well I’ve had the displeasure, and he needs to be taught a lesson in humility. I know just how to do it. My problem is I don’t have the right skill set, or know those who do, to set the operation in place.”

By the time Steve came to an end, Jason’s eyebrows had lowered at the look of sheepish enjoyment Steve took from passing his comment.

“I know when I’ve just been called out for a thug, but I’ve decided not to take exception. Nixon Clement is my one remaining nemesis. The only person who stands between me and my total happiness. Until the way he treated Aviva’s mother is no longer a factor with her, my relationship is never going to reach the place where I want it to be. Whatever it takes, I’m in.”

Steve hadn’t realized that Jason had such strong feelings towards the man, but he was glad that he wouldn’t have to spend time convincing him of the older man’s true character.

“Speak.” Jason said with his usual arrogance.

That one word was enough for Steve to smile in remembrance. This way of saying just one word was how they had communicated as young men when they needed something important from the other. Back then there hadn’t been a need for long explanations or convincing. All that mattered was a brother was asking something of the other, and that was enough.

“Nixon has some documents in his position that I need to have in mine.”

“What documents?”

Steve hesitated, not wanting to disclose the content of the papers, but knew in order to achieve their retrieval, he would have to. Mason’s reputation was at stake, and if their content was made known, everything he was attempting to do would be counterproductive.

In the end, the question was simply did he trust Jason. His mind made up, Steve told him all about the documents Nixon held and that if their contents were to become a matter of public knowledge what it would mean to his reputation.

“The more I hear about this creep the more I want to get him out of all of our lives. It may surprise you, but I don’t know anyone with the skill set that we need to carry this out, but I know a man who does.”

The thought of bringing someone else in on this plan was disquieting to Steve. He knew Jason wouldn’t suggest someone he didn’t trust implicitly, but too much at stake for him not to worry.

“Who do you have in mind?”

“My brother.”

The mention of one of Jason’s brothers sent a shock of feeling through Steve. He had deliberately not given much thought to the appearance of Jason’s new family. For so long it had just been the two of them against the world.