The Three Lands Omnibus (2011 Edition) (96 page)

She spoke then, very softly. "Andrew, I've had bad dreams about my mother too for many years. Mine are about the manner in which I was begotten, though of course I didn't see it happen. When I wake from these dreams, it has always been a comfort to me to find myself beside John and know that he is there and that I can hold him until I stop being afraid. Would you like me to stay with you tonight?"
She intended to say more, but I jerked my hand away from her at these words and turned to face her on the bed. Startled, she did not speak as I said stiffly, "Ursula, I do not know what you are offering me when you say that. If you are telling me that I may sleep with you tonight as a brother sleeps with his sister, then I thank you. But if that is not what you mean—" She tried then to speak, and I held up my hand to stop her. "If you mean that I should sleep with you as a man sleeps with his lover, then you should know three things. One is that I have come to see you as a friend. The second is that I would not break my blood vow to John by making love to his wife. And the third thing— The third thing is that I could not if I wished to. I am—" I stumbled, looking for the words I would have prepared before, if I had not blinded myself to the necessity of this moment. "I am not capable of loving a woman as a man ought to. That power was taken from me when I was sold into slavery."
I thought at first that I had been too subtle and that I would have to explain further. Then she swallowed hard, and her eyes dropped. I waited, my heart beating, to see what her expression would be when she raised her eyes again. When she looked up, her gaze was as firm as John's, and her voice was gentle.
"Andrew," she said, "you know that the love of a man and his lover isn't the only strong love in this world. You love John, and you love the Chara – they are both your friends, beyond death. Why should you think that it would be any different for women? I have fallen in love and wished to be kissed and to be taken to a marriage-bed. But that isn't how I love you, and the love I have is no less powerful because of this."
I could not speak for a minute. Then I said, "Is it because John is my blood brother that you care for me?"
"Partly." Ursula bowed her head, and her hair fell down so that her face was hidden. She said, "Is it so hard for you to understand? I don't suppose many men can feel friendship toward a woman, but women often feel that way toward a man, whether the man knows it or not. What I feel for you is no different from what you feel for your blood brother."
I reached out and pushed back her dark hair from her eyes. She looked up silently. I asked her, "Is there such a thing as a blood sister?"
A smile trembled on her lips. "I've never heard of such a thing. In any case, I'm afraid of blades."
"Blood vows don't need blood to take place. I like the thought of gaining you as a sister, and if you'd like this as well, I could be your blood brother."
She moved suddenly, as though the great emotion she had been controlling was suddenly released, and her hands flung open in an eager gesture. "Andrew," she said breathlessly, "you've never asked me how I met John."
I waited, wondering what revelation would appear next. Her body swayed to and fro on the bed as she said, "I never knew my father, nor have I ever wanted to meet him, because he raped my mother during the Border Wars. After I was conceived, John found my mother and arranged for her to be cared for by the priests at their house. John cared for her as well, treating her as though she was his own mother. Then, when she died after I was born, he took me under his care, and I was like a younger sister to him. That has never changed." She paused, but I did not say anything, and so she continued, "Since we aren't truly brother and sister, we decided, when he first brought me to live with him in the city, that we must pretend to other people that we were married. So I've played the role of John's wife during this past year, though I've never loved him in that way, nor he me. I—" She hesitated, as though she were entering into dangerous ground, and then said carefully, "I'm capable of love of that sort, but I'm not sure that John is. He's like the priests, who never marry but dedicate their lives to the gods. I think also that his friendships are too powerful to allow him ever to form any other type of bond – especially his friendship with you. He told me several years ago that it was hard for him, not being able to help you when he cared for you so much. He told me—" Her movements stilled gradually, as though she were a fluttering bird that had come to rest on a branch. She said softly, "He said that was his first reason for taking care of me – that since he couldn't help you, he could at least help your sister."
I stared at her as she waited in silence for my reply. My training in silence overruled my voice, and I asked no questions but sat mutely, trying to understand what she had said. Into my mind drifted the image she had just given me, of John reaching out to help Ursula's mother, who had been left half-dead by a soldier. And beside it came a second image that had haunted me for so many years: John lying still next to the body of my mother, who had just been raped.
"She was alive," I whispered. "The soldier tried to kill her, but she lived. The soldier—"
I stopped abruptly. Ursula was once more hugging her knees. She stared at me silently with dark eyes, her pale face fringed with black hair. It was, I saw now, the face of my mother. But it was also the face of the Emorian soldier who had enslaved me.
I realized then why Ursula had not told me before.
I reached forward. As if I had had great practice in holding women, I slipped my arm around her waist and drew her head onto my shoulder. As she relaxed against my body, I whispered softly into her hair, "Sister, I will need courage tomorrow, and since the body supports the spirit, for courage I need sleep. I do not know what time we have left together in this dying land, but tonight, at least, I would like to spend with you."
 
CHAPTER NINETEEN
"You're sure that you know how to do it?" John asked.
The next morning had arrived. Leaving Ursula still sleeping, I had risen from my bed and wandered the corridor until I happened across the outside door. At that moment, a man entered, his eyes narrow and yellow, his face black, his teeth bared in a ferocious grin. Then his hand removed the mask, and I saw the tired face of John, returning at dawn from his night-prowl.
"Have no worries for me," I said, slipping back with no effort into my cold composure. "It has been a while now since I kept my thoughts from Peter, but not so long that I have forgotten how to be his equivocal servant. I know how to tell lies with the truth, and Peter trusts me enough that he will not guess what I am doing. He will not know what is afoot."
John smiled, a tired and somber smile. He slipped his mask into the trader's satchel where he kept it hidden by day. I paused at the threshold to the doorway, and then said quietly, "Thank you for taking care of Ursula for me."
John nodded. "I was wondering when she would get the courage to tell you. I'd tried to convince her that you wouldn't care if her father was a god-cursed demon, but you can see how she's treated in this land. It was hard for her to believe that you would love her despite her beginnings."
"She should not have feared," I said. "I know as well as she does what it is to be half Koretian and half Emorian. As long as the two lands remain at war with each other, those of us who have ties to both lands will always suffer. So we must see whether we can do anything to change that." With no further word, I turned and made my way down the mountainside toward the governor's palace.
I found the Chara alone on the balcony of his room, his eyes on the land before him. The morning sun was bringing sweat to his face and neck, and he had taken off his emblem brooch, perhaps in order to open his tunic to a slight breeze that had slid its way into the city. As I came to stand beside him, he said, "Do you remember when we looked out of Lord Carle's window and talked of the black border mountains? It's odd to see them from the other side and to know that our homeland lies back there." I said nothing, and after a moment Peter's eyes slid over toward me. He said easily, "I couldn't find you last night. I assumed that you must be staying overnight with John."
"John was away on business all last night," I said. "I was with Ursula."
Peter's eyes were suddenly guarded, for no reason that I could understand. But all that he said was, "I suppose I don't have to worry that you were causing trouble in this land by bedding your blood brother's wife."
That he should raise this topic puzzled me, but I knew better than to treat this as the insult it would have been if such words had come from Lord Carle. Deciding that it would be difficult to answer Peter's comment in any honest way, I said directly, "Chara, Ursula took me last night to see an old friend of mine who told me that he had information concerning the Jackal. He declined to send a message to you by me, saying that he must give the information to you himself. He asked me to bring you to see him, but alone and without anyone knowing where we are going."
Peter took this statement in, and then said, in a matter-of-fact manner, "Andrew, I know that you are skilled in diplomacy rather than military matters, but even you must know that such an arrangement usually leads to a trap."
"Chara . . ." My words failed. Then, gripping my courage as though I were plunging a dagger into my own heart, I said with sincerity, "This man was a close friend of mine, and I trust what he says. He explained enough to me that I know why it is he needs secrecy to give you the information you want. I cannot tell you what he said, but I can say this: on my oath as an Emorian, talking to him will not bring you to any harm, and I believe that it will be of help to Emor."
Peter looked once more toward the mountains, as though he were wishing he was back home. After a minute, he said, "Well, I trust you." He spoke the words casually, as though they need hardly be said. Then he added, "But I will wear two daggers, one openly and one in my thigh-pocket, in the manner of spies. You're a good judge of men, but even friends can betray, and I don't trust your old friend not to betray you."
I kept my eyes fixed on the mountainscape at the horizon as I said, "Can you come now? I have made arrangements for him to meet us."
"Yes, now is the appropriate time. The only reason I'm taking this risk – other than because you believe that the risk is worth it – is that I have desperate need of information. I haven't found here what I wish to know, and perhaps this friend of yours will be able to supply me with the information I'm seeking. But let me go first and see whether I can find Lord Carle. Don't worry," he added as I made a slight movement. "I'll say nothing to him of this. I want to make sure that he'll be safely hidden away with the governor this morning and won't notice our absence."
He left me, and I returned to the Chara's room. I found Peter's bony dagger first and set it aside. Then I brought out his leather thigh-pocket, which is hidden by being strapped to the leg under the tunic. I slid my fingers into the narrow confines of his thigh-pocket. The pocket was empty.
I kept the pocket covered with my hand as Peter returned. He paused and said with a smile, "This is like the old days, seeing you bring out my clothes again. My brooch must be around here somewhere. . . . Well, leave it for now. Did you find my thigh-dagger?"
"I have everything ready. Did you speak with Lord Carle?"
Peter shook his head and allowed me to lace on the thigh-pocket without bothering to check it himself. "He is nowhere to be found, but it's of no importance. If we can find the information I need, it won't matter how Lord Carle spends his morning. Thank you," he added, as I clipped his bony dagger to his belt. "You ought to wear a weapon yourself, this once."
"I have little experience in using a blade," I replied. "If we find ourselves in danger, I will borrow one of your daggers."
"And will suddenly learn how to fight, in that case," Peter said. "Fear and love are the two things I know that force a man to learn new skills. Well, lead the way – whether we are going to meet a friend, or an enemy who wishes our deaths, at least we will be together."
I stepped into the corridor, beyond Peter's sight, and used the few seconds before he joined me to control my expression.
When we reached the gods' house, Ursula awaited us outside. Looking only at me, she said, "He's waiting for you in the sanctuary." Then she turned to lead, but Peter stopped her, laying a hand gently on her shoulder. As she looked up, he asked in quiet puzzlement, "How is it that you come to be involved in this matter, Ursula? I wouldn't want to see you harmed. Perhaps you should wait for us in the city."
Ursula made no reply. I hastened to say, "Wait for us at the other end of the house, at least. Then, if we walk into danger, you will have time to take care for yourself."
Ursula met my eyes as she touched my hand briefly before turning to walk to the end of the house where the Jackal's other thieves were hiding.
I took one final look at Peter. He smiled at me with love and reassurance. Then I ushered him in to where John awaited.
John was standing in the middle of the sanctuary, wearing the mask of the Jackal. As Peter saw this, he halted, unsheathing his dagger. I took several steps forward to bring us beyond reach of the doorway; Peter, his eyes on the Jackal, had no choice but to follow. Then I reached out and took the Chara's dagger.
He did not resist my move; he was still watching John. I knew that the only reason he had not yet attacked was because he saw that the Jackal was unarmed. Other men might be in the house, though, and the Chara would know that he must imprison the Jackal before their arrival. As I walked over to the wall next to us, Peter moved his hand to his thigh.
Perplexity crossed his face as he felt the empty pocket. Even then he did not look at me. His gaze fixed on the dangerous man before us, he began to move slowly sideways to aid his friend who had so little experience in wielding a blade.
At that moment, the Jackal spoke softly under his sinister mask: "I am the Jackal. The Chara has said that we could not speak together until I was his prisoner or he was mine. It is for that reason that I have had you brought here."
A soft sound behind us caused Peter to whirl round. In the corridor was a cluster of armed thieves. One of the thieves was in the process of closing the sanctuary door. As he did so, a single figure slipped into the sanctuary. For a moment, Peter's gaze lingered upon Ursula. Then he turned to see what she was watching.