The Three Christs of Ypsilanti (31 page)

Leon corrected me: the word was
morphodite
. “I don't care for the word hermorphodite,” he went on, “because of the
her
which would split a testicle sack. Since I corrected it, the female part has gone away. However, I never used it as such; therefore, I am only male.”

—
Whatever gave you the idea of being a morphodite?
—

“Statements by persons when I was going to school and also incidents of approaching, and particular touches made.”

He recounted with horror an experience he had in Europe, when he was going on eight, with a boy of nine or ten. “I fornicated
through the mouth—twice his mouth and twice mine. . . . That's the way God permits a person to know the right use of the penis, if they accept the distinction between right and wrong.”

—
It must have been a very disturbing experience for you.
—

“I was very deeply startled and frightened.”

I then asked Leon to make a contribution to the theory of symbolism by explaining what he meant by the vine and the rock. He gave the explanation quite cheerfully.

“The vine is both the ureter and the penis. The rock is both breasts, temporary nectar stones—temporary because they are hard only during sexual intercourse—and testicles.”

I brought the subject back to the letters and Madame God.

“It is possible I may see her,” Leon said. “It comes to me that God
may
be a morphodite.”

At about this time an aide came in with a letter for Leon, saying that a woman had given it to him.

“Oh, was she a woman about five feet five, blue eyes, longish nose?”

—
Yes.
—

“Thank you,” said Leon, “that's God.”

He opened the letter, read it silently, and then said: “She signed it Madame Yeti Woman.”

—
What does it say?
—

“My dear husband,” Leon read aloud, “I am happy to be able to say that I can send you at this time the enclosed one dollar. I expect you to use this to buy yourself refreshments and a ballpoint pen for your use today. Sincerely yours, Madame Yeti Woman.”

—
Amazing! What's that in it?
—

“Money is a means to an end.”

Leon is the only person I have ever known who had absolutely no use for money. By comparative standards, he was rich: he had close to a thousand dollars in his account at the hospital's business office; and as the account was never drawn on, it grew larger year
by year as a result of his small veteran's pension. But, according to Leon, it was not his—after all, it was held under his dupe name. “I have no use for money,” he once informed us, “I don't want no part of it. I don't want a thing that don't belong to me. I don't deserve it.” Nor would he accept his small weekly allowance from us, or money from any other source. As he explained it: “Where thy treasure is, there is thy heart.[
1
] If you are absorbed with engrams of thought that deal with money, you're a stumbling block unto yourself in most instances—anxiety, worry comes with it after you obtain money, and your desire to have more money, and then your desire to have it protected—all these bring about something which is not helpful to the physical, mental, and spiritual. I was making a hundred twenty-five dollars a week, and then to have that lame-brain Eve squander it on pimps. No, I don't approve of that. The particular person that misused money, why, she made me sick towards money.”

Leon was now gazing at the dollar bill that had been enclosed in his letter with an intensity of expression which puzzled me.

—
What are you looking at?
—

Suddenly I realized that he was really doing something I had not expected to witness. He was struggling to hold back his tears. With this much effort he would surely succeed. But he did not. Two tiny droplets formed in the corner of his eyes, and ever so slowly they grew slightly larger. There they remained for a moment or two until they squeezed themselves out as if of their own accord, despite Leon's struggle. I watched their slow descent down his face.

The mood this aroused soon gave way to another. As the two tiny droplets approached the halfway mark down his cheeks, Leon neatly scooped them up with his index finger, first one, then the other, and sucked them into his mouth.

—
What are you doing?
—

“Tears are the best antiseptic there is,” said Leon. “There's no use wasting tears.”

He began to examine the dollar bill, turning it over from one side to the other.

“I haven't seen one of these for years. I mean, to handle.” He read the name of the Treasurer of the United States and the serial number.

—
Does the letter make you happy or sad?
—

“I feel somewhat glad.”

—
Is there something the matter with your eyes?
—

“Oh, they're smarting, sir, so I'm enjoying some disinfectant, sir,—the best in the world: tears.”

—
Are you crying?
—

“No, my eyes are smarting because of some condition.”

—
You say you feel somewhat happy?
—

“Yes, sir, it's a pleasant feeling to have someone think of you. But there's still a tugging against her and I don't care for it.”

—
Do you want to disobey her?
—

“No, no! I don't! That's the point! I don't care for the temptation against her.”

September 9. At the group meeting, I ask Leon if he would care to tell Clyde and Joseph his news. He announces that he got a letter from his wife, God Almighty, and that she sent him a dollar.

“I don't see how a woman can be God Almighty,” says Joseph, “I think it's fictitious. Maybe it's been arranged before—might have been prearranged.”

After some further discussion, Leon announces that he intends to spend his dollar on refreshments and a ball-point pen. He gives the cheap, taped-at-the-middle pen he already has to Clyde, who had expressed a desire for it, but then takes it back, saying he needs it until he buys a new one.

After the meeting, I wait at a strategic place to see whether Leon will go to the store. A half hour passes. Then I see him walking purposefully down the street and entering the store.

September 11. Leon asks the aide to let him go outdoors after lunch. He says he is going to visit God. When asked if this means he is going over to the chapel, he replies that he may go over there too.

September 12. Early in the morning an aide sees Leon outside the the chapel, a place to which he never goes. First he kneels for awhile at the entrance and then tries to go inside. Finding it locked, he walks away.

Later, in a private interview Joseph mentions that three days ago, when he was in the store, Leon came in. We ask him what happened, and after a few efforts at evasion, he says: “I'll tell you what he did. He came to the store and he went to the last counter, got a bottle of ginger ale, and bought a ball-point pen for thirty-nine cents. He gave his other pen to the old man.”

An hour or so before meeting time, an aide delivers another letter to Leon.

At the meeting Joseph, who is chairman, announces that they will open the meeting with the first verse of
America
. Leon makes no effort to suggest another song, and as usual they sing
America
. Joseph then offers Leon one of our ready-made cigarettes. Leon refuses it. Joseph says: “Mr. Dung went over to the store so I
thought he broke the habit of not accepting things. I saw him at the store the other night, very rare, very unusual affair, because I never saw him there before.”

Here Joseph has pointed to a sharp contrast in Leon's behavior —related obviously to his attitudes toward two different sets of referents. When his wife, a positive reference person, offers Leon money, he accepts it. When we and Joseph, negative reference persons, offer him cigarettes, he refuses them.

When I ask Leon about the letters, he makes no mention of the one he has just received but talks freely about the one that came three days before. Since I now know he had bought refreshments, cigarette paper, tobacco, and a ball-point pen, I ask him what he did with the change. He replies that he went to the chapel and placed each of three dimes on the altars of the Protestant, Catholic, and Jewish chapels. I commend him and suggest a motion to this effect. Joseph demurs. “I am against it. I can't be for it. That's just one time. One time is very insignificant. You've commended him sufficiently. I'd disregard it. I have given thousands upon thousands to charity.”

When the conversation returns to the letter, Joseph remarks: “I've been having it in my mind that he hasn't got a wife.” Leon replies: “My wife is within me. She's also my father and mother.”[
2
]

September 13. Leon is chairman today. What song will he choose? For a whole year now the three Christs have been opening and closing their meetings with
America
, rejecting all our suggestions to vary the songs.

After signing the Chairman List, Leon asks Clyde and Joseph to stand. “I move we sing the first verse of
Onward Christian Soldiers
,” he says. When they have finished the song, he tells us his wife suggested it.

September 14

Some time later, Leon approaches an aide and asks him to change a dollar. He then gives Clyde and Joseph each a quarter, and spends the rest on himself.

September 16

Leon, as chairman, opens today's meeting with
Onward Christian Soldiers
, and closes it with
America
.

September 17. Clyde and Joseph spend most of the day outdoors. Leon stays in the sitting room by himself and becomes upset when another patient wanders in; he says he is praying and doesn't want to be bothered.

At the meeting we ask Leon about the letter he received today.
Could I see it, I ask, since I continue to find it difficult to believe he has a wife?

“No, sir!” he exclaims. “And that's an example right there of trying to lead my life. I don't go for it!”

—
You don't like to be asked questions?
—

“I believe that if your wife wrote you a letter and I asked you, I believe you'd give me a more affirmative answer!”

September 19. In the early afternoon Leon is handed a letter. He says to the aide: “Thank you, sir, it's from my wife.” After the usual salutation and expressions of affection, support, and concern for his well-being, it continues:

Immediately after reading this, Leon rushes to the library and comes back with a hymn book. An hour later, in a private interview, he reiterates that God is both male and female, but he now adds some significant ideas: “There is sanity in God and insanity in God. I spoke against the insanity that God Almighty knows and does support, and now I have to acknowledge that God
Almighty does have insanity pertaining to his knowing negativism. I'm accepting things that were hard to face for a while. Now that I've accepted them, I see the truth of the matter and I'm in accordination with it.”