The Thief (30 page)

At the northernmost point of Clan Elliot land, Lachlan turned De Brus to the west with a twitch of his fingers on the reins. As they neared the top end of the burn, he scanned the lightening landscape.

The smell of burning peat floated past on the chill dawn chill breeze. Narrowing his eyes, he searched the tree-dotted meadow. A frosted puff of smoke chuffed into the air to his right. Lachlan tugged lightly on the leather strips. De Brus instantly changed direction.

Kenzie didn’t know he knew of the cottages. His gut told him this is where she’d come. His heart prayed his instinct proved right.

One huge oak blocked this particular cottage from full view. At this early hour, the oiled hide hanging over the single window was still in place and the ill-fitting door remained closed. Meg’s soft whinny greeted them from behind the oak’s wide trunk, and told him Kenzie had arrived here safely. Relief poured through him.

Lachlan drew De Brus to a stop a small distance from the mare and the cottage. He dismounted and threw the reins over a small bush. With one long stroke down his mount’s nose, he turned and approached the weather-beaten structure. Apprehension tightened the muscles across his back. He rolled his shoulders to alleviate the sudden stiffness and reached for the hilt of his sword. His fingers brushed air. He peered down at his hip, patted the other and found his waistband empty.

In his haste to find Kenzie, he’d forgotten his sword and his dirk. A careless mistake.

A sense of vulnerability swept through him as he neared the cottage door. Did it stem from his lack of weapons, or because he was about to find out if the woman he loved would welcome him or turn him away?

Regret settled like an iron weight in his chest. Regret for not opening his heart and telling Kenzie he loved her. Aye, he loved her, but God Almighty, the beautiful, stubborn wench would hear him out before condemning him for something he hadn’t done.

Raising his fist, he pounded on the door.

Chapter 25

The moment the cottage door had opened, Kenzie had fallen into Martha’s arms and sobbed her heart out. Cradling sweet Kelsey to her chest, she’d told the older woman about her marriage, how it came to be and what had transpired since. Martha said not a word throughout, simply letting Kenzie pour out her pain until she was left feeling weary and drained.

Once she was done, Martha brought her a bowl of warm water to splash her face and took the young girl from her arms. Despite being tired, Kenzie didn’t want to sleep—she was afraid of what her dreams might bring. She’d work out what to do in the cold freshness of a new day. With a tender kiss on her cheek from the woman she loved like a mother, she slipped outside into the brisk, early morning and wandered to the rear of the cottage.

Pain lanced her heart.
Lachlan.
Dear God, how she loved him. She pressed an open palm over her chest but the hurt remained.

Of course he’d know she was gone, but he wouldn’t come after her. He now had what he’d wanted from the beginning: Jeanne, his first choice.

Steps dragging, she passed by the vegetable garden and paused at the lean-to filled to bursting with enough chopped wood to last the entire winter. Someone had been busy. She moved on, heading to the forest of oaks and following the border of trees. With no particular destination, she continued strolling, surviving on chilled air and an aching heart.

At least she hadn’t told him she loved him. He couldn’t use her feelings as a weapon against her if he didn’t know how deeply she cared. He must never know. And she hadn’t told him about the forgotten, so he wouldn’t know where to find her. Relief spiralled through her. She didn’t want to face him again. She couldn’t see him without falling apart. Couldn’t look into his summer-sky eyes and not reveal how much she cared. Tears welled, blurring her vision.

Nor could he ever know about the child she carried. A crushing feeling invaded her chest. She cradled her belly with both hands.

‘I’m so sorry.’ Tears spilled down her cheeks as she begged her unborn babe for forgiveness. ‘I promise to love you enough for two.’

She leaned upon a wide trunk and sobbed her pain out to the morning mist. She’d done everything she’d sworn not to do and only now did she fully understand why she’d made such vows to begin with: to protect herself. To keep her safe from the hurt and harm she was now suffering. She’d failed herself, but she would never fail her baby.

She straightened from the tree and dashed the tears from her face. She had another to think of now.

Stepping around the oak, she saw a masculine form at the edge of the forest and froze. There was no mistaking the fair-haired figure dressed in shirt, plaid and boots who stared into the woods, hands resting on lean hips.

The sudden longing to feel his powerful arms about her, to sink against his hardness and share his heat was a physical pain. The desperate craving to hear him laugh or have him smile at her became an overwhelming ache. But she could never know or feel such things again.

She’d believed he loved her. How could she have been so wrong?

She ducked behind the tree to give herself time to think. Again, it wasn’t only herself she needed to keep safe. Martha and the others needed protecting too. As much as facing him tortured her, she couldn’t remain hidden forever.

She stepped out from behind the oak, drew a breath, and then froze at the sight of Kelsey skipping toward where Lachlan stood. She knew of Kelsey’s fear of men, had heard the little girl’s mother speak of the terrors she’d suffered for weeks after witnessing her mother’s beating.

Kenzie wanted to call out to the little girl, to save her from facing her fear, but her voice held no sound. Kelsey drew near to where Lachlan stood with his back to her. Kenzie picked up her skirts and ran toward them.

She’d taken only three steps before Kelsey reached Lachlan’s side. Deep in her heart, Kenzie knew Lachlan to be kind, knew he wouldn’t bring harm to anyone without cause, but most especially not to a child. She would never have fallen in love with him if he’d been cruel. He might be unfaithful, but he was a good man. She slowed her steps, then halted completely and held her breath.

Seeming oblivious to the little girl’s presence, Lachlan stood as still and silent as one of the oaks he stared at. Kelsey stretched her small fingers up and slipped them into his large hand. Lachlan turned and looked down at Kelsey, a moment before one of his heart-stopping smiles broke free. He crouched down and the little girl threw her arms about his neck.

Kenzie’s eyes once again filled with tears as Lachlan’s big, calloused hands gently hugged Kelsey close. Why wasn’t Kelsey afraid of Lachlan? How had he known where to find her so quickly? Kenzie’s attention flew to the brimming pile of freshly chopped wood. He hadn’t spoken of what he’d been doing while letting her spend time with Jeanne. He’d somehow found her family, and from Kelsey’s lack of fear, had got to know them.

She looked back and her eye caught his. He said something to Kelsey and the little girl smiled before skipping off to the cottage. Lachlan slowly rose to his full height and strode toward her. He was magnificent. Her hungry gaze drank him in. Her heart thudded. Her mouth dried.

‘Kenzie.’

His beloved voice seeped into her senses, chilled her soul. Kenzie drew her cloak around her shoulders and wrapped a protective cloak about her heart.

He stopped before her. Sandalwood and Lachlan wreathed her senses. His gaze roamed her face, trailed the length of her body. Whatever he saw eased the harshness from his features. ‘You’re safe.’

He’d worried for her. Her foolish heart fluttered. Her heart’s cloak slipped, but thoughts of his infidelity swiftly set it back in place.

‘I can look after myself.’

‘I know. And not only yourself.’ He inclined his head in the direction of the cottage.

‘You’ve been here before.’

‘Several times.’

‘You’ve met my family.’

‘Is that who they are?’

‘They are the lost, the forgotten. The unwanted.’ Her voice broke.
Like me.

Lachlan moved as if to take her in his arms. She held up one shaking hand to keep him at bay.

‘Please. Don’t.’

‘These women and children are the reason you stole my horse and cattle.’

Kenzie lifted her chin. ‘Aye.’

‘You’ve made them your cause and they’ve made you their Angel.’

She tilted her chin higher. ‘These and others. They need help. They need to know they’re not alone.’

‘I offered to share your responsibilities, offered my help, yet you refused.’

So she had. Her hands clenched. She’d told herself he wouldn’t understand them, wouldn’t know how it felt to be invisible, overlooked. But she now knew she’d refused his offer out of fear—fear that once Lachlan became aware of them, aware of their plight, he’d make them his cause, too. They’d no longer rely on her.

The truth spilled over her like a pail of icy water. She needed them, had relied on them, as much as they needed and relied on her. She had planned on sharing her responsibilities with Lachlan, had believed they’d be making the next deliveries to the cottages together. She’d planned to share everything with him after she’d told him she loved him. After telling him she carried their child. But that was before Jeanne had slipped from their chamber and reminded Kenzie she was Lachlan’s second choice.

Pain sliced her heart. Her nails scored her palms as she gathered every piece of her shattered confidence. Her bleeding heart would have to wait.

‘What do you want, Lachlan?’ Her indifferent tone pleased her, stilled her inner trembling.

‘I want my wife to come home.’

‘You mean the wife you settled for when you couldn’t marry the one you wanted?’

A stunned silence stretched between them. ‘What are you talking about?’

‘Surely you haven’t tired of Jeanne already.’

‘Forget Jeanne. What do you mean the wife I settled for?’

‘Me, Lachlan.’ She dragged in a tight breath. ‘I know you wanted to marry Jeanne, but Father—’

‘You also know,’ Lachlan said, cutting her off, ‘my reason for marrying was to fulfil my father’s dying wish.’

She did know. He’d made the announcement to all at their wedding feast.

‘Forming an alliance through marriage with our neighbours was also ideal for strengthening my clan’s position in the Borders.’

‘And Jeanne’s beauty had naught to do with your choice.’ She prepared for his agreement, his lie.

‘In truth, Jeanne’s beauty had everything to do with my choice.’

Kenzie’s heart seized. She fought the tears welling in her eyes.

‘Along with her vanity and conceit. At the time, I believed she’d make me the perfect wife.’

Bewildered by the bitterness in his voice, Kenzie could only stare. She suddenly wished she could see his eyes, but he’d lowered his head.

When he next looked up, he released a sigh that sounded like he’d been holding it forever. ‘I never wanted to marry at all, Kenzie.’ He slowly shook his head. ‘But I had to honour my father’s final wish. Taking a wife was only the first part of fulfilling my promise.’

‘The first part?’ She drifted closer.

‘My father was a fair laird and a good man.’

Like you.
The unbidden thought jumped into her mind.

‘But once I was born,’ Lachlan continued, ‘it seems he spent all his time being a doting father to me and neglected my mother, his wife. My mother wanted another child, one she’d vowed would be hers alone. My parents always shared a bed. But their efforts proved fruitless.’

Kenzie’s hands pressed softly against her belly and the babe she carried inside her. Lachlan’s child.

‘Father still had me, while mother’s discontent and determination grew by the day. In the end, my mother got what she wanted most—from another man. She died three days after giving birth.’

Kenzie heard the raw pain in his tone. She clutched the edges of her cloak to stop her hands from reaching for him. Not yet.

He looked at her. She saw the torment in the blue of his eyes.

‘Does Caelan know?’ she asked softly.

‘Nae. My brother isn’t to blame. Only two living souls are aware of Clan Elliot’s sordid secret.’

Him and now her. He’d carried such a harrowing secret alone and she suspected he’d also shouldered the burden of unwarranted guilt. ‘Why are you telling me this?’

He dragged in a chest full of air. ‘I need you to understand why I never wanted to marry and why I’d initially chosen your sister.’

‘Go on,’ she said, cursing the breathlessness now infusing her voice.

‘I was only one of many suitors invited to Irvine Keep by your father. The large numbers gave me time to observe Jeanne, and it didn’t take long to recognise her for the cold, self-absorbed woman she was. Aside from the promise I made to my father, I also made an oath to myself.’ His lips tightened as if whatever he was going to say next didn’t come easily. ‘I vowed never to open my heart for betrayal as my father had done. Loving my mother destroyed my father. With Jeanne as my wife, my heart would never have been at risk.’

Kenzie’s breath stalled in her throat. ‘Why marry me?’

He lifted one hand and rubbed the back of his neck. ‘I didn’t even know Irvine had a second daughter until Caelan informed me you were the thief I’d locked away in my keep.’ His arm dropped to his side. ‘Your father had nae choice but to allow the union. Your choice to hang rather than marry me sealed your fate.’

‘Because your heart would not be at risk.’

‘Aye.’

She slowly nodded and lowered her gaze.

‘I did not lie with Jeanne, Kenzie.’ The strength in his voice powered the truth of his words. ‘I banished her from Castle Redheugh.’

She looked up at him, searching his face and her heart. Knowing her sister, and after hearing his heart-wrenching secret, she realised that women were just as capable of being unfaithful as men. Remorse coiled in her chest. She’d misjudged him once before, and it seemed she’d done so again.

‘I believe you,’ she said.

‘But not enough to trust me.’

Warmth crept into her cheeks. ‘Trust does not come easily to me. Forgive me?’