The Terms of Release (27 page)

“I….” He walked out, eyes taking everything in, everything that was different, broken. God, he needed to ride fence and….

The horses saw him and went wild, calling for him, kicking and stamping and tossing their heads, telling him that things were wrong and they didn’t like it.

He left Adam behind, galumphing out, feet like dead things at the ends of his legs. “I know. I know, I’m sorry. Oh, guys. I’ve missed you.”

Warm, soft noses poked at him, the big bodies and horsey smell comforting.

He stroked and petted, muttering as they surrounded him. If his cheeks were wet and his shoulders shook, they weren’t going to tell on him.

Neither was Adam, who hung back and let him have this time.

When he backed off, his white shirt wasn’t pristine, but his jacket would cover that. “It’s going to peak at some point, right?”

“What’s that, babe? The grief? Yeah. It will be like a fucking tidal wave, and then you’ll rebuild.”

“Okay.” He had to believe that. He had to.

“I’m here when you need me, huh?” Adam came to him and slid an arm around him. “I’m so sorry, baby.”

“Don’t be. Not now. Not here. After, when we’re home. Then.”

“Anything you need, babe.” Adam squeezed. “I know you don’t want to go in there, but you need to sit.”

He opened his mouth to argue, but what was he going to say? He was scared? Fuck that. He was Sam Redding’s boy. He’d missed a lot of his Daddy’s life in prison. He wouldn’t miss this.

“Let’s go.” He just needed to get through this day. That was all.

T
HE
LAST
distant cowboy cousin left the Reddings’ house, and Win let out a sigh of relief. That just left Rosie and her new man, Bulldog and Wilma, June and the two moms.

Win glanced at Sage, who doggedly washed dishes, face set and pale, the deep lines of pain etched hard in his face.

“You need to get him home and lying down, Son,” his mom said, coming to hug his neck.

“I do.” He hugged her tight, so ready for all this to be over.

Sage had been fine at the funeral, quiet and sure, walking up to the podium and looking out over the crowd, simply saying, “Sam Redding was my daddy and I loved him, and he loved me, no matter what.” It had damn near broke his heart.

Rosie sang. Ellen cried. Jim had showed up to pay his respects. Sage’s cousins from over near Will’s Point had lead Sam’s favorite horse at the head of the procession, empty boots tucked into the stirrups, cowboy style.

“I’ll take Ellen back. June says she’ll take the flowers no one wants to the hospital and get some groceries so they don’t have to go out for a few days.”

“Oh, good.” He glanced around, lowering his voice. “Do you think I need to worry about Teddy? He didn’t show up, but I want to make sure he doesn’t bother Rosie.”

“Ain’t no one bothering my girl.” Chance’s voice was rough as a cob, pale eyes meeting his. “No offense, ma’am, but I promised her I’d keep her and her land safe, and she said she believed me.”

Adam had gotten to like Chance today. The big mechanic seemed solid, over the moon for Rosie.

His mom laughed. “No offense taken, Chance. The family has threatened to have him committed.”

“Now that would be entertaining.” Win liked that idea.

“Adam? I’m sorry, but… I’m worried about Sage. He needs his pills, rest. He needs you to take him home, please.” Ellen looked like she’d aged thirty years in two weeks.

He went to her and kissed her cheek. “You make sure you eat some supper, huh?” They had plenty of casseroles and salads, but he knew Ellen had just picked at stuff. “I’ll get him now.”

“Good boy.” She hugged him tight. “Love you, Son.”

Sage was heading out onto the back porch, with a bag of dog food in hand. “Come on, guys. I got kibbles.”

The barn dogs came running and barking, wagging up a storm.

“Hey, babe, let me do that. You give scritches.” They’d feed and then head out.

Sage looked over at him, and those poor eyes looked bruised. “Yeah?”

“Yep. Your mom is heading out with mine, and Chance has Rosie in his sights. We do this and we can go.”

“Sure.” Sage’s hands were shaking some as the dog food was passed over.

Adam pressed his lips together. This was no time to berate the man, but they’d talk about stubborn later.

Stubborn, prideful, vain cowboys.

It didn’t take him thirty seconds to feed the dogs and get Sage to the truck. His lover stood there, staring, the man still.

“Come on, babe. You need to get in.” He would help Sage bend if need be.

“I don’t think I can, Adam.” Sage sounded… shocked. Like someone had wounded him.

“Okay. We’ll put you in the backseat with your legs straight out.” Thank God for king cabs.

“I’m sorry.” Sage looked at him, eyes purely panicked. “I think… I could sleep on the porch.”

“No. No, we need to get you home. We’ll get you in the shower to steam and then get iced.” He opened both truck doors in the back. “Here. I’ll get your butt up and then pull you from the other side.”

By the time he got Sage in, the man was the color of milk, but was laughing at them. That had to be good, right?

“You got it, babe?” He shut one door, then the other before hopping up to drive.

“I feel like an idiot, but I appreciate the help.”

“Everyone overdid a little.” Ellen had seemed almost transparent by the end, and Rosie hadn’t been able to stop crying.

“Yeah.” Sage was so quiet, so still.

“Long day. Did you eat? Did you want to order pizza or something?”

“I want french fries and a milkshake. Can we do that? I…. Shit, I don’t have a fucking dime to my name, man.”

“We can do that, babe.” That would be so much easier than trying to cook.

A quick stop at the Dairy Mart and they’d be set. Onion rings, burgers, shakes, and fries. Something so Sage could take his pills. Adam smiled at the girl in the window. “Hey, Annette.”

“Win. What can I get you?” She looked back at Sage. “Sorry about your daddy, Sage. How you holding up?”

“I’m good. Long day.”

“I bet. What can I get you?” She grinned, the expression sympathetic.

“Two double cheeseburgers, two fries, two onion rings, two cherry fried pies, a strawberry milkshake and a Dr Pepper the size of my head.”

“No problem, Win.”

Sage met his eyes in the rearview mirror. “We having company?”

“Nope. We’re hungry. You have a hollow leg. Once you get a pill in you, you’ll eat.” It took a shocking amount of food to keep that little body going.

Sage chuckled, the sound rusty, like an old hinge. “I could eat I guess.”

“Uh-huh. You can. You’re good at it.”

That got him another laugh, this one a little easier. He passed the shake back when Annette handed it over.

“Thank you.” Sage took it, sucked on the straw, the sound oddly comforting.

“No problem, babe.” He took the rest of the food, ready to get home.

“No charge, Win. Sage. Y’all have a good night.”

“Thanks, Annette. So much.”

He let Sage nod his thanks, but left before the man could protest.

“Smells good.”

It did—greasy and spicy and salty. His stomach rumbled, his mouth watering. Man, he was starving all of a sudden. Good thing home was close.

He pulled into his driveway and hopped out to help Sage out of the truck. Each step looked like pure hell, but his cowboy never even grunted. They got settled, got Sage a pill, got Penny out and in.

Then, finally, they could eat. He’d get food in his cowboy, then get after Sage’s boots.

“You want me to get some ice for your legs? Might help get those boots off.”

“I’m scared to try, to be honest.”

“Well, let’s ice and eat and let those pills kick in.” He got two bags of frozen peas and set out the food, shooing Penny away.

Sage ate, not as good as he’d hoped, but better than he’d feared, munching on french fries and nibbling on the burger. Hell, he even got a few onion rings into the man. Win devoured the rest, feeling bloated as hell, but a little calmer.

Ready to tackle the boots.

Sage didn’t say anything, just watched him like a kid watched a dentist or a clown. Wary and exhausted, poor Sage couldn’t even tense up when he pulled one off in a rush.

“Oh fuck. Do the other. Hurry, love. Please.”

“I got you.” Like ripping a Band-Aid, he pulled the other one off,
whoosh
.

Sage leaned back, panting hard, fingers curled in tight fists. Okay. Okay, the worst part was done. He could cut the socks and jeans off if he had to. Sage would fuss, saying they were the only ones he had, but Win could get more.

“You good, babe?”

“I don’t know.” Sage chuckled, and it sounded forced. “I’m scared to wiggle my toes.”

“You want me to?” He pulled off those heavy socks and made sure there was color in Sage’s toes.

They were blistered and raw, swollen, and Win helped Sage take his jeans off before propping those poor raw legs up. The man’s knees looked better than he’d feared they would, although Sage was going to have to take it easy tomorrow.

“I got an idea, babe.” He had some amazing oil that his mom had gotten him for when he had to stand all day doing crowd control. It felt amazing on blisters. He grabbed it from the bathroom and washed and dried Sage’s poor feet. Then he rubbed.

“Adam. Adam, oh God.” Sage’s head fell back, throat working. Poor baby. Those feet flexed, muscles jumping. “Tell me today is over. That I never have to have today again.”

“Never, babe. This is a one-time deal.” That he could promise. They would outlive other family members for sure, but there was no way there would ever be this sequence of events.

“Every single thing I have hurts.”

“You look worn to death.” Win chuckled. “I’m not trying to put you down, I’m just worried.’

“I am too.” Those pretty eyes met his. “Can I ask you a favor?”

“Sure, babe. What do you need?”

“Hold me a minute?” He knew how hard it was for Sage to ask.

“Of course.” Damn, he should have set Sage up on the couch instead of the recliner. Of course, they could both fit in the chair. He just lifted Sage right up and slid in beneath.

Sage rested down on him, trusting him to hold on. He did, happy he couldn’t hurt anything on the top half of Sage’s body. Sage rested hard, lips on his throat, breath warm.

Being still, there together, felt good. Peaceful. Like maybe the tide could turn in their direction.

“Promise me tomorrow I don’t have to see anyone but you.”

“You got it. Chicken soup and movies.” Maybe cookies.

“Thank you.” Sage sighed softly, the sound exhausted, sad.

He kissed Sage’s ear. “You’re welcome, babe. We’ll get past today.”

“I know. I just need this for a while.”

“Then you got it.” They didn’t even turn on the TV. They sat there together, their hearts thumping in rhythm.

They’d made it to here. They’d figure the rest of the stuff out tomorrow.

His Sage had paid his dues—to society, to God, to Win’s fucking family. It was time to let that shit go.

It was time to just be them. Together.

S
AGE
STARED
at his boots, and he felt a hell of a lot like they were staring back.

Two weeks at Adam’s house, and he still couldn’t quite get them on. He shouldn’t complain, he knew, because his knees were healing good. Hell, he had to admit, they both felt better than he could remember, and he even managed to get up on the roof of the barn over at the ranch for about ten seconds before Adam had lost his shit.

He grinned. That had been fucking fun.

The insurance money was in, and he needed to go find him a
work truck, a horse trailer for him and for Sister both. He had shit to
do.

And those fucking boots sat there, looking at him. Daring him to try again.

A knocking at the door distracted him, and he moved to open it up and came eye to eye with a barrel of a gun.

Well, damn.

“I’m not letting you get away with it, Redding.”

Sage met Teddy and his .32 straight up, refusing to panic. He didn’t have so much as an ounce of scared left in him. “I ain’t never got away with anything, man. Not then, not now. I done paid.”

He hadn’t killed Angel. Sure, he’d been there. Sure, he’d been stupid, but he hadn’t set the fire, he hadn’t made Angel use drugs or fuck around or choose to stay. He didn’t have nothing left in all the world but Adam Winchester and his pride, and he wasn’t giving either one of them away.

“You took my boy!” Teddy Dale’s cheeks were crimson, his mouth an ugly line. Adam didn’t look a thing like this man, thank the Lord.

“No, sir. That was meth and fire and God. I wasn’t in that house that night. I was sleeping in my truck, hoping he’d come home with me in the morning.” And even if he was to blame, he’d done his time. Every second.

Teddy went to hit him in the face with the pistol, and Sage lifted his arm, letting the blow glance off. The old man didn’t have a lot left in him, and if hitting on Sage helped, it was better than getting shot at. Sage didn’t have to worry about his momma this time either.

“I hate you!” Teddy was sobbing, spit flying from his mouth.

“I know.” Everybody needed someone to blame. It was the way of shit. Too bad for this old man that Sage wasn’t about to be a whipping boy no more. “If you’re gonna shoot me, you ought to know Adam is home. He’ll hear it.”

“You’re going to destroy his life too!”

Oh, he doubted it. Shit, if nothing else, Sage was going to save the man thousands in maid service. A neatnik his Adam was not. He actually smiled, which made Teddy Dale take a bead on him again.

“Now, Uncle, that would be a real bad idea.” The sound of a rifle cocking shot through the front room.

Sage nodded. “Just go home, man. Angel’s gone, been gone a long time. He’s probably loving Heaven. God knew the man liked to fly.”