The Temporary Wife (11 page)

Goddamn,
she thought. Every inch of her was on fire. Every one. Her core was throbbing, and all she could think about was getting him inside her, but if she let it happen again, she
would
be crippled and she’d faint from hunger.

When she looked in his eyes, Meg saw something change. The playfulness, the fun, had left him. Instead, something slipped into Jason’s gaze that she’d seen when they made love earlier, that brought her back to a moonlit night in an open field. In that moment, he wasn’t the billionaire, he was the boy she’d loved all those years ago, the boy who, back then, owned her heart.

Meg wiggled her hands from his grip and brought them to his face, touching his cheeks. He still owned her heart. And he would, forever, but Meg could never let him know. Never let him in. The cost to herself had been too great last time, and now she had Molly to worry about, as well. This had been an intense month, and the last couple of days showed her how easy it was to lose control of her emotions.

As long as Jason was so guarded, so unwilling to feel anything, she had to resign herself to the fact that this relationship was finite. Meg would be with him, love him in her own way, but she would never again let herself believe he was forever.

***

Jason lay awake, Meg curled against him, wondering what the hell he’d gotten himself into. Their night had been amazing, and Meg was the same as she’d always been—warm, giving, completely open—and he knew the gift she gave of herself was more than he really deserved.

Tilting his head back, he saw the sun coming up through the stateroom window, and he was fairly sure he’d be able to give her something pretty wonderful if he could get her up and out of bed.

He gave her a nudge, and she groaned, sniffled, and snuggled into his side. He pushed a huge lock of golden hair off her face and tried again. “Let’s go up on the deck. The sun’s coming up.”

“It’ll come up tomorrow,” she groaned. “Can we watch then?”

“No, come on.” He gave her a shove. “It’ll be worth it, I promise.”

Meg opened one eye. “You aren’t kidding?”

“Nope. Want me to carry you?”

“Don’t joke about that,” she said. “It’s quite possible I can’t walk.”

She turned away from him and moaned. “I cannot believe you aren’t letting me sleep.”

“I haven’t slept. I’m okay.”

Meg snorted. “You are not a normal human.”

Jason pulled on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt and laughed. “Maybe not, but I sure did like spending the night looking at you. Come on!” He gave her rear a nice smack, admiring the pretty flower tattoo that adorned her right cheek.

“Hey!” she squealed.

“Get up and put on some clothes or I’m carrying you out there naked.”

“Jason, I’m tired. Can’t you come back to bed? It’s so nice and warm.”

“Up,” he said. He was enjoying this. Just having the ability to annoy her so thoroughly was worth it.

He stood by the doorway, and Meg finally gave in and got out of bed. She rifled through his drawers and pulled on some very baggy pajama pants before wrapping herself in the terry robe from the night before, all while sporting a kissable pout. “This is mean.”

“No, it’s not. Stop whining.”

“It’s early and cold, and I’m sore.”

Jason couldn’t take it anymore and scooped her into his arms, because he knew she was going to love this. Happily, she didn’t object and cuddled against him. His whole body warmed from the contact. No other woman got him as hot as Meg. That she was a little crazy was another issue altogether. If nothing else, the next year wouldn’t be boring.

He couldn’t deny that he liked her. She wasn’t easy, but she was smart to the core, understanding things that flew by the very bookish people he often associated with. She had plenty of knowledge, but Meg had a sense about people that put her ahead of all the intellectuals he knew.

He loved talking to her because of it. It had always been that way. She’d flown through her honors and AP classes in school, although she was hapless with math. Meg was the person he always wanted to talk to about a problem. She knew how to deal with people, with situations.

When the custody issue came up, he knew she’d try to work out the problem, but this was a time she’d come up short unless she had some help. He knew it killed her that she wasn’t able to do this on her own, but he’d protect her if it was the last thing he did. His parents wouldn’t be allowed to hurt her again.

Getting to the forward deck, he deposited his lovely bundle on a chaise made for two and covered them with a blanket he’d grabbed on their way through the living room.

Again, she curled into him, closing her eyes and taking advantage of his body heat. It gave Jason the chance to look at her in the new morning light. Her skin, reflecting the rosy light, seemed almost translucent, and her long lashes lay dark across her cheeks. She was peaceful, and that was something he didn’t ever see in Meg. She was always on alert, always a mass of kinetic energy. To see her relaxed and calm made him feel even more protective.

Did he give that to her? Had she just resigned herself to her life for the next year? When they separated, would he be taking it away again?

He held her while she rested. Then, as expected, a familiar whistling sound came from the starboard side of the boat. Meg’s eyes flew open and looked up at him.

“Is that what I think it is?”

“You could go check.”

Flinging back the blanket, Meg made her way to the rail. He heard her gasp.

“Oh, my God. This is incredible.”

He stood next to her, leaning into the rail and seeing the pod of dolphins playing alongside the yacht and enjoying the wake. Her face was pure joy, and when she turned that smile on him, Jason would have moved a mountain for her.

“Thank you for this. For making me get up to see them.”

“I knew you wouldn’t want to miss it. It’s pretty spectacular.”

“Are they always here?”

“Pretty much. This type of dolphin is very social.”

“I wish I had my camera.”

“Yeah?” He walked back to the chaise, reached under, and pulled out a small camera bag with a bow. “This should work for you.”

She took the bag, and the light in her eyes flashed and settled on him, asking him without words what this was all about.

Jason didn’t speak, but instead took the camera from the bag and handed it to her. It wasn’t anything fancy, just a small point-and-shoot with a decent telephoto that she could keep in her purse. But something in Meg’s bearing told him he’d hit a home run. He’d bought a multimillion-dollar house, which she’d probably end up with in the divorce, and she was happy, but she got all misty over a simple camera.

Taking some quick shots of the dolphins, she was all smiles.

“Thank you,” she said.

“You’re thanking me now? Half an hour ago you were cursing me for dragging you out of a warm bed.”

“I was, but this was worth it. And I love my camera.”

“You’re welcome.”

Meg dropped her head on his shoulder, and they watched in silence as the dolphins fell back and disappeared behind them in the boat’s wake.

“Will they be around tomorrow?”

“Maybe. We might also see some seals. Almost a guarantee at the Cape.”

“That’s so cool.”

If it was possible, she burrowed closer, and Jason left a kiss on her head. There was nothing sexual at all about what they were doing right then, but it was so incredibly intimate. Everything about them the past couple of days was that way, in and out of bed. And Jason didn’t know what to do. Harper’s warnings kept ringing in his head, but everything about being with Meg felt so right.

While they were eating last night in the kitchen, he told her all about the work he was doing for his company. She wanted to know everything and asked a lot of questions about Owen and Nate. For the first time, she didn’t seem bitter, but genuinely curious about their friendship.

He took her hand, and it was like squeezing an ice cube. “You’re freezing. Let’s get you inside.”

“I like it here. You’re nice and warm.”

Looking down, he shook his head. “It’s too cold. You’ve got practically nothing on under the robe, and your feet are bare.”

He took her hand and pulled her toward the cabin. “A hot shower is what you need.”

Throwing her arms around his neck, she kissed him right on the mouth. “Are you taking that shower with me?”

Kissing her again, Jason gave her a little push through the door. “You bet.”

***

Meg wondered if there was some law regarding a person being too happy. Because if there was, she’d be in trouble. After a stop at Cape Cod and a day in Nantucket, Meg and Jason spent the end of their trip in the little coastal town of Boothbay Harbor, Maine. They’d spent two whole days walking around town and exploring the area, enjoying the cool fall weather and great food. They left the boat on their last night, staying instead at a gorgeous waterfront inn in an area known as Spruce Point.

The main building was a big, white house with green shutters and a massive front porch that looked out on the bay, and Meg resolved that this wasn’t the last time she would come here. There was something special here, and she felt like she belonged.

Of course, if she did come back, she’d have to do so knowing she’d be facing down memories of her time with Jason. This honeymoon had turned out to be everything she ever could have wanted in a wedding trip, but the sadness that was swamping her heart at that moment was crushing.

It was almost over, and they’d have to go back to being just friends. It was the only way.

The night was chilly when Meg left Jason asleep in their warm bed and grabbed the soft throw from the couch in their top-floor suite. She wrapped it around her shoulders and stepped out onto the deck, shivering at first from the blast of cold sea air, but then having her breath stolen by the number of stars in the sky overhead.

She understood why this room was called the Captain's Quarters. The ocean was spread out like a blanket that went on forever. Lights from town were to the north, and to the south there was a flicker from what she guessed was a lighthouse in the distance. She imagined some sea captain standing here and thinking about places he’d seen and people he’d loved. Or maybe his wife would stand here and wait for him to return from sea.

Meg chuckled. Her romantic heart never stopped working. It believed in love even when there was no reason to think it ever existed.

Settling herself in one of the Adirondack chairs, she tucked her bare feet under the throw and let the breezes wash over her. The air was clean and fresh and let her think of how she was going to face their separate lives when they returned home.

Meg had lived a fantasy when she was a teenager, believing she and Jason were meant to be together. The days they’d spent on this vacation showed Meg that her teenage self had been right on some level, but on others, sixteen-year-old Meg couldn’t have been more wrong.

Jason may have been her soul mate, but he was not about forever, because he would never love her the way she loved him.

Never. And if Meg had learned anything, she knew she deserved better.

Leaning back and looking at the stars, Meg sighed. She was so full of shit.

She loved him. It was deeper and more perfect than anything she’d felt when she was a teenager, but she couldn’t have him. For whatever reason, Jason had decided that he couldn’t do relationships, that he wasn’t that type of guy. And while Meg’s heart was willing to take whatever Jason gave her, her brain said no. She couldn’t take that risk.

Jason, who was as kind and sweet as the boy she remembered, had also grown into an extraordinary man who was generous and ambitious. But there was no room in his life for her. Their marriage was a means to an end, and he was willing to protect her, help her, and do anything he needed to do to keep Molly with her, but only as long as he had to.

Then he would be gone, and Meg had to protect herself from that reality.

God, she hated being reasonable.

The quiet was broken by the door behind her opening and Jason’s sleepy voice calling her name. “Meg? What are you doing out here?”

She melted a little at the sight of him when he walked around her chair and stood before her. He looked warm and rumpled from sleep. He’d pulled on a pair of loose sweatpants, but he was bare-chested under the plush terry robe provided by the inn, and his muscles stood out in the soft glow from the lights around the grounds.

“I’m just thinking,” she said. “We’re heading home tomorrow, and the thought of facing the real world is a little depressing.”

“It doesn’t have to be depressing.” He pulled an ottoman toward her and straddled it, facing her. “We can still be together.”

“No, we can’t, and you know it.”

Her voice cracked when she said it, and he responded by reaching out and taking her hands in his. Jason drew a deep breath and stared at their linked hands, letting the silence of the night and the ocean surround them. Silence that spoke volumes.

He didn’t argue with her. And that he didn’t put up a fight at all proved once again to Meg that she was doing the right thing.

“Well,” he said, resigned, “since we only have a little time left, I intend to make the most of it.” He stood and pulled Meg to her feet, letting the blanket fall to the deck and exposing her almost naked body to the chilly air, shocking her system. Lifting her into his arms, he brought her back inside, and once he’d settled her into the soft mattress, Jason sat on the edge of the bed. His fingers gently pushed the hair away from her face as he gazed down at her, his blue eyes sparkling with light and desire. “You’re mine for two more days. No arguments.”

Meg felt a smile break across her face. There would be no arguments, and she showed him exactly how she felt about his plan when she pulled him down and kissed him. Meg knew that she would be his for a lot longer than two days. She’d be his forever, even if Jason didn’t realize it.

Chapter 11

Jason cursed as he tried for the third time to tie his bow tie. He hated black-tie functions, but he went because people kept telling him a man in his position was expected to set an example and support charities and causes in the community.

Jason was more than happy to give money to good causes. He did it all the time, and the charity benefit tonight was for a good cause. He didn’t see how his presence at some stuffy event was going to mean more than a fat check, but he did as his handlers said because if his support of some charity put the company in a good light, he was all for that.

“Shit,” he said under his breath.

“You shouldn’t say bad words.” When he looked over, Molly was in the door of his room, the cat in her arms. Meg had taken Molly to her mom’s for dinner, and he didn’t realize they’d gotten home.

“I apologize. I didn’t know you were there.”

She dropped the cat and threw herself across his bed. It had been three weeks since the wedding, and he was still adjusting to living with two women, but it hadn’t been as hard as he’d thought it was going to be. He’d learned quickly that he always had to lock the bathroom door, and that he was likely to find stuffed animals or dolls tucked into his bed. But what surprised him most was how much he liked having them around. He liked having a family.

“Why does it matter if I’m here or not?” Molly asked.

“Well, I don’t want to set a bad example for you.”

“Oh. So if I do something bad, it’s okay as long as no one else knows about it?”

Jason turned and leaned back against his dresser. Molly was on her back, feet kicking and head hanging backward off the bed. Her long brown hair touched the floor. How did he answer this?

“Molly?” Meg stood at the door, her arms folded and looking like a really sexy girl next door. She was wearing jeans and a pink top, didn’t have on a stitch of makeup, and her hair was down, flowing and curling almost to her waist. When Molly spotted her, she flipped over.

“You shouldn’t be bothering your uncle. Let’s get you in the bath and ready for bed.”

“Am I bothering you?” Molly’s face dropped when she asked the question, and he wished Meg wouldn’t put it like that, but he knew she wasn’t all too pleased with him because he’d been out five of every seven nights the last couple of weeks. He was either at work or at some kind of social function, and their honeymoon was a distant memory.

Once they got back to the real world, he’d seen how easy it would be to fall into a routine with her, so he had pulled back and placed all his focus on his work. He could have brought her to any of the parties or dinners, but Harper’s warning stayed with him. A close relationship would make for a rough divorce. He had to keep things cool so when they separated she wouldn’t be hurt.

Jason thought about their last night on the yacht. They’d had two fun days in Boothbay Harbor, Maine, and Meg was curled against him after they’d made love.

“I’m going to miss this,” she’d said.

“It’s been great, but the real world calls.”

“I wish we didn’t have to go back.”

That’s when Jason had realized that things had gotten messy. He didn’t know how a relationship was going to work with Meg when he was back to his normal grind. He didn’t know where she fit. But more than anything, he knew if he let this go on, when it was time to end it, she would be hurt. By keeping his distance now, he’d keep her from being hurt later.

Jason was hoping he could figure it out, but there were no easy answers. If he wanted her in his life, it was going to get complicated and emotional. So the distance proved safe.

His niece, however, was waiting for him to answer.

“Molly, you never bother me,” he finally said. “Now, back to my language . . .” He sat on the bed near her. “I shouldn’t have cursed. Words are powerful, so I’ll be more careful. And to answer your question, your behavior needs to be good even if no one is watching.”

“Okay.” She nodded and reached out to him. Jason wrapped her in his arms and looked at Meg, who was standing by the door, stone-faced. “Will you come to my soccer game on Sunday?”

“Sunday? I think I can be there.”

“Yay!” She bounced off the bed and ran around the room. “I’m going to be the goalie. It’s my turn!”

“Cool. I’ll be there. Now get ready for your bath.”

Molly took off out of the room, and when he looked toward Meg, she turned to go as well. The look on her face wasn’t warm or happy or friendly. She looked at him like he was a leper. “Meg, please don’t make her think she’s a bother to me. She’s not.”

“Okay. I’m sorry.”

He made another attempt with the tie, and she walked toward him and pushed his hands down. “Like this,” she said, and tied it in a perfect bow.

“Thank you. You’re good at that.” He checked himself in the mirror and fixed his cufflinks in the French cuffs.

“I do know a few things. What’s tonight’s event?”

“Some fund-raiser.”

“Oh.”

His phone rang, and he saw it was a business associate. Meg didn’t hesitate and left the room so he could take the call. He felt horrible. He didn’t want to go out, but it was expected of him. Jason thought about Meg, his wife, whom he was leaving at home . . . again.

***

Meg left his room and Jason took the phone call. She hated that she was so suspicious, wondering if it was Harper or another woman he might have been escorting that evening. He never wore his wedding ring, and Meg knew he never thought about how much a simple gesture like that would mean to her.

But Meg had to get the romantic fantasies out of her head. What happened on their fake honeymoon was nothing more than mutual gratification. Both of them scratching an itch. Which was why her jealousy, her hurt feelings, were bothering her so much. She wasn’t supposed to care, but she did.

She did, because Meg couldn’t help herself where Jason was concerned. She never could, which was why she let him hurt her for so long fourteen years ago. She’d known he was hiding her from his friends, but she’d let it go on because she had loved him so much, didn’t want to risk losing him. She had sacrificed her self-respect and her body for a boy who didn’t respect her.

She wouldn’t do the same thing now. She wouldn’t let herself be used.

“Meg?” She heard Jason’s voice and thought he was calling to her. When he continued talking, she realized that he was still on his call, but hearing her name made Meg stop to listen. “No, she’s not coming tonight . . . Yes, she’s anxious to meet everyone, too, but she works, so weeknights are hard . . . She’s a teacher . . . Yeah, I know, I’ve tried to get her to quit, but she won’t, she loves it . . . I know. She makes nothing, but I guess it’s not about money . . . Thanks, Joe, we’d love to have drinks another time.”

He was hiding her again. She would have loved to go to the benefit, but obviously Jason was keeping her away from his friends and associates. She guessed it had something to do with the comment Harper made about her looking like a stripper. Jason said he didn’t feel that way, but this was one instance where actions spoke louder than words.

Maybe he was worried she was getting too involved, which she was, but he was in it as much as she was. None of this made sense, until she factored in the Harpy, the stripper comment, and the fact that Jason didn’t want a commitment. He’d been happy to play the new husband and have sex when she was the only woman around, but back in civilization, Meg ceased to exist.

She went into Molly’s room and pulled pajamas and underwear out of the drawer, thinking the whole time what a mess she’d made of her life. She had a lot of things—a big house, a cottage in Martha’s Vineyard, money—but she didn’t have anyone who really loved her, and she might never have that.

Thinking about how she’d behaved, how she lived, made Meg ashamed of herself.

Molly came running into the room with her towel, and Meg refocused her attention on the little girl who needed her. That’s what this was all about. Not Meg and her hopes for a happily-ever-after. It was about giving Molly a future.

“I’m heading out.”

Jason stood at the door of Molly’s room, looking handsome and sophisticated in his tux, and her heart broke. But she couldn’t let it show. Not this time. She let her pride go when she was young; this time that was the only thing she had to hang on to.

“Have a good time,” Meg said as she helped Molly wiggle out of her shirt and jeans.

“Night, Mol,” he said.

“Night, Uncle Jason.” Molly didn’t look back as she ran into the bathroom.

“She’s got a lot of energy,” he said, grinning.

Meg felt her chin drop. There were so many things sitting on the tip of her tongue, and she knew shooting venom in his direction wouldn’t do anything, but she couldn’t let the comment go. Not completely.

“She does. Maybe you should stick around sometime to see it.”

“Meg . . .”

She checked to make sure Molly was out of earshot. “You don’t even know her, Jason. You want to ignore me, fine. But don’t ignore the child who is going to be your daughter.”

He said nothing, but hung his head.

“Enjoy your party.” Meg grabbed Molly’s towel and left him standing there. He didn’t deserve any more of her time.

***

Jason stood at the bar, watching the people go by. He’d just been hit on for the third time that night, and he wondered why he wasn’t flattered like he used to be. All three women were stunning and rich and offering their bodies like commodities. He just wasn’t interested.

Nate came up next to him and ordered them both a Scotch. “Where’s Meg?”

“Home.”
And she shouldn’t be,
he thought.
She should be here, on my arm, turning the heads of every man in the place.
He was an asshole for not bringing her. Three people, all guys in charge of big money someplace, had asked where she was, said that they’d love to meet the woman who pinned him down. And Jason realized that despite what Harper said, Meg would charm these men with her killer bod and thousand-watt smile. She’d do it when she asked about their businesses or their families or jumped in on a conversation about the new point guard on the Knicks. She’d have them eating out of her hand, and then he’d get a slap on the back as they moved on. They’d wonder why they didn’t marry real girls instead of the refined socialites many of them ended up with.

“I’m an idiot,” he said to Nate.

“We’re aware of that. Owen and I have wondered, from time to time, if you were dropped on your head as a child.”

Jason chuckled lightly. “It wouldn’t surprise me. I should have brought her. She’d have made this night so much more interesting.”

“Who?” Both Nate and Jason turned when Harper’s voice cracked the air. “You don’t mean Meg, do you? She’d be totally unprepared for something like this. Have you seen the people here? It’s like having New York royalty in the house.”

“I think she would have done fine.” He looked at Harper’s dress; it was elegant. It was also boring. Harper was boring. “She’s smart, funny, and personable. People would love her.”

“They don’t want personable here. They want dignified.” Harper walked right to him.

“I don’t believe that.”

“Jason, be reasonable. She’s not made for something like this. Hell, she’s not made for your life. My God, she’s a freaking teacher!”

The comment burned him for two reasons. First, he’d heard the words
be reasonable
come from his own mouth and thought of how condescending he must have sounded. Second, he hated how Harper disparaged Meg’s career. Teaching wasn’t for him, and he knew no one was going to get rich being a teacher, but he respected Meg’s commitment to her students and her craft. She was doing something valuable, and it was only when he saw the hours she put in, the emotional energy she gave to her work, that he understood it was so much more than a job. Unfortunately, he realized he’d never told her that.

Sick of it, he grabbed Harper by the arm and moved her quickly out of the main reception room. He dropped his hand when they were clear. “You listen to me. I’m not going to let you talk shit about her anymore. You need to learn some respect for the woman I’m married to.”

“Jesus, what’s gotten into you?” Harper snarled, folding her arms. “Did you get laid and now you feel guilty because you didn’t buy her dinner or something?”

Who the hell was this person? “One more word, Harper, and I cut you a severance package.”

That made his assistant freeze. “You don’t mean that. You need me.”

“I don’t need anyone that much. You’re dispensable. Don’t forget it.”

Before Harper could say a word, Jason headed toward the door. He was done here. Done with the bullshit, done with the games.

He was going home.

***

The house was dark when his driver pulled through the gate, except for a light upstairs in Meg’s room. Once Jason walked inside, he could see the glow from the kitchen, so that’s where he headed. The house had become a comfort to him over the last few weeks, and the warmth of the place Meg had helped design and decorate made it easy to come home to. As he made his way through the house, Moe Kitty rubbed against his legs to say hello. Molly’s jacket and backpack along with Meg’s tote bag were by the breezeway entrance, ready for school the next day. Little signs of life in the house. Little signs he wasn’t alone.

He stopped at the kitchen doorway and literally lost his breath. All of his air—gone.

Meg was at the counter, pouring herself a glass of milk. Jason wasn’t the type to wax poetic, but it was like looking at an angel. She wore a long, white, gauzy nightgown that floated around her body. It wasn’t anything anyone would call sexy, but on her, with the tiny white flowers and the touches of lace, it was positively erotic. There were slits on the sides, just to her knees, that allowed him a glimpse of her shapely legs, the short fluttery sleeves accented her slender arms, and the neckline scooped down to her breasts. The entire thing buttoned all the way down the front, and all Jason wanted to do was open those buttons one at a time and worship her.

She moved, and as the light fell behind her, her whole body was silhouetted. Jason could see the soft curving outlines of her bottom, her breasts, and he remembered what it felt like to have her under him, to be inside her.