The Tempering (The Mackenzie Duncan Series) (19 page)

Mackenzie stood, watching Liam. Watching and waiting for him to acknowledge her, She wanted him to give her some clue as to whether or not her approach would be welcome. He could scream and yell at her, or cry or just stand there, as it didn’t matter. She just wanted him to know that he wasn’t alone in this. She shifted her weight back and forth. She bit her lip—then her nails. And just when she thought he would never look her way, he did. Only he didn’t look at her, he looked past her. Then he ran.

Sighing, Mackenzie went back to the group and Geoff found her side. When he laced his fingers through hers and smiled at her, she hoped that since the first cycle of Liam’s were-life was over, she might get Geoff’s attention back. Liam may have still been new, but there were plenty of others in the house he could talk to other than Geoff.

“How’d it go? Mason said the only fatalities were a few deer and some fish.” He leaned over and whispered in her ear. “Gotta say, that’s a new one. Never been fishing as a wolf before.” His warm breath tickled and sent shivers down her spine.

“It worked. I remember a very tiny bit.” She wanted to scream it from the rooftops again, but instead shared with only him. He was the one to help her make it happen. Without his advice, she didn’t think she would remember a thing. When she looked up to him, instead of seeing pride in his eyes, she saw skepticism. “What?”

“Are you sure? I mean, I know you want to remember, and maybe you are hoping what you think you remember is real, but Mack, it takes a bitten years to gain even flashes.”

“I’m telling you, I remember. I saw you change. You looked at me, turned your head, and then ran off after a white wolf. Am I making that up?”

“That’s incredible! We have to call Margret when we get back to the house. She is going to want to know exactly what you did. If we can get all the new bittens to mature as fast as you are, we can get them trained that much sooner. Our pack will be stronger than any others. Our numbers are high, but so many of you all are too new to have control, and we can’t train wolves who have no control. This is amazing!” He pulled her for a hug. While his arms were wrapped around her, Mackenzie felt so wonderful. He had initiated the hug. He was so pleased with her and so happy in that moment, she thought it would be the perfect time to move things forward.

Pulling herself back just a bit to look into his eyes, she saw him smile at her. Taking that as her cue, she stepped up onto her tiptoes and leaned in. When her lips touched his, she thought it would be the best moment in her life until he pulled away so quickly that she hadn’t the chance to actually feel the warmth of him.

Geoff released her completely and looked around at everyone who remained in the clearing, watching them. Not only was she rejected, but also he had done so in front of everyone.

“Mackenzie, I told you, we have to take things much slower than humans do. Not only do we have a lot longer to make it happen, but also I am in charge here and I do not need anyone thinking I am less of a leader for being with you. Not that there is anything wrong with you, there isn’t. You’re  great. It’s just I need to be able to stay neutral about everyone should something happen. Margret has already practically forbidden it unless we are certain that we will be mates, basically till death do us part kind of thing. I don’t know about you, but I think we are still getting to know one another and I cannot say that yet. I like you – a lot. But we need to be sure.”

“Fine. Sorry,” Mackenzie said quietly, desperately trying to keep the tears at bay. He reached out to grab her hand but she pulled back. She was hurt and she didn’t need his hand. Turning away from him, she found Teresa and Natalie, and the three of them walked back to the house. Her two best friends knew that no words were needed. All she needed was their companionship.

~*~

Mackenzie stayed in her room for the remainder of the day. The sun had set and Teresa and Natalie had left long ago, wanting to socialize with someone who would actually speak to them without snapping. She understood, of course. It wasn’t their fault that Geoff embarrassed her by turning her down but that didn’t make her any less irritated at the world.

Mackenzie hadn’t even bothered to get out of bed to turn the light on when the room became dark at the same time as the sky. The only light illuminating the space was from the moon and the muted TV that she had long stopped paying attention to. 

“What the hell am I doing?” Mackenzie muttered to herself. Deciding to stop acting like such a schoolgirl, she threw off her covers and headed for the door. She wouldn’t pout or pine after Geoff any more. No. That was it. She was done. He had to come to her if he wanted to talk.

As she reached to grasp the doorknob, a knock sounded from the other side. Startled, Mackenzie jumped back. With one hand on her pounding chest, she used the other to open the door and stood face-to-face with Liam. Not sure if she could take any more drama for the night, she sighed and dropped her hands.

“What is it?” She had no energy left to argue or show any attitude to the man whose life she had changed forever and who hated her more than she thought was possible.

“Um, can I talk to you?” His eyes stayed trained on the floor and his voice was just barely above a whisper. Anger, hatred, cursing, all of that, she was prepared for. Friendly and wanting to talk? That was new.

“Yeah, I guess so.” Still standing in the doorway, she looked at him, even bending her knees slightly to see into his face and try to get his attention.

“I just—God. I just wanted to tell you I get it. I don’t like it. I still hate this and am so angry that I can’t even look at you, but dammit, after last night? I get it. I thought I had done so well up until the moon. That you were just out of control, but I’ve got nothing. I have no idea what happened last night and all I know is that I woke up covered in blood. Geoff said that it was an animal, but how the hell do I know? What if it wasn’t and they just don’t want me to freak out? I am freaking out!” By the end of his speech, he was no longer whispering but yelling and finally looking at her. His nostrils flared with every breath and his yellow-green eyes were wild. She could see the muscles in his forearms tensing and releasing with every clench and unclench of his fist.

“Liam, I know. I do. I am so sorry. If Geoff said that it was an animal, then it was. He wouldn’t hide it from you. Trust me. He let me see each and every mistake I’ve made.” Her voice was calm and soothing, but she was anything but. Her brain was racing a mile a minute on whether or not he was going to lose it and attack her again. She tried to listen for the others to find out how far they were. Just because he came to tell her he understood didn’t mean he had his temper or strength under control when he was in such an emotional state.

“I just need to talk to someone who knows what it’s like. I know they all do. Well, most of them, but it’s been so long for them that they all just brush it off as normal to wake up covered in blood.”

Seeing him lose all the anger in his face and fight back the tears that she knew he would never want to spill in front of her, she relaxed. He wasn’t going to do anything. He really just needed to talk.

“The first time I woke up and saw what I did I was so mortified that I cried for hours after apologizing to the bear that lay at my feet. I ran away. I couldn’t handle it.

“I tried to stay at home. I tried to ignore everything. I thought you all were insane but when the doctor couldn’t figure out my eyes or my strength, I started to allow myself to wonder. Then, with Ben, I just...” Liam sank to the floor, resting his head against the wall opposite her bedroom door. He pulled one leg up and wrapped his arms around it.

Sliding down the doorframe to mimic his position, she just sat there. Being around the others gave her a sense of calm that she didn’t have anywhere else, but being near Liam, when he wasn’t glaring at her or calling her names under his breath at least, left her with more than just the calm of being around her own kind. She couldn’t explain it, but it was more than that.

“I couldn’t stop myself from hurting my little brother. What would have happened if I stuck around? I ran. I had to. But not far enough. It’s great here, but I am terrified of going into town. My family lives two towns over. What if they happen to come here? I never told them I was leaving. I just left.” As Liam spoke his hands were wringing together and his leg bounced, Mackenzie could tell how difficult this was for him to open up to her.

“I haven’t talked to my mom since I left for school. I thought she was just some unsupportive irresponsible person that did more harm in my life than good. I have never missed her more than after my first change. She may not have been perfect, but she was mine and she loved me. Her goals and dreams for me weren’t my own, but that didn’t mean she didn’t love me. Amazing the things we realize when it might be too late. I know I should call her, tell her I dropped out, but I just can’t. How do you tell your mother that not only was she right, but that you aren’t even really human anymore?”

“Exactly! I have no idea. Geoff said that there were other houses farther away. I wonder if any of them have a place for me.” The thought of Liam leaving just as they began to talk saddened her. She wanted to be there for him. She never wanted him to feel alone or scared if she could help it.  If she was his sire then she needed to be there for him. But she didn’t want him to feel trapped either.

“They might, but Alaska is full of little kids from what I know. California might be an option. But you could stay here. I know it isn’t ideal, but maybe once you get more control you could still see your family, and don’t tell them? Just let them know you needed space and moved out. You could still go see them once in a while.”

“Says the girl who won’t even call her own mother.”

“Point taken.” Mackenzie remarked with a forced grin.

“What college?”

“Huh?”

“You said that you left college. Where were you going?”

“Oh, right. Harvard.” The look on Liam’s face was priceless. His jaw literally dropped and his eyes widened. After a second, he started laughing loudly and shaking his head. Mackenzie couldn’t see what was so funny. Her future was changed just as much as his had been and she hadn’t laughed at him.

“What? What is so funny?” She glared at him and when he took the time to actually look at her, his laughter dried up.

“Oh, God. You were serious? Shit. That sucks ass, Mackenzie.”

“Ya think?” Her stomach took that as its cue to announce to the world that it had been neglected for far too long. The rumble echoed off the empty hallway, and both Mackenzie and Liam laughed loudly.

“Come on, let’s get something to eat.” Liam stood and held his hand out to help her stand. Slightly surprised by the action, but not wanting to stunt their growing friendship, she placed her hand in his and pretended not to notice his slight flinch at the contact.

As soon as she was on her feet, though, Liam released her hand. They walked silently down the three flights of steps, politely ignoring the stares that followed them. They could of course hear the whispers wondering if they should follow. Mackenzie actually appreciated it as they were all worried about her safety, but from the look on Liam’s face, he didn’t feel the same.

“Ignore them. They will stop worrying once they see you don’t want to bite my head off anymore. Just think, they will be just as protective of you if the need should ever arise.” Liam nodded his head but said nothing.

The two walked into the kitchen and began to grab everything they needed for a late night meal in silence. Mackenzie didn’t have to tell him to grab the plates while she pulled the cups from the other cupboard. He grabbed the sweet pickles instead of the dill, without her even mentioning that the dill pickles that Margret bought for the house were much too sour for her taste.

Mackenzie made their sandwiches and Liam poured the tea. It was as if the two were in a synchronized pattern that allowed them to work together seamlessly. It wasn’t until a throat cleared from behind them that they even looked up from their tasks.

Geoff stood in the doorway, watching them. Mackenzie was still angry with him, but that didn’t stop her insides from turning in circles or her skin from flushing with heat in his presence.

“Hey, you hungry?” Liam grunted out between bites, not noticing the obvious tension in the room.

“Nah. But can I talk to Mackenzie for a bit?” Liam looked between Mackenzie and Geoff for a moment, before standing and nodding his head.

“Yeah, sure. Hey, Mackenzie, maybe we can talk some more later?”

She smiled at him and nodded before he walked out with his plate in hand. Her gaze returned to Geoff. Mackenzie crossed her arms and sat back in her chair, waiting. If he wanted to talk, then he needed to talk. She had nothing to say.

“So, Liam came around like I said he would, huh?” Geoff’s grin was too damn cute. Mackenzie hated that it was so damn cute. She couldn’t understand why he had that affect on her. Most of the time, she welcomed it, but dammit, she was supposed to be mad at him.

“Uh huh.”

“You want to talk about what happened earlier?”

“You want to apologize?”

“Me? I don’t think I was the one who did anything wrong. I have told you before, if there is ever going to be you and me, and I really do want there to be, we have to take things slow. I know that your humanity is so recent that a few weeks time seems like forever when your hormones are in overdrive, but really, it’s nothing.”

“Oh, right. I’m the one to blame. I am twenty years old! I’m not a virgin, so why the hell should I have to go back to celibacy because Margret told you to take things slow? Is she in charge of your body? No one sure as hell told me that rule. And it’s not as if I tried to jump your bones right there! I kissed you. I didn’t even use tongue. All you had to do was not push me away. A peck, that’s all it would have been. But keeping up your golden boy routine is so much more important than embarrassing me in front of everyone.”

“Do you really think it would have been just a peck?” Geoff took a giant step forward, coming face to face with her. So close, she could feel the heat radiating off his skin and smell his grassy scent. Every nerve ending was on high alert as his words washed over her. “If you think I could stop with just a peck, you are mistaken.”