The Teapots Are Out and Other Eccentric Tales from Ireland (18 page)

‘Romeo's don't always make the best husbands,' Jack countered. Before she slept she promised she would look into it.

‘I'll have to think of who's available,' she said thoughtfully.
Jack Furey knew his wife.

‘You'll come up with something,' he announced sleepily.

Through the spring Denny planted more shrubs and blooms. At his garage he worked hard. He had, by now, acquired more than a local reputation and motorists from neighbouring towns would patronise him occasionally. He took to dealing in second-hand cars and was soon making more than he ever dreamed possible. He bought a better car and went about more. On Saint Patrick's night he was invited to a party at Fureys. There were other people present. One of these was a girl from the nearby hill country. Her name was Nora Odell. She was auburn-haired and although exceedingly pale of feature was nevertheless quite an attractive girl in her late twenties. She was an indrawn, reserved sort. There had been talk that she had been seriously let down once by a neighbouring farmer but this was discounted as immaterial since almost everybody is subject to some sort of let-down at one time or another, the only difference being that there is never much revelation of these reverses by those who are at the receiving end.

Towards midnight all present gathered round the piano in the Furey sitting-room. Denny Bruder surprised everybody by proving himself to be the proprietor of a very fine baritone voice. The evening was a success. At Imogen Furey's suggestion Denny asked Nora Odell if he might call and take her out some time. She agreed and they settled upon a date. Unfortunately, it was a blustery, rainy night. For want of something better to do Denny asked her if she would like to see the interior of his house. At first she was reluctant but he seemed so genuinely put out that she relented.

After a tour of the bedrooms he asked her if she would like
to hear some records. He injected life into the sitting-room fire and chose a selection of Strauss waltzes. The evening was a happy one. She often came to the house after that.

Once he invited her to dinner. He prepared it himself. The main course consisted of curried chicken with the faintest echo of garlic for which she did not exactly care. Otherwise it was a first class meal. Denny explained that during his school holidays he used to help his mother in the kitchen of the hotel where she worked during the summer. He was an excellent cook and she would seize eagerly upon his invitations to dine in the house. Knowing her dislike of garlic he never used it when she was joining him for a meal. As the months went by Denny Bruder began to fall inextricably in love with Nora Odell. He never told her so. He was content to bide his time and wait for a suitable opportunity. Summer came and on Sundays they would motor to the seaside. Sometimes he would take her father and mother. He was now a constant caller at the Odell home. The senior Odells like him and Nora's brothers respected him. He was one of the best mechanics for miles and a chap never knew when he might be obliged to visit him.

One fine Sunday in August the pair sat on the grass at the end of a peaceful headland overlooking the sea. Beneath them the incoming tide was noiseless and the flat unbroken surface of the sea like a sheet of silver. Overhead the sun shone from a blue sky. Suddenly Denny Bruder placed an arm around Nora Odell's shoulder.

‘I'd love if you married me,' he said.

‘Would you?' she asked turning and looking at him directly.

‘You know very well I would,' he told her.

‘Kiss me,' Nora said. He kissed her awkwardly. After the kiss she took his hand and led him to the shore where the small waves broke listlessly at their feet.

‘I'll have to tell my parents,' she said, ‘and you will have to speak to my father, ask for my hand if you know what I mean.'

‘That will be no bother,' Denny assured her.

‘I'm sure he'll be pleased,' she said, as if she had known all along that their marriage was inevitable.

Denny Bruder was elated. Without taking off his shoes he ran in the water up to his knees and shouted to the heavens. ‘I'm going to be married,' he called out. ‘I'm going to be married to Nora Odell.'

They became engaged a fortnight later and a date was set for the wedding. Neither approved of long engagements and so it was that they decided upon the first Saturday of October. In early September, however, they were to be separated for a longish period. Nora's sister Bridie who was married in Wolverhampton was due to have her third child about this time. She wrote to Nora asking her to come and housekeep for her husband and two children.

Denny drove her to Rosslare which was the port most convenient. As he kissed her goodbye he suddenly realised how utterly empty his future would be without her. She had given his life a new meaning. He was, in fact, a different person since meeting her. People had told him so. It was expected she would be gone for a fortnight. This would allow her a week to prepare for the wedding upon her return home.

During her absence Denny spent every second night visiting the cinema. He always occupied the same seat in the balcony. One night a woman called Angela Fell, the wife of a local
shopkeeper, happened to be seated next to him. Midway through the film she suddenly said, ‘Oh, oh.' She said it loudly so that her voice carried to the corners of the balcony. Then she left her seat and occupied another at the end of the last row. After the show there was much conjecture. Several different reasons were put forward to justify the uncharacteristic behaviour of Angela Fell. Those who sat nearest to Denny Bruder spoke from a position of authority. A young man who sat directly behind Mrs Fell said that Denny was seen to suddenly lift his hand when she uttered the exclamation already described. As to the exact location of the hand prior to its being lifted, he was heard to say, ‘where the hell do you think it was?'

By implication this meant that Denny Bruder's hand was placed on an area of Angela Fell's anatomy which might best be described as out of bounds. There were some who flatly refused to believe this. There were others who refused to believe otherwise. Nobody thought of asking Angela Fell. Of all the women in the village she was the least communicative and the sharpest-tongued.

After this incident Denny Bruder was a marked man. People in his vicinity on the balcony would be paying more attention to him than to the screen. Denny had no idea he was under observation. A week passed and a teenage girl from the nearby countryside arrived late at the cinema. She fumbled her way to a vacant seat next to Denny Bruder. Couples nudged each other in anticipation. Nothing happened till near the end of the film. Then she left her seat and went outside. There was no longer any doubt in the minds of the villagers.

Some were filled with pity, others with indignation. Imogen Furey found herself in a dilemma. It was she who introduced Nora Odell to Denny. Clearly she would have to do
something. One night in bed she asked Jack if he was asleep. He had been away for several days buying calves in the western counties and had earlier retired to bed. Jack Furey was awake. Painfully Imogen related the details of what had transpired in the cinema.

‘What am I to do?' she asked.

‘Leave well alone,' Jack Furey advised her, ‘marriage will knock all that sort of thing out of him.'

‘I feel responsible,' Imogen persisted.

Jack lay silent. He could feel sympathy for Denny Bruder. He remembered what it was to be lonely, to be so sick with desire that little was beyond contemplation. Essentially he was a tolerant man who was prepared to go out of his way to make allowances.

‘I once caught a girl by the knee in the cinema,' he said trying to make light of the matter.

‘But you knew her,' Imogen replied.

‘I thought I knew her,' Jack Furey said, ‘she was no damned good.'

Imogen knuckled him playfully on the side of the face. ‘It's no laughing matter,' she said seriously, ‘I wish to God it was.'

They spoke far into the night. At Jack's suggestion she agreed to do or say nothing until Nora came home. Shortly before her return Nora received two anonymous letters. The day before her actual departure she received a telegram from her older brother which stated coldly that he would be meeting her at Rosslare. She had been prepared to discount the two letters until she read the telegram.

It had been agreed that Denny Bruder would meet her. If her family saw fit to change the arrangement there must be something afoot. Both brothers were waiting when she disembarked.
There and then they made her pen a letter to Denny acquainting him of a change of mind on her part. At first she refused point blank but when they threatened to deal with Denny themselves she reluctantly agreed. She would have liked to hear his side of the story. Family was family however and in the end where else was a person to fall back. She succeeded in convincing herself that she was doing the correct thing. In the days that followed Denny Bruder called repeatedly at the Odell farmhouse. He refused to stop calling even when the older brother appeared at the front door one evening with a shotgun in his hands. In the end both brothers dealt him a severe beating.

After this he concealed himself for a time. It was when word of the beating reached the Furey household that Imogen decided to act. Jack had left early that morning. Before his departure he asked Imogen to pay a visit to Nora Odell.

‘If either of them two brothers so much as looks at you sideways I won't like it and you can tell 'em so.‘

Imogen nodded. As soon as Jack had gone she made out a shopping list. Shortly before noon she betook herself to Fell's grocery. Mick Fell carefully scrutinised her order which was a substantial one.

‘I'd like a word with Angela while you're getting those ready,' Imogen said.

‘Of course,' Mick Fell agreed. ‘Go straight through.'

Imogen followed a narrow passageway into a tiny kitchen. It was a suffocating place with a gleaming hot Stanley range dominating the entire scene from one corner. Angela was bent over a small table chopping meat.

‘I hope I haven't come at a bad time,' Imogen said.

Without a word Angela strode past her towards the shop.
Imogen could hear her voice plainly. ‘I thought I told you I didn't want to see anybody while I was working. What sort of god-damned nit are you anyway?'

‘Look at the size of the order she's given me,' Mick Fell replied defensively.

‘I don't care if she gave you herself,' Angela screamed at him. ‘I don't want people collaring me in that hellhole.'

‘What do you want of me?' she asked with hands on hips when she returned.

‘Simply this,' Imogen answered tonelessly, ‘what did Denny Bruder do to you at the cinema?'

‘You have a blasted neck you have,' Angela hit out.

‘His hopes of marriage are wrecked,' Imogen forestalled her. ‘Tell me what really happened. I promise you no one else will ever know.'

‘Get out of here,' Angela advanced a step. Imogen refused to give ground.

‘I'm not leaving this kitchen till you tell me,' she declared. ‘A man's whole future depends on what you say to me this morning. I'm asking you as one mother to another if Denny Bruder molested you in any way that night at the pictures. If he is innocent you have a duty to perform. If not say so and I'll walk out of here this instant.'

‘I have nothing to say to you,' Angela returned. ‘Please leave now.'

Imogen took a step in the direction of the shop but turned finally and faced Angela squarely.

‘If this gets into court,' she said, ‘and it well may, you won't get off so lightly.'

The veneer of hard independence faded from Angela's face. ‘Court,' she echoed stupidly.

‘Yes, court,' Imogen pressed her advantage. ‘That's where they take people who destroy a person's character.'

‘I've destroyed nobody's character. I never put a hard word on the man.'

‘That may be but you never put a good word on him either.'

They stood facing each other. From the shop came the voices of other customers. There was laughter when Mick Fell passed a wry remark. Angela crossed to the table where she resumed her chopping. She spoke over her shoulder. ‘He did nothing to me,' she said. ‘I left my seat because there was a smell of garlic. When he belched I found it overpowering so I went to another seat.'

‘You might have said so before this,' Imogen said accusingly. In the shop she collected her groceries. She resolved to go to Odells that afternoon. First she would see Denny Bruder. Not for the first time she marvelled at the unnatural reticence of women like Angela Fell. Involuntarily she shuddered when she thought of the evil begat by the silence of such people.

As she crossed the roadway to her home the Angelus rang. She blessed herself as did others who were on the streets. Between the peals she could hear the distant cries of children.

Fred Spellacy would always remember the Christmas he spent as a pariah, not for the gloom and isolation it brought him nor for the abuse. He would remember it as a period of unprecedented decision-making which had improved his lot in the long term.

Fred Spellacy believed in Christmas. Man and boy it had fulfilled him and for this he was truly grateful. Of late his Christmases had been less happy but he would persevere with his belief, safe in the knowledge that Christmas would never really let him down.

‘Auxiliary Postman Required'. The advertisement, not so prominently displayed on the window of the sub post office, captured Dolly Hallon's attention. Postmen are nice, Dolly thought and they're kind and, more importantly, everybody respects them. In her mind's eye she saw her father with his postbag slung behind him, his postman's cap tilted rakishly at the side of his head, a smile on his face as he saluted all and sundry on his way down the street.