The Teacher from Heck

Map

Morning Announcements

1.
Meet Mr. Skruloose

2.
The Teacher from Heck

3.
What Is a Lettuce?

4.
Sweety Wets His Pants

5.
Meet the Devastator

6.
The Naked Astronaut Wins

7.
A Secret Weapon

8.
“Good-bye Forever!”

9.
The Upchuck Garden

10.
“You Students Are Lucky!”

11.
Gassy Has to Go

12.
Why I Sobbed and Bawled

13.
Peanut-Butter Pie

14.
Plan B

15.
Yummy Tree Bark

16.
“Pass the Tree Bark?”

17.
Sad News

18.
Who Wins the Water War?

About the Author

Other Books by Rotten School Series

Credits

Copyright

About the Publisher

Good morning, Rotten Students. This is Headmaster Upchuck. Please remember to make this day a Rotten day in every way. And now I'd like to get the day off to a Rotten start by reading the Morning Announcements….

 

Students who would like to join the After-School Big Butts Club can try out in the gym after classes today. You know what you have to bring.

 

Our wonderful cook, Chef Baloney, apologizes for sneezing into the pea soup yesterday. He says he's going to try really hard not to sneeze into the barley soup today.

 

Those students who sat in the audience and made frog-croaking noises during the choir concert yesterday—we know who you are, and we don't think it was funny.

 

Hammy the Hamster was successfully removed from second grader Chuck Stake's nose this morning. Chuck is feeling much better, and we're sure Hammy will be back to his old self in a week or two.

 

And finally, good news for all third graders. Our janitors tell me that the toilets in the third-grade bathrooms should be fixed in a week or two.

My name is Bernie Bridges, and you might wonder why I'm running so hard.

Normally I'd take time to enjoy the morning sunshine on the Great Lawn—to smell the sweet trees and flowers, to feel the warm breeze on my handsome face.

But this morning I am running full speed across the Rotten School campus.

I don't want to be late.

We have a new teacher. He is taking the place of our old teacher, Mrs. Heinie, and I want to be there
early to welcome him. And to let him know that, yes, I'm a
leader
at this school. But I'm a leader who is willing to listen to my teacher once in a while.

In other words, I want to
suck up
to the new guy before Sherman Oaks and his pals get there.

You see, the Rotten School is a boarding school. We all live here on the campus.

I live with my friends in the coolest dorm—an old house called Rotten House. That rich, spoiled brat, Sherman Oaks, lives in the dorm called Nyce House.

Yuck. Who would want to live in a place called
Nyce
House? We hate every kid who lives there!

My feet pounded the grass. The School House rose up in front of me. That's what we call our classroom building.

A few seconds later, I slipped into my fourth-grade class.

Uh-oh. The room was full. Kids were already in their seats. They turned to watch me as I closed the door behind me.

I stared at the new teacher. Whoa! The dude was a
monster
! Give me a break! He was at least
eight feet tall
and built like a truck on top of a truck!

His Rotten School blazer stretched tightly across his massive chest. It looked ready to pop its buttons. I could see muscles rippling up and down his arms.

His name was written in chalk behind him.

MR. SKRULOOSE.

Skruloose?

I flashed him my best smile, the one with the adorable dimples. “Welcome, sir,” I said. “I know I speak for everyone when I say how happy we are—”

“SHUT UP!”
he boomed, so loudly the windows rattled.

I swallowed my gum. He was kinda
rude
, don't you think?

His steel blue eyes narrowed in a hard stare. “You're in trouble,” he growled.

I glanced all around. “Huh? Are you talking to me? I'm in trouble?”

What was his
problem
? What did I
do
?!