The Teacher and the Soldier (13 page)

“Is this you going then?” Daniel asked.

“I need to sign the deed then I can move on.” He couldn’t help the twist of anxiety inside him and turned his back on Daniel to stop the other man from seeing anything in his expression that would give him away. Straightening his back to avoid giving away any body language clues either he counted back from five then grabbed the bag.

“We found a place for the retreat,” Daniel said conversationally. As if they weren’t standing here in a weird faceoff with Daniel between Luke and the main door. Glancing to the left Luke checked to see if the window was big enough for him to climb out of if he needed to. Evidently his trapped animal reflex showed in the action and Daniel stood to one side. “A big old twenties house up behind the park, kind of derelict, but we can get grants and fix what we need. Kieran has already said he’ll volunteer as much time as he can, and give us a good price on the carpentry side.”

“Uh huh.” Luke walked past Daniel and their arms brushed in the narrow space. Daniel placed a hand on Luke’s arm and stopped his movement. Luke didn’t shake him off. There was no point. He may as well get this over and done with so he could go get the truck and get into town. Daniel placed his other hand on Luke’s face and Luke couldn’t stop the instinctive movement to press his face against the warm palm.

“I fell in love with you on Monday,” Daniel whispered.

Shock knifed through Luke. “What?”

“You were sitting on the porch and we watched the sun come up, same as every day, but that time I took you by surprise and you were startled.”

Luke remembered it. He still wasn’t very good at handling people coming up to him without him realising. Jumpy, Zach called it, stupid is what he called it. “But the minute you saw it was me you relaxed and smiled. This huge grin that dimpled your cheeks and made your blue eyes spark with pleasure. It’s the same expression I see when I am inside you, around you, looking at you. When you come and you open your eyes and you look at me I am lost.”

“Daniel—”

“I’ve lost friends and seen so much more than I could ever explain to you. Maybe that makes me desperate to connect, I don’t know. All I do know is that I don’t want you to leave yet. Stay in Ellery, help me with the house, take up a teaching role at the school, work with Finn and the DARE programme he’s using in the school.”

Hope bloomed in Luke’s chest, but fear and uncertainty pushed it down ruthlessly. He was a shit boyfriend—look at what he had been like with Zach. And love? Who fell in love in two weeks? Apart from Finn and Max who seemed in the honeymoon stage, no one did. His mom had loved his dad and where had that ended? Years lost in a bottle and his mom dead and out of his life. He’d kept the secret of his dad beating him for two years out of love. Love was just an excuse to hurt people and to fail.

Deliberately unpeeling Daniel’s fingers from his arm he stepped away and to the door. Daniel didn’t move.

“I can’t,” Luke said. “Need to keep moving and find a new place.”

And with that he left. Climbed into his truck and started on the road down to town. He didn’t know what was worst—the fact that Daniel didn’t come out onto the porch to watch him leave, or the fact that he wanted him to.

Chapter Ten

Daniel looked at his watch and sighed. Everything he wanted had just gone. Left. Should he have done more? It was only ten in the morning. Maybe he could persuade Luke to stay and give it one more day. Perhaps he shouldn’t be a coward and actually talk to Luke about what had happened to him when he was younger. He’d been avoiding it for two weeks simply because he was falling head over heels for the guy and he didn’t want to rock the boat.

“Stupid,” he muttered. Leaning on the rail and looking up at the mountains he inhaled deeply. “Fucking stupid.”

“Who is?” Kieran asked. He was pushing a wheelbarrow full of weeds and looked red in the face. The heat was thick today and any kind of physical work would surely be the worst kind of thing to do at the moment.

“Why don’t you work on the cabin in the shade?” Daniel asked concerned.

“It needs two of us, big boy.” Kieran smirked. He thumbed at the cabin. “Wanted to give you and teacher-boy some alone time and waited for you to come up for air.” Instant guilt flooded Daniel. They had been around and he had worked, but let’s face it mostly had been mooning over Luke.

“Sorry. We can start today,” he said. Resting his elbows on the rail he bowed his head and tried not to concentrate on the fact that Luke had gone and that he’d likely never see the guy again. So much for his first time falling in love. He’d clearly only fallen for half of a man. He was being stupid. Hell, maybe he didn’t love Luke. This could just be the sex talking. It was very good sex.

“Where’s Luke?” Kieran asked.

Suddenly, with that simple question, sadness washed over Daniel.

“He’s gone,” he said simply.

“Gone?”

“Signing the deeds then he’s leaving, gone.”

“Shit. That’s it? Just gone.” Kieran sounded shocked. He settled the barrow on the ground and climbed the steps on the cabin in a rush. In seconds he was by Daniel and resting the same against the rail. “But he seemed happy enough here? And you love him.”

Daniel cast a glance at his friend who looked as devastated for him as he felt. “Was it that obvious?”

“You couldn’t take your gaze off of him and your eyes were all…” Kieran’s voice tailed off. Instead of finishing with words he waved his hand to indicate ‘the rest of it’.

“Jeez, how did I let myself get so involved? I didn’t mean to, I knew he was going but it sneaked up one me, I didn’t realise it myself until he said he was going.” Daniel sighed noisily then buried his face in his hands. “I can’t believe I asked him to stay, like a desperate ass, no wonder he took one look and ran.”

“So he said no to staying. Did he tell you why?”

Daniel indicated the direction of the burned cabin with a nod of his head. “Too many ghosts,” he finally said.

Kieran pressed against his arm and sighed. “I’m really sorry, man. Is there nothing you can do?”

“Short of driving like a maniac into town and demanding he stays? No. I’m not forcing him into anything and if he doesn’t feel the same way as me then I need to chalk it all up to experience. It was two weeks of the very hottest sex I have ever had with a man I fell in love with. I’ll learn not to do that again.”

“Well, shit,” Kieran cursed.

“Shit is about right.”

* * * *

Luke parked on the side of the road outside the diner and stayed inside the truck for a good ten minutes staring at the steering wheel and thinking. His chest felt tight and he was still in shock—clearly that was why he couldn’t move. Who did Daniel think he was? Telling Luke he was in love with him? The sex was good. Phenomenally good. They’d connected in a way Luke had never done with a lover before. They laughed a lot, talked even more, and yeah, the sex… But that didn’t mean love. He was so deep in thought that the knock on the window caused him to jump up and bang his head on the roof.

“Sorry,” Finn mouthed through the glass with an accompanying apologetic smile.

“It’s okay,” Luke called back. He removed his keys from the ignition then climbed down out of the truck. Finn moved back out of the way and he was smiling. Luke couldn’t help being suspicious of a cop in uniform that was smiling.

“Daniel called, said you were leaving, and I wanted to catch you and say goodbye.” Finn held out his hand which Luke shook. Jeez, Daniel didn’t mess around—Luke had only left him thirty minutes ago or thereabouts. “Think you’ll be coming back around sometime to visit?”

“Not sure,” Luke said.
No freaking way.

“Shame you couldn’t hang around for Friday night at Max’s.” Finn had shrugged as he’d said it, but there was challenge in his eyes. “He lives two minutes down past the Mayor’s office, small blue house with the realtor sign, number six-five-two.”

“I’m leaving as soon as I sign the deed so need to get going,” Luke said quickly. The last thing he wanted to think about was the whole Friday gatherings, which led him straight back to thinking about Daniel. He walked away before Finn could say anything else and quickly entered the lawyer’s office to stop having to talk. The secretary looked up at him with a smile. Hell, what was it with everyone smiling around him this morning?

“Mr Fitzgerald, have a seat. Mr Grover said he would fit you in, but he is running a little late.”

Luke picked up a copy of National Geographic and thumbed through articles on Stonehenge and African Wildebeast. There was nowhere near enough excitement within the cover to keep him enthralled. All he kept thinking about was what Daniel had said. ‘I fell in love with you on Monday’. Who did that? Who knew what day or time they fell in love? Pain in his chest had him leaning forward and placing the flat of his hand over his heart. Physical grief tore through him. He didn’t want Daniel’s love all wrapped up in a pity bow. That was just stupid. He was a strong man now.

“Luke?” Bryan’s voice broke through his pity-fest and Luke shook his head to clear the thoughts. He signed the paperwork and handed them back. He was out of the office in less than five minutes and only had to listen to a few people catching him and telling him he would be missed in Ellery. Adding insult to injury, Max was waiting outside the door. The big volunteer fireman dressed in shirt and tie for his day job leant back against the wall without a care in the world. It was a sight for sore eyes. No one said Luke couldn’t look at Finn’s partner. Didn’t make what he felt for Daniel any less than love.

What? Love. No.

“Heard you were leaving,” Max said. His voice pushed aside the instant panic Luke felt at the L word even appearing in his head. Max offered his hand and Luke was instantly shaking it before pulling away. “Was really nice meeting you,” Max continued. “Miss having someone on my team on the Fridays. Where you going to again?”

“Colorado.”

“Oh yeah, you said. You’ve got a teaching job there or something.”

“Not yet, but I will have soon.”

“Good luck with that then.”

Luke climbed back into his car and pulled away from the kerb taking care to keep to the speed limit until Ellery had disappeared behind him. He was five hours away before his stubborn determination left him and he pulled over at the first motel he could find. The room was clean, his cell was charged and finally he had a peaceful place to get his head together. Turning his cell over and over in his hand he felt restless and angsty. Staring down at the screen he thumbed his pitifully few contacts and selected Zach who answered on the first ring.

“Luke, how’s it going with tall, dark and dangerously sexy?”

Uncertainty spiked inside him. Zach wouldn’t call him on what he was doing, or planning, Zach was always on his side and without fail supported Luke.

“Badly.”

“What did you do?” Zach snapped straight back.

“What do you mean what did I do?”

“We spoke two days ago and I could hear the change in your voice. You were happy. What have you done now? Don’t tell me. You talked yourself into not needing Daniel?”

Speechless, Luke held the phone away from him and wondered how the hell Zach could come up with that from just the one word ‘badly’.

“He was just a two week fling,” Luke defended himself.

“I call bullshit on that one, Luke Fitzgerald. When we talked it was like you had stars in your eyes, you sounded properly happy and enthusiastic for the first time in years.”

“That’s harsh Zach—”

“But true. What did he say to you that scared you?”

“That he understood me and loved me–that he wanted me to stay.”

Zach sighed and Luke could feel his friend’s understanding through the phone line. Zach would know what to do and what to say now.

“Which part of what he said scared you the most?”

Luke considered the question. “All of it,” he said finally. “I love him Zach, and I don’t know what to do.”

* * * *

The small blue house had the blinds drawn against the night, but slivers of light peeked around the edges. The realtors sign hung where Finn had said it would be and Luke could make out Daniel’s truck parked in front. Daniel could have decided that Luke wasn’t worth the trouble and that the last thing he needed was an emotional wreck for a lover…boyfriend, partner, whatever. He’d probably blown this, despite the fact that Zach said he hadn’t. He knocked on the door and waited. Kieran answered and stood blocking the entrance with his arms folded across his chest.

“Yes?” he asked.

“Is Daniel here?”

“Who is it?” Max’s voice called from somewhere inside the house.

“Luke for Daniel,” Kieran called back. No one replied, but an interior door opened to show the kitchen beyond and suddenly Daniel was there in person. He walked to door and Kieran moved to one side.

“Luke? Is everything okay?”

Luke shrugged. “I didn’t make it to Colorado.”

“That’s obvious,” Kieran snapped. Great, so scrappy little Kieran was placing himself front and centre as Daniel’s bodyguard or something. Luke would laugh if he didn’t think Kieran could probably take him in an instant given Luke wouldn’t fight back.