The Teacher: A shocking and compelling new crime thriller – NOT for the faint-hearted! (9 page)

The Mother

The Asia Room was done. It had taken them almost six weeks but they had done it, with time to spare. The room was an old disused ballroom that was being put back into use for the centenary celebrations. The next two weeks would be spent moving the animals that had been marked for restoration into one of the smaller storage rooms in order to make this room grand again, ready for a special dinner that would be attended by the mayor, the former directors and a few local minor celebrities in their respective fields, including several of the governors of the Churchill School for Boys.

Abbey was grateful for Parker’s knowledge, it had made things go much faster. She liked working with him now, he was different. As time had gone on he had spent less and less time jotting things down in his pad and more time discussing the finds with Abbey. He was less guarded and she felt like they were friends. As they arranged the dioramas he would pick up a muskrat or a long-tailed weasel and go into great detail about the where and when, things she didn’t know, like the habits and behaviours of the little creatures. He knew a lot about hunting rituals, he would get so lost in describing the animals in their natural habitat that she found it hard not to smile at him. He wouldn’t see her smiling because he was hypnotised by an imaginary chase or lost in some faraway paradise.

Abbey and Parker stood side by side and watched as animals marked with red were tossed carelessly into large cardboard containers. Abbey found herself holding her breath, trying to keep back the tears that wanted to flow as she stared at the unceremonious end her friends were coming to. The disposal team were not careful, they did not respect the history at their fingertips, they just mercilessly threw the creatures into the boxes, ready for incineration. As her hand rested helplessly at her side, she felt Parker’s fingers slide across her palm and gently hold on to her. She was grateful, even though she didn’t acknowledge it, but she could feel that he understood in that moment. He squeezed her hand gently as a single tear rolled down her face. His fingers were so soft and smooth against her skin. Suddenly she remembered her little South American friend, the mother, the one she had not been able to identify. Still holding on to Parker she quickly ran across the museum to the room where she had left her, dragging a surprised Parker along with her. The men would be going there next, she had to know what she was, Parker would know. They stopped to catch their breath. She saw Parker’s confused expression but didn’t have time to explain as she remembered that the stained-glass window had made it harder to see the identification number, which turned out to be too smudged to read anyway. She started to run again and found the aisle with the window at the end of it, they stopped and she let go of him as she saw her, carefully placed where Abbey had left her.

‘What is she?’ Abbey finally managed to say through her breathlessness.

Parker carefully took the creature from her and looked at her with the same affection Abbey had.

‘She’s a species of Lynx, I believe. It’s hard to tell because she has no fur, which is their most distinctive feature. She’s very young, too; they normally get much bigger than this. She’s North American in origin, from Minnesota, I believe, or thereabouts. Did you know that the name Minnesota comes from the Sioux Indian language, it means sky-tinted water …’

Abbey’s tears flowed freely as he described the beautiful surrounding to her. She was exhausted, not just with the job but with the work of being her, of being the Abbey she had been for the last five years. She felt the walls she had built crumble against her will. She wanted to be with Parker, to listen to him talk, to watch him, to not feel manipulated or used, to allow someone in.

Before she knew what she was doing she grabbed Parker by the collar and pulled him close, kissing him on the lips. He pulled back, surprised, and then his gaze softened into something so gentle, so completely sincere. His eyes moved from hers on to her lips, she held her breath for what seemed like an eternity as he moved in slowly, the multi-coloured light from the window bouncing off of his perfectly cut cheekbones. He kissed away the tear she could feel hovering on her lips, then the kiss turned deeper and unlike anything she had ever known, full of restraint and anticipation.

As Abbey held on to Parker she could not feel the weight of her memories any more. Parker had not tried to beguile her, he had not tried to put her at ease. She liked the way he was so eloquent and yet sometimes when he spoke to her about himself he tripped over his words, apologising for his most attractive feature. She could tell every word was calculated and thought out even when he had trouble saying them. She knew he wasn’t being completely honest with her either, but she didn’t mind. She recognised the lies for what they were, small mercies, to protect her from – what? From feeling uneasy? From a truth he didn’t think she could handle? He was not smooth, he was not charming, he was awkward, aloof and somewhat naive. If Abbey could have she would suspend time for ever and exist outside of reality, outside of fear, outside of disappointment. She would freeze that exact moment and never move forward. She imagined the scene of her and Parker kissing in front of the stained-glass window, trapped inside a snow globe, where the pure beauty could be admired for ever.

What came next was always a let-down, maybe not immediately, but eventually there would be something, there always was. She had tried to get close to people, to men, since she left college, but the relationships never lasted. Men always wanted something Abbey was just not prepared to give. There would always be a part of Abbey still sitting on Christian’s bed; she had never really left.

Parker finally pulled away. Abbey was breathless, dizzy. His eyes, for the first time she allowed herself to look into those eyes, so cold, so clear. She thought of the phrase he had used before, it so perfectly described them. Sky-tinted water. He had interlocked his fingers with hers; she could feel his heartbeat through his fingertips, thumping hard and fast.

‘We’re going to start on this lot now.’ A voice broke the spell and she remembered where she was, the invisible magnet between them had been defused. She let go of his hands and resumed her position as overseer of the operation. When she turned back, Parker had gone.

The Friend

Then

Christian’s kisses were deeper and more passionate now. Abbey had opened her eyes and checked that in her drunken stupor she hadn’t mistakenly started kissing someone else. He brushed his hand against her underpants and she thought about her beige tango knickers and suddenly wished she had worn the thong after all.

She heard the click on the door opening and jumped back, startled. Relief swept over her when she saw it wasn’t Dani but Jamie. Then she blushed as she saw that Christian’s hand was still between her legs. She put her hand on his wrist and tried to pull his hand away, but he resisted and kept it there, still gently stroking the top of her thigh. She looked up at Jamie, expecting him to leave the room when he realised his intrusion, but he stepped inside and closed the door behind him.

‘Christian?’ She pulled at Christian’s hand again but still it wouldn’t move.

‘Don’t worry about him.’ Christian leaned in and kissed her harder than before, this time the butterflies in her stomach turned to big black moths, trapped and anxious.

‘I should go.’ She went to stand up but Christian’s hand grabbed her shoulder firmly and Jamie moved closer, unbuttoning his shirt. At that moment she realised there was no way out of this room, not right now, she searched Christian’s face for a sign that she was wrong, but there was nothing. She didn’t recognise the face she was looking at.

‘Dani will be wondering where I am.’

‘She left already, said you should sleep it off.’ Christian undid the clasp of her dress with ease. Over the course of the evening Abbey had imagined him doing it many times, but her fantasies never allowed for this particular scenario. She crossed her arms to cover herself but what had felt like the most courageous choice of clothing only hours before now felt like the worst decision she had ever made. Her focus shifted to the noise outside the room, laughter and music, a song she loved. She cherished the song for one last moment as she knew in the future it would forever be associated with this moment and the moments to follow. The moment she lost her faith in humanity, the moment she discovered the fragility of fantasy and the moment she understood the higher you put someone on a pedestal the further they have to fall.

Disappointment swept over her in waves, mostly disappointment in herself, in how naive she had been. She looked at the door, it looked so far away. Her body vibrated with dread as Jamie moved closer. Her mouth felt so dry and her breathing laboured as she tried not to panic, she didn’t know why but she didn’t want them to think of her as vulnerable. She had to keep it together. She wanted to leave but she couldn’t. She wanted to get out. She had to get out. She closed her eyes and tried not to think about what was happening to her. Jamie sat on the other side of her and started to kiss her neck, his mouth felt cold and clammy. Her song played in the background, the romantic words twisted into a sinister threat as she slipped further and further away with every kiss, every touch. What would happen if she tried to leave? She really wanted to leave.

‘I should go, I have a test to study for tomorrow.’ Her voice felt so small and lost in the quiet room, the only other sound the heavy breathing and the muffled music through the door. ‘Please … stop …’

No one was listening. Jamie pressed his mouth on to hers and pushed her back on to the bed. She tried to pull herself up but her shoulders were pinned from either side. Jamie moved and Christian’s lips pressed against hers again, she could barely remember what she had felt like when he had kissed her for the first time just a little while ago. Everything had changed since then, the world had become such a different place in that short space of time. The only thing that she could think as the kissing turned to caressing and the caressing turned into something else entirely, was stupid, stupid, stupid. She wondered if she screamed would anyone come. Not only that but screaming seemed like such a massive overreaction, as though she would be causing a fuss over nothing. Stupid. She closed her eyes and tried not to think about what was happening to her. She felt the pressure of a knee driving itself between her legs, which ached from being held so tightly together. She knew it was Christian, he wouldn’t allow himself to come second to Jamie. There was an odd metallic taste in her mouth and she realised she had bitten into her pursed lips. She concentrated even harder on the music outside the room as he fumbled with his trousers and pulled hard at her underpants, ripping them loose. She held her breath as he pushed his way inside. Could he tell this was her first time? She braced herself as he ground against her until he let out a noise somewhere between a grunt and a groan before lowering his full weight on to her. She heard him panting into her ear and she felt sick again. She allowed herself to breathe. When he finally got up, she opened her eyes and saw Jamie undoing his flies and Christian slapping him on the back. It didn’t hurt this time, she wasn’t sure if this was because she had stopped feeling anything. Jamie was quicker, more frantic, she wished she had the guts to stare him in the face while he was doing it, but she just clamped her eyes shut again and waited for him to finish. She heard them talking but she couldn’t make out the words, they swirled and jumbled in her head until they were nonsense. All the reasons this was her fault ran through her mind as they both used her body, a body she no longer felt connected to, as though it had separated from her mind and she was able to judge the one thing independently from the other.

When they were done and gone she lay on the bed alone for a while, unable to do much more than fasten the dress clasp around her neck and wipe herself clean with a T-shirt from his laundry basket. Christian’s room, as cold as it had seemed when she first arrived, now looked clinical, sterile, hollow. The reason it had no character or personality was because Christian didn’t have a soul. He had shown her his real face and it was grotesque.

She lay there sore, empty and heartbroken. Stupid. Just this afternoon she had wished for Christian’s naked body to be pressed against hers but now it had happened she hated herself for ever liking him at all.

More immediately than that, she hated the fact that she would have to get home alone now, in this dress, it barely felt like a dress at all. She grabbed one of Christian’s sweaters from a chair and tried to cover up just to get from this prison to her room, her sanctuary. Totally sober as she walked through the debris of the party, people still littered around and through the French doors, she saw Christian and Jamie laughing with one of Dani’s friends.

‘There you are!’ She spun around to see Dani standing there with Christian’s oversized jacket wrapped around her shoulders, a message to the rest of the boys at the party: hands off, she belonged to him. Abbey thought about the sweater she was wearing and wanted to rip it off, she didn’t want to feel like his property, she didn’t want people to think that of her.

‘I thought you left,’ Abbey managed to say after a moment of hesitation. In that moment she debated in her mind whether to break down or whether just to get the hell out of there.

‘No, I was just about to come and get you. You were pretty out of it so I thought I would let you rest a bit.’ She should go to a hospital and get a morning after pill, she should do something.

‘I’m fine now, let’s just go home.’ Home. Home wasn’t in her halls with Dani, home was with her dad. Oh my God, her dad, he would be so disappointed in her. She just wanted to curl up in her pink room and have him fetch her Horlicks and watch black and white movies together all day. Tomorrow was Sunday, she knew he would pick her up if she called, she desperately wanted to call. It was only an hour’s drive. Would he know something was wrong if she called for no reason? Maybe she could pretend she needed to come home to do washing, yes, that was it; she would call in the morning.