The Tao of Martha (45 page)

On Sunday evening, after doing my I Was Right dance, we’re at Home Depot looking for another tree. Apparently seven feet
is
shorter than eight feet, regardless of any sort of row-based optical illusion. However, getting a second tree works out well, because I can put the seven-footer in the living room and do that one up with all my handmade decorations. The bigger tree can go in the great room, where we’ll deck it with our non–potentially craptacular ornaments.

“This one is fantastic!” Fletch exclaims, knocking the trunk against the ground to dislodge any stray needles. Few fall. “We have a winner.”

I peer at the tag. “Sweetie, says here it’s ten feet.”

“With a fresh cut, it’ll work, no problem.”

Yeah…if you believe in Christmas miracles.

But I don’t argue. Instead, I give him a side hug. “If this tree makes you happy, then I’m happy.”

With a cheeky grin, he turns to the clerk. “Sold!”

I think we all know how this is going to end.

E
verything I hoped to accomplish in this year of
Living
begins to coalesce as we approach Christmas. For example, I have a rollicking good time with Laurie making glittered ornaments and pinecones.

And Joanna and I laugh our butts off decorating sugar cookies while discussing what our eighteen-year-old selves would think of us twenty-seven years later. (Consensus: nerds. Old nerds. I wouldn’t have it any other way.)

I’m overwhelmingly proud when everyone genuinely appreciates what I knitted for them.

Using ribbon I had custom-made for the occasion on Martha-recommended NameMaker.com that read Ho, Ho, Ho, Motherfucker, I had a ridiculously good time putting together Christmas cookie jars for everyone. And is it really the holidays without cookies made to match my first book cover?

Normally when I wrap Christmas presents, I’m in a rush and do so as quickly and sloppily as possible. But this year, having become organized,
I blocked off a whole evening so I could wrap while watching the Christmas episode of
Downton Abbey
, followed by
The Sound of Music
. I believe my happiness is self-evident in the wrap jobs.

In crafting my own swags and greenery displays, I not only save money, but also create something beautiful and festive and welcoming.

Even though it’s temporarily hidden by the second tree, I love the vintage dog wall I’ve started over Maisy’s old favorite sitting spot. Although technically, I use English bulldog photos, I feel they perfectly capture Maisy’s essence. As I find other items that remind me of her, I’ll add them. And if I could somehow make the portraits fart on command, then it would almost be like she was here.

For now, Hambone’s doing her best to fulfill that portion of Maisy’s legacy.

I still miss Maisy every single day, yet I carry her Tao
with me. I want to be awesome, give awesome, and get awesome, so tonight we’ve amended our holiday party from last year. Instead of the massive event we threw in 2011, tonight will be a lot more low-key. Mostly it’s going to be a bunch of good friends sitting around playing Apples to Apples and Catch Phrase and drinking wine.

The menu’s simple, and I cooked all the dishes in the past couple of days, so there’s no need to scramble before the gathering. Everything’s in a CorningWare pan, ready to be popped in the oven when the time comes. Julia and Finch are already here, and we have enough time before the party that I get to teach her how to make my dipped peppermint pops.

Will tonight be the spectacle that it was last year?

No…because it doesn’t need to be.

I don’t have to host a big party to give 2012 the finger, because in the scheme of things and despite a significant loss, it’s been the best year of my life.

By spending the
year in the pursuit of the Tao of Martha, I’ve indeed gotten my groove back. I feel like me again. I’m substantially happier than I was when I started this year, for reasons great and small. I mean, I like knowing where my shoes are and I don’t miss the Drawer of Shame. Having a consistent way of storing everything makes my life so much easier. And if I want to whip up a batch of peppermint pops with my buddy, it’s so gratifying to have ingredients in stock and in place so that’s possible. I have great appreciation for the fact that Attempted Feline Homicides are down a hundred percent around here.

More important, I’m proud that I’ve done my part to make this a better year for those I care about. I’m pleased that Fletch (and his beard) have flourished in what’s now a more stable, peaceful household. I love that we’ve honored Maisy’s life by rescuing another pit bull. And maybe this sounds weird, but I’ve had such fun not only discovering my limitations, but finding creative ways to work around them.

As we rapidly approach the end of the year, I’m sorry to see 2012 go, but I’m excited for a new year as well, as I’ve finally discovered and come to embrace the ultimate piece of the Tao of Martha:

The only way to fail is not to try.

F
irst, I’d be nowhere without the decades of effort Martha Stewart put in to establish herself as the one true domestic diva. Every time I give a thoughtful and appropriate handmade gift or create a fantastic dinner out of random ingredients, I’m in your debt. Sorry for getting a bit shouty back in the July chapter, but as a dog lover yourself, you likely understand my stress. Anyway, thank you for making me TEAM MARTHA. (And for your buttercream recipe. Always your buttercream recipe.)