The Syndicate (11 page)

My throat tightens. “What?”

She brings her hands back around to the front and crosses her arms. “I heard a growl outside my window…so I looked out and saw it running…then I saw you.”

I don’t say anything, because my concentration is fading and I don’t know what to say or deny.

Somewhere over my confused thoughts, I hear her whisper, “Thank you.” And before I can say anything back, she steps forward…so close, and the fresh scent of mangos and strawberries races up my nose, causing me to inhale a deep, intoxicating breath. She tilts her head up so her mouth is just below mine. The closeness sends my brain spinning.

I don’t even know what’s happening, but I feel my palms on the sides of her soft face as her body presses against mine. The unfamiliar temptation I feel causes me to pull my hands back until she puts her arms around my waist. Then I find myself kissing her like I’ve never kissed anyone. Like if I don’t kiss her now, I’ll never have another chance.

As a need to hold onto her takes over, I pick her up. In the same motion, she wraps her legs around me, like she feels the same way.

Not sure where to go, I lean her against the wall. Suddenly her lips no longer satisfy my hunger. I need more, so I taste the left side of her neck. When that’s not enough, I taste the other side until she groans in my ear, luring me back to her lips.

I never noticed her nails before, but I feel them under my shirt, pressing into my back. It causes me to hold her tighter, and the next thing I know she’s pulling off my shirt. Lifting my arms that high sends a sting through my side, but I don’t falter.

Here we are, me bare chested, and her in only a T-shirt.
What are we doing?
I think.
I don’t even know this girl.
Then I decide that I don’t even care.Pulling her away from the wall, I carry her down the hallway, hoping my memory serves me well in the darkness. On my way, I’m still kissing her. I pull back briefly to give her a chance to tell me no, but she just leans her lips back into mine.

By the time I reach her room and lay her down, I’m ready to fall into nowhere and everywhere with her, but my thoughts are clouded.

“Riley,” I say, pulling back. “I’m in your bedroom, and I shouldn’t be.”

She softly kisses my neck, sending all my muscles into overdrive. “Why not?” she asks.

“Because I don’t want to sleep.”

My answer sends her leg around my waist, locking me to her. She whispers, “Then don’t.”

Right then and there, I decide she can keep me this way all night. Without any further hesitation, I press myself to her and enter into a place where I don’t plan on leaving anytime soon.

I
wake up, almost forgetting where I am. But a quick glimpse of purple and turquoise polka-dot sheets tells me I’m not at home. And my bare chest and boxers tell me I’ve done something I probably wasn’t supposed to. I sit up and find myself alone in her bed. I look around for anything that’ll knock some sense into me, and see Riley in the corner. She’s sitting there with her knees pulled to her chest, all wrapped up in a blanket.

For a minute, our gazes lock, but she breaks away, clenching her eyes shut and shaking her head.

“Um,” I say. Then I shake my head too, because I’m pretty sure that was a stupid thing to say. “Are you okay?” I add.

She buries her head into her knees. “No.”

“Um.” Damn it. I shake my head again, but I don’t know what else to say. All I know is that something feels wrong. Like I’m in trouble. When you wake up half naked with a girl and she says she’s not okay, you should probably worry.

I start the rundown of what happened last night.
Did I do something wrong?
Well yes, Vasi, you dumbass. You slept with a target.
I shake my head at my stupidity, but somewhere else inside there’s a feeling that it wasn’t wrong. It didn’t feel wrong. In fact, everything about her felt so right.

“I’m sorry,” I say, and then wince, because I say that phrase way too much around her. But I can’t help it. I don’t want her to be hurt, and right now she’s not looking so good.

“No, don’t be,” she says. “It’s my fault.”

Now I’m confused. My memory tells me that I’m the one who came to her house. The one who picked her up, the one who took her to this room. But she
is
the one who made a move to kiss me, and she’s the one who took off my shirt.

I stand up and find my clothes. “Why does it have to be a fault?” I ask.

She muffles a laugh between her knees. “Because you don’t even like me, and I can’t believe we just did that.”

My words are caught in the back of my throat, so I take a brief moment to pull my pants up. I can’t bring myself to tell her otherwise, because I don’t know what I feel for her, so I say, “I don’t
dis
like you.”

Wrong choice.

She lets out a long, exaggerated sigh and stands up. Beneath her blanket, she’s wearing her red T-shirt again, but this time she has on flannel pants under it. She walks past me without saying anything. All I want is to take my words back, but don’t. I’m too busy trying to reckon with her hair, a disarray of curls shooting out in several directions. It makes me smile, and then I decide that maybe I do like her.

I turn and follow her out of the room, but she quickly shuts the bathroom door in my face.
That’s fair, I suppose.
But wait a minute. She’s the one who seduced me. I didn’t come here to violate her personal space or make any promises. She asked for it, so why is she making me feel guilty? With that last thought, I become annoyed that she’s reneging on
her
decision to be withme, and then I remember why I don’t have a girlfriend.

I had one in high school, a girl named Celeste, and things quickly went from good to awful. Right after we did it, she started getting all clingy. That wasn’t necessarily bad, but when I had somewhere to be (family business), she pitched a fit about it. “Why aren’t you spending time with me? Where are you going? Who are you with? Why are you trying to hurt my feelings? My friends say you’re up to something. Are you cheating? I can find someone who
wants
to spend time with me.”

It was like nails on a chalkboard, so I broke it off. She started dating someone on the football team the next week, and me? I decided female hormones and me didn’t mix. And that goes for right now too.

I go back into her bedroom and finish putting on my clothes. I’m making my way down the hall when I hear a sniffle.
Is she crying? Seriously?

I head for her front door, but I hear my mom’s voice stabbing at my brain.
“Vasile, you’d better not leave her like that. I didn’t raise you to be insensitive.”
Her voice is jabbing at me and I’m trying to ignore it, but my mom’s voice was like music to my ears when she was alive, and I can’t pretend like I don’t want to listen.

Her voice keeps me on the right path, keeps me being someone who’d make her proud. I just can’t help wondering why she didn’t speak up sooner. Like, before I even knocked on the door last night.
Fine, Mom. I’ll say something nice. And then I’m leaving.

I knock on the bathroom door. By now, her sniffles have turned into sobs.

“Riley, you okay in there?”

“Do I sound okay?”

“No.”

“Good. Now you know, so go away. Seriously.”

“I’m not going away.”

“Look. I don’t need you protecting me. I don’t need you feeling obligated to do anything anymore. Just please leave. I’ll be fine.”

“I’m not leaving until you open the door.”

“You’ll be waiting awhile.”

“Look, I don’t have time for this. Please, just open the door.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“Why? So you can call me the devil and tell me how wrong it all was.”

“No.”

“Then what?”

“Because my dead mother just told me to say something nice to you. That’s why. Now please open the door.”

There’s no reply, but the sniffling ceases. Either I’ve shocked her or she thinks I’m crazy. I lift up my fist to knock again, when the door opens.

“What?” she says, her eyes red and puffy. I stare in shock, pretty sure this is the worst she’s ever looked in the morning, but she still has some hold over me that makes me feel weird inside. “Say something nice then.”

I clear my throat, suddenly speechless.

“Nice,” she says, moving past me.

I instinctively reach out and grab her elbow, turning her back toward me.

“Look. I’m sorry.”
Dang, those words again.
“Listen. I don’t do this.” I make a circular motion with my hand to show her I mean everything—coming here, touching her, and staying last night. “I don’t make a habit of being with girls, and I especially wouldn’t spend time with a girl I don’t like. At least not in that way.”

She’s looking at me like I’ve stopped midsentence, waiting for more. I got nothing. I’ve said something nice, so I nod and turn toward the door. Then I turn back with an itching curiosity to ask her a question.

“Why did you go there with me, if you think I don’t like you?”

She exhales a small chuckle and rolls her eyes. “I don’t know. Maybe because I thought it would make everything okay. But it didn’t. I’m still crazy and you’re still going to leave me alone.”

Shaking my head, I attempt to offer some peace of mind. “Look, I haven’t seen any Hybrids all week. I think you’re good.”

“No I’m not.” She throws her hands in the air and drops them in defeat. “The nightmares are still there, and last night they were the
worst
.”

Something urges me to step closer to her. “What kind of nightmare?”

“A nightmare with more monsters, and you…you were one too. But you didn’t hurt me. You just looked at me with disgust.”

Her eyes glass over.

“I’m not a monster,” I say. “I may be a lot of things, but I’m not a monster. And you don’tdisgust me.” A tear spills over, and I reach up to wipe it away. She’s definitely having an emotional moment, but somehow her emotions don’t bother me like Celeste’s did.

“I’m sorry,” she says, backing away. “I’m not normally a basket case. I don’t know why I get so weak around you.”

She backpedals until she can’t go any farther, and then looks like she wants to slide back into the corner. My reflex is to lunge toward her, grabbing her elbows as she folds into my chest.

Ma? This is not part of the deal.

“Stop whining, Vasile.”

I’m fighting the urge to hold her, but I can’t stop. She smells so sweet, and being this close only highlights how small and fragile she feels. Thoughts pass through my mind as I try to remember if I was gentle enough with her last night. I think I was. There isn’t an ounce in me that doesn’t want to treat her with love and respect.
Did I just say love? What the…?

“Yes, Vasile, you did.”

I check my thoughts and motion to let go of her like she has cooties, but she’s so limp, she’s going to crumble right to the floor. Without thinking, I scoop her up and carry her out to the living room and set her on the sofa. “Come on, Riley. Don’t be like this.”

She shakes her head. “I’m okay, really. I’ll get over it.”

“You don’t look okay.”

“Thanks,” she says wiping her nose on her sleeve.

“Well, you don’t. But you may have a good reason. Do you want to tell me more about the dream?”

She looks up, the whites of her eyes getting clearer, making the green stand out again. “I think I’ve shared enough of my mind for one day.”

“No, not really.”

She laughs sarcastically. “You like hearing a crazy girl talk monsters?”

“No, not especially. But it’s better than some other things you could say.”

“Like what? Asking if you’re going to be my boyfriend now? Don’t worry. You’re off the hook. I’m good. I’m over it.”

“Over what?”

She stands with renewed strength. “My own drama. I’m sorry. I had a moment. It’s done. Over. You can leave now. I’m fine. Tell your mom thanks for the kind words.”

She opens the front door and motions for me to leave. This irritates me, as does the mention of my mother.

I walk over and shut the door hard enough for her to cower. She’s so small that I nearly have to bend my knees to make sure I’m in her line of sight. “Look. I don’t know what your problem is, but you’re making my head spin. I’m sorry. There, I said it again, and hopefully for the last time. I’m tired of it. I’m tired of you making me feel confused. I’m tired of going against direct orders and risking my life. Tired of you making me want to come here all the time, making me want you
period
. It’s exhausting.

“One minute you’re tempting me, the next you’re groping me, and the next you’re throwing me out. In case you didn’t notice, I liked you. I liked you enough to go against orders to kill you. I liked you enough to come back here to make sure you were safe. And I liked you enough to give in to
all
of it last night. So now you know. I hope you have a fantastic, safe life. I’m out of here.”

I move to open the door again, and she pushes it shut with her hand. Before I realize what’s happening, she has her arms around me again. “I’m sorry,” she says. “I’m just trying really hard to keep it together.” She’s clinging to me with her arms around my waist, so tight it hurts my stitches, but I ignore it. My brain tells me to put my arms around her in return, so I do. “I’m not this nutty. I swear. I don’t want to make you do anything you don’t want to.”

Her words are muffled in my shirt, but I can still make them out. “You just don’t understand. My whole life, I’ve thought I was crazy. I’ve thought hell was coming for me. And you….you…took it away, and all I wanted to do was cling to you. I wanted you to make it all stay away. And I’m sorry. I swear. I don’t want anything from you. You can do whatever you’re supposed to. I’m okay. Really.”

She backs away, and there are fewer traces of puffiness to her face, but her hair is still out of whack. Even so, she’s the most perfect girl I’ve ever seen. I don’t know where this is going, or even where I want it to go. But I like where I’m standing, and the way she looks at me as if I’m the only person in the world. I like the way she clings to me for protection; the way she manages to make me feel like I don’t have to be here unless I want to; the way she felt last night. I could’ve kissed every inch of her and it wouldn’t have been enough.