The Swiss Family RobinZOM (Book 4) (6 page)

Ernest followed the flood of students making their way to their classes. He turned a corner, nose buried in his book, and proceeded up the stairs. He entered the classroom and took a seat by himself on a two-seater desk. He took out his textbook and a pen, unperturbed by the empty seat beside himself, the only one in the whole class.

Mr Kappel discussed something with the school secretary at the door, their voices low whispers. The secretary nodded and left. Mr Kappel read a document as a girl followed him into the classroom.

“Listen up,” Mr Kappel said to the class. “We have a new student starting with us today. Miss Tanja Klein.” He turned to the girl. “Would you like to introduce yourself?”

The girl turned to face the class, hands clasped in front of herself. Controlled, calm.

“Well, my name’s Tanja,” she said. “I’m originally from Germany, but we travelled around a lot. My father’s a hotel manager.”

“Where have you lived?” Mr Kappel said.

“Austria, France, England, Scotland, New York, Manila, Seoul, Tokyo, Beijing… and others.”

“Wow,” Mr Kappel said. “You must have experienced a great deal.”

“Some,” Tanja said modestly.

“Has your education suffered as a result?” Mr Kappel said.

Tanja smiled.

“We’ll have to see,” she said.

“Thank you,” Mr Kappel said. “Please take a seat.”

Tanja surveyed the room. She headed toward the empty seat beside Ernest. She smiled at him as she sat down.

“Hey,” she said.

Ernest looked back at her, then away, his hands fiddling with the cover of his textbook.

“Hey,” he said.

“Okay class, turn to page thirty-seven in your textbooks,” Mr Kappel said. “Today we’re going to study photosynthesis.”

The students groaned.

“It’s not that bad,” Mr Kappel said. “Come on. Open up.”

“Do you mind if we share?” Tanja said to Ernest. “I haven’t got my textbooks yet.”

Ernest said nothing and pushed his textbook over to the middle of the table. He flipped the book open to page thirty-seven. Tanja eyed the notations and bookmark tags jutting out of the top of the book.

“Wow,” she said. “If you’ve already studied the whole book why are we doing photosynthesis now?”

“We haven’t studied the rest of the book yet,” Ernest said, turning red.

“Then how come you’ve got all these notes?” Tanja said, fingering them.

“I studied by myself,” Ernest said.

Tanja’s eyes shone.

“The whole textbook?” she said. “By yourself?”

“It’s fun,” Ernest said with a shrug, colouring further.

“Chemistry is fun?” Tanja said.

“It is to me,” Ernest said. “Then again, most things are. Look, I’m the biggest nerd in this classroom, probably even the whole school. You don’t have to sit next to me next time if you don’t want to. You’re the new kid. You’re allowed to make mistakes.”

Tanja smiled.

“Good to know,” she said. “Thanks for your honesty.”

“You’re laughing at me,” Ernest said.

“No,” Tanja said. “Just surprised at how lucky I am. I need to catch up, and here’s exactly the guy I should be talking to.”

Ernest smiled.

“No one’s ever described meeting me as lucky before,” he said.

“As you said, I’m new,” Tanja said. “I’m allowed to make mistakes, right?”

“Right,” Ernest said, eyes downcast.

“Cheer up!” Tanja said. “It was a joke.”

“Oh, right,” Ernest said, feigning a smile. “Have you been to many schools?”

“I’ve lived in over a dozen countries,” Tanja said. “What do you think?”

“Must be hard to get used to the curriculum if you keep moving around like that,” Ernest said.

“You soon get used to wherever you are,” Tanja said. “After a while you forget about it and just concentrate on the more important subjects.”

“Right,” Ernest said. “Like maths and science.”

Tanja giggled.

“No,” she said. “Not maths and science. I meant things like life lessons and ways of thinking. Culture. Social responsibility. Things like that.”

“Oh,” Ernest said. “Did your other schools offer those kinds of classes?”

Tanja giggled again.

“You’re cute,” she said.

Ernest blushed.

“Another first?” Tanja said.

Ernest nodded.

“No, they didn’t offer it as a class,” Tanja said. “I just went out and helped people. Not everything worth knowing can be learnt from books, you know. Sometimes you have to pick things up yourself.”

She bent over the textbook as Mr Kappel began to lecture. Ernest looked at Tanja out the corner of his eyes and frowned.

Ernest knew something was wrong the moment he stepped into the classroom. Jenny Montrose and Yvonne Blatt, the quintessential gossips, who barely even paused to breathe while chatting, stopped dead the moment Ernest appeared in the doorway. They wouldn’t even look at him. Neither would Bernd.

“What’s up, Bernd?” Ernest said.

Bernd, eyes heavy-lidded, as if he was half asleep, started, and looked surprised Ernest had spoken to him. They had never been the closest of friends.

“Haven’t you heard?” Bernd said.

“Heard what?” Ernest said.

“It’s Ralf,” Bernd said. “He got hurt over the weekend while skiing. Fell down the mountain, they said.”

Ernest’s chest felt tight.

“Then who’s going to be our fifth member?” he said. “The final quiz is tonight!”

“We’ll have to forfeit,” Jenny said.

A rock fell to the pit of Ernest’s stomach.

“No…” he gasped. “But we’ve worked so hard!”

“Unless we find a replacement it’s over,” Bernd said.

“Then we’ll have to find someone,” Ernest said. “Even with an idiot on our team we’ll be solid.”

“Is your brother free?” Jenny said to Ernest, winking to Yvonne.

“Jack?” Ernest said. “No, he’s too young.”

“Not Jack,” Jenny said. “Fritz.”

Ernest almost burst into laughter until he realised Jenny was being serious.

“He wouldn’t be interested,” Ernest said.

“Shame,” Jenny said.

Ernest dropped his backpack and took a seat.

“Where’s Mr Kappel?” he said.

“Probably somewhere pulling out his hair,” Jenny said.

“What’s left of it,” Yvonne said with a titter.

Mr Kappel sauntered into the room. Yvonne shrunk back into her seat, worried he’d overheard her remark. By the big smile on his face, that appeared unlikely.

“By now I’m sure you’ve all heard the news concerning poor Ralf,” Mr Kappel said. “The good news is we have found a replacement.”

Ernest let out a sigh of relief.

“Who is it?” he said.

Tanja came in.

“Hey guys!” she said.

“
Her?
” Jenny said. “But she only started school today!”

“No one else was interested,” Mr Kappel said. “We should be grateful to have her.”

“If me being here’s a problem, I can go,” Tanja said.

“No,” Ernest said. “Stay, please. You’re doing us all a favour.”

Ernest glared at Jenny, who shied away.

“Now that’s all settled,” Mr Kappel said, clapping his hands, “how about we get down to some practice?”

The students stood in a line. Mr Kappel asked Jenny to choose between two topics: Popular Culture or Physics. She chose Popular Culture. Then Mr Rappel asked her a series of questions, which she answered competently, getting only one wrong. Then it was Yvonne’s turn, then Bernd. Finally it was Ernest’s turn. He chose History.

“Which Swiss town is the only one to have successfully defended against a French invasion in the eighteenth century?” Mr Kappel said, taking his role as question master very seriously.

“Chucerne,” Ernest said.

“Correct,” Mr Kappel said. “Our fair town. For how long did Chucerne defend herself?”

“Five weeks,” Ernest said.

“Correct,” Mr Kappel said. “Who were the attackers?”

“The French Revolution army,” Ernest said.

“Correct,” Mr Kappel said. “Which year?”

“1798,” Ernest said.

“Correct,” Mr Kappel said.

Then Mr Kappel turned to Tanja.

“Don’t be nervous, Tanja,” he said. “Just take your time. Are you ready?”

Tanja nodded.

“The topics you can choose from are History or Culture,” Mr Kappel said.

Tanja smiled.

“Culture, please,” she said.

Mr Kappel grimaced.

“Are you certain that’s what you want to go for?” he said.

“Yes,” Tanja said. “Why not?”

Mr Kappel turned to the others.

“If you all were given the same option what would you choose?” he said.

“History,” they all said at once.

“And why is that?” Mr Kappel said. “Ernest?”

“Because contestants score seventy-three percent of the answers right if they answer a question in the History category,” Ernest said. “Compared to forty-seven in the Culture category.”

“And that’s our secret weapon!” Mr Kappel said, bringing his fist down on his lectern. “So long as we always follow the logic of the game we can’t lose! You all already know as much as you’re going to about your various topics of interest. There’s nothing much we can do about that now. But we can learn to play the rules of the game.”

Tanja put her hand up.

“Yes?” Mr Kappel said.

“Sir, why don’t we just pick the subject each of us knows the most about?” Tanja said.

“Because no matter how much you know about a given subject you’re likely to get a question you don’t know, whereas if you choose an easier category you are more likely to be able to answer it, even if it’s not your special area of knowledge. I realise it sounds counterintuitive.”

“But doesn’t that defeat the whole purpose of playing?” Tanja said.

“The purpose is to win,” Mr Kappel said.

Tanja looked to the other students, looking for support, but finding none.

“I see,” she said. “I thought this was supposed to be fun.”

“Oh, it will be,” Mr Kappel said. “Since when is winning not fun?”

Tanja smiled politely.

“I thought the purpose was to enjoy it while you’re doing it,” she said.

“You don’t enjoy winning?” Mr Kappel said.

“I think winning is not important,” Tanja said.

“Don’t let your team mates hear you say that!” Mr Kappel said with a grin. “Should History come up as an option, take it. So, your History category questions are…”

Tanja performed well, answering all but two questions correctly. After a couple of rounds of practicing Mr Kappel gave them a break.

“How do you manage to remember so many things?” Tanja said to Ernest. “You got every question right.”

“I don’t know,” Ernest said. “I just remember reading them somewhere.”

“You have a photographic memory?” Tanja said.

“It’s not really like a photograph, but I can just see the information in my head,” Ernest said.

“It’s impressive, whatever it is,” Tanja said. “Do you think we’ll win?”

Ernest shrugged.

“According to you it doesn’t really matter, does it?” he said.

Tanja chuckled.

“Yeah,” she said. “Sorry about that.”

Ernest smiled back.

“It’s okay,” he said.

“Okay, break time’s over!” Mr Kappel said. “Back in the middle of the room, please.”

“Bill! Over here!” Liz said, waving him over to an empty seat at the front of the audience.

“Sorry I’m late,” Bill said. “I got off at the wrong stop.”

“It’s all right,” Ernest said. “It hasn’t started yet.”

Stagehands milled about on the stage, setting up the podiums. Bill joined his family with a smile on his face.

“You look happy,” Liz said.

“Do I?” Bill said.

“Something happen at the office?” Liz said.

“Nothing unusual,” Bill said. “Is everyone else here?”

Jack and Fritz sat with their arms crossed, staring into space.

“They’re here in spirit, at least,” Liz said.

Francis sat excitedly watching the preparation on the stage.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” a voice over the speakers said. “Please take your seats. The quiz is about to begin.”

“Good luck,” Bill said to Ernest, who climbed the stairs and went off-stage.

The audience settled down in their seats. A guy came out onto the stage, a thick-trunked man with a strong bearing.

“We’re very proud to present the final of the 2015 Bright Young Minds competition between Bern Comprehensive and Chucerne High School,” the man said. “They’ve each beaten off all comers and will today settle just who has the brightest young mind. Please welcome the students of Bern Comprehensive, and our very own Chucerne High School!”

The audience clapped as the two teams took to the stage, taking their places behind individual podiums.

“Hello everyone. My name’s Klaus Farber. I’m going to be your host this evening. We’re going to have a three-round winner-stays-on head-to-head. We’re going to begin with the captain of each team, that’s Ernest for the blues, Leon for the reds. On your buzzers. Here’s the first question: Isabel Archer is the title character of which novel by Henry James?”

Ernest hit his buzzer.

“Yes, Ernest?” Farber said.

“The Portrait of a Lady,” Ernest said.

“That’s correct,” Farber said.

The light above the opposing team’s captain went off and another came on, highlighting the second team member on the red team.

“You can choose the next topic, Ernest.” Farber said. “Sport or Music?”

“Music,” Ernest said.

“Who, in 1997, became the second pop or rock musician to be knighted?” Farber said.

Ernest hit his buzzer again.

“Paul McCartney,” he said.

“Correct,” Farber said.

The second red team member’s spotlight turned off, and another beamed down on the third team member.

“Your next subject: Sport or Humanities,” Farber said.

“Sport,” Ernest said.

“In the 1950s, which tennis player entered the Wimbledon Ladies’ singles championship three times, winning on each occasion?” Farber said.

Ernest hit his buzzer.

“Althea Gibson,” he said.

“Incorrect,” Farber said. “I will pass it over to the red team.”

The third member of the opposing team, a skinny boy with a bowl haircut, thought for a moment.

“I’m going to have to hurry you,” Farber said.

“Maureen Connolly?” the skinny boy said.

“Correct,” Farber said.

The light above Ernest went off, another lighting up Jenny.

“Please choose your next category,” Farber said. “Humanities or Film.”

“Film, please,” the skinny boy said.

“Which Alfred Hitchcock film of 1951 features Farley Granger as tennis star Guy Haines who finds himself involved in a murder plot?” Farber said.

Jenny hit her buzzer.

“Strangers on a Train,” she said.

“Correct,” Farber said. “Humanities or US Politicians?”

“US Politicians,” Jenny said.

“Which Secretary of State resigned from Jimmy Carter’s administration in 1980 over the failed attempt to rescue US hostages in Tehran?” Farber said.

Both contestants shook their heads.

“No?” Farber said. “The answer’s Cyrus Vance. Next question: To what political office was Dean Rusk appointed in 1961, as a result of which he played a leading role in the Cuban Missile Crisis the following year?”

There was a pause. Jenny shrugged and hit her buzzer.

“Jenny?” Farber said.

“Secretary of State?” Jenny said.

“Correct,” Farber said.

Jenny squealed with surprise and excitement.

“The reds have just one contestant remaining,” Farber said. “Stand by your buzzers. Jenny, choose the final category for this round, please. Humanities or Novels.”

“Novels,” Jenny said.

“The novels Midnight’s Children, The Thirty-Nine Steps, Robinson Crusoe and Tristram Shandy all open with which word?” Farber said.

Jenny hit her buzzer.

“I,” she said.

“Correct!” Farber said. “The blues have won the first round!”

The audience got to their feet, clapping.

“Congratulations!” Farber said. “But the blue team must win another round if they are to be victorious. Let’s take a short break.”

After ten minutes, during which Mr Kappel gave the Chucerne team a rousing pep talk, the students took their places behind their podiums once again.

The second round began like the first, with Ernest taking out the first two opposing contestants, but then a question on geology threw him, and he was out. Jenny took out one more contestant before joining Ernest in the dark. Yvonne and Bernd were out immediately. Then it was Tanja’s turn.

“Things certainly are heating up now!” Klaus said. “Each team has just one contestant remaining. I’m sure I don’t need to remind you that if the Chucerne team answer correctly, they win. If the reds win, they win the round and stay in for a chance to win the competition.

“You took out Birgit on the last question, Tanja, so now it’s your turn to choose the category,” Farber said. “Culture or History?”

There was a long pause. Tanja’s eyes flickered from one option to the other.

“Culture,” she said.

Mr Kappel, sitting on the front row of the audience, squawked, his breath squeezed from his throat, eyes wide as saucers.

“In the Philippines, what are the names of traditional abodes on stilts?” Farber said.

Tanja hit her buzzer, lips curling up into a smile.

“They’re called Bahay Kubo, Balay or Nipa Huts,” she said.

“Correct,” Farber said.

The crowd roared and the host’s words were lost, and little multi-coloured squares of paper rained from above.