The Sweetness of Liberty James (33 page)

Savannah was telling her all about life in Abu Dhabi; the initial excitement, followed by the realisation that Western women were mostly seen as tasteless, brash whores – sadly often true in the expat communities. She found the life there so different: glamorous and exciting, especially in the racing community, but she soon discovered that women were not expected to be involved or seen out of the home alone. She thought Khalid had only got to know her because she let slip when she first met him that her father was great friends with Henry Herbert, the famous trainer. He thought she might be able to help him get introduced to the British racing circle; difficult to enter and even harder to be accepted by.

They both adored their children, but after a while realised their lives were so separate. He became increasingly possessive; not, thought Liberty, a trait that Savannah would find easy to deal with, as she was nothing if not a free spirit. Savannah also told her of the long, empty days with nothing to do, as she wasn't allowed to work, and Khalid had insisted upon a fully staffed house. She had spent most of her days riding, and then became great friends with a psychotherapist who had gradually pulled out all her insecurities, none of which she had been aware of before.

‘She told me I had spent all my life running away from my birth. A load of it was trash, but I could see something in it. I suppose I had always felt to blame for Mummy's death. Pa never blamed me intentionally, but in angry moments when we were children Gray and Ed used to say if it weren't for me, Ma would still be here. I know they didn't mean it really, but still, I felt it deep inside me somewhere. That's why I had always run away.
The more I thought about it, the sillier it seemed to be away from the place I really love. I spent all my time telling the children about my home, and how I grew up, and how magical it was back here. You saw how excited they were this morning. Well, in Abu Dhabi, Khalid started asking me to stop talking about England, said they were his children and should be brought up as true Arabs, which of course is right, but it made me miss home even more. Eventually, I persuaded him they needed to know their grandpa and uncles, and reluctantly he agreed we could come for Christmas. But as soon as we arrived, he announced we should make the most of it as it would definitely not become a regular thing. I asked if we could travel with him when he comes for a race, and he said he had plans to send them away to school – Paris, then Switzerland – and when I said that's not for years, he said they were booked for next spring.

‘I went mad. They really are my life, and I told him he had no right, which of course is exactly what he does have. I told him I wanted a divorce. I thought he would fight tooth and nail. Arab men really think they own you. But it seems as though he has just abandoned us here. I don't know what to tell the children. They will be devastated. And yet, look at them. What a place to grow up!'

Liberty regarded the two youngsters, laughing as they trotted around their uncles. Happiness glowed from them. But having been through it herself, she was only too aware of the pain they faced if their parents were to separate, especially to different countries.

‘I'm sure you can come to some arrangement. He will realise how much he misses you all, and you can persuade him to let you come home more often.'

‘But I really hate it there!' Savannah cried with surprising force. ‘I only realised how trapped I felt as I stepped off the plane. Here I can wear what I like, say what I like, talk to men or women. He was in a bad mood last night because of my outfit. I mean, really! I've spent the past eight years covered
from wrist to ankle whenever we went out. One bit of cleavage and you would have thought I was Lady Godiva.'

‘Aren't you running again?' asked Liberty softly. ‘And think of the children.'

‘They are all I do think about! You wouldn't understand, but since I had both of them I just don't think of anything else. What people should do before they marry is ask not what do you want from your marriage, but how do you want your children to be brought up. If only I had known that Khalid is from the ‘be seen but not heard, and send them off to boarding school' train of thought, I would never have dreamt of having babies with him.'

Liberty brushed off the hurt she felt from her friend's selfish comment about not understanding. She knew Savannah had not meant it personally, and didn't realise herself how much Liberty would love to be in the position of battling with Percy over children's rights.

They now concentrated on keeping the children in check, otherwise, as Gray laughingly pointed out, ‘They might end up in Wales.' He, especially, was really enjoying the feeling of freedom.

‘Such a dazzling day,' called out Deirdre as her mare galloped past them. Liberty wondered what was causing her mother to be so carefree, as she was not the most confident of riders normally.

It really was one of those days that made you think there could be no evil in the world. The sun, low in the sky, glinted off frozen puddles and lit up the branches of the ancient oaks, beautiful in their simplicity. Without their clothing of leaves they looked like sculptures set on the hill.

They managed to encourage the children to turn in a wide circle, giving them the illusion of freedom without letting them know they were now headed home.

‘Do stay for supper,' Jonathan implored Deirdre as they clattered into the quadrangle. ‘Mrs Goodman will have enough for us all.'

‘Yes, do,' echoed Savannah and Gray. Edmund had already
handed his reins to one of the stable boys and was stalking back to the house.

Sasha and Hussein were dragging Liberty by her hands towards the house. She looked over her shoulder at J-T, who was dismounting slowly and carefully. ‘Can you walk?' she called.

‘My God! What have I done to my arse?'

Not wanting him to make crude references to his anatomy in front of the children she smiled warmly and told him how impressed she was with his riding, and he limped towards them.

Much as they wanted to go home and laze in hot baths, Liberty was needed to inspect the children's bedrooms and the toys Grandpa had filled their indoor treehouse with – his excitement at becoming a grandfather had led him to great extravagance and he had arranged with his forester a brilliant, magical construction from ancient twisted rhododendron branches and beech flooring, which filled a spare room in the house. It was like something out of Hogwarts and
The Hobbit
combined. The children's happiness was so contagious that Savannah, Liberty and Gray ended up having a tea party with teddy bears, a complete set of My Little Ponies, which they had to remember the names of, and a large pink rabbit, all squeezed into the child-friendly chairs, which had also been made by the forester. Meanwhile, J-T lounged on a comfortable sofa on the landing and rubbed his thighs.

Deirdre and Jonathan found themselves alone in the drawing room, standing warming their rears in front of the log fire. Jonathan coughed and said, ‘I do hope things haven't changed between us. I value your friendship more than you could know, and as much as I think we could make a great team, I do understand your reason for not wanting to take me in, so to speak. I would also like to apologise for Edmund. I don't know what the matter is with him. You didn't say anything to him when he was at The Nuttery, did you? I know how you like to stick your oar in. He seems distant. I only hope he isn't thinking of refusing to take over the estate.'

‘Why do you want to retire now?' asked Deirdre. ‘You love your position in the community. Everyone holds you in such high regard. I can't believe you want to pass on all the responsibility to Ed now.'

‘No, but I have seen so many problems when it's left until death. A child who has struggled to make his own way in life knows, nonetheless, that this huge responsibility will be landed on his shoulders eventually, and it still comes as a great shock when it's done earlier rather than later, but if the parent dies, it's almost impossible. And it's not helped by everyone in the neighbourhood hating change. I think if I gradually give him the responsibility now, I can be here to guide and assist, hopefully not hinder, be the buffer between the staff and Ed, introduce him to all the villagers and try to lessen the shock of it all happening at once.'

It made sense, although Deirdre just couldn't imagine the grumpy, stern Edmund ever being as popular on the estate as his father, who had such a knack of making everyone feel like his friend no matter what their background or breeding. Her first meeting with Jonathan was a prime example. When she and Alain had first set up home in Littlehurst, Deirdre delighted in creating her dream cottage garden. She had seen the beautiful Denhelm Park from her bedroom window, its driveway banked by primroses, violets and bluebells.
Well, where better to start?
she thought to herself.
No one will miss a few of each
. Every day for a week, she took her trowel and a shoulder bag for a walk down the drive. Looking around first, she would occasionally bend down, dig up a few of the prettiest specimens with good roots, and pop them into her bag. Quickly scuffing her shoes over the soil so the gap didn't show, she then casually strolled back to her garden and planted the stolen goodies.

Cowslips!
she thought excitedly one sunny day. Getting to work with her trowel, she forgot to look around first, and gasped as she felt a hand on her shoulder. Blushing furiously, she quickly stood up, tearing her new tie-died maxi skirt with
her heel (despite now being a DIY expert, gardener and country dweller, she hated wellies or flats). A pair of twinkling blue eyes in a carefree, unlined face met her own. The eyes belonged to a man in a tweed jacket, plus fours and brogues.
Not the gardener
, she thought rapidly.

‘Um, I was just, um, oh bugger, stealing flowers.'

‘Yes, I've been watching you all week. Should I set the hounds on you?' asked Twinkly-blue eyes.

‘Oh, gosh, please don't have me arrested. I just wanted to make my humble home look as pretty as this. My husband will be so cross. He's trying to open a new hotel and restaurant, and it would scupper all his chances if I am caught stealing. Will I go to prison for long? My friend Paloma spent a week in prison for stealing a loaf of bread . . .'

‘Well, now that I know your life history, do you want to include favourite colour and dress size, or would you rather come and have a sherry and meet my wife? She planted all these a couple of years ago, when she deigned to join me in this pile. I think she stole them from the banks leading up to Sissinghurst!'

And so Deirdre met Jonathan, and a lifelong friendship began. Both of them were so newly in love with their spouses that there was never any of the usual bother – apart from a basic acknowledgement of the other's attractiveness and friendly nature – of needing to flirt or charm, other than in a spontaneous way.

Deirdre was introduced to the lovely free spirit that was Helena, Jonathan's wife, and found herself promising not to take any more plants, which was appreciated. She offered to replace the ones she had taken, which was not. She invited her new-found friends to supper just as soon as Alain had time off work. And so the four of them became firm friends.

Deirdre felt that Gray must have been the obvious choice as Jonathan's heir, but his father stood by the eldest son rule and knew that with a few years of help and perhaps a good wife,
Edmund would manage the estate and its various businesses well.

‘What about girlfriends?' she asked Jonathan. ‘Is there a wonderful girl in Edmund's life who might be a potential wife?'

‘Not that I know of. I think both boys have such a halo around the memory of their mother that no girl has lived up to her. That's the problem when you lose someone too early. No memories of bad times. You just remember what was perfect.'

As if on cue, at that moment Edmund walked in, followed by Mrs Goodman and a tray of drinks. Edmund seemed to have taken a good look in the mirror and a happy pill, as he strode up to Deirdre and gave her a huge hug. She was so shocked that she did her usual thing and burst out laughing, which broke the ice.

‘I'm so sorry I was rude last night,' he said. ‘I didn't mean to be. Pa had shocked me by informing me that my life as I know it is over, and I have to take on this great heap of responsibility, and I think that hearing you two may marry was one shock too many.' He didn't add that his feelings for Liberty had also jolted him with fright and excitement. She had spent the day ignoring him, and he was aware he had been avoiding her, so it was hardly her fault she had barely said a word to him. It reminded him of being an awkward schoolboy; always so confident around his classmates, but belittled by his laughing sister and her friend. Maybe he had always loved Liberty?
Goddamn, you sound like a pathetic chick lit character! Pull yourself together
, he told himself sternly.

Pleased that things were now sorted out between the three of them, and his eldest was indeed a human being, Jonathan poured drinks.

Deirdre waited for half an hour before phoning Sarah to ask her to let the dogs out and turn the lights on.

‘So what did you say?' asked Sarah, breathless with excitement.

‘About what?'

‘When he asked you to marry him, of course. I've been waiting to hear all day.'

Deirdre wondered how this piece of information could have got out, but soon untangled the story. Mrs Goodman had phoned the butcher at the farm shop with her Christmas order that morning. He was one of Jonathan's tenants. His wife had probably answered the phone, and no doubt the two had chatted for a while about the hunt ball as they were great friends. Mrs G would never gossip on purpose, but once the information slipped out she would have asked her friend not to mention it to anyone, which meant it was already all round the village, and had reached the ears of Miss Scally, who passed on the news to Sarah when she cleaned the doctor's surgery. So Deirdre had to be quite succinct when she told Sarah that no, she would not be the next chatelaine of the park, and thanked her for looking after the dogs.