The Sweetest Thing (45 page)

And how will I tell Sophie that we’ll be leaving her chickens behind?

I didn’t appreciate animals before we moved here because I didn’t understand them. Now, I don’t want to be without them.

I can bake cakes wherever I am, but Jennie’s Cakes will never be the same. I doubt that I’ll have another Aga and there will be no more Farmers’ Markets, bartering for meat and honey, even lettuce.

There will be no more quirky community events, no more outings to see the tar barrels or wassail the trees.

I walk to the paddock gate to hide my face. Bracken starts nudging my pockets through the bars, looking for mints.

‘Mum, are you coming indoors?’ Adam calls.

‘In a minute.’ I can hardly speak.

‘Are you okay?’

‘Yep. I’m going to get Bracken some hay.’ I go into the stable where we store the hay and sit myself on a bale, bawling my eyes out. It isn’t for the house, or for the children, or for the animals … If I’m brutally
honest with myself, I’m crying for Guy, and what might have been.

The next morning I contact the estate agent who dealt with the sale of Jennie’s Folly, when it was still Uphill House, and within an hour he has a potential buyer through the door, a silver-haired man in his late fifties, dressed in a suit and tie, his Jaguar saloon parked outside. I leave the agent to show him around. It doesn’t take long.

‘He’s been here before, of course,’ the agent says, when he pops back in to give me an update. ‘He wanted to buy the place the first time round, but Mr Barnes turned him down.’

If my heart could sink any further, then it would.

‘You mean, he’s the developer?’

‘Yes, he can see the potential in this property. I wouldn’t be surprised if I hear back from him by the end of the day. He’ll snap it up.’

As the agent leaves by the front door, I hear the back door slam.

‘Adam?’ It must be him – he’s off school for a couple more days yet. ‘Lucky!’ I call, but there’s no answering bark. I rush out to see if I can see them, but Adam and the dog have disappeared. I’m annoyed with myself for letting him sneak out like that. I try Adam’s mobile, but it’s switched off.

I can’t motivate myself to do anything. I can’t even bring myself to bake a cake. I take myself off to the drawing room with a mug of coffee and sit on the sofa, wrapped in an old coat with my knees drawn up to my chin, staring at the ashes from last night’s fire in the grate. My coffee grows cold, and I picture the old house growing cold too when we move out. It will be
modernised, no doubt, its features stripped out and replaced with a soulless modern décor. The barn and stables will be converted. They’ll no longer house chickens and ponies.

I dig an old tissue out of one of the coat pockets and wipe away a tear.

I don’t know how long I sit there before I become aware of another presence in the room. Glancing out of the corner of my eye, I confirm that it’s Guy, but I knew that already from the tread of his feet and the dimensions of the shadow that he casts, standing in the light from the window.

‘I believe you’ve been avoiding me,’ he says gruffly as he walks over to the fire and stands to one side, facing me.

‘What did you expect?’ I straighten my legs and clasp my hands in my lap.

‘You’ve gone and done exactly as I predicted,’ he goes on. ‘The going gets tough so you walk away. I said you wouldn’t last a year.’

‘How did you find out?’

‘I heard the cars, but it was Adam who came to find me.’

‘Adam?’

‘He told me you were planning to move and you’d already had the estate agent and a potential buyer in.’

‘Yes, I have.’ I pause, then continue with sarcasm, ‘I didn’t think you cared.’

‘Of course I care,’ he says.

‘Well, if you want to save the house from developers, you could always buy it back.’

‘Are we talking at cross-purposes here?’ Guy raises one eyebrow. ‘I’m talking about you, Jennie. I care about you.’ He raises his hand as I open my mouth to
make a minor observation on that particular point. ‘I thought you cared for me …’ A small smile crosses his lips. ‘In fact, if you hadn’t cared for me at all, I don’t suppose you’d have been so upset about the other business.’

‘Guy, there’s no need to revisit the past,’ I say.

‘I have to. I keep going back, thinking, If only Ruthie hadn’t come up to the farm. If only she’d taken no for an answer, we’d be together, you and me.’

‘I’m not sure it works like that. I would still have had my suspicions about you – you didn’t tell me the entire truth, after all.’

‘I know. I was stupid. I made a mistake, and I’m prepared to go down on my knees and grovel for the rest of my life, if you’ll only forgive me for it.’ His expression is beseeching, his eyes caressing. I’ve made mistakes too, and if I can’t bring myself to forgive him, I’ll be making yet another one. I couldn’t bear to leave without resolving our differences and at least parting as friends.

‘I forgive you,’ I say quietly. ‘But,’ I add quickly before he can jump to the wrong conclusion, ‘that doesn’t mean I can stay.’

‘Why on earth not?’ he exclaims in anguish.

‘Look, this isn’t easy for me.’ My eyes sting and my chest aches. ‘I’m not leaving because I’m running away from you.’

‘Please, I should have done this before, but I’m a bit of a wuss when it comes to talking about feelings. Jennie, you have to hear me out.’ Guy takes a deep breath before plunging on, ‘I love you. I’ve loved you since … since the day I brought the chickens over and I put that first one into your hands, and your face lit up …’ He swears lightly. ‘That sounds soft, doesn’t it?’

‘It’s very romantic.’ Keep strong, I tell myself. Don’t show any weakness, otherwise you’ll be in his arms before you know it and then you’ll never leave. ‘It’s also rather odd, if you think about it,’ I go on somewhat flippantly, ‘because you were pretty antagonistic when we first met.’

‘That’s as may be.’

‘There’s no may be about it. You were angry with me for buying Uphill House.’

‘Jennie’s Folly, you mean,’ Guy says. ‘Jennie, you’re easy to talk to. I found myself telling you about my marriage … things I’ve never told anyone else.’

‘Guy—’

‘Stop right there.’ He holds up one hand. ‘I promised myself that I’d get this off my chest. Jennie, you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I love and adore you.’ His voice breaks and my resolve shatters. ‘I would walk to the ends of the earth for you.’

‘I love you too,’ I whisper.

‘Then, what’s stopping you?’

‘You can’t ask me to choose between you and my son’s happiness,’ I say miserably.

‘You don’t have to choose.’ Guy darts forward and goes down on his knees on the rug, resting his hands on the sofa, one to either side of me. ‘That’s why Adam came to see me. Because he thought I could make you listen, even if he can’t.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘He said that he’d talked about going back to London, and you jumped in and put the house on the market.’ Guy looks towards the door. ‘Adam,’ he calls. ‘Do you want to come and explain this bit? I don’t think I can.’

‘Has he been outside the door all the time?’

‘I didn’t hear anything,’ Adam says, but I’m pretty sure he’s fibbing.

‘What did you want to say, Adam?’

‘Mum,’ he begins, ‘I wasn’t saying that we had to move …’

‘You said you hated it here,’ I interrupt.

‘I know, but I didn’t mean it. Not like that.’

‘I don’t understand,’ I say.

‘Mum, you’re the same. You don’t always mean what you say.’ Adam pauses. Silenced by the truth in his words, I let him go on. ‘You never really listen to me – you hear something, make up your mind and that’s it. Yesterday I said that sometimes I just want to go home, which doesn’t mean that I want to go back in reality. It’s how I feel on occasion. And I wouldn’t expect you and my pesky little sisters to move away just for me. I’ve learned my lesson about the drinking, and Will and Jack have asked me to join them at football training to see if I can get on the team.’

My emotions are in turmoil. Joy that Guy, the man of my dreams, has declared his love for me. Surprise and delight that Adam wants to stay here, after all. I’m finding it hard to take it all in.

‘Why didn’t you say this before?’

‘I tried to, but you disappeared off to feed Bracken and then you were in a foul temper last night …’

‘Oh, Adam …’ I make to get up, but he shakes his head.

‘Stay where you are, Mother. I don’t think Guy’s finished yet.’ Then he grins. ‘I’m going to fetch more wood for the fire, so I won’t be in your way.’

‘That’s some revelation,’ I say aloud.

‘Are there any more to come?’ Guy puts his arms around my waist and rests his head against my breast.
I reach out with one arm, let my hand hover above the crown of his head. I touch his hair, then run my fingers through it, feeling for his scalp and the shape of his skull.

‘Jennie darling, please don’t go …’ Guy straightens up and looks into my eyes. My heart is pounding with uncertainty and confusion as he continues in a low whisper, ‘You belong here.’

It’s now or never. Will I walk away, leaving Guy and my chance of true love behind? Will I leave Jennie’s Folly to the mercy of the developers? Or will I stay?

Six months down the line, I’m still in the kitchen with my Aga at Jennie’s Folly. I look out of the rear window, past the lawn and the vegetable patch with its mound of rotted manure and weeds in the middle, to the paddock where Georgia and Sophie have set up an obstacle course of a tarpaulin to walk across, a line of washing flapping in the breeze, and a scarecrow-like dummy that reminds me of the country bumpkin (it’s to jump over). They are trotting round on their ponies, practising for the Pony Club show. Ponies? Yes, we have two now: Bracken and Teddy, Camilla’s old pony that we have on loan from Maria. We have more chickens as well. The hens are scratching about in the gateway, the original ten having been joined by ten of Napoleon’s daughters, still cute but growing fast.

To the left of the paddock, I can just make out the figures of Adam and my dad felling saplings in the copse, only small ones to allow space for the more vigorous trees to grow. Occasionally, I catch sight of Lucky running in and out of the undergrowth in his relentless search for rabbits.

‘Have you finished with the turntable, Jennie?’ Mum
asks from beside me. ‘Only I’ll put it away if you have.’

‘Thanks, Mum.’ I put the last tier of the cake that I’ve just finished decorating back in the larder for the piped icing to harden.

‘You should be proud of that,’ Mum says.

‘I’m very pleased with the way it’s turned out.’ I’ve made my own crystal cake topper and horseshoes from fondant icing. It looks traditional but with a twist, and I can hardly wait to see it as the centrepiece of our reception. We were planning a small wedding, but what with family and old friends, including Summer, and then new friends, including Maria and the Pony Club mums, it’s grown into one huge celebration.

Humpty Dumpty buzzes from the worktop.

‘That’s the next cake ready,’ I say.

‘Is that for us?’ Mum asks.

‘I thought we could eat it today.’ Bending down, I take it out of the Aga, and lightly press the top with my fingers.

‘Did I hear someone say today?’ Guy strolls in, dressed in his work clothes, a vest and jeans, and an old sweater slung over his shoulder. ‘Does that mean I can have some now?’

‘When it’s gone, it’s gone,’ I say, standing the tin on the rack to allow it to cool for a few minutes before I turn it out.

‘Have you finished milking all those cows already?’ Mum says.

‘Yes, I’m getting quite good at it actually. I’ve been doing it for a while.’ Guy’s eyes flash with humour.

‘Oh, do stop teasing me,’ she says, and I can’t help smiling.

‘Watch out. That’s my fiancé you’re flirting with.’

‘I know, love, and very nice he is too. Quite a
hunk …’ Mum giggles. ‘Or should I say he’s fit? I can never remember.’

‘I’ll have a quick shower then the coffee should be just about ready,’ Guy says hopefully.

When he rejoins us, Mum has the coffee on the table, and I have cut the cake. It isn’t really cool enough so it crumbles across the plate.

‘What is it?’ Guy asks when I hand him a slice.

‘Walnut, date and honey, not that I’m sure it matters when you eat it that quickly,’ I observe, watching it disappear.

‘It was particularly gorgeous today – almost as wonderful as my wife-to-be.’ Smiling, Guy moves round the table and takes me in his arms, pulls me close and we share a kiss – we’ve done a lot of kissing to make up for what we might have missed during those months of muddles and misunderstandings.

‘Love you,’ I whisper.

‘Love you too.’

‘Ah, you two lovebirds. I can’t wait for this wedding,’ I hear Mum sigh. ‘Forget about cake, Jennie. I reckon it’s love that’s the sweetest thing.’