The Sweetest Seduction, Breakaway Hearts (36 page)

“Aw, sugar,” Cindy cooed as she hugged her, “don’t you worry about that. If it’s meant to be, you two can overcome this.”

“I don’t even know how to bring this up to him.”

“Just start with telling him you had a son, and then let it go from there. And if you need any help from me, I’ll be glad to give it. Now put a smile on your face and think about how nice it will be to finally be free of your secret.”

She did as her stepmother suggested, and some of the weight of the burden she’d been carrying lifted. She’d tell Ben tomorrow night at dinner. She’d even bring the scrapbook she’d made so Ben could at least know something about his son. And then, once she had fully opened up about her past, she’d wait and see if there was any chance of a future with him.

Chapter Fourteen

Ben scanned the small selection of wines at the local grocery store and frowned. He doubted Lia would recommend any of them. He pushed his cart down the aisle to the beer fridge and instead opted for a six-pack of a local IPA that Hailey seemed to prefer.

He checked the last item off his grocery list for dinner and headed toward one of the two registers, ending up right behind Cindy in line.

“Howdy, sugar,” she said with a bright smile. “Looks like someone’s planning a fancy dinner.”

Hailey might have wanted to keep the details of their relationship hidden from her father, but that didn’t mean he had to keep them from her stepmother. “Hailey’s coming up to my place for dinner.”

“Lucky girl. I might have to beg her for leftovers.” She placed a produce bag full of habaneros on the conveyer belt, followed by a large package of ground beef.

Ben’s mouth burned from the memory of Cindy’s special. “Making meatloaf again?”

She laughed and shook her head. “It’s chili tonight.”

He wondered if the Sin Bin had a secret dispenser for Tums in the bathroom next to the condom dispenser.

While her groceries were being rung up, Cindy kissed her fingers and pressed them against a photo of a young boy wearing a peewee hockey uniform. “Aw, sweet boy. I miss him so much.”

His curiosity raised, Ben craned his neck and glanced at the boy in the picture taped to a donation bin. A chill snaked down his spine, standing his hair on end. There was something vaguely familiar about him. “Who was he?”

“Hailey’s son, Zach.”

His hands grew numb as he studied the boy in the picture more carefully. There was no denying that he was Hailey’s son, what with the pair of matching dimples that framed his grin, but that wasn’t what troubled him. If it wasn’t for that, he would’ve sworn he was looking a picture of himself when he was six. The boy had his eyes, his chin.

Cindy ignored his silence and went on, “We all miss the little devil.”

“That we do,” the woman behind the register added. “It’s been what—a little over a year now, hasn’t it?”

“Last May.”

Ben’s throat constricted from a mix of grief and anger. “What happened to him?”

“He died of a brain tumor.” Cindy pointed to the letters that had blurred into an incomprehensible mess beside that picture. “That’s why we’re still collecting donations for the children’s hospital in Vancouver. They did as much as they could for him, and it’s our way of thanking them.”

Her words sounded like a drunk man’s whispers to his ears. How many times had he passed this picture and never really looked at it? Hell, he’d even thrown some of his spare change into the donation bin. And yet, the longer he stared at Zach, the more convinced he became that the boy was his son.

His hands curled around the cart, squeezing the metal handlebar with the same tightness as the invisible fist that choked his insides. Suddenly, it all made sense. The guilt, the grief, the secret she’d been keeping from him.

But if Zach was his son, why hadn’t Hailey told him?

Suddenly, dinner didn’t seem too appetizing. He backed out of the line.

“Where are you going, sugar?” Cindy asked.

“I’m going to put all this back. I don’t think I’ll be staying in Cascade much longer.”

Ben retraced his footsteps in a half-conscious fog, placing everything from the steaks to the beer back where it belonged. His heart thudded in time with his slow steps, each throb shooting little waves of agony through him. Just when he thought things were damn near perfect with Hailey, he’d learned the ugly truth. He’d had a son he’d known nothing about. His son was gone before he’d even had a chance to know him. And Hailey continued to hide it all from him.

What kind of heartless mother would do that?

He’d stay in town long enough to confront Hailey, and then he was gone. There was no way he could be with a woman who’d deceived him like this.

****

Hailey pulled into Ben’s driveway, her nerves completely frazzled. She’d stayed up so late last night making sure everything was perfect in the scrapbook that she’d slept through her alarm. It was the first time she’d missed hockey practice since the day they’d scattered Zach’s ashes. For the last year, she’d been so focused on keeping her promise to her son that she hoped he wouldn’t mind her absence on the ice this morning.

She turned off the engine and glanced down at the scrapbook. She still wasn’t ready to break the news to Ben, but she hoped this would help ease the shock. Pop was right—Ben deserved to know about his son, and this was the only thing she could offer him. Maybe in time, she’d be able to show him their home movies, but she couldn’t even bring herself to watch them yet.

She took a deep breath and drummed her fingers on the steering wheel as she blew it out. Ben had asked her for a second chance, and she’d given it to him. Surely, he wouldn’t deny her a second chance after this. Bit by bit, her courage mounted, and she grabbed the scrapbook. Her heart quivered, but not with dread anymore. It was time to tell him about Zach.

She crawled out of her Jeep and knocked on the front door, hugging the scrapbook to her chest while she waited for Ben to answer. A shadowy figure moved back and forth inside, but no one came to greet her. After a minute, she tested the handle and opened the door. “Hello? Ben?”

The slam of hockey gear against the wooden floor answered her.

She ventured deeper into the cabin. A stack of boxes and a couple of suitcases stood in the entryway, and her palms grew sweaty. It looked like Ben was packing up to leave. “Ben?” she called, her voice shaking.

She found him coming down the stairs from the bedroom, his face harder than the steely color of his eyes. He glared at her for a moment before placing the suitcase he carried in his hand beside the others.

A chill surrounded her, making her cling to the scrapbook even harder. “I thought you were going to make dinner.”

He froze, the muscles in his neck straining like overstretched rubber bands that were ready to snap. He curled his hands into his palms and continued to look at her like she was the vilest person on earth. “I know about Zach,” he said in a low, sharp voice.

The blood rushed from her head, and the room spun around her. She moved to the nearest chair and sat down before her legs gave out. “How?”

“It doesn’t matter how.” He snapped his laptop closed and stuffed it into a computer sleeve.

“Ben, I know—”

“Shut up, Hailey. Just shut the hell up.” His chest expanded, and each breath seemed to seethe through his clenched teeth. “I don’t want to hear your excuses.”

Her shock evaporated, and a surge of anger that matched his stiffened her bones. She set the scrapbook on the table and jumped up from the chair. “What do you mean, you don’t want to hear my excuses? You’re the one who denied ever knowing me.”

“What the…?” His brows furrowed in confusion for a few seconds before sliding back into a mask of fury. “Don’t you even try that bullshit on me.”

“It’s not bullshit.”

“Why should I believe anything you say?” He put his laptop and iPad in his briefcase and added it to the growing pile of stuff. “Were you ever going to tell me about him?”

“I was.”

“When? After you’d used me to get on an Olympic team?”

“You. Mother. Fucking. Bastard.” Her rage boiled over, and she crossed the space between them in a red haze. Her fist connected with his cheekbone with a satisfying whack. A sting of pain coursed through her hand, but it was worth it to see his head snap back. She tried to follow it up with another punch, but he blocked her jab with his massive hands and held them prisoner. She wrestled against him, kicking his shins and aiming her knee for his crotch.

“That’s enough.” In a quick move, he twirled her around and pressed her back against his chest. Her arms remained locked in front of her, crossed over her chest like a straightjacket. “Calm down before you injure yourself and miss out on your tryout.”

“Not until you let me get a word in edgewise.” She writhed against him, stomping his feet and ramming her bottom against him. She was just about to bite his hands when he released her. She whirled around and backed away out of his reach. A small twinge of satisfaction bloomed inside her when she saw the bruise forming under his eye. “How dare you accuse me of using you?”

“Why didn’t you tell me I had a son?”

Oh, shit!
Her jaw fell lax, and she struggled to breathe.

“Don’t you think I had a right to know about him, preferably before he died?”

A sob rioted inside her, pounding to break free of her defenses. But she couldn’t cry in front of him. She couldn’t let him know how much he’d hurt her, how much he was still hurting her. “I tried to tell you.”

“When? Just now?”

“No, you egotistical asshole. I tried to tell you years ago, once I finally realized who you were. I sent letter after letter to you through the Whales, but you never answered.”

“What are you talking about? I never got any letters from you.”

“I sent them. In fact, I even got a reply to one of them from your PR manager.” She pulled the letter out from the very back of the scrapbook and held it up for him to see.

“You probably made that up to cover your ass.” He waved it away and narrowed his eyes. “Tell me, did Cindy tip you off this afternoon? Was it enough time to come up with a defense strategy?”

“What does Cindy have to do with this?”

“At least she had the balls to tell me about Zach when you didn’t.”

She crumpled the note in her hand, her anger flickering to her stepmother for a brief second before coming back to Ben. She’d deal with Cindy later. Right now, she needed to put Ben in his place. “I came here tonight to tell you about him.”

“Well, it’s too late. I’ve already seen you for the person you really are.” He hoisted his gear bag and carried it out the front door.

She followed him out to his Land Rover. “Why are you acting this way?”

“How did you expect me to act after I learned I had a son I knew nothing about?”

Her heart hammered in her chest as though it were saying
I told you so
over and over again. She let her arms hang limply at her sides, the fight leaving her as she acknowledged what she’d known all along. “Just like this.”

The sob threatened to take her over once again, but she swallowed it down and stumbled back. “The reason I didn’t tell you when we first started spending time together was because I was still trying to see if you’d known about him before he died. And when I realized you hadn’t, I was too scared you’d leave me when you found out.” She pointed to his half-packed SUV. “And I was right.”

His face remained unreadable, but he didn’t argue with her, didn’t try to refute her claim.

“You talk about wanting a second chance, but you’re not willing to give me one, eh? And you know what? It doesn’t matter.” A rogue tear trickled out of her eye and down her cheek. “Zach’s dead. There isn’t a day that goes by where I wouldn’t give anything to change that fact, but there’s nothing I can do to bring him back. All I have left of him are memories of a child who loved the game as much as we do and a promise I intend to keep, with or without you.”

Each word chipped away at the guilt she’d been carrying for so long, and she didn’t want to stop. “So go ahead. Leave. Go back to your protective bubble in Vancouver and forget about me once again. I’ll go on without you just like I did the last time. But don’t you ever accuse me of trying to hide your son from you while he was still alive.”

She spun around on her heel and jumped into her Jeep, throwing it in reverse, and drove away from Ben like he was a demolition site that was about to explode. Hot tears cascaded down her cheeks as she drove down the mountain. She should’ve known better than to let him back into her life. Nine years ago, he’d left her alone and pregnant. Now, he was leaving her with a huge hole in her chest where her heart once belonged. She’d let herself fall in love with him, and his rejection had devastated her far more than it had before.

When she turned onto her dad’s property, she continued past her trailer and stopped at his house. After dredging up all the painful memories from Zach’s death, she wasn’t ready to go back into the home she’d shared with him. Instead, she curled up on the front porch and cried until her eyes turned gritty. The swing rocked and creaked as Dozer, her dad’s golden retriever, hopped up next to her. She hugged him close and ruffled his silky fur until the last of her grief and frustration had seeped out of her.