The Sweet Gum Tree (20 page)

“He’s back, Alix, and he’s staying. He’s buying the twenty acres next to the farm. He’s going to be your neighbor. Hell, he’s planning on building a house five feet from your property line. You’ll be tripping over him every time you walk outside.” I shrugged as I stepped into the jeans. “It’s a free country.” With an air of disgust, she plopped onto the easy chair. “Now I’m really worried. I thought for sure this would get a reaction out of you. You loved him, Alix. How can you be so calm after what he did to you?”

I pulled a T-shirt over my head, then raked a hand through my short hair to fix it.

“That was a long time ago. Nick means nothing to me.”

“Does anything?” Her gaze was piercing. “You walk and talk, you breathe and eat, you work and sleep, but you aren’t alive anymore. I thought once you got away from 112

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Hugh things might be different, but they aren’t. You’ve only changed location. Do you have any idea how long it’s been since I’ve heard you laugh?” I knew exactly. The last time I’d laughed, the last time I’d cared about anything except my business, was the day before Katie died.

As usual, she seemed to read my mind. “You’re going to see Nick sooner or later.

Will you tell him about Katie?”

I stiffened, then forced my tense shoulders to relax. No one had mentioned Katie in my presence for years. It was as though she’d never existed for anyone but me, and her name sounded alien on Jenna’s lips.

“No. Katie is none of his business.”

But Jenna had discovered the chink in my armor and she prodded it unmercifully.

“Katie was his daughter, too. Don’t you think he has the right to know about her?”

“No.” I threw my suit onto a hanger and slammed it into the closet. “She was never his child and she never will be.”

“Ah-ha! Is that a bit of anger I detect? Maybe there’s some life in you after all.”

“Drop it, Jenna.”

With a sigh, she watched me take out a sweater and tie the arms around my waist.

“Okay, okay. It’s just that you’re scaring me, Alix. You act like that damn robot on Star Trek. No, I take that back. At least Data wants to feel human.”

“Jenna, I’m fine, really.”

“Where are you going?”

“For a walk. I’ve been sitting at my desk all day.”

“Loan me a pair of jeans and I’ll go with you. And if you’re a good girl, I’ll even treat you to a hamburger later.”

“Deal.”

We walked in silence for a while, the leftover leaves from last fall crunching under our feet. All around us, wild plum and redbud trees were in full bloom. The buzzing of bees, busily collecting nectar, filled the air.

“How does your mother like her new house?”

“Fine, I suppose.” About six months ago, Daddy had retired. He and Mother had sold their house in Jonesboro and bought a smaller one down the street from the farm so she could be closer to the Judge.

“Don’t tell me she’s still not talking to you?” My smile contained no humor. “Only when she has to. You know how close she and Helena are. They’re feeding each other’s indignation. I’m hoping they’ll get over it when they realize this isn’t a game, that I really am divorcing Hugh and they can’t change my mind.”

“They probably will. What about Darla?”

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“You know Aunt Darla. She couldn’t stop talking if someone held a gun to her head. There’s not a week goes by that I don’t get at least one lecture on how I’m putting my immortal soul in danger. According to her, I’m going to hell in a handbasket.” I hadn’t set foot in a church since Katie’s funeral, much to Aunt Darla’s dismay. The problems with Hugh, plus my sudden accessibility after I moved back to the farm, had simply escalated her tirades. I’d passed the point where I listened anymore. She seemed happy enough if I merely nodded once in a while as though agreeing with her statements.

“Aunt Jane is the only one who doesn’t seem to have an opinion one way or the other. She still treats me the same way she did before I got married and left home.”

“Do you think it’s ever crossed her mind that if your father had married her, you’d be her daughter?”

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

Jenna gave me a sideways, speculative look. “Nick asked me about you. He knows you and Hugh are getting a divorce.”

“Everyone knows about Hugh and me. I hear they have a betting pool at the barbershop and the odds are five to one I’ll call off the divorce.”

“Yeah?” She perked up. “Maybe I should stop by tomorrow.”

“Don’t. Everyone will figure you’ve got inside information and it’ll ruin their fun.”

“I suppose you’re right. Of course, when everyone discovers that Nick is back, the odds may change.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Oh, come on, Alix. You honestly don’t think you were that good at hiding the way you felt about each other, do you? Every kid in school knew. Well, except Piggy. She was so busy being jealous of you and Hugh, she couldn’t see anything else.” While I’d never really cared who Hugh’s women were, I knew for a fact that one of them had been Piggy. Shortly before I left him, she’d made it a point to let me know, hanging on him, touching him in ways only a lover would.

She wasn’t exactly overweight now, she was more—abundant. Not to mention married with two kids, a boy and girl, both as mean and spoiled as Piggy. The oldest had been born approximately six months after she had married Devon Garner, the star basketball player who had nearly raped me that night at the Burger Zone. She’d always claimed the baby was premature even though he weighted in at nine pounds, six ounces.

I was in no position to throw stones as far as the baby went, but it was apparent to everyone Devon had been trapped into the marriage because he was second best to Hugh. These days, there was little sign of the old Devon left. He worked for an insurance company in town and had a quiet, beaten look about him. In spite of our past, I felt sorry for him. No one deserved Piggy.

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But something else was bothering me, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

Hesitantly, I cleared my throat. “So, how does Nick look?”

“Hot damn! I knew you were interested.”

Heat flushed my cheeks. “I’m not interested, merely curious. I hope he’s fat and bald.”

“Well, you can get over that hope real fast. God, Alix, he’s even more gorgeous now than when we were kids. Wait until you see him. He could be a movie star, one of those manly men who play the tough guys in westerns. I expected to see a six-shooter strapped on his hips. And he sure doesn’t look like he’s hurting for money anymore. I swear, he says he’s paying cash for that land, and it’s not cheap.” I turned abruptly, not wanting to hear another word about Nick, and headed back toward the barn. “Come on. Let’s go get that burger.”

* * * * *

At one point Sunday afternoon, I heard the distant echo of hammering coming from the direction of the twenty acres Nick was buying, but I wouldn’t allow myself to look.

Shortly after the noise started, the Judge appeared in the open door leading to the barn. “You hear that hammering?”

“Yes, Sir.” I stayed focused on the invoices in front of me.

“Know who it is?”

“Nick,” I answered.

“Okay, just wanted to make sure you knew he was back. Think I’ll go over and say hello.”

I finally looked up. “Don’t you dare do anything to exert yourself.” We were all a little worried about the Judge. He didn’t seem to have much energy anymore, and he barely ate enough to keep a bird alive. He’d been on medication for his blood pressure for two years now.

“Stop fussing at me. You’re getting as bad as Darla. She watches me like a damn vulture. Can’t even go to the bathroom without her standing at the door checking on me. I know what I can do and what I can’t.”

“Knowing and doing are two different things, you stubborn old coot. And we only fuss because we love you.”

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He used one finger to push his glasses back up his nose, then peered at me over the rims. “You want to walk over there and keep an eye on me?”

“Thanks, but I’ll have to trust you this time. I’ve got too much work left to do.” I wouldn’t be able to avoid Nick forever, not in a town the size of Morganville, but I sure wasn’t going to look for him. I didn’t even wonder why he hadn’t tried to find me yet. It was obvious. He hadn’t wanted me fifteen years ago; I had no reason to think he’d changed his mind now. No doubt he was happily married to Lindsey. I only wished they’d found somewhere else to settle down. I wasn’t sure Morganville was big enough for the three of us.

Late Monday afternoon, my time ran out. I was on the loading dock at Southern Supply, chewing my bottom lip while I tried to figure out if the custom-cut countertop a contractor had ordered could be salvaged. The inside corners had been cut and joined at the wrong angle and it was looking hopeless.

“Alix?” The intercom crackled with static as Kenny paged me.

“Yes, Kenny?” I was still distracted. It looked like we were going to take a loss on the countertop. “Reorder it,” I told Doug, my dock manager. “And tell them they better get it right or I’ll find someone else to do my cabinet work. This is the second time they’ve messed up this month.”

He jogged to the phone as Kenny spoke again. “Got a customer at the front desk who wants to open an account.”

“Okay, I’ll be right there.”

I was proud of what Southern Supply had become. It was the biggest store in Morganville and second only to the lumber mill in employing the people in the area.

We had building contractors from all over the northeast part of the state who used us exclusively for their material. Hardly a day went by when several new customers didn’t apply for accounts, so I wasn’t expecting anything out of the ordinary as I walked to the front desk.

Reaching under the counter, I picked up a credit application form and straightened, facing the man now standing casually in front of me.

“Hello, Peewee.” Nick’s soft voice rolled over me like molasses over a hot biscuit.

I stood there frozen, my heart pounding an erratic rhythm that made it hard to breathe, while my subconscious automatically catalogued his appearance. If anything, Jenna had understated the facts. He was taller, at least six-two, maybe more. No silver marred his thick hair, but it was shorter than I’d ever seen it before.

When he’d left fifteen years ago, his body, while well-developed, still retained boyish overtones, lanky and lean like the healthy young animal he was. Nothing about the man standing here now was boyish. He was dressed in black slacks, a black pullover shirt, and a black linen jacket that hit him just above the knees, the dark color serving to emphasize the deep bronze of his skin. And not even his clothing could hide the long thick muscles of his legs, the broad shoulders or the flat stomach.

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His face had changed, too. All the roundness was gone, leaving hard lines and chiseled planes that loudly proclaimed here was a man who knew what he wanted and wasn’t afraid to go after it. A five o’clock shadow darkened his jaw. Only the dimples and the gray eyes were the same, and those I would have recognized anywhere.

The smile curving his lips faded a bit as I continued to stare at him silently, and he took a step closer. He held a set of rolled-up plans in one hand.

“Alix? Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten me?”

By some miracle my voice came out cool and steady, even though inside I was trembling with a dozen conflicting emotions. “Nick. Jenna told me you were back.” I put the papers down and shoved them toward him. “If you’ll fill these out, we can see about getting your account opened.”

A puzzled expression filled his eyes as he reached inside his jacket for a pen. “You look great, Alix.”

“Thanks.” I forced a smile. I’d gotten real good at pretending. I could do it even when I wanted to scream.

He pulled the forms closer and studied them a second before glancing back up.

“How have you been?”

“Fine.”

His gaze searched mine as he hesitated. “And Hugh? I heard the two of you are separated.”

“You heard right.” I pointed to the form. “Just fill in your address, phone number, social security number, and the name of your loan officer. We’ll do the rest.”

“I don’t have a loan officer.”

“Then the name and address of your bank will do.” He put down the information I’d requested, shooting glances at me the entire time.

When he finished, he handed it across the counter.

“It was great seeing the Judge yesterday. He looks just like he always did.”

“Yes, he does. I take it you’re building a house on the land you’re buying?”

“Alix, is something wrong?” His brows were lowered, mouth curving downward in a worried frown.

“Of course not.” I refused to meet his eyes. He’s simply another customer, I told myself. Ruthlessly, I ground my building anger under my heel and reached for the plans. I couldn’t believe he was acting as though no time had passed, as though we could take up right where we’d left off. “It usually takes the bank a few days to get back to us on the applications, but if you’d like, we can make up a material list for you and have it ready to go.”

“That will be fine.”

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Nick’s gaze burned into me while I unrolled the plans, but I ignored him. “Have you decided on a contractor yet? If you haven’t, we keep a list…” My voice trailed off as I stared down at the blueprint, and everything in me went still.

The year I was eighteen, when Hugh had been after me to go look at the houses in Fair Oaks, I’d come across a picture in a magazine. It was of an old farmhouse that had been restored, and I’d fallen instantly in love with the sweeping porches, wide expanses of glass, the half-dozen gables, and the old-fashioned flower beds full of hollyhocks, roses and honeysuckle. It hadn’t been just a house to me; it was what a home should be.