The Sweet By and By (19 page)

No, no, no, no. This isn't happening
. Jade scooped her hair back from her face and stormed into the kitchen.

“Jade?” Max came in, flipping on the overhead light. “You lied to me about your father. How do I know you're not lying about this? This is insane, Jade, I trusted you. Is there anything else you need to tell me?”

Covering her head with her hands and arms, she sank to the floor, sitting on her heels. “I'm not married, Max.” She shook her head, chasing wild thoughts, trembling. Puffs of warm breath filled the pocket between her legs and torso. “I'm not married.”

“Tell me what happened.” His voice softened as he moved over to her. She felt his presence kneeling next to her.

“Do you love me?”

“What?” He bent to see her face. She tucked her forehead tighter against her arms.

“Do you love me?”

“Yes, I do, but I'm not sure I
know
you.”

She sprang up, wiping her face with her hands, yanking a paper towel from the roll. “I can't believe this . . .” How could she mess up her life like this? Was she not destined for love and happiness?

“Jade?” Lillabeth's knock was tentative. The loft door eased open. “Luella Wentworth is here.”

“Her check's on my desk.” Jade sniffed. “Tell her thanks for the business.”

The door clicked shut.

For a long moment, Jade could only look at her shoes while Max waited against the counter, his legs crossed at the ankles. She wanted to reach for him but feared being shoved away.

“Do you still love him?” he finally asked.

Jade tossed her head back with a watery laugh. “No, double no.” Worst decision of her life . . . No, second worst.

“How'd you get married at sixteen?”

“I lied.” As the truth left her lips, Jade buckled with the weight of her confession. More lies for Max to see. “We forged our parents' names. Used an eighteen-year-old friend to witness getting the license.” She shot a brave glance at him. “How'd you find out?”

“Let's just say your mother had lunch with mine.” Max walked to the fridge and took out a bottle of water.

Mama . . . “The marriage was annulled, Max.” How did she end up with so many lies to cover? Jade had been so worried Mama would spill the beans about Daddy, but she never dreamed the name Dustin Colter would come up in conversation.

“Jade, the state of Iowa has no record of an annulment.” Max twisted the cap from the water and tossed it in the trash. “My paralegal spent half a day searching.”

Jade snatched her phone from her pocket. “Willow, put Mama on . . . Nothing. It's nothing, but please, put Mama—Okay, then go into the dressing room.”

Max gulped half the bottle of water, then wandered into the living room. Jade brushed her eyes with the back of her hand, her insides turbulent.

“Mama, the Colters . . . they annulled the marriage, right? Yes,
the
Colters, Dustin's parents . . . Didn't you see a form . . . sign something? I don't know, you said you'd handle it. Well, didn't you ask when you came off the road with Gig?” Jade brushed the heel of her hand over her forehead. “Yeah, okay, thanks. I guess it was too much to be concerned about your daughter's life for five minutes.”

Snapping the phone shut, Jade yanked her jacket from the hook, threw open the loft door, and hammered down the stairs. The walls were closing in up there. Closing in.

“Jade, where are you going?” Max thundered after her.

“Lillabeth, close up, will you? Yes, yes, I'll pay you extra.” Jade shoved out the front door, the cords of fear and anger tight around her chest as she headed toward Laurel Park. There was a merry-go-round on the west side, and she had an urge to ride.

“Jade.” Max caught up to her, walking stride for stride.

“I should've known.” Balling her hands into fists, Jade punched the air. “The fates can't rest unless they're tormenting me.”

“Don't blame the fates, Jade. Own up to what's yours. Maybe you didn't know about the annulment, but you could've at least told me you were married before.”

“And then what?” She stopped so fast he almost bumped her. “Would you have done some PI work on your lying little fiancée to make sure she was indeed single?”

She started walking for the park's merry-go-round.
Midmorning, there had better not be a crowd.

“I might have checked it out, just to make sure.”

“Ooh, I bet your mom is loving this.” After the merry-go-round, a chocolate shake from Froggers. A big one. Maybe two.

“She doesn't know, Jade. She mentioned to Dad how interesting it was that you'd been married before, and he mentioned to me—”

“So you opened the investigation?” Jade whirled toward him, faking a belly laugh. “What great communication you have in your family. Does Rebel relish being in the middle? The stoolie? ‘June, Max's fiancée is a heathen.' ‘Ooo, Max, your little girlfriend was married.' And by the way, Señor Nosy, did it occur to you to call and ask me before you went snooping into my business?”

The music from the merry-go-round spurred her forward. Under her heavy stride, yellow-brown leaves crackled.

“Did it occur to you that being married before, at sixteen no less, might not fall under the past-is-the-past clause? And why is this bothering you so much? Why can't you just say, ‘Gee, Max, yeah, I was married. Sorry, I thought it was annulled.'”

“Hm, I did say that, and you called me a liar.”

“You admitted to lying.”

Jade swung around. “To the state of Iowa, not to you.”

“Yes, to me. You sat in Reverend Girden's office and said, ‘Nope, I've never been married.' Let's just clear the air, is there a kid or two you haven't mentioned?”

“Yeah, Max, I hid them in my bedroom, taking them out to play when you're not around.”

He pinched her arm. “You could've put a baby up for adoption.”

“There's no baby, Max.” She held steady. “No adoption.”

Mr. Hannity, the park's maintenance man and merry-go-round jockey, spotted Jade as she pulled away from Max and waved her over. “Come for a ride, Jade? Not many more nice days like this left. That you, Max? Haven't seen you in the park on a weekday since you was in high school.”

“Ah, Mr. Hannity, now that's downright depressing,” Max said, keeping up with Jade as she picked up her pace.

A couple of moms were herding their little ones toward the mechanical horse race. Beating out a couple of dirty-faced rug rats, Jade hopped on a chocolate brown pony with a red saddle. Max threw his leg over the pink one next to her. The
short
pink one.

“Why did you say no in Reverend Girden's office?”

“Mr. Hannity, let's go.” Jade smacked the neck of her fiberglass steed.

“Jade, I know I came on strong at the shop, and I'm sorry. But, babe, you need to know we have a technical difficulty.” Max rested his forehead against the gold-plated pony pole. “We can't locate Dustin Colter. And if we can't locate him, we're not getting married a week from Saturday.”

“See what happens when you go snooping?” The ride lights flashed; it was getting ready to begin. “If you'd have left the past in the past, this would've never come up and we'd be getting married, no worries.”

“And claim innocence if caught? I suppose so. But we did find out. I could be disbarred if I knowingly marry a married woman.”

Jade sat on her stationary mount, silent. The breeze cooled her face and cleared the heat from her eyes. “Why'd you do it? Investigate without asking me.”

“Didn't even occur to me. I asked Stella to run a check, and once she discovered your marriage intact, the process took on a life of its own. I wondered, who was this man, this boy, who captured Jade's heart before me? What was his name? Where did he live? How old was he? The news left a pit feeling in my stomach.”

She couldn't look at him. “Getting over Dustin was the hardest thing I ever had to do, Max. He caused me a lot of pain. More than anyone knows. And frankly, I planned to never think about him again.” She tapped her engagement ring against the pole. “Hey, Mr. Hannity, is this thing ever going to start spinning?”

“Simmer down, girl. Give a man a chance.”

Two little girls raced across the grass, yelling for Mr. Hannity to wait. They jumped on the platform and stopped by Max and Jade, staring at them with Precious Moments eyes.

The brown-eyed girl gazed at Jade. “That's my favorite pony.”

“So? I was here first. Get another pony. Look, there's a red-and-black one over there.”

“But I like chocolate.”

Meanwhile, the hazel-eyed child glowered at Max. “The others are too big for me.”

“Well, we're riding these ponies this time.” Jade shooed the girls with a flick of her hand.

The girls' eyes welled up, and Jade gave the brown-eyed one a twisted-lip expression.
Might as well learn now, life isn't fair. In fact, it can be downright painful. Best to learn it when you're young. Walls take time to build.

“That's it.” Max grabbed Jade by the waist and lifted her off her horse.

“Hey!”

Holding on to her, he motioned at the horses with his chin. “You girls can have our horses.”

“They aren't real horses, you know!” Jade called over her shoulder, squirming, working her elbows into Max's ribs. “And that one's not real chocolate!”

“What's the matter with you? Act your age.” Max steered her toward one of the sleighs and shoved her in.

“You act yours.” She thumped down on the seat, crossing her arms, setting her stubborn chin away from Max.

He sat next to her as the merry-go-round lights went up and the music began.

Dustin. Of all the blasts from the past. He was not supposed to be in the middle of her relationship with Max. His name didn't deserve the honor of her breath.

“The other night,” Max started, “you trusted me enough to tell me about your dad. Can't you trust me about Dustin?”

“It's not about trusting you, Max. It's about forgetting. Leaving the past in the past.” She gazed down at her hands. “Guess that's becoming a cliché by now.”

“What are you trying to hide?”

“Nothing.” She shook her head. All her emotions were settling at the bottom of her soul and the waters of her heart began to calm. “I just want to be happy, Max.”

“I want you to be happy, too. Very. Look, I don't want you to slice open a healed wound just so I can have the details.” He turned her chin so she'd face him. “But I want you to know, I'm here for you. I'll always be here for you. Please, tell me what happened.”

She peered into his eyes, feeling his words. “No offense, Max, but you don't know you'll always be there for me. Daddy said he loved me, then he left. Dustin promised me forever. Shoot, even Mama ran out on us kids from time to time. What really scares me though . . . maybe it's not you who will run one day, but me.”

Seventeen

Prairie City, June 1996

Jade clung to Dustin's hand. They'd driven all the way to Deep River without saying a word, just listened to the radio. But they were
actually
going through with their plan.

A shiver caused her legs to twitch.

“He's finishing his supper. Two shakes and he'll be right out.” The wife of the justice of the peace scrutinized them from the kitchen doorway, arms akimbo, lips pinched tight.

“Thanks.” Dustin's voice cracked.

“Go on in the parlor.” She motioned to the boxy room to the right and disappeared.

The parlor was cluttered with magazines and newspapers, a couple of old radios and two TVs, powered on but muted. The pungent odor of sauerkraut stung the air.

“Are you nervous?” Dustin whispered, hugging her to him.

“A little.” Jade's knees shimmied with a nervous chill.

“Are we really doing this?” Dustin released her, peering out the side window.

Stu and Rachel waited outside.

“Well, don't you kids look nice.” The JP appeared in a faded plaid shirt and worn dungarees. His wispy gray hair was combed forward from the crown of his head, and wiry whiskers grew from the sides of his ears.

“I'm Dustin.” He stretched to shake the man's hand, his words fast and shaky. “This is Jade. You married my cousin Bart and his wife two years ago.”

“Good for me. Sorry about the mess. The missus is a collector.” The JP shuffled through a stack of books and binders by a wooly brown easy chair. “Gwyn, where's my book?”

“How should I know?” came through the wall.

“Here . . .” The JP offered up a worn leather binder. “Do you have the license? The Bulls play in fifteen minutes, and I'd like to see the game if it's all the same to you.” The man scratched his protruding belly.

“Yes . . . yes.” Dustin patted his pockets. “You think the Bulls will win the championship with Jordan back on the team, sir? I must have left the license in the truck.” He started out the door, Jade on his heels.

“Bring the signed notes from your parents. I'm guessing neither of you is eighteen.” The JP arched his eyebrows as he dropped his chin to his chest.

“Yes, sir. Our parents gave their permission. We do have the notes, and a license.”

“Yet you came to see me, a Deep River JP.”

“Yes, sir. My cousin recommended—”

“So I heard.”

Jade squeezed Dustin's arm. Blowing out a long breath, he squeezed her hand three times.
I. Love. You.

“Our best man and maid of honor are outside. They can come in, too, can't they?”

“Unless they have X-ray vision and can witness through the walls.”

“Right.” Dustin took a step and banged into the door, nodding to the JP. “Be right back.” He smashed the handle on the screen door and darted onto the porch.