The Surprise Holiday Dad (15 page)

Adrienne rocked back onto the carpeted floor. “Will you tell me about it?”

“I don’t want to burden you.”

“Believe me, you won’t.” She rested her hand on his knee.

It chafed at Wade to show anyone his scars or, in this case, the wounds that had never completely healed. Yet he had to share them with Adrienne so she’d understand him. “When I was thirteen, she left Dad and me for another man. Her note said...” His voice broke. Fiercely, Wade forged on. “She said she’d only stayed because her son needed her, and now...” His eyes burned. “Now, instead, she was getting in my way.”

Adrienne’s touch on his leg anchored him. “In your way? How?”

Wade swallowed. “I’d been going through a stupid adolescent rebellion. Treating her like the enemy. Staying out late with my friends, complaining about her cooking, acting like a jerk.”

“You blame yourself?” she asked gently.

Yes.
“It was like she rejected us both, and the worst part is I deserved it.” The story didn’t end there. “I was angry about being abandoned. She married again and traveled a lot with her new husband, visiting his son and grandkids and seeing the world. I only met them a couple times.”

“But you stayed in contact?”

“Aside from a few brief visits, we only occasionally talked on the phone, but it made Dad furious. He considered her a traitor, and since he was the only parent I had left, I sided with him,” Wade admitted. “By the time I figured out that I shouldn’t be expected to choose, it was too late.”

As if recalling that she had a task to do, Adrienne began wrapping the stretchy bandage around his ankle. “What do you mean, too late?”

“When I was sixteen, she and her husband were flying in his private plane to spend the holidays with his son in Lake Tahoe,” Wade said. “A storm came up and the plane went down in the mountains. There were no survivors.”

Her hands stopped moving. “How sad. You never had a chance to say goodbye.”

“Later, when I was training for police work, I talked about it to a counselor,” Wade said. “That eased some of my feelings, and I buried the rest. But they still resurface, especially this time of year. If only I’d tried harder to reach out or hadn’t been such a jerk to her in the first place.”

“You believe she’d have stayed?” Adrienne secured the bandage around his ankle. “That she’d have ditched her lover for your dad?”

“I suppose not. But maybe she’d never have taken up with him in the first place.” As he spoke, Wade saw how childish his thinking was, assuming that he could have saved his parents’ marriage if he’d only been good enough.

“Last year when Vicki went out drinking on New Year’s Eve and smashed her car into a tree, I blamed myself.” Adrienne returned the empty bandage box to the drawer. “Although she was sober when she left here, I knew she’d soon start drinking. I tried to take the keys, but she grabbed them away. I wish I’d done more. Tied her up, called the police....”

“There’s nothing they could have done while she was sober,” Wade said. “And you had no legal right to restrain her.”

“That’s what I try to tell myself.”

“How about Reggie? This was obviously hard on him, and still is.” He’d seen that in his son’s behavior the day they’d visited the cemetery.

“I took him to a therapist afterward,” she said. “I went, too. But while grief counseling can help, it doesn’t entirely banish the pain.”

“How about the guilt?” Wade asked. “Because for me, that’s almost as bad.”

“Reggie doesn’t seem to suffer from that. But I do. I guess that growing up in families like ours, we feel like we should be able to fix everything.” The glitter in Adrienne’s eyes matched his own tear-blurred vision.

“How do you deal with that?”

“I try to remember that we can’t make choices for other people. And we’ll never be perfect. We can only do our best, take each day as it comes and forgive ourselves for honest mistakes.”

Inside, a hard knot dissolved. Hearing the words in Adrienne’s soft voice gave them power.

The power to heal. And the power to bring the two of them together.

Impulsively, Wade reached for her hands and rose, drawing her up. “I need you,” he said, gathering her against him. With her hair flowing around him and her mouth inches from his, they were lost in a private, precious world.

“I need you, too,” she whispered.

After that, there was no more room for words.

Chapter Fifteen

Wade’s hard body fit against Adrienne’s as if he’d been designed for her. She loved the roughness of his skin, the restrained strength in his muscles and the tender way he gazed into her eyes before kissing her.

Although both had experienced other lovers, she sensed they’d been alone so long that every touch had become new. Peeling off each other’s clothing, adjourning to the bedroom, exploring each other as they rolled and teased and cuddled, was almost like the first time.

When his intensity grew, she met him with a passion of her own, taking what she wanted. He clearly liked it when she played the aggressor, then turned the tables and flipped her on the bed. They were partners, sharing their reactions, their excitement rising even as they strove to delay the moment of union as long as possible.

Never let this end.

Adrienne’s only hesitation came when Wade murmured something about protection. While she was trying to frame a response, he scooted out of bed and retrieved a condom from his wallet.

“It’s kind of old.” He regarded her apologetically.

“That’s okay.” Putting every other consideration out of her head, Adrienne unrolled it over him with the exquisite skill of a surgeon.

Eyelids half-closed, Wade moaned. She caressed him, thrilled to be arousing him. Then it was his turn to trace fire across her body with his mouth.

They merged like two people coming home. It was right and natural, and inevitable. Then rioting sensations blotted her awareness of anything but Wade—his eagerness, his caring and his explosive climax.

Glorious waves rolled through Adrienne. Never before had she been lifted to such heights. Wade’s fierce thrusts melted the last of her resistance, and she soared. With him, beyond him.

Never end. Never end. Never end.

But when it did, her body eased into shining mellowness. Blissfully, Adrienne nestled against Wade’s shoulder as he pulled the covers over them.

* * *

H
E
’
D
NEVER
BEEN
in love, although he’d mistaken infatuation for love once, fleetingly. Waking in the early-morning light, Wade recognized how little he’d understood.

When you loved someone, you cared as much for her happiness as for your own. You shared a private world, and you almost didn’t mind that you’d have to be parted occasionally, because you’d always come home to her again. You didn’t have to erect walls to protect your heart, because she was on the inside with you.

One thing aroused his curiosity. When he’d mentioned protection, Adrienne had stiffened. Was she keen on having children right away? He wouldn’t mind, except that pregnancy could be hard on a woman. But to bring another child into the world, well, how fantastic.

The clock read 5:22 a.m. Too bad his body didn’t automatically adjust to a Sunday schedule, Wade mused. Unwilling to get up, he leaned over the side of the bed and took his cell phone from his pocket. He’d been meaning to order an instructional guitar DVD for Reg. Might as well do that now.

Soon he was quietly surfing the web.

* * *

A
DRIENNE
AWOKE
IN
the gray morning light. There should be sunshine to match her mood, winter or not. Stretching contentedly, she peered up at Wade, who sat absorbed in a tiny illuminated screen.

Typical male, she thought indulgently. “Morning,” she said.

“Back at ya,” he teased.

A quick check assured her that they’d closed and locked the door last night. Any minute Reg might come bounding down the hall.

Sitting up, Adrienne glanced at Wade’s phone. Abruptly, the air in the room chilled. Why was he studying a website about baby clothes and nursery furnishings?

“What...” Her throat closed, and she had to swallow before continuing. “What’s that about?”
Please tell me you’re buying a present for Cole and Stacy.

Warmth suffused his face. “I have to admit, you’ve opened a new world to me. I never thought past having my son, but now...”

“You want a baby.” She struggled to keep her tone even.

“Only if...” He left the sentence unfinished. “Hey, no hurry. I don’t mean to rush things, but I’ve changed these past few months.” Setting the phone aside, he shifted toward her. “With you, with Reg, I’ve learned a lot about myself and that I really love being a father. Thinking about what you do at work, what your friends are experiencing, that would mean the world to me.” He reached out and stroked her abdomen.

He couldn’t have hurt her more if he’d slapped her.
Tell him now,
Adrienne thought.

The pain ran too deep. She’d finally opened up to a man, grown to love and trust him, only to learn that she’d made a terrible blunder. And it wasn’t even his fault.

I should have been honest sooner.
But she’d never meant to let their relationship develop this far.

She moved away. “Wade, I’m sorry.”

“For what?” He studied her uncertainly.

“Last night...” She hurried on, afraid to stop because she might lose her nerve. “It was a mistake.”

His eyes narrowed. “What are you talking about?”

“Not entirely a mistake.” Adrienne hoped she sounded more coherent to him than to herself. “We’re compatible physically. That’s obvious. The thing is, we share so much, from our backgrounds to our devotion to Reggie, that...we shouldn’t confuse that with love. With building a future.”

Anger flared on his face, as if he’d been stabbed in the back. Which, she supposed, he had been. “You can’t mean that.”

“I do.”
Liar, liar.

“Why are you saying this?” He shook his head. “Granted, I don’t know much about women, but I’d have sworn—”

“Please accept my decision.”

“What decision?” he demanded. “You’re tearing us apart for no reason just when we’re coming together. Sharing a house, sharing a bed.”

Feeling her back to the wall, she instinctively fought harder. “Did you miss the part about our living arrangement being temporary?”

“You’re throwing me out?” Wade asked in disbelief. “Adrienne, we need to talk about this.”

“I can’t.” Her throat constricted. She hadn’t intended to make him leave, but every instinct commanded that she protect herself. The longer she waited, the greater the devastation.

“Have you thought how this will affect Reggie?” he demanded. “Let’s give it a chance.”

“I have a right to say no.” She swallowed. “You should respect that.”

“But...”

In the hallway, she heard Reggie’s footsteps. “We can’t let him find us like this. It will make everything worse.”

His jaw tight, Wade swung out of bed and grabbed his clothes. He disappeared into the bathroom.

The doorknob rattled and held. “Aunt Addie? Why’d you lock the door?”

Adrienne’s chest hurt. It took all her self-control to rise, pull on a robe from a chair and hurry to the door.

She gazed down at her nephew’s sweet little face, bright with morning enthusiasm. “Guess I pressed the lock by accident.”

He accepted the excuse without question. “I’m hungry.”

“Let’s fix breakfast.” Swinging the door shut behind her, she steered her nephew toward the stairs.

* * *

W
ADE
REPLAYED
THE
conversation in his mind as he showered in the hall bathroom, where he’d scooted as soon as he heard their voices safely downstairs. He still didn’t understand what had happened. Adrienne’s rejection was beyond comprehension. He’d trusted her. Loved her. And assumed she felt the same.

He must have projected his emotions onto her. Misread her completely. Now he mistrusted all his reactions where she was concerned.

One thing was clear, Wade decided as he switched off the water. As much as he hated being separated from his son, Adrienne had a right to make him leave her house. He’d have to work extra hard so Reg wouldn’t feel abandoned.

If that was possible.

* * *

W
HEN
W
ADE
ENTERED
the kitchen, Adrienne had no idea what to expect. Anger, most likely, yet he appeared cool, guarded and in control. Also utterly desirable, a sweatshirt defining his chest and jeans hugging his lean hips.

If only he would meet her gaze, but he didn’t.

“Hi, Dad!” Reggie waved a spoon, sending milk droplets across the table. Adrienne mopped them with her napkin. Normally she’d have pointed out his carelessness, but she didn’t trust herself to speak.

“Hey, sport.” At the counter, Wade filled a bowl with cereal. “Listen, remember that suite we looked at?”

“Sweet?” Reg repeated.

“Like an apartment.” At the table, his father poured milk into the bowl, avoiding Adrienne’s gaze.

“Uh-huh.” The little boy sounded puzzled.

“Well, they called and they have a unit ready for me.” Wade’s smile lasted barely a millisecond. “I have to move in today or they’ll give it to somebody else.”

The motel hadn’t called, Adrienne thought miserably. Wade had phoned them. But she had no doubt the rest was true. And it was her fault.

“It’s the holidays!” Reg protested.

“Here’s how I calculate it,” Wade continued. “I’ll be moving there today. Tomorrow night—that’s Monday—you can sleep over with me and give Aunt Addie a break. Tuesday’s Christmas Eve, and she has the night off, so you guys can celebrate together. The next afternoon, I’ll pick you up after lunch and we’ll open presents at my new place.”

Under the table, Adrienne clenched her fists. She hated this, his leaving. Yet she’d brought it on herself.

“I want to spend Christmas with my family,” Reg argued. “My
whole
family. Dad, don’t go.”

Anguish etched lines into Wade’s face. She was hurting him and hurting Reggie, Adrienne saw. But blurting out the truth was hardly a solution. At this point it might make things worse.

At least he’d offered a workable plan. And he hadn’t used his ultimate threat. He could still most likely prevail in court and take her little boy from her.

She trusted him to rise above that. But the possibility terrified her.

“Reg, my staying here was always meant to be temporary,” Wade told him. “Just until I found a place where you could stay overnight. The timing’s lousy, but we’ll all adjust. I’ll be right here in town, and we’ll see each other on Saturdays and...other days.”

“No!” Tears ran down Reggie’s cheeks. When Adrienne reached for him, he shrugged her off. “I want both my parents!”

“And you’ll have us.” Wade’s chest rose and fell heavily. “Just not together.”

“You’re ruining Christmas.” His face crumpling, the little boy ran past his father. Adrienne heard him thump up to his room.

Shaken, she turned to Wade. “I’m sorry that he’s blaming you.”

He lifted the spoon to shovel cereal into his mouth and then set it down still full. “I’m honoring your request.”

“Maybe...” She wasn’t sure how to finish that sentence.

Wade looked straight at her, finally. “Let’s not fight. Let’s not unload on each other the way my parents used to do. I’m not sure about yours.”

Adrienne nodded. Her parents had staged their share of wrenching battles.

“Let’s get through the holidays as best as we can and keep things friendly for Reggie’s sake,” he went on. “It’s lucky my father and grandfather weren’t expecting any festivities.”

“Once Reg gets used to the idea of you living nearby, he’ll be fine.” She hoped that was true.

“He needs us both,” came his taut response.

“Then we’ll make sure he has us both.”

Without further conversation, Wade dumped his cereal in the trash and went out.

How could she have gone so quickly from utter happiness to heartbreak? Adrienne wondered. And how had she managed to wreck the holidays for everyone?

She’d figure something out, she told herself as she rose to clear the table. Somehow, she always did.