The Summer Garden (16 page)

Matthew nodded. “I’d say yes,” he agreed, glancing at his wife for confirmation.

“Really bad,” Laila said emphatically. “Do you love her or not, Luke? Isn’t that the real issue here?”

“But the timing—”

“Maybe it sucks or maybe it’s just the way it is,” she said. “I wasn’t exactly ready to jump into this relationship with Matthew, you know, but there he was, all sexy and cute and persistent, and look where we are now.”

“Please God, don’t start seducing each other right here in front of me,” Luke pleaded, seeing the way Matthew’s eyes darkened at Laila’s words. He shook his head. “Never mind. I’ll be on my way now. Thanks for the advice.”

But even as he practically ran for the door, he realized they were no longer listening to a word he said.

Nell had detected Moira’s unhappiness when she came back from spending her day with Luke at the pub. The girl hardly made a secret of it when she was having a bad day. Her dark and gloomy expression told the story.

“Where’s my grandfather?” Moira asked.

“Resting,” Nell told her. “He helped me work in the garden this morning, getting it ready to plant. It took a bit out of him.”

Alarm immediately crossed Moira’s face. “I don’t understand. Grandfather never tires. Are you sure he’s okay? Maybe I should check on him.”

Nell held up a hand. “Let him rest. When you’re our age, it takes a lot longer to completely recover from jet lag than it does at yours. At the end of a week, we’re just beginning to get our feet back under us.” She smiled at her. “It’s nice to see you so concerned about him.”

“Well, of course I am!” Moira said with a hint of indignation.

Nell’s smile widened. “It’s not a side of you I saw in Ireland,” she said.

Moira flushed. “You’re right, and I’m sorry. I was in a terrible mood over the holidays, and intent on taking it out on everyone else. I’m afraid that became a habit of mine over the years. I’ll go to my room now, so you don’t get sideswiped by my temper as well.”

“Oh, I’m sure I’m tough enough to take it,” Nell commented. “Why don’t we have a cup of tea and you can tell my why you looked so unhappy just now when you got back from Luke’s?”

Moira looked as if she’d prefer to get into the garden and dig for snails to eat, but she clearly couldn’t come up with an excuse that wouldn’t be considered impolite. “Sure,” she said reluctantly, following Nell into the kitchen.

Nell always had a teakettle on the stove ready to be heated. While the water came to a boil, she put loose tea into one of her china pots, then poured the steaming water over it.

While it steeped, she put two of the traditional currant scones she’d baked earlier onto plates and set one in front of Moira, along with a pot of jam and some Devonshire cream that Jess ordered for her from one of the suppliers for her inn.

“I love this room,” Moira said quietly as Nell finally joined her. “There’s so much light in here, and the view is spectacular. It soothes me just to sit here and look out the window.”

Nell nodded. “It does the same for me. Add in a cup of tea, and there’s virtually no problem that I can’t tackle right here at this table if I put my mind to it.”

“I wish I had a place like that,” Moira blurted, then looked embarrassed at having revealed so much about her state of mind.

Nell took the comment in stride. “We all need a place like that. Why are you troubled today? Are you feeling homesick?”

Moira shook her head. “In an odd way, it’s because I
don’t
feel homesick that I’m in this mood.” She regarded Nell earnestly. “I don’t have a life there—not really. I’ve worked jobs, if you know what I mean. I don’t have a career or a calling, at least not in the way that Mum and Grandfather would want for me to have. And the promise of a career in photography, despite the potential of it, doesn’t excite me the way I know it should.”

“But your future is your choice, not theirs,” Nell said, beginning to detect the problem. Moira, for all her rebellious ways, wanted to please her family, just as most young people did, whether they admitted it or not.

Moira seemed surprised by her comment. “Do you truly believe that?”

“Of course. Look at the paths my grandchildren have chosen. Abby seemed to know straightaway what she wanted. She has a gift for the financial world and has made her mark there almost from her first job on Wall Street. Bree had great ambitions about becoming a playwright, but her heart was here with Jake. She’s found a way to balance both, and added a wonderful flower shop as well. And Jess…” Her voice trailed off as she thought about Mick’s youngest.

“She has a successful inn,” Moira filled in for her. “She found her passion.”

“That she did,” Nell agreed, “but she tried any number of jobs before that. Not a one of them suited her, and not a one of them lasted.”

“She has attention deficit disorder, though,” Moira said. “Isn’t that why it was hard for her to find her way?”

“That was one of the reasons, certainly,” Nell agreed. “But the real key was for her to find the one thing she was passionate about, just as you said. You need to do the same thing. Some people gravitate directly to it. Others have to try a variety of things until they find the one that fits. Maybe photography is it, maybe not. You’ve won some accolades from Megan, who knows the field, so it’s surely worth considering.”

Moira nodded, her expression intrigued. “If I confide something to you, can you keep it to yourself?”

Nell smiled. “With all these grandchildren, I’ve learned to keep a secret or two.”

“I’ve never said all this to another soul, aside from hinting at it to Laila and Jess, who looked horrified, but what I want more than anything is to have a family—the kind I didn’t have when I was growing up. I want to be the mum who bakes cookies and walks my children to school, who volunteers for classroom outings and has dinner on the table when everyone gets home at the end of the day.”

Nell regarded her with amusement. “Why would you need to keep such a goal to yourself? It’s a good path. It’s the one I chose.”

Moira shrugged. “When there’s not a man in the immediate future, it’s a hard thing to admit.”

“I thought there
was
a man in your future—my grandson.”

Moira sighed. “He made it quite clear to me today that he’s a long way from wanting a future with me. His entire focus is on his new pub.” She met Nell’s gaze. “Which is as it should be. I understand how important this is to him, how badly he wants to make a success of it.” She shrugged. “I suppose I was just hoping I could be by his side to help.”

Nell frowned. “Did he turn away your offer of help?”

“Oh, no,” Moira said, a trace of bitterness in her voice. “He told me if I wanted a job, I could have one.” Her expression turned indignant. “Which wasn’t the point at all.”

Nell laughed. “Perhaps you were too subtle,” she said, though she couldn’t imagine such a thing. Moira struck her as pretty forthright.

Moira gave her a wry look. “Have you ever once known me to be subtle?”

Nell chuckled. “But it’s much harder to say what’s really in your heart when you’re not sure of the reception it will get.”

“That’s exactly it,” Moira said, looking surprised. “I got all bumbly and far too careful with my words, especially when I sensed that Luke was on an entirely different wavelength.” She regarded Nell hesitantly. “Is he the kind of man who will only appreciate me if I have some high-powered career?”

“Why would you ask that?”

“It’s just that it’s sometimes seen as politically incorrect for women today to choose family over work. When I talk about this with some of my girlfriends, they tend to think I’m daft. Laila and Jess certainly did.”

“Raising a family is never a bad choice, in my opinion,” Nell said. “There’s nothing more important that a woman can do. That said, I completely support any woman who is excited about her career and wants that balance in her life. How could I not, in a family like mine?”

Just then Dillon walked into the kitchen, took in the sight of them together at the kitchen table and smiled. “It’s nice to see two of the most important women in my life getting along so well,” he said, dropping a kiss on each of their foreheads.

“We’ve been having a wonderful chat,” Nell said.

“We have,” Moira confirmed. “Thank you for giving me a fresh perspective on things, Nell.”

“I always have a pot of tea and a friendly ear for family,” Nell said, winking at her.

“I think I’ll go for another walk on the beach,” Moira said. “You’ve given me a lot to think about. Perhaps this time things will fall into place.”

After she’d gone, Dillon regarded Nell with a lift of his brow. “I never expected to see the day when you and my granddaughter would be chatting away like magpies. What were you talking about?”

“This and that,” Nell said, chuckling at his obvious frustration. “I like her, Dillon. When she lets down that guard of hers, she’s lovely. She’s young and struggling to find her way, but I think she’s determined to make sense of her life and choose a future that will fulfill her.”

“You are speaking of Moira, is that right?” he asked, clearly not quite believing her unexpected praise.

Nell nodded. “I think I understand where that rebellion of hers comes from. She’s at a crossroads in her life, wanting things and not sure she’s making the choices that will please you and her mother.”

“All I want is to see her settled and happy,” Dillon said. “Isn’t that all any of us want for our children and grandchildren?”

“We know that,” Nell concurred. “But sometimes we don’t convey it all that well to them. We push and prod them to achieve various goals, be it in education or in their choice of a career. Sometimes we just need to let them be to find their own way.”

“And you honestly think Moira has found hers?”

“I think she’s getting there,” Nell confirmed.

“And would you like to share anything about this path she’s chosen? Is Luke in the middle of it?”

“That’s for them to decide now, isn’t it?” Nell said. “You and I need to spend this time forging our own path.”

But even as she said the words, she regretted that she had no idea what lay at the end of it. Even with Dillon’s promise to stay on for a time, there was far too much uncertainty about things at their age.

14

M
oira steered clear of Luke’s the day after their argument. She still had plenty of thinking to do. She was weighing her various options, which in some ways was a ridiculous waste of time. If her mental pro/con list came down on the side of a relationship with Luke and a family, it wasn’t as if she could snap her fingers and make it happen.

Her lack of control over her own destiny annoyed her as much as his intransigent attitude did. Was the man incapable of bending, of seizing an opportunity that was here now rather than pushing it off to a more convenient time? It was ironic, because the Luke she’d first met in Ireland had been charmingly spontaneous.

She’d spent most of the day alone on the beach, arguing with herself and getting nowhere, when she saw Laila approaching.

“Mind if I tag along?” Laila asked.

“Of course not, but why are you here, if you don’t mind my asking?”

“Do you want my trumped-up excuse?” Laila inquired with a grin. “I’m supposed to get more exercise, according to my obstetrician.”

Moira regarded her curiously. “But that’s not the real reason?”

Laila shook her head. “I heard about the fight between you and Luke. I decided that you and I have something in common.”

“We’re both involved with impossible O’Brien men?” Moira asked. “Though after yesterday, it seems as if I’m much less so than you are. You, at least, have a ring on your finger.”

Laila smiled. “That’s the thing,” she said. “Relationships aren’t entirely about whether there’s a ring on your finger.”

“Where I grew up, that was supposed to be the goal,” Moira said. “Even my mum, who’s been bitterly divorced for a very long time, preached that every chance she got.”

“I suspect what she really wants for you is to find a man who’ll love you with his whole heart, not just put a ring on your finger.”

Moira thought about that, then slowly nodded. “I do think that’s how my grandfather feels, so perhaps my mum does as well.”

“Not that you asked for my opinion, but personally I think that’s how Luke feels about you,” Laila said. “I can’t read his heart, but his actions certainly seem to indicate that his feelings are very strong. I’ve known him most of his life. No woman has ever kept his attention for so long. And I was there that night at Nell’s when he saw that you’d come with Dillon. The expression on his face was one of undisguised joy.”

Moira gave her a wry look, suddenly understanding what this visit was really about. Laila had come as a fence-mender. “Did he come blathering to you about offering me a job, then?” she asked her.

Laila laughed. “Yes, I believe we’re all agreed now that it was a boneheaded move on his part. Even Luke saw the error of his ways. He realized that he hadn’t read between the lines at all.”

Moira wasn’t convinced of that, but she didn’t argue. He hadn’t called last night or even this morning to beg her forgiveness or even to explain himself. She’d kept her cell phone with her for that very possibility, but it had remained stubbornly silent. She’d even checked the battery and the bars for reception to see if the phone was at fault. It wasn’t. It was Luke himself who’d remained silent.

“If not the O’Brien men,” she said to Laila, “what is it you think that you and I have in common?”

“We’re both at loose ends,” Laila said readily.

Moira listened in amazement as Laila described the way she’d quit the family bank after a feud with her father over her relationship with Matthew.

“So, here I am, having spent my entire life in banking, and now I’m running this little one-woman accounting office that’s so dull it bores me to tears. Even with the inn as a client, I have barely enough work to fill the hours of a couple of days a week. I’d done this before and it hadn’t seemed nearly so awful, but after having a taste of working at the bank for a short time in a challenging capacity, it feels as if my life is moving backward.”

“But your father came to the wedding,” Moira recalled. “Haven’t you made peace? Couldn’t you consider going back to work for him?”

Laila shook her head emphatically. “We’ve reconciled, but I can’t go back to the bank. I’ve accepted that my father will never really believe I belong there. Maybe it’s sexist, maybe it’s just an inability to see the extent of my competence.” She shrugged. “In the meantime, though, I’m floundering a bit, trying to find my way, to come up with a new direction, the same as you are.”

“It’s a bloody awful feeling, isn’t it?” Moira said, delighted to have found someone with whom she could honestly commiserate without feeling like a failure.

“Bloody awful,” Laila agreed. “But here’s the thing— I know one thing for sure. It’s not up to Matthew to fill that void for me or to point me in the new direction. Our relationship is separate.”

Moira regarded her with sudden understanding. She could see exactly how she’d managed to twist it all together. “So you’re saying that if I want this job at the bar, if I think it would fulfill me in some way, that should be entirely separate from Luke, even though it might bring us into daily contact?”

“Exactly,” Laila said. “Take the job, if you want it, and the legalities for you to stay here can be worked out. At the same time, if you and Luke build a relationship, if the love between you continues to grow, well, that will just be a further blessing, won’t it?”

Moira gave her a considering look. “Perhaps you’re the one who should be joining Luke behind the bar. You seem to have a real knack for giving out practical advice that makes total sense. Until this minute, I’d just worked myself into a frenzy expecting him to give me a package deal that would guarantee personal and professional happiness until the end of time.”

Laila laughed. “Who knows, though? Something tells me you could get both. If Luke’s anything like his brother, he’s an excellent multitasker. And despite Mick’s ridiculous split with Megan for a number of years, it’s evident that the men in this family tend to mate for life.” She grinned. “Once they get around to it, anyway.”

Her assessment made Moira smile. “What about you, though?” she asked Laila. “Do you have any idea about what you want to fill the void in your life?”

Laila rested a hand on her stomach, though it was far too soon for any evidence of a baby bump. “I think perhaps fate has stepped in,” she admitted, though she still didn’t sound entirely happy about it.

Moira frowned, wishing in some ways they could trade places. “A baby is a blessing, especially when the parents love each other, as you and Matthew do.”

“I know that, and we wanted children from the beginning, but I wanted to be settled as
me
first, if you know what I mean. I wanted a professional identity—the same as Abby and Bree and Jess. I spent most of my life envisioning myself as president of the Chesapeake Shores Bank. With that dream over, I need a new one.”

Moira thought she detected something in her voice that Laila might not even be aware she was conveying. “Is that because you really wanted to be president of the bank, or because you thought you should? Was it more about impressing your father, pleasing him? Or perhaps trying to prove something to your friends? Believe me, I can understand how spending time with such high achievers like the O’Briens can influence a person. People have seized on my sudden display of photography talent and taken off like a runaway train, thinking it’s the answer to my prayers.”

Laila looked surprised. “And it’s not? Truly?”

“Maybe it is,” Moira said. “But, to be honest, I don’t think it’s where my heart is. It’s just been a pleasant change to think I have such a grand option and to see something other than disappointment in my grandfather’s eyes.” She shrugged. “I suppose I’ll know with more certainty once I’m back in Dublin and have worked all those jobs Peter’s lined up for me. Then I’ll know if photography is truly satisfying to me or if I was only relieved to finally have a goal of some kind.”

“And you think the bank was something I’d built up in my mind, maybe even because I knew my father wanted Trace to take over, not me?”

Moira glanced over at her. “Is that possible? Sibling rivalry can be a powerful thing, especially if you felt you were competing for the approval of a parent.”

Laila looked genuinely surprised by the suggestion. “I’ve never looked at it that way before. And the truth is, I always chafed at the kind of person I felt I had to be—rigid, controlled, predictable—in order to hold that position. I’ve been much happier since Matthew lured me into breaking free of the way I saw myself and lived my life.”

“So maybe you haven’t lost as much as you thought you had,” Moira suggested.

Laila’s startled expression turned to relief. “Oh, my God, you could be exactly right, Moira!” she said excitedly. “I have the perfect chance to completely reinvent myself, don’t I?”

“Seems that way to me,” Moira said. “And what would you choose to be?”

The question seemed to dim Laila’s excitement. “Now that,” she said, “is the million-dollar question.”

Moira couldn’t help chuckling at her suddenly woebegone expression. “You’ve just officially joined the club I’ve been in all my life,” she said. “If it’s any consolation, I’m beginning to believe that there may be hope just around the corner for both of us.”

“Really?” Laila said doubtfully.

“Weren’t you the one who said just moments ago that it’s up to us to seize what we want and not to look to anyone else to hand it to us?”

“I did.”

“Well, then, that seems like a fine bit of information to have. It’s certainly given me a new perspective.”

“Do you have a next step in mind already?” Laila asked curiously.

“I’m going to see Connor about getting a work visa,” Moira said decisively.

Maybe staying on was a risk. Maybe it would give her and Luke the time they needed. There was no way to tell how things would turn out. The only thing she knew for sure was that if she went back to Ireland as scheduled, she might never know what could have been. As for those jobs she’d already accepted, she could fly home long enough to honor the commitments and then race right back here to follow her heart.

Luke had been dismayed, but not surprised, when Moira didn’t turn up at the pub the morning after their argument. After his conversation with Laila and Matthew, he knew he had some serious apologizing to do. Today just wasn’t going to be the day for it.

Not only were the dishes, silverware and glassware to be delivered, but so were the tables and chairs. That meant he had to get the construction crew and its debris out of here by midmorning. After that he had to be on the scene for all the deliveries. He couldn’t leave that to anyone else.

In the meantime, though, he did call Bree at Flowers on Main. “It has been reported to me on more than one occasion by the other men in this family that you’re great at creating the apology special,” he told her.

She laughed. “You need to be apologizing to Moira? I never saw that coming. She seems like the one more likely to say or do something requiring penance.”

“That’s family bias speaking,” he scolded her. “I’m no saint, and on occasion I can be a real dunderhead.”

“Really? What did you do?” she asked eagerly.

“Nothing I care to discuss with you,” he told his obviously fascinated cousin. “Can you come up with flowers for Moira or not?”

“Of course I can,” she said at once. “But she won’t be impressed.”

“Why not?”

“Too little effort on your part to call on me to help you make amends,” she told him. “Now if you want to do this right, you’ll go to Gram’s, risk life and limb by sneaking into the garden, and cut a proper bouquet.”

“You just want Gram to catch me and chase me with a broom, don’t you?” he accused.

“I was hoping maybe she still had one of Granddad’s old shotguns,” Bree admitted. “She used to threaten me with it enough when I yanked out flowers rather than weeds.”

“I think that was just meant to terrorize you,” Luke said, but he wasn’t entirely certain of that. “So, you really think fresh flowers I’ve picked myself are my only option?”

“It would be a sweet gesture,” she told him. “Few women could resist it.”

“The only problem is I’m stuck at the pub all day waiting for deliveries. This probably shouldn’t wait.”

“Boy, you really are in some kind of trouble, aren’t you?” Bree teased.

“You have no idea.” He paused, then said, “I suppose I could call Gram, throw myself on her mercy.”

“Not the same,” Bree said emphatically. “Your apology, your bouquet. Trust me. I’m a woman. I understand these things.”

“I believe you’re also the one who tried to convince me if I tied a blanket over my shoulders I could fly off the porch roof,” he said.

He heard a guffaw she obviously tried to hide.

“That was a bit of a miscalculation on my part,” she admitted. “You were annoying me.”

“And, of course, no one in the family believed you’d been behind it and the resulting broken wrist, because you were the quiet, solitary one who hid out in her room with her books,” he recalled.

“It was one of the rare times when that worked in my favor,” she said proudly.

“Does Jake have any idea what a devious woman you’re capable of being?”

“Absolutely not,” she said. “That also works in my favor.”