The Suicide Forest (The River Book 5) (13 page)

He stopped and went to his kitchen to find the Mason jar of
his father’s protection he kept in a cabinet. He poured himself a tall shot and
downed it.
May not be the same as Judith’s
, he thought,
but it’s
better than nothing.

He resumed reading. Although he was primarily interested in
learning more about his markings, he found the rest of the book too fascinating
to ignore. It catalogued many demons and their habits. There were specific ways
to invoke them and appeal to them. Their abilities and dangers were listed,
including ways to protect yourself from them.

Steven paused.
Why would you want to invoke a demon if you
had to protect yourself from it?
he wondered.
This book didn’t provide
any information on how a person would benefit from demonic involvement. So why
the interest? Why was Evie so drawn to them? Is the draw entirely the demon’s
doing?

From what he could decipher, demons rarely involved themselves
unless invited. He wondered if this would apply to Aka Manah as well – Evie
said it had developed an interest in him, would it leave him alone if he showed
no interest in it?

He snapped the book closed, afraid he might be digging
himself deeper without realizing it.

I’ll just read it for the parts on markings
, he thought.
That’s what I wanted
in the first place. That can’t be mistaken as interest in demons.

He reopened the book and tried to scan over the parts that
didn’t relate to his markings, but an occasional word would pop out at him and
catch his eye. He’d read a sentence or two, feel the hair go up on his neck,
and force himself to skip to a new paragraph. He’d never felt so creeped out by
a book before.

I need a break
, he thought, closing the book and setting it aside. It was
nearly dinnertime. He decided to reach out to Jason and return his call. Jason
didn’t pick up. Steven left him a message wondering if he had dinner plans.

For the next hour he killed time by reading a magazine,
cleaning the kitchen, and watching some television. A news report said that the
officer wounded at June’s house had died. Steven turned off the TV, more
depressed than ever. He knew Roy would take the news hard.

The book occupied his thoughts. He knew he was avoiding it,
like some kind of evil talisman.
I’m turning it into something it isn’t,
he thought.

After another hour and no return call from Jason, Steven
decided to make dinner on his own. He turned on the radio to listen to news,
hoping it would distract him while he ate.

After dinner, he decided to read some more, but the book was
gone. He’d left it on a sofa in the living room. It was missing.

Shit!
he thought.
I’m obsessing so much over this book I’m forgetting what
I’ve done with it.

He started searching, room by room. He checked under the
sofa, concerned he might have kicked it under by mistake.

The last room he checked was his bedroom. The book was there,
on his nightstand, right where he normally kept the current book he was
reading.

I don’t remember putting it there,
he thought.
But these days I
forget what I was supposed to buy at the grocery store if I don’t write it
down.

He picked up the book and brought it with him into the living
room. He turned on a light and sat down to read again.

The moment he opened the book he felt his skin crawl. He
snapped it shut immediately, and went to the kitchen to taken another dose of
protection. Then he returned and tried again.

He slowly settled into the flow of the book. The sections on
invoking and protecting oneself from evil didn’t bother him as much.
Probably
the protection I drank
, he thought. He continued reading about how to
interact with demons, and the varieties of demons. Soon he had abandoned his
quest for information on his markings and was completely wrapped up in the
information he was picking up about demonic entities.

He felt the protection swirling around inside him, radiating
warmth. Steven didn’t know the exact ingredients of Roy’s concoction, but he
knew it was primarily vodka. He began to feel comfortable.

He progressed through the section of the book that catalogued
demons. He noticed he was about halfway through the book. He turned the page,
and another book appeared.

Steven sat back, startled. The new book was sitting on top of
the one he was holding. He turned the page back, and the new book was gone.

What the fuck?
he thought.

He turned the page forward again, and the book reappeared. It
was a little smaller than the book he was holding, but it was a real book, a
half-inch thick, leather bound, sitting on top of the open pages of his
original book. When he turned another page forward, the book disappeared again.
He turned the page back, and the new book popped up. The book was somehow
hidden within the original book.

He studied the cover of the new book. It was smooth brown
leather, stained in places and cracking at the corners. There was no title on
the cover.

He opened the new book. It was handwritten.

“There is no going back,” the first sentence read.

Christ, should I keep reading?
he thought.
Certainly Judith
expected me to find this.

“Once the connection has been made between you and the evil
one, you can’t ignore it. It’s unlikely you’ll be able to kill it. Your only
hope is to make the connection unpalatable to the evil one.”

Steven gulped. The author of the book seemed to be writing
directly to him.

“You’ll be tempted to find a way to live with it. That’s what
the evil one wants. It wants you to go along with its plan. It will seduce you.
Acquiescing will be the path of least resistance. It will seem pleasurable. You
will enjoy the attention. You will either succumb or resist, but either option
will be on its terms, not yours. If you want to resist, keep reading. If you
want to succumb, stop reading and simply enjoy what it offers you. But you
cannot go back.”

Steven closed the new book and turned the page.
I want to
find information on my markings
, he told himself, not wanting to admit that
he was frightened to keep reading the new book.

He continued reading the original book, the catalog of demons
progressing. After a while he felt his eyes become heavy, and realized it was
time for bed. He went through his nightly routine of securing the house and
brushing his teeth. He went to the kitchen and took another swig of Roy’s
protection from the Mason jar, leaving it on the counter. Then he wound up in
bed. He reached for the remote to turn on the television, wanting to drift off
to the sound of something other than what he’d been reading about. On his
nightstand was the book.

I must have brought it in here with me,
he thought. He ignored the book and
used the remote, setting the timer to shut the TV off in an hour. Then he
drifted off.

◊

He awoke in the middle of the night. He awoke most nights.
Since he’d gotten older, a middle of the night trip to the bathroom had become
routine.

He crawled back into bed, looking up at the ceiling above
him. The room was dark except for the dim light from his alarm clock. Even
though he’d lived in the house for only a short time, he was used to the
shadows on the walls and the feel of the room at night.

He was about to close his eyes when he noticed movement.
There was something in the air above him, twisting. He strained his eyes to let
in more light. It looked like a very long piece of thread, twisting back and
forth into itself, straight above him in the bed. It formed a twisted ball, its
size undulating as it moved. He reached over and turned on the light next to
the bed, and it vanished.

He dropped into the flow. He saw nothing.

He slipped out of the flow, and as a pinch of pain hit the
back of his neck he reached over and turned off the light. He waited for his
eyes to adjust, and looked above him again.

The thread was there, moving and twisting.

There’s no going back
, he thought.
The connection has been made.
He closed
his eyes and tried to ignore it, hoping sleep would come back. He turned on his
side so he wouldn’t be tempted to open his eyes and see the phenomena above
him.

He wasn’t sure if he’d made it asleep or if he was just close
to it, when he felt the warm body slide up next to him in bed.
I must be
dreaming
, he thought.

He felt the body press against his back. He could feel
breasts pressing into him. It reminded him of the early years of his marriage,
when he and Sheryl actually touched each other.
Definitely a dream
, he
thought. The warmth of her body calmed him and he felt as though he was about
to drift off completely. Then he felt the warmth of something slipping between
his legs just above the knees. It forced its way upward as it grew and
enlarged.

Steven threw himself out of bed and onto the floor. He stood
and made his way to the light switch on the wall. He flicked on the light and
turned to face the bed.

There was a woman in his bed. At least, it looked like a
woman. She smiled at him, pulling the sheet down from her body to expose her
breasts.

Steven slipped into the River. Her features instantly turned
male. The creature’s eyes stared at him with an intensity of interest and
desire that frightened him. Steven was frozen, unable to look away. The
creature continued to stare at him, their gaze locked.

It’s trying to gauge my interest
, Steven thought. He saw the
creature’s smile broaden as it detected Steven’s thought.

“Get the fuck out!” Steven yelled.

The creature stared at him a moment longer, then smiled even
more. It swung its legs off the bed and stood up. Its head nearly reached the
ceiling. Its body was a deep red, and looked like it was covered in a thick,
leathery skin. It had a giant muscular chest. As it turned profile, he noticed
the horns emerging from its forehead; they looked weathered and wooden, reminding
Steven of the bark of a tree. When it turned to face him, he saw a giant
phallus, erect.

He dropped out of the River. The creature became a woman
again. She was his height, and perfectly proportioned. In fact, she looked a
lot like Sheryl when they first met.

“I’m on to you,” Steven said, backing out of the room and
into the kitchen. He noticed the Mason jar of protection sitting on the
counter, left out from the night before. He raised the jar to his lips and
turned to look at the creature as it followed him.

As he took the first gulp, he saw her turn the corner and
enter the kitchen. He noticed the knife block just to her left.
The smart
thing to do,
he thought,
is to grab a knife from the block – the biggest
one – and plunge it into my chest. If I’m dead, she can’t attack me.

He swallowed the gulp of protection and dropped the Mason
jar. It smashed on the ground, the rest of the protection spilling across the
kitchen floor. The woman stepped back from the liquid as it raced across the
linoleum towards her. Steven took a step towards the knife block, then felt the
protection wash into him. He realized how stupid the idea was.

The woman’s expression turned from a smile to a scowl, and
she walked back into the bedroom.

 Steven followed her. When he reached the bedroom, she was
nowhere to be seen. He slipped into the River and continued examining the room,
looking for any signs of her visit. Aside from the sheets pulled down on the
side of the bed where she had been, there was nothing. He left the River.

He checked the clock. 4 AM. He put on some clothes and pulled
the bedspread from his bed. He walked into the living room and turned on all
the lights. Then he laid down on the sofa and pulled the bedspread around him.

The protection will last several hours
, he thought,
but I’ll need more.
Roy will be up in a couple of hours. Let’s see if I can sleep between now and
then.

He closed his eyes, immediately seeing the giant demon in his
bedroom, coming at him. The thing had felt him in bed, had slid itself between
his legs. His body involuntarily shook at the thought.

He sat up.
I’m not going to be able to sleep
, he
thought. He walked back into the bedroom and grabbed the book from his
nightstand, taking it back into the living room. He opened the book to the
middle section, turning pages until he found the new book. He began to read,
and read until the sun came up.

“You look like shit,” Roy said, letting Steven into his
house.

“It was a bad night,” Steven said, walking in.

“You shouldn’t eat just before bed,” Roy said. “It’s not good
for you.”

“This wasn’t digestion, Dad,” Steven said. “It was demonic.”

“Hmm,” Roy said. “Are we still going to get coffee?”

“We are,” Steven said, “but first I was wondering how much
protection you have on hand.”

“Just a jar full,” Roy said. “Why?”

“Can you make more?” Steven asked. “A lot more? I used up all
mine last night, and it’s the only reason I’m here talking to you right now.”

“Used it all?” Roy asked.

“I dropped it,” Steven said. “It’s a long story. Can we
please take some now, before we go? And do you need any ingredients to make
more? We could pick stuff up while we’re out.”

“No, I’ve got what I need,” Roy said, walking to the cabinet
where he kept his Mason jar, and handing it to Steven. Steven took a long gulp
and handed it back to Roy. “I suggest you take some,” Steven said. “I think
you’ll need it to listen to what I’m going to tell you.”

◊

They drove to Geraldine’s and got a booth where they could
chat over coffee and eggs. Steven related the night’s events to Roy, who became
increasingly concerned as the story progressed.

“So it tried to fuck you?” Roy asked.

“I don’t know,” Steven said. “The feeling I got was that it
really wanted me to want it. Like it wanted me to be on its side. It wanted me
to give myself over to it, willingly. It was a secuction.”

“To willingly let it fuck you?” Roy asked. A patron in the
booth next to them turned to look at Roy.

“Will you keep your voice down?” Steven asked. “It wasn’t
about the sex. It was about desire.”

“You have a desire to be fucked?” Roy asked.

“Will you drop the ‘fucked’ part?” Steven asked. “I’m trying
to tell you what it was like. Stop concentrating on that.”

“Damn hard not to,” Roy said.

“It was a mind fuck,” Steven said. “Like how it twisted
Robbie’s thinking. I actually considered stabbing myself. I thought it was a
great idea. If I’d taken that swallow of protection two seconds later, I might
be dead on my kitchen floor right now.”

“Christ!” Roy said. “What do we do?”

“I’ve been reading up on that,” Steven said, taking a sip of
coffee and pulling a book out from his jacket. “Judith’s book. There’s more
inside it than just the book itself. Turn to where I’ve marked.”

Roy took the book and turned the pages to Steven’s bookmark.
He started reading the page. “What am I looking for?” Roy said.

“Didn’t it pop out?” Steven said, looking over the top of the
book.

“What pop out?” Roy said, tipping the book top down so Steven
could see it.

“Huh,” Steven said, looking at the pages, which appeared
normal. “Can I have it back?”

“Sure,” Roy said, handing the book back to Steven. Steven
closed the book and reopened it to the bookmark. The new book appeared. He
tilted the top of the book down so Roy could see it.

“Look,” Steven said. “This book pops up within it.”

“Wow,” Roy said. “Didn’t pop up for me.”

Because it’s only intended for me
, Steven thought. “I’ll bet it’s
responding to my markings,” he said.

“Oh, now there’s special books for you, too,” Roy said
sarcastically.

“I read most of it this morning, while I was waiting for you
to wake up,” Steven said. “It basically describes how to handle a demon. It says
once you’ve formed a connection with one, you only have two choices: either
submit or resist. You can’t break the connection and you can’t kill the demon.
You can only give in or make yourself unpalatable.”

“Unpalatable?” Roy asked. “Like your markings?”

“I think Aka Manah is an old demon,” Steven said, “and I
don’t think he’s as afraid of my markings as most demons. I think he’s
encountered my type of markings before, and he considers them a challenge. And
I think that’s why he’s interested in me. The challenge of it.”

“Could be,” Roy said. “Like people who play with snakes, even
though they know how dangerous they are.”

“Exactly,” Steven said. “He gets off on it.” The image of the
demon’s erect phallus entered Steven’s mind. He shook his head to clear it.

“I hope you’re not basing any of this on what Evie had to
say,” Roy said. “I don’t trust Evie. She’s so enamored with Vohuman. Perhaps
it’s some kind of a trick. Why trust a demon whore?”

The people in the booth next to them turned to look at Roy
again.

“Would you
please
keep your voice down?” Steven said.
“There’s kids eating in this restaurant. You’re going to get us thrown out.”

“Demon whore,” Roy repeated, whispering.

“I don’t trust her either,” Steven said. “But there’s no
disputing the fact that something is after me. I don’t know if it was Aka
Manah, or Vohuman, or something else. But I get the feeling it’s not going to
let go until I deal with it somehow.”

“So if your markings aren’t enough to scare it away,” Roy
said, “then what?”

“This book seems to understand it,” Steven said, pointing at
it. “It describes demons being drawn to the markings and being repelled by them
at the same time. You have to use the markings, but there are things you need
to do to give yourself an advantage.”

“Like what?”

“Well, one thing it suggests is amplifying them.”

“Amplifying?”

“Yes,” Steven said. “They’re strong enough to frighten away
normal demons on their own, but like I said, not old powerful ones like Aka
Manah. You have to amplify the effect of the markings on him, or he’ll not back
down.”

“How do you do that?” Roy asked.

“That’s where I’m going to need your help,” Steven said. “The
book describes a three-step approach. First you get the demon into a setting
where it’s comfortable. That makes it lower its natural defenses, which sets it
up for the next step. When it approaches you, you ‘shock’ it with an
amplification of the markings. The demon has an extreme reaction, going from a
relaxed state to a stressed state. Apparently they hate that.”

“That’s enough to get it to back down?” Roy said.

“No,” Steven said. “You have to make sure it echoes. That’s
the third step.”

“Echoes?” Roy asked.

“When the amplification is done, the demon’s biology resets
back to the relaxed state almost immediately, but within a split second the
demon goes on alert, and is no longer relaxed. At that point the amplification
won’t shock it nearly as strong. You have to shock it again, before it goes on
alert. Each time it relaxes you have a split second again to attack and achieve
the extreme reaction. It’s like an echo, you can attack the thing a hundred
times very quickly before it can react. According to this book, it’s effective.
I get the feeling the book was written by someone with experience.”

“How do you amplify it?” Roy asked.

“I do it with my mind,” Steven said. “But there’s a substance
I have to ingest in order to be able to do it. There’s an ingredient list in
the book.”

“And the echo?” Roy asked.

“Mirrors,” Steven said. “You position the demon between
mirrors when you do it.”

“Of course,” Roy said, becoming enthusiastic about the idea.

“That leaves the place,” Steven said. “I have no idea where
you’d do this, where a demon would be comfortable.”

“I do,” Roy said. “I know just the place.”

“Where?” Steven asked.

“Tell me the ingredient list,” Roy said. “We have to be sure
we can get them all.”

Steven flipped the book to the pages that contained the items
they’d need for the amplification. He read them off to Roy, who nodded his head
at each one. When he was done, Roy smiled.

“There’s only one item I’m worried about getting,” Roy said,
“but I know I saw some at Eliza’s when we were at her house in California.
Remember her third floor lair?”

“Yes,” Steven said. “But she’ll want to know what we want it
for.”

“We’ll tell her,” Roy said. “Then she’ll want to come up and
help. And we’ll accept her help, because this is going to be tricky to pull
off.”

◊

Eliza was to arrive on a flight that evening. Steven and Roy
used the day to read through the entire book within the book, Steven reading
aloud to Roy since the book wouldn’t appear for Roy.

They took breaks, and Roy mixed up more protection. Steven
asked him if he could watch, and to his surprise, Roy agreed. Sure enough, the
concoction was mostly vodka. Roy was insistent that it be Popov.

“That would explain the burning,” Steven said. “Could you use
a better vodka, something top-shelf?”

Roy glared at him. “I’ve been making this protection since
before you were born. It’s what’s protecting you from a demon that wants to
fuck you. Why would you want to change it?”

“How many times do I have to tell you it doesn’t want to fuck
me?” Steven said. “What it wants are my hands, like Robbie, and it’s trying to
get me to give in without a fight. And I thought if you used, say, Grey Goose
or Belvedere maybe it wouldn’t burn as much going down.”

“If you think I’d pay that much for vodka you’re crazy,” Roy
said.

“What if I chipped in the difference?” Steven said.

“You’re messing with the recipe,” Roy said. “Shut up and
watch.”

To the vodka Roy added a variety of ingredients. He seemed to
be eyeballing them all, except for one that he took extra care to measure out
very precisely, using a very tiny spoon.

“Remember when I told you about that mineral purchase I and
Dixon made from Jurgen?” Roy said as he dropped the contents of the spoon into
the liquid in the Mason jar. “Well, this is it. I discovered this gives it a
pep.”

“A pep?” Steven asked.

“Everybody makes protection their own way,” Roy said,
“usually the way their parent or whoever winds up training them shows them how
to do it. The way I’m showing you is exactly like my father’s way, except for
this mineral.”

“What made you decide to change your father’s recipe?” Steven
asked.

“Not change,” Roy said. “Enhance.”

“Enhance then,” Steven said. “How did you figure out the
mineral would pep it up?”

“By accident,” he said, placing a lid on the Mason jar and
swirling the ingredients around inside. “Mine shaft in Utah. I thought I was
chasing a ghost there, but it turned out to be something from the evil side of
the fence, as you put it. This mine was unstable, and pieces of the walls would
fall as I walked through it. Lots of abandoned mines like that in Utah. I had
just swallowed some protection from a canteen I brought in when a section of
the roof ahead of me dropped, billowing up a huge cloud of a thin, white
powder. I couldn’t help but inhale it. I noticed I felt stronger. So I stopped
and took a sample of it, so I could have it analyzed and figure out what it
was. I experimented with adding it to protection until I got just the right
amount, which is why I measure it out carefully whenever I make a batch. It’s
goddamn expensive. And, if you use too much, you have hallucinations and you
become useless.”

“That’s why you wanted to buy a large quantity from Jurgen?”
Steven asked. “A lifetime supply?”

“Exactly,” Roy said. “That and I wanted to buy in bulk for a
cheaper price. You know, like Costco. I have enough to last you and Jason for
years.”

Steven stopped for a moment. He tried to imagine showing this
process to Jason, and he couldn’t.
I still don’t know enough,
he
thought.
Until today, I didn’t even know how to make protection. I’m still a
million miles from being prepared to tutor him.

“Buying from Jurgen was a mistake,” Roy said, “but at the
time I didn’t know where else to go to get it. Dixon and I were young, and we
didn’t know many people with the gift. Since then Dixon has met a lot more
people, and keeps track of them, better than I do. What do they call that, when
you meet lots of people and then meet their friends? There’s some word people
use to describe that nowadays.”

“Networking?” Steven asked.

“Yes,” Roy said, “that. He has a lot of people in his
network. There’s a lot of places we could go now to get more if we needed it,
from legit dealers, not scum like Jurgen. We didn’t know any better at the
time.”

Steven watched the liquid slowly settle down inside the Mason
jar as Roy stopped swirling it.

“Do you think you could make it, if you needed to?” Roy
asked.

“I think so,” Steven said. “Of course I don’t have all the
ingredients.”