The Substitute Bride (18 page)

“I’ll start back here.” She dropped to her knees and dipped her rag into the bucket.

“You’ll mess up your dress,” he said, getting a rag. “Can’t hurt these here overalls.”

Oscar started in the back and Elizabeth followed behind him, washing the woodwork. Her skirts kept getting tangled up around her. If only she had on pants, though the sight might shock the Moore brothers into apoplexy.

Mr. Sorenson appeared at the door carrying red-checked material. “Here are those oilcloths you wanted. Oh, let me do that. You’ll ruin your dress. It’s so pretty, too.”

“I hemmed it myself—well, with a little help from Ted.”

“It’s hard to picture Ted with a needle in his hand—”

“He didn’t sew—”

“Though I recall watching him stitch up a piglet’s leg.”

“Oh, my.”

“Squealed its head off, but that didn’t stop Ted. He clamped that squirming shoat between his knees and—”

Elizabeth gulped. “I’ve got the picture.”

Mr. Sorenson grabbed the cloth and went to work. Elizabeth washed the back window, imagining curtains out front and trying to put out of her mind the image of Ted’s pig doctoring.

Though there was one thing she’d learned. Farmers made do. Farmers were jacks-of-all-trades. Farmers weren’t squeamish.

Nothing about Elizabeth fit farm life.

Around noon Mrs. Sorenson appeared carrying a tray with three thick slabs of ham between slices of fresh-baked bread and tin cups of hot tea. “Hubert, I left your dinner and the Moore brothers’ on the table in the back. Mind the store. I’m eating with Elizabeth.” Once they’d left, Lucille smiled at Elizabeth. “I can’t tell you what a relief it is to have you handling our books. You’ve given Hubert a new lease on life.”

“I’m getting the better deal.” She nibbled on her sandwich. “Would you know where I could get two cots?”

“Well, sure, we’ve got some nice ones.” Lucille frowned. “Why would you need cots?”

She couldn’t tell the proprietor her plans. Not until she’d talked to Ted. She owed him that much.

But Lucille didn’t leave the subject alone. “Are you planning on moving in here?”

“I might be.” She swallowed a sip of water, flushing the food she’d eaten down her suddenly dry throat, and then explained her reasons for bringing Robby there.

“I doubt Ted will think much of the idea. No husband would—” Her gaze turned speculative, but she didn’t ask questions.

Once Lucille took her tray and disappeared next door, Elizabeth heaved a sigh. Moving in here would cause people to talk, but helping Robby came first.

With an hour until she had to gather the children from school, Cecil showed up with the tables. “May not look like much but they’re solid and won’t tip, if’n the ladies put their elbows on ’em.”

Elizabeth covered them with the oilcloth, not exactly linen but practical and cheerful. Though smaller than she’d like, the tables were sturdy, serviceable and cost nothing. Something she’d come to appreciate.

By the time she left, Elizabeth’s club room shone. Cecil stayed behind, insisting he’d wait to help her with the chairs.

At the school, Elizabeth spoke to the teacher, who assured her the chairs wouldn’t be missed until the eighth-grade commencement at the end of the month. Feeling optimistic, Elizabeth asked for twelve. Robby helped the older boys load them in the back while she herded Anna and Grace into the wagon.

Anna twisted on the seat to take a look. “Where are we taking the chairs?”

Elizabeth couldn’t very well explain about the ladies’ club until she’d talked to Ted. “To a shop next to the mercantile.”

Anna looked puzzled but forgot about the chairs when Grace mentioned the upcoming spelling bee.

True to his word, before she’d stopped the horses, Cecil lumbered off the Sorenson porch to retrieve the chairs. “Well, Anna girl, looks like your new mama is opening one of them fancy clubs for ladies.”

Anna’s eyes grew wide and she scampered down from the wagon and dashed inside the building.

Once she dropped off Jason, Elizabeth would talk to Anna. Ask Ted’s daughter to give her a chance to talk to Ted.

About the ladies’ club.

Soon to be her and Robby’s quarters.

Was she making a mistake? Did God approve of her decision? He’d opened that door Ted talked about. Still, doubt nagged at her. She wasn’t ending the marriage, but with every day packed with chores and children, she never had a minute to examine what she wanted. But if not for Robby’s unhappiness, she wouldn’t take this step. She had to find a way to restore his joy, even if it meant taking drastic action.

If she hadn’t taken action in Chicago, she’d be married to Reginald Parks and Robby would be in boarding school.

A sense of peace surrounded her, as if God Himself had given her permission to flee. Would Ted see it that way?

T
he minute Elizabeth drove in with the children, Ted took one look at her and knew something was up. He said nothing, not through supper, nor while they shared the task of putting the children to bed. But now as they sat at the table drinking coffee, separated by inches but miles apart, he had to know her plans. “Looks like you had a good day.”

“Why would you say that?”

“You’re different. There’s a glow about you.” She’d never looked more beautiful. “It’s becoming.” He took her hand. “What happened today?”

Her eyes lost their sparkle, becoming guarded, even wary. As a gambler, he’d mastered the nuances of expression. She locked her gaze with his. In that moment, Ted knew that he wouldn’t like whatever she had to say. He squared his shoulders. “Tell me.”

“I’ve found something of my own, something that will make me happy.”

“You’re unhappy here.” It was a statement, not a question.

She removed her hand from his grip. “Not unhappy exactly. Just not happy. It’s not your fault, Ted. Or the children’s.”

“Then what is it?”

Biting her lip, she looked away, a furrow between her delicate brows. “It’s hard to explain.” Her fingers trembled on the handle of her cup. “I need freedom.”

He could barely get the words out, but he had to know. “You want a divorce?”

She shook her head. “I made my promise to you before God.”

Weak with relief, he slumped against the back of his chair. But if not a divorce, then where would this conversation lead?

“I’ve jumped into this marriage. I tried to handle your and the children’s expectations, but the truth is I don’t know what I want, who I am. I need the freedom to find out.”

“Doing what?”

“Mr. Sorenson will let me use the empty building next to the mercantile in exchange for taking care of the store’s books. I plan to form a ladies’ club.”

“So your head for figures will pay for this adventure.”

“I used to want adventure.” Tears filled her sapphire eyes. “Now I just want…me.” She sighed. “I’m confused.”

Well, she wasn’t alone in that. What did she want? How would a ladies’ club give it to her? Where would her quest for freedom take her? His heart sank. No doubt farther away from him. Ted picked up his cup. “So what’s your plan for this ladies’ club?”

“Women need a tranquil place to enjoy one another’s company and exchange ideas, find ways to improve their minds, the town.”

“There’s quilting bees and church functions—”

“No, not merely what they can do but to explore who they are.” She laid a hand on his arm. “This isn’t about other women. Not really. I’m doing this for me.” She folded and refolded her napkin. “And for Robby.”

“How will a ladies’ club help Robby?”

“I have to figure out why Robby can’t adjust and how to help him. Anna has accepted him. Tippy follows him around. You’re
good to him. Yet my brother’s miserable. Maybe he needs time with me. Like me, time to find his way.”

“I’ve tried everything I can think of—”

“I’m not blaming you. I’m not blaming anyone.” Her mouth tightened. “Except maybe my father for forcing us into a new life.”

Ted cringed. Elizabeth had been forced to marry him.

“Robby misses Papa and Martha, but he can’t go back to Chicago.” She sighed. “Maybe alone with me, Robby will speak freely. So…we’re moving out.”

A lump lodged in his throat. He set down his cup with a clink. “The children need you. I forbid it.”

Her chin jutted, her eyes narrowed, her mouth thinned.

He might as well have waved a red flag in front of a bull but he couldn’t stop himself. He didn’t want her to leave. And it wasn’t only the children who needed her. She’d brought life into the house. Into him. He cared about her. Yes, at times she rubbed him the wrong way, like rough sandpaper against his skin. But she also captivated him.

She rose. “You can’t stop me.”

He gave an imitation of a laugh, a scratchy sound. “Guess your escape from Chicago proves that.” He stood and stepped toward her. “Have you forgotten we’re married?”

“You’re the one who called our marriage a business deal.”

His fingers curved around her cheeks. “It’s no longer a business arrangement to me.” If he told her how much he’d grown to care for her, she’d get that haunted look in her eyes. Like a trapped animal facing execution. Why didn’t she know he’d never hurt her? “But if it were, by leaving, you’re breaking the contract.”

“Robby and I need this. I won’t give it up.” She pushed his hands away. “I’m sorry.”

“Have you prayed about this?”

She gave a gentle smile. “I have. I know it’s not what you want, but in my heart, I believe I’m doing the right thing.”

A part of him wanted to beg her to stay, but the other part understood the need to examine whether the path you’d chosen was the right one. Or if you had what it took to change course.

But why did he keep feeling God’s Call to ministry when a pastor’s wife didn’t solve problems by leaving her family? He’d have to trust Elizabeth enough to let go, to let her find her way and help her brother find his. “I don’t like it but I’m trying to understand.”

She walked past him. “Tomorrow morning Rebecca will drop me off at the shop after she takes the children to school.”

“Sounds like you’ve got it all worked out.”

He heard the bitterness in his tone. Well, why not? Hadn’t she wormed her way into all their hearts and now would be leaving a hole as big as Gibraltar? He slowed his breathing. Tried to get a handle on his resentment. Keep that even keel he prided himself on.

Numbers 35:6 popped into his mind. “This ladies’club may be your city of refuge. For a time.”

She gave him a beautiful, happy smile. “Thank you, Ted, for understanding how I feel.”

Lord, how can I show her I care?

“Elizabeth?” She raised her gaze to his. “I’ll ask Hubert to open an account for you and credit it with the egg money. For food or whatever you need. I wish I had more.”

“You’d do that for me?” she said softly. “Help me when I’m leaving?”

I’d do a lot more if you’d let me.
Instead he said, “I’m sorry for trying to make you stay. I was wrong.” He took her hand. “You need to do this.”

He understood how tired she must be of feeling forced into things. Of not getting to choose what she wanted. Not her path, not her husband. The only way she’d know if she’d made the right choice was to leave.

Tears flowed down her cheeks. “No one has willingly let me decide anything. Ever. Thank you.” She rose on her toes and kissed his cheek.

Though Elizabeth pointed to Robby, he suspected the main reason for her departure came down to their marriage of convenience. He should’ve seen this coming. She’d married him to give her brother security, a happy home. That plan had failed.

Would their marriage also fail? Divorce wasn’t the only way for a marriage to die.

Ted’s pulse kicked up a notch. By giving her money, he’d made her flight easier. She might not miss him, but he counted on her missing his children. So much she’d come back. Soon.

Watching his wife retreat into the bedroom, he hoped their marriage would survive this test.

In his entire life, he’d never taken a bigger gamble.

Elizabeth slipped her and Robby’s clothes and toiletries into the satchel while Robby slept curled up in the bed, unaware that tomorrow they’d move to town.

By leaving, she was adding to Ted’s troubles. But she had to go. Or one morning she feared she’d wake up hating him.

He’d said she had a glow about her. The exact words Rebecca had said earlier when Elizabeth had dropped off Jason from school.

Only, Rebecca had asked if she was pregnant—the biggest irony of all. She and Ted had no real marriage. Her leaving was merely an inconvenience for Ted, maybe an embarrassment. But with Lily and Richard still in town, he’d find a way to keep his life on that even keel he prized.

Elizabeth slipped out of her clothes and into her nightgown, and then crawled into the double bed beside her brother. Bunching up her pillow, she buried her face in it, her thoughts
on Ted. She’d miss him. If only he’d court her, make her feel that he hadn’t bought her with the price of a train ticket. She was so confused. If only—

No, what mattered was Robby’s happiness. With God’s help, she’d teach him to trust God, to build a foundation that would help him cope. Yet at the back of her mind a niggling suspicion plagued her. Her motives for leaving might not be as selfless as she pretended.

She and Ted were getting close.

A ragged breath heaved out of her. She had to leave before she got even more entangled with this man and his children.

Heaving a sigh of relief that Lydia hadn’t questioned him about Elizabeth’s whereabouts, Ted thanked Jacob’s wife. Though he suspected that she and half the town probably already knew his wife slept at the ladies’ club. What kind of a picture did that paint of their marriage?

At the open study door, Jacob looked up, a broad smile on his face. “Just the man I want to see.”

“Guess that means you’ve heard my wife and her brother moved to the ladies’ club.”

“I heard, but I don’t think things are as dire as you look.” He grinned, motioning to the chair across from his desk.

Ted took the seat, trying to gather his thoughts to explain, not that he understood his wife. “I’m trying to give her time.…”

“Have you told her about your past?”

“No.”

“You know you have to.”

Ted studied his hands. “If I do, she’s gone for good.”

“You’re underestimating Elizabeth.”

“I don’t know why, but she hates gambling. I suspect gambling is behind the reason she married me.”

“Ted, I don’t believe in coincidence in the lives of believ
ers. You prayed for a wife and God brought you two together. You are a perfect complement for each other.”

He chuffed. “How do you figure that?”

“
If
she was hurt in some way by gambling, you’ve both taken action to start a new life. But, Ted, you’ve got to be honest with her.” He rose and put a hand on Ted’s shoulder. “I watch Elizabeth while I preach. She’s softening to the Lord. I can see it.”

“She’s grown in her understanding of God, of His love, but something’s holding her back. If I knew what to do—”

“Change yourself before you try to change Elizabeth.”

Ted wobbled back in the chair. Jacob’s words packed quite a wallop.

“She’s got to sense you’re hiding something. It’s time to live what you believe. Trust God. He demands obedience. If you obey, He’ll walk you through the consequences.”

Ted met his pastor’s gaze. “Now’s not the time. Elizabeth has enough to handle.”

“Don’t wait too long,” Jacob said, his words a warning.

Elizabeth opened the door of Agnes’s Café, then hustled Robby outside. Their meal had been interrupted several times by friends coming over to say hello. Ducking his head, Robby appeared shy, uncertain, but his sweet smile won everyone’s heart. Elizabeth hid her insecurity under flippant words and a spirited demeanor—far more like Anna than her brother.

Taking his hand, they walked to the nearby park not far from town, something they’d done every evening after dinner since they’d arrived four days ago. They sat on the swings and pumped toward the heavens, laughing as they sailed through the air.

Here Robby came alive, behaved like the boy she knew in Chicago, not the hesitant, downcast child he’d become at the farm. Why hadn’t he adjusted when he’d practically begged her to live on a farm? Why hadn’t the life met his expectations?

Later, sitting on a bench, the two of them leaned against the back. The sun, a bright orange ball, lowered in the sky. If she’d been on the farm, Elizabeth would’ve spent part of the day working under that glare. Hanging laundry. Picking lettuce or weeding the garden.

Ted, undoubtedly, tended the fields, the animals, all of them needing constant care, a wheel he could never stop turning.

She should be there.

Guilt panged in her chest. An impossible choice—her brother or her duties as Ted’s wife. But to see Robby now, smiling, laughing, she’d made the right one.

“I like this park.”

“Me, too.” She sighed. They couldn’t stay in New Harmony forever. She’d made a promise to Ted, to his children, to God, and she had to honor that promise. “Robby, we need to go back to the farm.”

“I like it here.” His face wrinkled up. “I don’t want…Why can’t we just stay here, Lizzie? Just you and me?”

“Ted needs me. I’m married to him, Robby. We’re a family.”

“I want our family to be just us.” He swung his legs, scuffing the grass beneath the bench.

“You have Anna, and Henry will be fun to play with when he’s older. And Ted will teach you lots, if you’ll let him.”

“Anna doesn’t like it.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Her eyes are sad when Ted’s nice to me.”

“Well, Anna’s been through a hard time. Losing her mother hurts. You and I know how much. She doesn’t like to share her father and her brother. But she’ll get over it. And if you give the farm a chance, it will—”

“No. I want to stay here.”

Elizabeth pivoted toward him. “Why? You’ve always loved being outdoors. The farm’s a perfect place for a boy like you.”

He bit his lip and shook his head. Mute.

“Tell me. What’s bothering you?”

Robby said nothing. Elizabeth waited, sensing he needed time. Space. He kept scuffing lines in the grass, watching the blades flatten beneath his shoes. “What if…what if Ted loses all the money and the farm’s all gone?”

In that instant, Elizabeth realized why Robby had refused to connect with Ted, Anna or Henry. Why he hadn’t fallen in love with the land, the livestock, the dog. He’d learned in his short life how quickly those things could disappear. In the flick of a card, the flip of a coin.

“Oh, Robby.” Elizabeth drew her brother near, until she could smell the soft-scented soap blended with the little-boy scent on his skin. “That won’t happen. Ted isn’t that kind of man. Everything will be there. Tomorrow and the next day, and the day after that.”

He lifted his face to hers, tears filling his blue eyes. “Even…even the dog?”