Authors: Monica McCarty
“Anything else?”
The question seemed innocuous, but she knew it wasn't. She tried not to think of the note that had been reduced to embers in her brazier. “I spoke with Marjory. She apologized. I think she is truly sorry for what she did.”
Again, no reaction except he continued to watchâscrutinizeâwith unsettling intensity. Her heart started to beat faster. Did he know something or was guilt making her imagine it?
Blast her father for putting her in this position! Duty and loyalty to her husband warred with that to her brother. She wanted to tell Eoin about Duncan, but she didn't want to put her brother at risk.
Could she trust Eoin to do nothing with the information that Duncan was in the area?
She knew the answer. If she told Eoin he would be in the same position as her: caught between divided loyalties. If he used the knowledge he would betray her, but if he didn't, and Duncan did something against Bruce, he would feel as if he'd let down the king.
Margaret wouldn't put him in that position of having to choose between two loyalties. She would tell him, but only once Duncan had gone.
“Nothing else?”
Whether it was his persistence or his tone, she didn't know, but every instinct flared. Still, she didn't heed the warning and shook her head.
His eyes never left her face. “We were set upon by Lorn's men last night.”
“Oh, Eoin!” She moved to her knees, wanting to throw her arms around him in relief that he'd not been injured or worse, but he pulled back stiffly.
“I think they were warned.”
Her eyes widened. “But how? I thought you said no one knew your plans.”
“No one did.”
It was then that she understood his cold greeting. She pulled back, looking at him in horror. “You don't think I said something?” But it was clear that was exactly what he thought. A wave of hurt crashed down on her, threatening to drag her under, but she forced herself to stay calm. “It wasn't me, Eoin. I know the dangerâI would never betray your confidence.”
His eyes scanned hers. “I want to believe that.”
She lifted her chin. “Then do. It's the truth.”
“And what about your brother's visit yesterday? The visit you failed to mention. What's the truth about that, Margaret?”
The blood slid from her face. He
had
known. Oh God, she should have told him. He must be thinking the worst. How could she make him understand? “I wanted to tell you, but I didn't want to put you in an awkward position.”
He made a sharp sound. “You must be jesting. You can't seriously claim to have lied to me for âmy own good'?”
Margaret bristled at his tone. “I didn't lie to you. I was going to tell you when my brother left the area. But he's my
brother
, Eoin. I don't want to see him hurt any more than I do you. I did what I thought best under the circumstances. What would you have done had I told you? Would you have betrayed my confidence and gone after him or would you have ignored your duty to Bruce and let him go?”
His mouth fell in a flat lineâclearly he didn't like her question or being put on the spot. “It isn't that simple. Nor is this about what I've done.” Taking her by the elbow, he drew her off the bed to stand before him. “What did you tell Duncan, Margaret?”
“Nothing.” She met his gaze square on. “I told him nothing.” Her eyes beseeched him to believe her, but his expression was set like stone and just as impenetrable.
“So it's just a coincidence that your brother shows up here one day and that very night the MacDougalls not only avoid the trap we have for them, but turn it against us? A trap, I might add, that no one knew about but you.”
She lifted her chin. “Someone else must have known about it, because I didn't tell him. My brother's purpose here was not to spy on you or gather information. He was here to offer Eachann and me a way to leave. He was under the impression we were not here of our own volition and might be in need of rescue.”
His eyes sharpened to hard blue points. “And what did you tell him?”
“I didn't have a chance to tell him anything. We barely exchanged two words. But I would have told him that we were quite happy here and in no need of rescue.” Now she wasn't so sure. “I certainly didn't share anything about where you were going or what you were planning. Why would I do that? It doesn't make sense.”
“I don't know. Why don't you tell me? I've been trying to figure it out myself. Did you let it slip out accidentally? Did he threaten you or Eachann?”
“I told you that I didn't say anything. Is that so hard to believe?”
He didn't respond, but just stared at her coldlyâharshly.
Margaret felt her own temper spike. She thought they'd gotten past this. But maybe they would never be able to get past it. The newfound trust she'd been so excited by had crumbled at the first test. “So is this how it's to be then? Am I to be the first one suspected whenever anything goes wrong no matter what I say? What about all those things you told me, Eoinâdo they mean nothing? I thought you trusted me.”
“I didâor I never would have told you my plans.”
“And now?”
His mouth drew down in anger. “Now I wish to hell I'd kept my mouth shut.”
She flinched, her cheeks stinging as if he'd slapped her. “So not only am I suspected, but found guilty and condemned as well?”
He dragged his fingers through his hair. “Damn it, Maggie, look at the facts. What am I supposed to think?”
“I guess it's too much to think that I might be telling the truth.”
His silence was answer enough.
“I won't do this, Eoin. Not again. I made a mistake six years ago, but I wasn't the only one to blame. You didn't share enough with me for me to make the right decision. Had I known what you were involved in and had any sense of the danger, I never would have admitted to Brigid that you were there. For our marriage to work, there can't be secrets between us. I won't be half a wife. I love you, but I'm not going to live my life under suspicion. I need you to trust me. Right here, right now. Even when all the âfacts' tell you otherwise.”
“Or what?” he said furiously. “Are you still issuing ultimatums? Is it blind faith or nothing? That's not the way it works, Margaret. You're my wife, not my priest.”
A knock on the door startled them both. Eoin answered it, took the missive from the man who'd brought itâone of his father's guardsmenâand read it quickly before turning back to her. She knew what he was going to say before he spoke. “I have to go,” he said grimly. “We'll have to finish this discussion later.”
Later
. It was always later with him. He never put her first.
I have to go
. Just be patient, Margaret
.
Stay here, Margaret. Don't ask questions, Margaret. Be a good girl, and I'll make it up to you in bed.
Well, she couldn't do that anymore. “Of course,” she said tonelessly. “No doubt it's important.”
He frowned, perhaps hearing something in her voice. “I won't be long.”
“And if I asked where you were going?”
His mouth fell in a hard line. The answer was obvious. He wouldn't tell her.
“Don't worry,” she said, not letting on that he was tearing her heart to shredsâagain. “I won't ask.”
She turned away, feeling an overwhelming sense of hopelessness. She loved him, but it wasn't enough. Hurt and disappointment stabbed; there was nothing more she could do. Maybe in another six years, he would realize she was telling the truth, but she wasn't going to wait around hoping that day would come.
Once again, passion had deluded her into believing things had changed. But it was no different than it had been before. He would share his bed with her, but nothing else.
She'd done everything she could to try to regain his trust, but it would never be good enough.
She
would never be good enough. She was a wicked MacDowell. The enemy and an outsider.
She was done trying to prove herself to anyone. To hell with him. To hell with all of them.
C
AMPBELL WAS WAITING
for him at Dunstaffnage. His friend had arrived home not long after dropping Eoin at Gylen to find one of the nearby villagers requesting to speak with him immediately. As soon as he'd heard what the old woman had to say, he'd sent for him.
The message had been short and to the point: one of MacDougall's men is in the village.
It seemed the old woman had a granddaughter who had been involved with one of the MacDougall warriors before he was forced into exile. He sometimes snuck back to see her when he was in the area. Last time he'd left her with a babe and a black eye, which had earned the enmity of the old woman, who was only too happy to take her revenge by reporting his presence to the king's keeper.
Eoin, Campbell, and a handful of Campbell's men had the small cottage surrounded by late morning when the MacDougall warrior finally emerged to take a piss. Caught with his pants downâliterallyâand without a weapon, he didn't put up much of a fight. Hours later, however, he had proved less than forthcoming in response to their questioning.
They'd left him in the pit prison to contemplate his options while they ate. But even though Eoin hadn't had a meal in almost twenty-four hours, he was too restless to force down more than a few bites. He couldn't escape the feeling of trepidation that had been dogging him since leaving Gylen.
At first he attributed it to his anger toward his wife, but the longer he was gone and the more he thought about it, the more the unease grew.
“We need Viper,” Eoin said, a short while later as they waited in the guard's room for the man to be brought back up. Lachlan MacRuairi was an expert at extractionâboth of people and of information.
Campbell eyed him carefully. “Anxious for confirmation? I thought you were convinced your wife let something slip to her brother.”
“It's the only thing that makes sense.”
“But?”
Eoin raked his fingers through his hair harshly. “I don't know. Something about it doesn't feel right.”
No matter how many times he replayed the conversation with Margaret in his head, he couldn't convince himself that she'd been anything other than hurt and stung by his accusations. He'd seen her guilt, aye, but only about hiding the truth of her brother's presence from him. Of the rest she'd been adamantâ
aggrieved
.
Had he been too ready to jump to conclusions? Too ready to find her guilty?
One corner of Campbell's mouth lifted. “I've always found that my instincts served me well.”
That was an understatement. Campbell had become the best scout in Scotland by relying on his instincts.
“What about when it comes to your wife?”
His friend smiled. “Aye, well, they tend to get a bit confused when it comes to her. I just have to listen a little harder.”
“Margaret didn't say anything to anyone,” Eoin said suddenly. “I'd stake my life on it.”
Campbell nodded, as the MacDougall warrior was led back into the room. “Then let's find out who did.”
It was easier than they expected. MacDougall wouldn't say anything against his clansmen, but he wasn't as closemouthed when it came to talking about the traitor who'd given information to Duncan MacDowell on Kerrera. The man had been a traitor to them before.
Faced with the enormity of his mistake, Eoin raced back to Kerrera. It was already dark as the shadow of the tower on the cliff came into view. That his instincts about his wife had been proved right was small consolation for the realization that they might have come too late.
“
I need you to trust me. Right here, right now
.”
A mix of dread and panic fell over him. His pulse was racing, and a cold sweat chilled his skin. He felt ill. What the hell had he done? He'd been so angered by the ultimatum that he hadn't thought about what else she'd done in the past. The “or what” that he'd put to herâthe fact that she'd left him, and he might have given her every reason to do so again.