The Stranger's Woes (54 page)

I saw the bluish headlights of an amobiler flashing at the far end of the bridge. Soon the amobiler drove up and stopped.

“Climb into the back seat, buddy,” I said to the driver. “I’m going to give you the ride of your life.”

He got into the back seat, and three minutes later I stopped the amobiler by the House by the Bridge.

On my way to Juffin’s office, in the Hall of Common Labor, I saw Melamori. She was attending to a sad-looking young man with a bandage on his head, urging him to drink some reviving kamra.

“Ah, Sir Ariama Junior,” I said. “How do you do?”

“Not so long ago he wasn’t doing very well,” said Melamori. “It’s good that you insisted we look for him immediately,Max. When I found him he was on the verge of death. But Juffin is a true wonder-worker, so Sir Ariama is all right now. Aren’t you, Sir Ariama?”

The young man nodded, and Melamori continued.

“That Arvaroxian hero—Mudlax, I mean—was waiting for him when he came home. He hit him over the head, then hid him in the bushes in the backyard. Either he got nervous, or just decided he didn’t need any extra witnesses.”

“In any case, you were very lucky, sir,” I said. “That blow on the head saved you from running into some other clients of your father’s who are much more dangerous. All’s well that ends well, right?”

“Poor Father,” said the young man. “I got along very well with him. Why did they kill him, I wonder?”

“His was a dangerous profession,” I said. “I doubt people would want to change their faces just because the shape of their chin didn’t match an ornament on their new looxi. Drink up your kamra and get well soon. Melamori, I’m off to see Juffin. I have some great news.” I shook my left fist proudly in front of her little nose.

“Is he in there?” said Melamori, excited. “Great! Good night, Max. Juffin gave me permission to leave, so I’ll be off soon. I’m taking Sir Ariama home, and then . . . Then I’m going to keep having fun.”

“Good night,” I said, nodding sympathetically. “Strange and wonderful things happen to people sometimes, don’t you think?”

There was a small, cordial gathering in Juffin’s office. Sir Kofa Yox sat comfortably in my favorite chair, and Melifaro was sitting at the table, dangerously close to a tray with food from the
Glutton
. I think he was sleeping with his eyes open. I didn’t remember ever seeing him so quiet before.

I poured myself some kamra and nestled on the window ledge.

“So what did you and Sotofa do at the Residence of the Seven-Leaf Clover?” said Juffin.

“Nothing that we’d be ashamed to tell the journalists,” I said. Then I briefed my colleagues on the details of my hunt for the unknown villain.

“So, you’re saying you found him in the bushes, without his turban and unconscious?” said Juffin. “That’s just brilliant! Talk about luck. Okay, let’s take a look at your trophy.”

“Here you go.”

The bald man appeared on the floor by Sir Kofa. He was still knocked out.

“The spitting image of Jorinmuk Vansifis! I don’t even think the Great Nuflin would know the difference,” said Juffin. “Kofa, would you be a good sport and let us take a peek at his real face? I’m curious.”

“What a job,” said Kofa. “To reverse the work of Varixa Ariama? A hole in the heavens above his grave—he was one of the best.”

“And you
are
the best—don’t be so modest. But cast some spell on him first, so he doesn’t wake up. We don’t want any trouble. We’re sitting here in good company. I was just about to send for dinner.”

“Perfect timing,” I said.

“Okay,” said Kofa. “Let me squeeze out the rest of my magic.”

“‘The rest of my magic,’” said Juffin. “You have enough magic for all of us here. You’ll still be here when we’ve all retired.”

“Maybe I will, maybe I won’t,” said Kofa. “Here goes nothing.”

He bent over the bald gentleman. Melifaro blinked, gave me a blank look, and moved to the now vacant armchair. It did seem that he had just woken up.

“Where’s Sir Shurf?” he said, bewildered.

“Where? He went home half an hour ago,” said Juffin. “And so should you. You can’t stay awake another minute.”

“I’m awake now. I can’t go anywhere now that you’ve sent for dinner.”

“Suit yourself. The more people I torture with overwork, the more precious my memories when I get old.”

“Look, a familiar face,” said Kofa Yox standing up. “Juffin, you should be able to recognize this guy.”

“Xekta Bonbon, the former Grand Magician of the Order of the Flat Mountain himself!” said Juffin. He looked almost tenderly at the sunken cheeks and furry eyebrows of the old man lying on the floor. “Well, I’ll be! I thought he was digging in his garden somewhere in Uryuland and had long since forgotten about the Capital . . . I’m sorry, boys, but you must excuse Sir Bonbon and me. I guess I won’t be staying for dinner. I can’t wait to find out what on earth he was doing in Jafax.“

“Are you going to tell me?” I asked hopefully.

“Of course I will. He’s your catch, after all. Rather, yours and Sotofa’s, which is even worse. The two of you can thrash the life out of me with all your questions.

“Right, gentlemen. Take care. Split my serving among yourselves. By the way, if I were you, I’d invite Lady Tuotli and Sir Blookey over. They’ve been working hard these days. Now they’re probably dozing off at the Police Department, thinking life couldn’t get any more boring than this. Don’t you think it’s a bit unfair?”

“I’ll call them,” said Melifaro. “Why didn’t I think of that myself?”

I turned to him but only caught a glimpse of his orange looxi disappearing behind the door.

Juffin gently picked up Grand Magician Xekta Bonbon from the floor. Then, holding him like a drunk but dear relative, he dragged him over to the door.

“Are you going downstairs?” said Sir Kofa.

“Of course. You don’t suppose Xekta will tell me his secrets in a friendly chat over a cup of kamra, do you? No, this interrogation calls for a great deal of magic.”

I knew what he was talking about. In the basement of the House by the Bridge, among the numerous restrooms, there was a small and very uncomfortable room, isolated from the rest of the World by the joint spells of Sir Juffin Hully and the Grand Magician Nuflin Moni Mak. In that room one could exercise magic of any degree without fear of knocking the World off balance. I had been in that “lab” only once, on an excursion rather than on business: the highest degrees of Apparent Magic, for which the room was built, were way out of my league. As for more commonplace miracles, our office was as good as any other place.

Meanwhile, a sleepy courier had put numerous trays from the
Glutton Bunba
on the table. Melifaro returned in the company of Lieutenant Apurra Blookey.

“Where’s Lady Tuotli?” I said.

“She gave us a concise lecture on the inappropriateness of parties during working hours, spiced up by a few expletives,” said Melifaro. “Forget about her, that uncrowned Queen of the City Police.”

“I don’t understand what’s gotten into her,” said Apurra Blookey. “Kekki is a great girl. She should have thanked you guys for inviting her.”

She’s being shy again, I thought. I’ll bet that’s what it is.

I jumped down from the window ledge.

“I’m going to talk to her. Melifaro, friend, do me a favor. If I do come back, please aim your insults only at me, okay? I’m almost a goner, so you don’t have to mollycoddle me. Lady Tuotli, on the other hand, has her whole life before her. Don’t traumatize her.”

“As if I’m some kind of baby eater!” said Melifaro, nonplussed. “I’m not that terrible.”

“Ah, but you are. Trust me. And don’t you dare go eating my food.”

“I’ll see to it that he doesn’t, my boy,” said Kofa. He was clearly on my side.

I went to the half of the building occupied by the City Police. I tiptoed to the office that had once belonged to the late Captain Shixola and listened. Someone was sniffling inside. I decided not to go in but to send her a call first. No one wants to be seen crying.

Lady Kekki
,
I’m sorry to impose
,
but parties during work hours are the most interesting events
,
believe me
.
It’s only for the sake of those parties that I’m still serving in this sinning outfit
.

I sensed that my invisible interlocutor had smiled.

Your Silent Speech is so funny
,
Sir Max
.

That’s right
,
I’m a regular joker
.
As for the Silent Speech
,
I’m still not very good at it
,
so do you think I can come in?

For a long time there was no answer. Then the door opened. Lady Kekki stood in the doorway looking at me with her beautiful gray eyes, defiant and helpless at the same time.

“Has that madcap Melifaro been getting on your nerves?” I said. “He’s a great guy, really. It’s just that we’re all—all the Secret Investigators, that is—a little crazy. His personal insanity can be a little wearying for some people, but you should try to ignore it.”

“It has nothing to do with Sir Melifaro,” said Kekki. “Granted, he’s not the most courteous gentlemen on this side of the Xuron, but compared to General Boboota, he’s not too bad.”

With a great deal of pleasure I imagined Melifaro’s reaction to Kekki’s generous description of his character.

“Okay, but then why did you—”

“Sir Max, you are a very kind and good person,” said Kekki. “You’re quick on the uptake but . . . I’m afraid you can’t help me. Please tell Sir Melifaro that I’m sorry for being rude, and tell Apurra not to be mad at me. But I think I’d better stay here in my office, okay?”

“Well, it’s up to you,” I said. “I, for one, don’t think it’s ‘better,’ but . . . Do as you please, Magicians be with you.”

I turned around to leave. Then, all of a sudden, my new, second heart decided to show off its outstanding skills. It knocked ever so slightly on my chest, and I felt the hurricane of someone else’s irrational emotions engulfing me. Another moment and I would have lost my head. I quickly remembered the breathing exercises promoted by Sir Lonli-Lokli. They did enhance my self-control, even though I hadn’t been doing them regularly.

“I’m very sorry, Lady Kekki,” I mumbled. “Honestly, I didn’t do it on purpose. I’m not trying to meddle in your personal affairs, but why are you so afraid of Sir Kofa? He’s an extremely nice man and—”