The Stranger's Woes (40 page)

I stopped by the
Glutton
to grab some pastries for the “mighty buriwok” and went back to the House by the Bridge. I was going to catch some sleep in the armchair.

To my surprise, the armchair was occupied. The Master Eavesdropper was sleeping in it. This was an unusual event: normally at this hour, Sir Kofa was on duty in one of the numerous pubs of Echo.

“Well, I’ll be,” I said. “What’s going on, Sir Kofa? The world has turned upside down: I’m running around town and you’re sleeping at Headquarters.”

“I dropped by to have a chat with our wise bird about the guys from Arvarox,” said Kofa, yawning. “The city is full of rumors about them. I got curious. I suspect that it will be up to us to find that ‘filthy Mudlax,’ so it’s best to be prepared.”

“Would you like some Elixir of Kaxar? I’ve never seen you this tired before. And I thought that everything had been quiet recently.”

“It has,” said Kofa with a nod. “Don’t pay any attention to it, boy. I’m worried about my own, let’s just say personal, problems. Let’s have a drop of your Elixir. It might be just the thing at this moment.”

“Maybe I can help you,” I said, fumbling in Juffin’s drawer for the bottle of my favorite energy drink. Until now it had never occurred to me that someone else besides me could have “personal problems.”

“You?” said Sir Kofa, giving a resonant laugh. “You definitely can’t help me, boy. Don’t bother your head about it.”

“My head is quite big and empty. I’d love to fill it with something,” I said. “Why did you mention finding that filthy what’s-his-name?”

“Mudlax,” said Sir Kofa. “Why? Because we’re going to help those courageous yet simpleminded, handsome boys find him.”

“But that’s going to be super easy. People of Arvarox are so different from the rest of the people of the World. Even I noticed it.”

“Of course. But have you ever stopped to think that if I can change my appearance, as well as the appearance of others, maybe other people in the World can do it, too? I think even that sinning Mudlax had enough brains to make sure no one will recognize him. He’s as aware of the customs of his homeland as anyone is—the vendetta and all that. Besides, there are quite a few fugitives from Arvarox living in Echo.”

“Really?” I said. “I’ve never seen them before.”

“You probably have. It’s just that none of them risks showing off his pretty face in public. There are plenty of people in Echo who can disguise their appearance. Trust me on that one.”

“Whoa!” I said. “Looks like I’ve been a fool all this time.”

“Ah, no big deal,” said Kofa, smiling. The Elixir of Kaxar was evidently doing its job very well.

“Is there a method for testing whether a person’s face is real or not?”

“Maybe, but no one knows of such a method. Fortunately, we don’t need one. From talking with Kurush I learned that buriwoks can detect a native of Arvarox, no matter how well he disguises himself.”

“That’s great news.”

I remembered about the pastries. I handed them to Kurush, who had almost fallen asleep. Better later than never.

“I thought you forgot,” Kurush grumbled. “People tend to forget their promises.”

“Hey, when did I ever forget my promises?”

“On the eighth day of the year one hundred sixteen. Granted, that was the only time.”

Sir Kofa was getting a kick out of our little exchange. “Okay, boys,” he said. “I think I’m going to take a night walk through Echo. You’ve revitalized me completely, Max. Make sure you stock up on your wonderful Elixir. There are some dark days ahead.”

“You’re all trying to scare me,” I said. “First, Juffin told me to have some fun, hinting that it may be the last time. Now you. Is it that bad?”

“Not particularly bad, just messy. When I hear the word ‘Arvarox,’ my head is attracted to my pillow like a magnet. Whenever those white-haired, goggle-eyed, handsome boys appear in Echo, life becomes a particularly tiresome endeavor.”

Kofa left, and I was so confused by his premonition that I fell asleep right there in my armchair. I didn’t even change into the Mantle of Death, which I was actually supposed to do.

Juffin Hully woke me up in the morning. His freshness and vigor were revolting. I extended my arm mechanically to the table where the Elixir of Kaxar sat, but Juffin chuckled and moved my arm away.

“You’d better go home and finish your sleep there. Come back at noon. There’s nothing for you to do here before then, anyway. The people of Arvarox get up late, you’ll be glad to know.”

“Really?” I said, still sleepy. “So very considerate of them.”

Back at my place, I encountered Melifaro, as sleepy and gloomy as I was. But my poor colleague was in an even worse situation: unlike me, he had to go to work. Neither of us felt any inclination to wish each other good morning.

“This is the darkest hour,” I said.

“What?” said Melifaro.

“The darkest hour,” I said. “The time just before dawn when the night—that is, me—is expiring, and the morning—that is, you—hasn’t yet arrived. Too gloomy for my tastes.” And I headed up to the bedroom.

“Looks like you
were
a poet once after all,” Melifaro called after me with a heavy sigh. “I’m so glad you quit that job. Such unwieldy metaphors at this early hour are more than I can handle. You, sir, are a nightmare, indeed.”

“Yup,” I said, slamming the door shut. I had three more precious hours, and I wasn’t going to waste a second.

I woke up around noon and muttered to myself, “Now, that’s better.”

In my book, a person should sleep long and soundly and wake up as late as possible. I began to sympathize with the people of the distant land of Arvarox—finally, I had found someone who shared my point of view.

I got to the House by the Bridge at the same time as Aloxto. I managed to enter the Hall of Common Labor a few moments before him, however, because I used the Secret Entrance. The poor fellow had used the regular visitors’ entrance. Our team had already assembled. Even Sir Lookfi Pence came down from the Main Archive. He was burning with curiosity.

“You’re late because of some silly dream, I’m sure,” said Sir Juffin. “I’ll bet you didn’t even have breakfast.”

“Right you are, sir. I didn’t. But the dream wasn’t all that silly. In fact, it was a pretty good one, though I can’t remember any of it.”

The door opened. Aloxto Allirox stood in the doorway. On his shoulder, once again, sat the furry parody of a spider. Aloxto stared at Kurush in wonder, cried “O mighty buriwok,” and fell to his knees.

Watching my colleagues was a special treat. Even Lonli-Lokli’s famous imperturbability underwent a rigorous test. Melifaro, who knew from me about the events at the Royal Palace the day before, also looked puzzled. But maybe yesterday he thought that I was making the whole story up.

“Get up from your knees, son,” said Kurush. “I hereby relieve you of the obligation to kneel every time you see me. You may simply greet me with polite words. That would suffice.”

“I thank you for this honor, O mighty buriwok. I will annex this privilege to my title presently,” said Aloxto, getting up.

Having come to his senses after this exchange with the buriwok, he studied us with a long look. When he saw Lady Melamori, his yellow eyes shone with a suspicious luster. I even thought he might drop onto his knees again. But no, Aloxto simply blinked, which I don’t think he had done until then.

After that the dweller of the mysterious land of Arvarox gave us a brief but densely packed autobiography. In other words, he introduced himself. The guys returned the favor—everyone except Melifaro and me, because we had already done so earlier. Sir Juffin Hully also refrained. According to the customs of Arvarox, a man in such a high position is not obliged to tell anyone anything about himself.

“I invite you to partake of this noon feast with us, Sir Aloxto,” said Juffin. “This is necessary, because we are about to pursue a common undertaking.”

“I appreciate the honor bestowed upon me,” said Aloxto Allirox, nodding his head slightly.

“It’s great that I skipped breakfast at home,” I said, laughing. “I economized. Life’s full of pleasant little surprises.”

“Ah, thank you for reminding me,” said Juffin. “I’ll deduct the cost of this feast from your salary. That will teach you not to show off.”

I think we managed to dispel the tension in the air again. Lady Melamori snickered, and Melifaro lowered himself into his favorite chair, making a lot of noise and smacking his lips in anticipation. A minute later, jugs of kamra and plates with sweets began to appear on the table. The delivery boys from the
Glutton
cast terrified glances at our guest, like horses in a fire. He paid no attention to them, because he was busy showering looks of admiration on Kurush and Melamori, in that order.

“You’re in great shape, Max,” Lonli-Lokli whispered in my ear as he sat down beside me. “You have become light in spirit. This has never happened before.”

“Oh, yes,” I said with a nod. “My life has become very easy and carefree since I became a king.”

“A king?” said Shurf. “Is this a joke? I am sorry, but I don’t find it funny.”

“You shouldn’t, because it is not a joke.” I turned to Juffin. “By the way, when are you going to release my loyal subject? My Majesty is beginning to get angry with you.”

“Your subject? Oh, a hole in the heavens above me! I completely forgot,” said Juffin. “He’s free to go, of course. Any time.”

“Okay, then, I won’t declare war on the Unified Kingdom,” I said magnanimously. “I have spoken.”

“If you keep up this attitude, I’m going to make you the King of the Nomads for real,” said Juffin.

“Got it. I’ll shut up then.” And I covered my mouth with my hands.

Sir Kofa Yox looked at me in disbelief. “Strange, but I’ve heard no rumors of that kind in the city.”

“My people can keep a secret,” I said proudly. “Especially the secret of their ruler.”

“Indeed,” said Juffin. “His compatriots are absolutely sure that he is their king. They complain that he doesn’t want to reign because we pay him more.”

Sir Shurf shook his head disapprovingly. “You’re always getting yourself into some kind of scrape like this,” he said, and turned back to his plate.

My colleagues burst out laughing all at the same time. Juffin laughed the hardest. He looked at me like a mad painter examining a work he had created under the influence of a heavy drug—unable to fathom how on earth he could have conceived it.

While we were having fun, Aloxto Allirox was busy chewing. I think that even if we had all taken off our clothes and danced on the table, he would have continued chewing as if nothing had happened. He was eating, and he was busy. The rest simply didn’t exist. Later I learned that people of Arvarox were, indeed, capable of giving themselves over completely to whatever they did.

When Aloxto finished eating, he gathered the crumbs from the table and fed them to his furry spider. The little creature ate the treat and then . . .
purred
in the sweetest way. I jumped up in my chair when I heard its tiny voice.

“So, you want to help me catch Mudlax,” Aloxto said to Juffin. “Your king said that I should be seeking your assistance, although I don’t know why. We are capable of finding that filthy man ourselves.”