Authors: Frederic Lindsay
She
felt
his
touch
between
her
legs
all
the
way
down
the
stairs,
and
still
when
she
saw
her
husband
leaving
Dr
Cadell's
room
and
crossing
reception
to
go
out
to
where
the
car
would
be
parked
to
take
him
home.
She
could
have
called
or
run
after
him;
but
Maitland
left
without
knowing
she
was
there.
Chapter 17
'I
don't
know
what
age
I
was
when
it
happened.’
'We
can
think
about
that
later.’
'It
was
in
the
winter,
I
know,
because
I
had
been
sitting in
the
window seat
and
it
was
dark
outside.
The
light
from
the
room
behind
me
shone
on
the
little
bit
of
grass
and
the
hedge
and
the
gate.
Though
it
was
quite
a
large
house,
three
floors
of
it,
there
was
only
this
little
patch
of
grass,
no
distance
at
all
and
then
the
hedge.
It
was
a
terrace
house,
you
see,
and
the
garden
was
at
the
back
with
three
apple trees
that
grew
at
an
angle,
their
branches
pinned
to
the
stone
wall.
It
must
have
been
winter
or
I
wouldn't
have
been
up
late
enough
to
see
it
dark
outside.
Not
that
I
didn't –
but
that
was
upstairs –
sitting
up
in
my
bed,
not
in
the
front
room
downstairs.
Look
out,
I
mean,
at
the
dark.
My
bedroom
was
on
the
third
floor,
and
when
they
thought
I
was
asleep,
I
could
sit
up
and
see
the
stars
or
clouds
going
across
the
moon.
“Be
a
good
girl
and
fetch
my
briefcase,”
he
said,
“I've
left
it
by
the
table
in
the
kitchen.”’
'Your
father
said
this?'
'Yes.
When
I
looked
round,
he
had
put
down
his
book
and
was
smiling
at
me.
He
was
in
his
big
chair
by
the
fire.
We
used
that
front
room
downstairs
then.
Neither
of
us
liked
the
sitting-room
upstairs.
“Go
on”,
he
said.’
'And
then?'
'You
could
go
to
the
kitchen
by
going
out
into
the
hall.
The
door
to
it
was
round
the
corner,
past
the
stairs.
But
it
was
easier
to
go
through
the
passage.
The
passage
ran with
a
door
at
each
end
from
the
downstairs
front
room
to
the
kitchen.
There
was
a
sink
in
it
and
shelves.
Of
course,
there
were
sinks
in
the
kitchen
as
well – and
in
the
washroom
that
you
went
two
steps
down
into
from
the
kitchen.
That's
where
the
back
door
was,
from
the
wash
room
out
into
the
garden
where
the
trees
were.
A
rowan
tree,
a
laburnum,
three
apple trees
against
the
wall.’
'You
went
into
the
passage
then?
On
your
way
to
the
kitchen.
As
your
father
had
asked.’
'Going
that
way
was
quicker
than
going
out
into
the hall.
He
knew
I'd
go
that
way.’
'And?'
No
waiting
this
time.
Was he curious? Or just impatient?
'The
lights
were
out.
And
I
went
in
and
there
was
a
horrible
face
with
a
light
shining
on
it.
He'd
put
it
there,
you
see.
I
ran
out
screaming.’
'A
face?'
'A
mask
.
With
the
lips
all
pulled
back.
The
eyes
red.
I
saw
one
just
like
it
in
a
museum
and
nearly
cried
out.
But
that
was
years
later
when
I
was
grown
up.’
'And
your
father
did
this?'
'Oh,
yes.’
'You
must
have
been
quite
young.’
'Six
or
seven.
I
couldn't
have
been
any
older,
because
it
was
just
after
Mummy
died.’
'And
your
father
put
this
mask
into
a
dark
passage
and
then
tricked
you
into
going
in
there?'
'But
you
don't
understand! He
did
it
to
help
me,'
she
said.
'The
thing
is
he
didn't
understand
at
all.
He
thought
my
father
did
it
to
hurt
me.’
And
then
she
said,
'I
wish
you
wouldn't.’
'Wouldn't
what?'
Anne
Macleod
asked.
'Just
wait,
not
saying
anything.
That's
what
he
does.’
'Well,
why
would
your
father
do
such
a
thing?'
Soon
it
would
be
lunchtime;
and
then
the
long
afternoon,
this
was
a
day
when
visitors
came
only
in
the
evening.
On
some
mornings
the
sun
shone;
today
the
sky
was
grey.
A
van
was
unloading
at
the
side
of
the
hospital.
They
turned
from
one
path
on
to
another.
'After
my
mother
died,
I
didn't
cry.
I
stopped
speaking.
They
couldn't
get
me
to
say
a
word.
No
matter
how
much
they
tried.
I
was
a
voluntary
mute,
that's
what
they
call
it.
It
happens
with
children
if
something
hurts
them
too
badly.
Sorry,
you'll
know
about
that.
Anyway,
when
I
saw
the
mask,
I
ran
out
screaming
and
Daddy
held
me
in
his
arms.
He
did
it
to
help
me.
I
started
talking
again.’