The Story of Lansing Lotte (46 page)

“Share me?” I questioned, pushing him off me to look at his eyes.

“I’ll always have to share you with Fleur. I don’t mind. But I want to have moments for just us, and right now I stole one.”

I didn’t know how to respond.

“We should probably talk about some birth control, though, before there is more than us,” he tried to sound light, changing the subject. But I knew the panic would be in him to have another child on the way, and that kind of situation would be something straight out of a soap opera. I wasn’t on the pill. What was the point when you weren’t having sex? It was an awkward time and position to have that conversation. I was saved when Fleur said my name a bit more adamantly.

“Time for Christmas,” Lansing said, pulling out of me rather quickly and looking around my room for something to wear.

“I might have left my pants out there.” He looked at me with mock horror and then burst out laughing. I wasn’t sure I saw the humor in that, or the fact that we’d just had a quickie resulting in a stressful one sided conversation. An old feeling was sinking into me and I literally shivered hoping to shake it off.

I slipped on yoga pants and traded out the nightie for a t-shirt in order to head for the living room and grab Lansing’s pants. I let Fleur finally escape her room and she ran for the tree, stopping short when she saw the doll and the stroller. She immediately jumped up and down with the baby in her hands, then placed it in the stroller and began pacing through the rather empty apartment.

“That’s it,” Lansing said with a laugh.

“That’s it,” I said, shrugging.

“Hmmm…I think I see something else for you from Santa.”

I looked at him, questioningly, as he tilted his head toward the tree. Standing before it, I wasn’t sure what I was looking for when Lansing came up behind me and pointed into the branches about half way up the evergreen. With a shaky hand I reached for the square present under a large bow.

“What’s this?” I asked quietly. From behind me, he replied to open it and find out.

I unwrapped it slowly. I could feel nervous tension coming off of Lansing as he waited behind me, his chest brushing against my back.

Inside was a bangle bracelet with two charms hanging off the center. One moon. One star.

I held the piece of silver jewelry up as Lansing explained something to me.

“I am the moon. Trapped in the dark. But you are a star, Lila, shining bright for me. Guiding me.” He kissed my shoulder and I turned to face him.

“I’ll forever be a Night, Lila,” he continued, “but I’m glad you’re in the heavens with me.”

“This is too much,” I breathed, still holding the bracelet in my fingers.

“It’s not enough, actually. When I saw it I thought of that old saying, ‘I’d give you the stars and the moon, if I could.’ Well, I would, Lila. So here they are.”

He took the bracelet out of my hands and slipped it over my fingers to my wrist. He kissed me slowly as I heard the wheels of a stroller squeak over the hardwood floor.

“Are you two kissing again?” Fleur sighed in exasperation, and I laughed against Lansing’s mouth.

“Why do I constantly feel like you’re mommy getting caught kissing Santa under the Christmas tree?” I said quietly.

“Because you are,” Fleur said, and Lansing and I burst out laughing.

On Boxing Day, I stood nervously inside the elevator as we slowly climbed to the 56th Floor and Tristan Lyons apartment. Lansing had explained that while the band always spent the holidays with their families, the day after Christmas was for the band. It was their Christmas together. Boxing Day was an English tradition of giving “boxes” filled with money to tradesmen for their services, but Tristan misunderstood the day as boxing with gloves and it became a new tradition amongst the band to spend the day together in a duel of the modern times – video games. Originally, it was a day of software delights and massive amounts of alcohol, but it became a full-scale party as the guys missed girls at these events, or so Lansing told me with a laugh when he invited me yesterday.

We were silent as the elevator rose until the soft ding signaled the 56
^th
Floor and Lansing gripped my hand. I wasn’t sure if he was trying to comfort me or hold onto me, but his clasp on my fingers was hard. When the doors opened we were overtaken by the sound and immediately my heart pounded under my skin. The room was loud, and crowded, and I sensed I shouldn’t have been there.

“Shit,” Lansing said under his breath, as he tried to guide me through the crowd to a bar set up in the corner. When we reached the center of the room, the push of people was too great and my hand slipped from Lansing’s. He tried to turn for me, but I walked into someone and bounced back off a solid chest.

“Josh?” I choked.

“Lila,” he said, a broad smile stretching across his face. Josh Tucker’s wild waves and glittering eyes proved he’d already had a rough night. He looked well-fucked and stoned, and I was a sweating ball of nerves before him. He surprised me by drawing me into a firm embrace then surprised me further by holding onto me. I hadn’t noticed that Lansing had returned for me and was waiting for Josh to release me. When he continued to hold on, Lansing finally broke in.

“What the fuck, man? Get off her.”

Josh pulled back slowly, keeping his arm wrapped around my lower back, despite my attempts to move forward.

“Lansing Lotte, man, haven’t seen you in while,” Josh slurred, as he tried to fist bump Lansing who didn’t respond.

“Heard about that girl. Sad business love is, uh?” Josh tried to tease, but the look in Lansing’s eyes showed he found no humor in Josh’s comments. I, on the other hand, had sucked in my breath and was willing Lansing to reach for me. Josh’s grip tightened and he pulled me into his side with a squeeze.

“I know all about love,” he laughed as he looked down at me. It was obvious by his behavior that he was clearly high. Josh knew nothing of love. How to give it or take it.

“Let her go,” Lansing said through gritted teeth.

Josh looked between Lansing and I, and laughed.

“Relax man. Lila and I go way back. She’s a good girl,” Josh said and surprised me again by kissing my hair like I was a child.

Thinking of that reminded me of Fleur and panic set in. I didn’t want Josh to even remember that he had a daughter. I didn’t want him anywhere near her. I didn’t want him anywhere near me.

Sensing my rising fear, Lansing did reach for me, tugging me toward him in a way that I stumbled over my own feet and fell against him. I turned in Lansing’s arms to face Josh, who narrowed his glossy eyes.

“I see how it is, man. Move on quickly. I get it. Find a distraction,” he snorted. If Lansing hadn’t shoved him; I might have slapped him.

“That’s enough,” Lansing barked. “Who the fuck let you in here, anyway?” he asked, as he maneuvered me behind him. Josh took a step back with the force of Lansing’s hand and bumped into some girl behind him.

“Hey,” she yelled until she saw who it was. Instantly, her smile changed into a flirtatious twist and I felt sick. That girl had no idea how callous Josh Tucker could eventually be.

“No harm, no foul, man,” Josh tried to joke again, as he slipped an arm around the brunette behind him. He was trying to take a step back when Lansing reached forward and grasped Josh’s shirt.

“I asked you a question. Who let you in?”

“Easy, man,” Josh teased again. He was larger than Lansing, but his condition made him like a floppy doll as he fell toward Lansing.

“Lansing,” I tried to stop him by laying a hand on his arm.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Tristan Lyons deep voice interrupted the stare down between the two men. He was trying to gently coax Lansing off of Josh, who still had a goofy grin on his face. Tristan had Lansing removed from the front of Josh’s shirt when Josh spoke again.

“Too bad, man, her sister was better,” he smirked at Lansing, regardless of my standing there.

Lansing lurched forward, as Tristan wrestled him. Caught in between the two, Tristan swore as he struggled until Perkins Vale appeared. Perkins was a large man, bigger than all of them, and his presence had a scary calm.

“Let’s go, pal,” he said with a firm hand on the back of Josh’s neck. Perk was escorting Josh toward the elevator.

Lansing stood before me breathing heavily as Tristan examined his face.

“What’s wrong with you?” Tristan breathed.

“Nothing,” Lansing responded tugging his shoulders out from under the grasp of his friend. I seemed to be forgotten, for the moment, despite the tension that was just caused over me, and Tristan walked Lansing toward the bar. I wasn’t sure if I should follow or not, but I did, staying a few paces behind until I was intercepted by another unwanted face.

“Mick?”

“Lila, good to see you again.” He leaned forward to kiss my cheek. Looking over his shoulder, he did a quick scan of the room before he whispered.

“So, who are you here for tonight?” He wiggled his eyebrows up and down at me, and it took a moment for me to catch his meaning.

“I’m…I’m not here for anyone,” I said, trying to find Lansing over Mick’s shoulders.

“Come on, Lila, this party is a gold mine of opportunity,” he hissed through a false smile, as he nodded his head in the opposite direction of me.

“I’m not here to take photos tonight,” I said quietly.

Mick’s head turned toward me.

“How did you get in?” He knew I had connections to some of the best parties in the business. He’d tried to use me to get invitations for exclusive undercover shots. It’s how I ended up on that bike months ago, in the first place. Mick wanted to score big money.

“I came with Lansing Lotte,” I said proudly, but my voice faded as I noticed Guinevere DeGrance saunter up to Lansing at the bar. He stood with his side to her as she spoke to him. I had already seen him do two shots, but then he did a third. She continued to talk to him, but Mick drew my attention again.

“Lansing Lotte? Way to get to the source. I have to thank you for leaving those images of him at the park on my camera. Made myself a pretty penny off that happy family image.”

I stared at him.

“What happy family image?”

“You know,” he laughed softly, “the one of Lansing Lotte and Guinevere DeGrance. Heard they’re the next new “it” couple, what with Arturo King gone, and her so beautiful and sad.”

“Broken heart recovered by best friend as new lover.” Mick’s hand dramatically splayed through the air like he was drawing out the next new headline.

“Seen several images of them around town.” He grunted half-heartedly before continuing.

“Seems kind-of cold hearted if you ask me. I mean, we were almost there, right? It was a gruesome situation, and he’s missing, but not dead. Caught that nice image of him watching the two of them exiting that coffee shop together. Ouch. The pain on his face.” Mick winced.

“How could you?” I hissed under my breath then cursed myself, knowing I had taken the same shot, but I hadn’t published that photo. I’d kept it. Arturo King was just too sad. Too hurt. I knew that feeling of betrayal without knowing him. I couldn’t do it to him. Something clicked in my mind.

“Did you say Lansing and Guinevere were seen around town together? Recently?” I questioned, concerned, but trying to disguise the neediness in my voice.

“Yep. Before Christmas some time. Saw him with that little girl again. Isn’t she your daughter or something?” He pinched his eyebrows at me. “Anyway, he was with her then.”

I couldn’t respond. I could only stare over Mick’s shoulder as I saw Guinie slip a hand up Lansing’s back and Lansing turn to embrace her. It could have been innocent enough, I tried to reason. It could have been a quick hug between two people who were part of the same friend circle. It could have been a brief holiday greeting. But they held on for too long, and my eyes suddenly met the green eyes of Tristan Lyons. He was watching me as I had watched them. His gorgeous model face expressionless.

My eyes flicked from Tristan to Lansing and Guinevere, who were still holding each other when I noticed something dangling from Guinie’s wrist. I took a step forward, like being attracted by a magnet. My eyes narrowed as I tried to get a better look.

Hanging off Guinie’s wrist was a bracelet like mine. It wasn’t exactly the same, but so similar, too similar.

My eyes met Tristan’s again. His expression softened as he shook his head slowly at me. We had never met, yet we just had a full conversation. It was abundantly clear that I was not part of the group. Would never be part of the inner circle. Would never have a place in the heart of one from the band.

I spun on my heels and left the party without even excusing myself from Mick’s unwanted company.

I exited the lobby into a puff of freezing air. It was a momentary relief after the stifling crowd above. As I waited for the taxi the doorman had called on my behalf, I noticed a man looking up at the building. He rolled back on his heels as he craned his neck to look upward. For a moment, I thought he was going to tip his head back enough to fall over. He was facing the dark heavens with his eyes closed when he spoke softly.