The Star Beast (15 page)

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Authors: Robert A Heinlein

BOOK: The Star Beast
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Well, he had
tried
…he really had! But it was sure that Dad had never expected Mum to try to get rid of Lummox. Mum ought to know better; she had married Dad knowing that Lummox was part of the package. Well, hadn’t she?

Betty would never switch sides like that.

Or would she?

Women were very strange creatures. Maybe he and Lum ought to bach it together and not take chances. He continued to brood until evening, spending his time with the star beast and petting him. Lummie’s tumors were another worry. One of them seemed very tender and about to burst; John Thomas wondered if it ought to be lanced? But no one knew any more about it than he did and he did not know.

On top of everything else, here Lummie was ill…it was just too much!

He did not go in to dinner. Presently his mother came out with a tray. “I thought you might like to picnic out here with Lummox,” she said blandly.

Johnnie looked at her sharply. “Why, thanks, Mum…uh, thanks.”

“How is Lummie?”

“Uh, he’s all right, I guess.”

“That’s good.”

He stared after her as she went in. Mum angry was bad enough, but Mum with that secret, catlike look, all sweetness and light, he was even more wary of. Nevertheless he polished off the excellent dinner, not having eaten since breakfast. She came out again a half hour later and said, “Finished, dear?”

“Uh, yes…thanks, it was good.”

“Thank you, dear. Will you bring the tray in? And come in yourself; there is a Mr. Perkins coming to see you at eight.”

“Mr. Perkins? Who’s he?” But the door was closing behind her.

He found his mother downstairs, resting and knitting socks. She smiled and said, “Well? How are we now?”

“All right. Say, Mum, who is this Perkins? Why does he want to see
me?

“He phoned this afternoon for an appointment. I told him to come at eight.”

“But didn’t he say what he wanted?”

“Well…perhaps he did, but mother thinks it is better for Mr. Perkins to explain his errand himself.”

“Is it about Lummox?”

“Don’t cross-examine Mum. You’ll know quickly enough.”

“But, look here, I…”

“We’ll say no more about it, do you mind? Take off your shoe, dear. I want to measure for the foot.”

Baffled, he started to remove his shoe. Suddenly he stopped. “Mum, I wish you wouldn’t knit socks for me.”

“What, dear? But mother enjoys doing it for you.”

“Yes, but… Look, I don’t
like
hand-knit socks. They make creases on the soles of my feet… I’ve showed you often enough!”

“Don’t be silly! How could soft wool do your feet any harm? And think what you would have to pay for real wool, real handwork, if you bought it. Most boys would be grateful.”

“But I don’t
like
it, I tell you!”

She sighed. “Sometimes, dear, I don’t know what to do with you, I really don’t.” She rolled up her knitting and put it aside. “Go wash your hands…yes, and your face, too…and comb your hair. Mr. Perkins will be here any moment.”

“Say, about this Mr. Perkins…”

“Hurry, dear. Don’t make things difficult for mother.”

Mr. Perkins turned out to be pleasant; John Thomas liked him despite his suspicions. After a few polite inanities, with coffee served for ritual hospitality, he came to the point.

He represented the Exotic Life Laboratory of the Museum of Natural History. As a result of the news picture of Lummox in connection with the story of the trial the beast had come to the attention of the Museum…which now wanted to buy him.

“To my surprise,” he added, “in searching the files I discovered that on another occasion the Museum attempted to buy this specimen…from your grandfather, I believe. The name was the same as yours and the date fitted. Are you any relation to…”

“My great great great grandfather…sure,” John Thomas interrupted. “And it was probably my grandfather they tried to buy Lummox from. But he was not for sale then—and he’s not for sale now!”

His mother looked up from knitting and said, “Be reasonable, dear. You are in no position to take that attitude.”

John Thomas looked stubborn. Mr. Perkins went on with a warm smile, “I sympathize with your feelings, Mr. Stuart. But our legal department looked into the matter before I came out here and I am familiar with your present problems. Believe me, I’m not here to make them worse; we have a solution that will protect your pet and clear up your troubles.”

“I’m not going to sell Lummox,” John Thomas persisted.

“Why not? If it turns out to be the only solution?”

“Well…because I can’t. Even if I wanted to. He wasn’t left to me to sell, he was left to me to keep and take care of. He was in this family before I was…before my mother was, for that matter.” He looked sternly at his mother. “Mum, I don’t know what’s gotten into you.”

She answered quietly, “That will be enough of that, dear. Mother does what is best for you.”

Mr. Perkins changed the subject smoothly as John Thomas began to cloud up. “In any case, now that I’ve come all this way, may I see the creature? I’m terribly interested.”

“Uh, I suppose so.” Johnnie got up slowly and led the stranger outside.

Mr. Perkins looked up at Lummox, took a deep breath and let it out. “Marvelous!” He walked around him, admiring. “Absolutely marvelous! Unique…and the biggest e.-t. specimen I’ve ever seen. How in the world was he shipped?”

“Why, he’s grown some,” John Thomas admitted.

“I understand he parrots human speech a bit. Can you coax him to do it?”

“Huh? He doesn’t ‘parrot’…he
talks
.”

“Really?”

“Of course. Hey, Lummie, how are you, boy?”

“I’m all right,” Lummox piped. “What does
he
want?”

“Oh, nothing, nothing. He just wanted to see you.”

Mr. Perkins stared. “He talks! Mr. Stuart, the laboratory
must
have this specimen.”

“That’s out, I told you.”

“I’m prepared to go much higher, now that I’ve seen him…and heard him.”

John Thomas started to say something rude, checked himself and said instead, “Look, Mr. Perkins, are you married?”

“Why, yes. Why?”

“Any kids?”

“One, a little girl. She’s just five.” His face softened.

“I’ll make you a deal. We’ll swap even. No questions asked and each of us does as he likes with his ‘specimen.’”

Perkins started to flare up, then suddenly grinned. “Touché! I’ll shut up. But,” he went on, “you were taking a chance. One or two of my colleagues would have taken you up. You can’t understand what a temptation a specimen like this is to a man of science. Really.” He looked longingly at Lummox and added, “Shall we go in?”

Mrs. Stuart looked up as they came in; Mr. Perkins shook his head briefly. They sat down and Mr. Perkins fitted his finger tips together. “Mr. Stuart, you have forbidden me to discuss a possible sale, but if I tell the director of the Lab that I didn’t even put the proposition, I will look foolish. Would you let me state what the museum has in mind…just for the record?”

“Well…” John Thomas frowned. “I guess there’s no harm in that.”

“Thanks. I must do something to justify my travel expenses. Let me analyze the situation. That creature…your friend Lummox…or let’s say ‘our friend Lummox’ for I liked him as soon as I saw him. Our friend Lummox is under sentence of death, isn’t he? A court order.”

“Yes,” John Thomas admitted. “But it hasn’t been confirmed by the Space Department yet.”

“I know. But the police have already made attempts to kill him, without waiting for final approval. Right?”

John started to use bad language, then glanced at his mother and refrained. “The stupid idiots! Anyhow, they can’t kill Lummox; they’re too dumb.”

“I agree with your sentiments…privately. That buffoon chief of police ought to have his commission taken away. Why, he might have destroyed an absolutely unique specimen. Imagine!”

Mrs. Stuart said crisply, “Chief Dreiser is a fine gentleman.”

Mr. Perkins turned to her and said, “Mrs. Stuart, I did not mean to cast slurs on a friend of yours. But I stick by my guns; the Chief had no right to take things into his own hands. Such behavior is worse on the part of a public official than it is when done by a lay citizen.”

“He had public safety to think about,” she insisted.

“True. Perhaps that is an extenuating circumstance. I take back my remarks. They are off the subject and I did not intend to start an argument.”

“I’m glad to hear you did not, Mr. Perkins. Shall we get back to the subject?”

John Thomas felt himself warming a little to the scientist—Mum had slapped Perkins down just the way she did him—and, besides, he liked Lummox. Mr. Perkins continued, “Any time now, tomorrow, or even today, the Department of Spatial Affairs will approve the destruction of Lummox and…”

“Maybe they’ll turn it down.”

“Can you risk Lummox’s life on that unjustified hope? The Chief of Police will show up again—and this time he’ll kill Lummox.”

“No, he won’t! He doesn’t know how. We’ll laugh at him!”

Mr. Perkins shook his head slowly. “That’s not your head talking, that’s your heart. The Chief will make sure this time. He’s been made to look silly; he won’t let it happen again. If he can’t figure out a sure way himself, he’ll get expert advice. Mr. Stuart, any biologist could run a rough analysis on Lummox and tell almost offhand two or three certain ways to kill him…kill him quickly and safely. I’ve already thought of one, just from seeing him.”

John Thomas looked at him in alarm. “You won’t tell Chief Dreiser?”

“Of course not! I’d be strung up by the thumbs first But there are thousands of others who can advise him. Or he may hit on a method himself. Be sure of this: if you wait until that death sentence is approved, it will be too late. They’ll kill Lummox. And that would be a great pity.”

John Thomas did not answer. Mr. Perkins added quietly, “You can’t oppose the forces of society singlehanded. If you are stubborn you yourself will make certain that Lummox will be killed.”

John Thomas pushed his fist hard against his mouth. Then he said almost inaudibly, “What can I
do?

“Much, if you let me help you. First, let me make this clear. If you entrust your pet to us, he will never be harmed in any way. You hear talk about vivisection and such…well, forget it. Our object is to put specimens into environments as much like their home planets as possible, then study them. We want them to be healthy and happy, and we go to a lot of trouble to accomplish those ends. Eventually Lummox will die a natural death…then we’ll mount the hide and skeleton, as a permanent exhibit.”

“How would you like to be stuffed and exhibited?” Johnnie asked bitterly.

“Eh?” Perkins looked surprised, then laughed. “It wouldn’t bother me at all; I’m leaving my carcass to the medical school of my alma mater. And it won’t bother Lummox. The point is to get him out of the clutches of the police…so that he can live to a ripe old age.”

“Wait a minute. If you buy him, that doesn’t get him off. They’ll still kill him. Won’t they?”

“Yes and no. Mostly no. Selling him to the Museum doesn’t cancel the order to destroy him, but, believe me, it will never be carried out. I’ve been coached by our legal department as to what to do. First, we agree on terms and you give me a bill of sale; that gives the Museum legal standing. At once, tonight, I get hold of your local judge and get a temporary order postponing the execution for a few days; it is definitely within his discretion to postpone it while this new factor of a change in ownership is considered. That’s all we need. We can get straight to the Secretary for Spatial Affairs if we need to…and I promise you that, once the Museum holds title, Lummox will never be destroyed.”

“You’re
sure?

“Sure enough to risk the Museum’s money. If I’m wrong, I might be out of a job.” Perkins grinned. “But I’m not wrong. Once I have the temporary order and have phoned the Museum to get busy on a permanent order my next step is to settle all the damage. I’ll carry cash, enough to do it…cash has a convincing effect. That done, we’ll have only the Chief of Safety against us…and, while he may seem an obstacle to you, he will never be able to stand up against the weight that the Museum can bring to bear, when needed. And everybody lives happily ever after!” Perkins smiled. “Anything wrong with it?”

John Thomas traced out a pattern on the rug with his toe, then looked up. “Look, Mr. Perkins, I know I have to do something to save Lummox. But up to now I haven’t seen any way…and I guess I haven’t had the courage to look the facts in the face.”

“Then you’ll do it?”

“Just a minute, please! This isn’t any good either. Lummie would be miserable with loneliness. He’d never get used to it. It would just be swapping death for life imprisonment. I’m not sure but what he’d rather be dead…than to be all alone, with a lot of strangers and them poking him and bothering him and making tests of him. But I can’t even ask him what he wants because I’m not sure Lummie understands about death. But he does understand about strangers.”

Mr. Perkins chewed his lip and reflected that it was very hard to do this young man a favor. “Mr. Stuart? If you were to go with Lummox, would it make a difference?”

“Huh? How?”

“I think I can promise you a job as an animal handler… In fact I have a vacancy in my own department; I could hire you tonight and we could sort the red tape later. After all, there is a real advantage in having an exotic animal cared for by someone who knows his ways.”

Before Johnnie could answer his mother said, “No!”

“Eh? What, Mrs. Stuart?”

“Out of the question. Mr. Perkins, I had hoped that you would provide a rational way out of this silly unpleasantness. But I cannot agree to that last suggestion. My son is to go to college. I will not have him waste his life sweeping out that beast’s cage…like a roustabout! No indeed!”

“Now look here, Mother…”

“John Thomas! If you please! The subject is closed.”

Mr. Perkins looked from the boy’s smoldering face to his mother’s set expression. “After all,” he said, “that is no business of the Museum. Let me put it this way, Mrs. Stuart. I’ll keep that job open for, oh, say six months…no, please, Mrs. Stuart! Whether or not your son takes it is your problem…and I am sure you don’t need my advice. I just want to assure your son that the Museum won’t keep him away from his pet. Is that fair?”

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