The Stag and Hen Weekend (30 page)

Helen knew it was madness to leave it this late and that even if she were to walk into a wedding dress shop first thing on Monday morning and choose the first dress, no matter how hideous, that she laid eyes on there was every chance that – this being July – they would be so overwhelmed with orders that even if she offered to pay them double they might not be able to get any alterations done by the Saturday morning. And what kind of bride doesn’t have a dress a week before her wedding day?

9.

It was approaching midday and the first beauty treatment of the day was complete. The girls stood in a circle in the changing rooms admiring the results of their joint manicure and pedicure.

‘What’s yours called again?’ asked Yaz, looking down at Helen’s feet.

‘Boutique Trash,’ said Helen.

‘So that’s pink then,’ said Yaz.

‘Looks like it,’ said Helen. She looked over at Lorna’s toes. ‘I like yours Lorna. What’s that one?’

‘Burnt Sunrise,’ said Lorna.

‘So that’s dark orange then,’ said Yaz.

‘I hate my feet,’ said Dee.

They all inspected Dee’s feet. ‘Don’t say that,’ said Helen. ‘You’ve got great feet.’

‘No,’ said Dee. ‘My ex used to say I’d got Hobbit feet and he had a point. Just call me Bilbo Baggins.’

‘I know you were married to him and everything,’ said Helen, ‘but your ex was more than a bit of an idiot. Your feet are beautiful and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.’

‘I wish I had feet like Caitlin’s,’ said Dee, ‘Just look at them. They’re perfect.’

Everyone looked at Caitlin’s feet. Much as Helen loathed her, even she had to agree that in the world of feet Caitlin’s were right up there with those of Natalie Portman, Jennifer Anniston and Halle Berry.

‘She’s right,’ chipped in Ros, ‘They are gorgeous. That colour really suits you too.’

‘Thank you girls,’ said Caitlin beaming, ‘it’s weird but whenever I’m out in my strappy sandals I get loads of compliments about them.’

Helen smiled inwardly at the thought of people queuing in nightclubs just to get a glimpse of her sister-in-law-to-be’s feet.

‘I think we’ve all got great feet,’ said Helen diplomatically, in a bid to move the conversation on. ‘And we should definitely give them an airing when we go out tonight. Who’s up for it?’ Helen counted up the hands. The vote was unanimous.

‘Toes out for the lads it is!’ laughed Carla who had been single so long that she feared it might become permanent. ‘I’ve got a good feeling that Gunmetal Rose is going to be my lucky colour!’

Fully dressed, the girls made their way out of the spa with the conversation focused evenly between what they fancied for lunch and how long they would need to get ready to go out to dinner that evening. Helen herself was happy that for a few moments at least she wasn’t thinking about wedding dresses and was content to listen to the others but as they headed to the restaurant her heart stopped. Aiden and two of his friends were coming towards them.

From her position at the back of the group Helen could see from the body language of her friends that they were unsure how to react. Most of them simply chose to ignore Aiden and his friends while others, never having had to blank a complete stranger with whom they had spent half the night drinking, offered an embarrassed half wave that Helen hoped had gone unseen by Caitlin.

But Aiden had seen Helen and fully intended to try and talk to her.

‘What are you going to do?’ asked Yaz, quickly. ‘Do you want me to go over and tell him you can’t speak?’

Helen shook her head. ‘No, you carry on to the restaurant. Tell the girls I’ll be along in a minute but don’t wait and whatever you do don’t let Caitlin out of your sight.’

Helen’s breathing deepened involuntarily as she began to walk towards Aiden who was stood standing in the middle of the grass. She wondered whether he was going to make her walk all the way over to him but then he began to walk towards her.

‘Morning,’ said Aiden as they met halfway.

‘Morning.’

‘Just been to the spa?’

Helen nodded. ‘We all had our nails done.’ She dangled her newly manicured hands in the air as if he needed proof.

‘Nice,’ he replied studying them. ‘You won’t believe this but I had manicures for a while. Back in the early days I was doing a cable show, my agent clocked how filthy my nails were and so she set up regular appointments for the eight weeks I was doing the show and then billed the cable company.’

‘And did you enjoy them?’

Aiden shrugged. ‘Not enough to carry on. It’s too much of a detail thing. Us blokes are too big-picture orientated to think whizzing into town to have some bird do our nails and make small talk is worth the effort.’

Helen laughed. ‘It’s hard to know what to do first: marvel at the ease with which you can insult half the population with your simplistic worldview or ask a follow up question about what this so-called “big-picture” is that you’d rather be doing than appear on TV looking like you spend your spare time rooting through rubbish bins.’

‘What can I say?’ asked Aiden. ‘I’m a guy. We don’t sweat the small stuff.’ He shifted his weight uneasily. Helen could feel a question coming.

‘Did your friends enjoy last night?’

‘Yes, thanks. Obviously some of them were a little worse for wear this morning, but they were pretty unanimous about having had a good time. Thanks for that, it was really good of you.’

‘It was nothing. They’re a great bunch of girls and the lads really enjoyed being around them but I can’t say that you weren’t missed.’

Helen blushed. ‘Thank you. And I apologise. It’s just that it had been an incredibly long day and I was shattered. I guarantee you, I’d have been no fun at all.’

Aiden nodded as though he understood but Helen didn’t think for a moment that he believed a single word she had said.

‘I know this is awkward for you,’ he began, ‘and well . . . it’s awkward for me too. But isn’t it weird that of all the places we could be this weekend we’re both here? Maybe this is a good opportunity for us to clear the air.’

‘You’re not trying to tell me that you, world renowned sceptic Aiden Reid, believe in something as airy-fairy as fate? Next thing you’ll be telling me that you Cosmic Ordered this whole thing up.’

Aiden laughed. ‘Look, all I’m saying is that we’re here and the chances of that were pretty slim. So why not make the most of it?’

‘And do what?’

‘Give me half an hour of your time.’

Helen sighed. Had she walked a bit faster she could have avoided this whole sorry saga. ‘Fine,’ she said. ‘But make it ten minutes.’

Aiden began walking purposefully though it soon became apparent that he wasn’t sure where he was going.

‘What exactly are you looking for?’ asked Helen as they reached the far edge of the hotel.

‘I’ll know it when I see it.’

‘Some things never change.’

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

‘I’m just thinking about the summer you were supposed to be best man for your friend Mike’s wedding in Darlington. Only we didn’t get there until—’

‘—the whole thing was over!’

‘And all because you absolutely refused to ask for directions to the church.’

Aiden chuckled. ‘Mike was so annoyed about having to get his granddad to do the honours that he didn’t speak to me for months. I can’t believe you’re still going on about that.’

‘What can I say?’ replied Helen. ‘Some things are too amusing to forget.’

They continued down a tree-lined path that eventually reached a slow running stream. There were a number of smart-looking modern loungers and wooden benches scattered around under the trees but it was quiet and empty.

‘I read about this spot in the brochure,’ said Helen. ‘I’d planned to come down here at some point and read my book.’

‘See,’ said Aiden. ‘And there was you thinking I didn’t know where I was going. That’s the genius of me: appearing haphazard but actually in total control.’

Helen didn’t comment, knowing full well that any attempt at a retort would only stoke his ego further. It was lovely though. Peaceful. Serene. It made her feel disconnected from the rest of the world. Like she was stepping out of place and time.

‘So how’s Karl getting on? Are you making sure he’s having a good weekend?’

‘It’s hard to tell. We could have bought him a Ferrari and had a naked Scarlett Johansson pop out of a cake to hand him the keys and I swear if it happened the week before the new RAJARs were due out he still wouldn’t raise a smile. He’s one of life’s worriers.’

‘Not like you. You’ve
never
worried about audience figures.’

‘That was the old me,’ said Aiden picking up on Helen’s sarcasm. ‘The new me is a nervous wreck. Anyway, how are the ratings for your show?’

‘Pretty solid.’

‘Now that you can listen to local radio on the internet I do catch your show from time to time. It’s good stuff.’

‘Thanks, but it’s hardly the groundbreaking arena of rock ’n’ roll breakfast is it?’

‘Which is why it’s harder. I couldn’t do afternoons to save my life. In the morning everything’s fresh. I’m breaking news stories and waking up the audience to a brand new day. By the time your show starts the new has become the old and the audience are already thinking about what they’ve got to do tomorrow, there’s literally nothing to work with. That’s why you’re doing such a great job making a solid show against the odds. I swear if they put you on breakfast you’d slay me.’

Helen sat down on the nearest bench and looked at the stream where a group of ducks were congregating amongst the reeds. Aiden sat down next to her.

‘I’m getting married next weekend,’ said Helen.

Aiden was silent. A sparrow landed on the branch of a silver birch and after a moment checking its surroundings flew to the headrest of one of the sun loungers and surveyed them keenly.

‘I thought you said—’

‘I lied,’ she said quickly.

‘Because?’

‘Because you don’t have any right to know about me.’

Aiden nodded. The sparrow flew to the ground a few yards away from their feet, pecked at a clump of moss and then with what looked like some kind of beetle in its beak flew back to the silver birch.

‘Is he a good man? I know that’s kind of a stupid question given that you’re marrying him, but you know what I mean. Is he everything you’re looking for?’

Helen shook her head. ‘I’m not going to do this.’

‘Do what?’

‘Take part in whatever’s going on in your head.’

‘Then why are you here?’

Helen stood up and began walking back up the path towards the hotel.

‘Listen,’ called Aiden. ‘Stop. I’m sorry, okay? I was bang out of order.’ Helen continued to the top of the hill from where she could see the hotel. She heard Aiden running up the path behind her. ‘Look, stop,’ he said as he finally caught up with her. ‘Don’t let’s leave things like this. I’m sorry, okay? It was a stupid thing to say. Your news just took me by surprise that’s all.’

‘And why should that be?’ asked Helen. ‘It was no big surprise to me when you got married.’

‘And look how that ended.’

‘Do you want me to feel sorry for you?’

‘No,’ said Aiden, ‘but I do want you to know that you’re the reason it didn’t work.’

Before Helen could muster a response she spotted Caitlin walking towards her. The same disconcerting sensation that had come over her on seeing Aiden the night before was back, this time with twice the force. Her dismay showed on her face.

‘What’s wrong?’

‘That’s my fiancé’s sister coming this way. She doesn’t like me and she’s never needed an excuse to do a bit of stirring.’

‘Does she know that we used to be together?’

Helen shook her head. ‘My fiancé knows but it’s not exactly the kind of thing you advertise to your future in-laws.’

‘Then what are you worried about?’

‘I don’t know,’ snapped Helen. ‘She’ll find a way to twist things and make this into something it’s not. That’s what she does. It’s like her superpower’

‘Leave it to me,’ said Aiden. ‘Just keep making out like we’re having a casual chat and I’ll do the rest.’

While not exactly enamoured of the idea of leaving anything in Aiden’s hands, Helen didn’t exactly have a choice other than to beg Caitlin for mercy and so she allowed Aiden to ramble on about how nice the weather was while every now and again making inane weather-based observations of her own until Caitlin was within earshot.

‘ . . . well I’d really like you to give it some consideration,’ said Aiden loudly, ‘but obviously I need someone quickly so the sooner you can make a decision the better.’ He stopped and looked directly at Caitlin, which Helen assumed was her cue to turn around.

‘Caitlin,’ said Helen brightly. ‘What are you doing here? Aren’t you meant to be having lunch?’

‘I was about to say the same to you. One minute you were there, the next you’d disappeared and no one seemed to know where you were, so I thought I’d come out and make sure you were okay.’