The Staff of Naught (2 page)

The big man looked at the little man and gave another shake of his head, “Get in there and look or I do it and that make mad.”

“Okay, okay, I’ll do it but if I get killed it’ll be your fault,” said Humbort, stuck his head back around the corner, and peered into the darkness. “It’s dark, I can’t see.”

Shamki moved up quickly behind the smaller man although without making any noise, put both hands on his back, and shoved him into the small shack. Humbort sprawled forward, lost his balance, and landed with a heavy thud which was followed by a clatter and then three crashes each separated only by a brief moment. “Owwww,” said the voice from inside the shack and Shamki shook his head, once again, and sighed, “Humbort.”

Meanwhile, at the center of the little hamlet of Iv’s Folly, in a large building with an immaculately planted rose garden out front, a small, balding man wrung his hands together as he sat on a long, brightly burnished wooden bench. A heavy oak door sat at the end of the hallway to the man’s right and he looked up to the door again and again. After a few seconds he stood up, walked to the door paused in front of it for a moment, turned to face back down the hallway, and walked to his original location, and finally sat down with a thump. He looked at his feet and then back to the door and then back at his feet again before giving out a large sigh and once again wrung his hands together.

A creak from the door brought the thin man to his feet with a lurch and he took two quick strides towards it before he stopped and straightened a finely tailored cotton shirt and pulled down the bottom edges of a wool jacket. At that moment a roundish man with a massive head flanked by wide red tinged ears emerged from behind the door and glanced in the direction of the small man, “I hope I haven’t kept you waiting long Myris.”

“No, no sir. Not long at all, it’s just that these sightings are increasing and the people are …” spat out the smaller one in one quick sentence not stopping to breath.

“Hold on there, Myris,” said the heavy man and turned away from him back towards the room. “Come on into my office and tell me slowly.” With that he disappeared behind the door and Myris darted after him with quick motions of his little legs. The office appeared to be quite small as a massive redwood desk, a huge leather backed chair behind the desk, and a much smaller wooden chair with no arms in front of it took up a great deal of the total space. Off to the side on the wall stood the mounted head of a massive green scaled dragon next to several smaller heads of more mundane creatures like deer and bears. A shelf filled with parchment scrolls and old books dominated the wall opposite the trophies and a counter near the back of the room contained half a dozen glass bottles filled with liquids of various colors. The thick man stood by this last table a glass in one hand and a bottle in the other, “What will it be Myris?”

“Mayor Shumba, please! There is an emergency; I have to tell you immediately.”

“You’ve always been a bit high strung Myris, if you don’t object I’ll have one,” said the town mayor, who poured a generous amount of a greenish blue liquid into a tumbler, and brought it to his nose for a luxurious sniff. “The finest Halfling Tree Sap in the Five Counties,” he said before taking a long swallow from the glass, “Ahhhh.” Shumba then walked slowly behind the big desk and sat down in the chair that was so large it almost swallowed his considerable bulk. “I suppose this is about the skeletons rising and that fool Tanner spouting off in the town square yesterday afternoon.”

“Mayor, oh mayor,” said Myris and once again wrung his hands together the fingers intertwined in an apparently intricate dance, “it’s all true. The dead are rising; we have reports from six separate witnesses in different parts of town.”

The mayor yawned widely and put down his glass with a halfhearted sigh, “Have you confirmed any of the sightings yourself Myris?”

“There hasn’t been time your honor,” replied the little man almost hopping up and down as he spoke. “It’s an emergency, your leadership is required!”

“What would you have me do about these reports?”

“Send in a team of warriors, alert the baron, call up the militia, act decisively to swat out this threat!”

“And if it all turns out to be kids playing tricks with strings and bones?”

“Your honor, six separate witnesses in town to confirm what Tanner already said. You know the merchant isn’t prone to exaggerating, he said there were thousands of the things on the march.”

“Marching into the ocean where they were destroyed by waves is how his rant was reported to me by Lousa,” replied the mayor with a wave of hand showing off three golden rings two of them with massive gemstones embedded inside.

“Why do you listen to that woman,” said Myris almost spitting out the words his face screwed up as if he just took a bite from a lemon. “She traipses around in those little dresses and you just do whatever she says.”

“And your point is?” said the mayor who raised his eyebrows a wide grin across his face.

Myris sighed loudly, “Well, never mind. There are reports in town as well, skeletons in the graveyard, skeletal skulls walking across the floor, skeletal hands flying through buildings, they can’t all be coincidence, something is going on!”

“And it will be investigated Myris,” said the mayor who put down his drink with a thump. “But, we can’t be seen as panicking.”

“I … I … don’t … well.”

“I’ve already begun the investigation, Shamki and Humbort are doing a little work for me and what I want you to do is find that urchin, the clever one who sent the entire town guard into the river chasing after the ruby fish last year, he has a little sister as I recall. Find him and get him here.”

“That little kid cost us a lot of money, what do you want with him?”

“I’m not going to explain myself to you Myris. It’s enough to know I want him here. Are you going to do it or not?”

The little man stomped his foot onto the cold stone floor, looked out the window behind the mayor, and then up to the ceiling his nostrils flared and his hands twitched at his side. “I’ll do it but I don’t understand why you trust the stupid half-orc and his moron cousin.”

“Oh, and send in the witch woman who lives over across the river, she’s clever.”

“I meant to tell you mayor, it’s Hazlebub who reported the walking skull, she’ll confirm my story, I’ll get her right away your honor!” With that the thin man bolted out the room and his footsteps echoed down the hallway.

“The door!” shouted the mayor towards the receding figure who quickly reappeared and shut the door behind him. At that moment a small wooden panel beneath the dragon head swiveled and revealed a swathe of green hair on top of a lithe girl whose waist had an elf sort of look but whose overfull bosom revealed some other blood in her veins. “By the gods he’s an idiot,” she said, came forward, and leaned over the desk in front of the mayor. “Why do you put up with him?”

“Idiots are useful,” said the mayor with a wave of his hand. “Sometimes very useful.”

“We need to be careful about that witch Hazlebub, she’s up to no good spreading rumors about walking skulls, and I know about Unerus the Urchin as well. That boy and his little sister are not to be trifled with.”

“I’m not a fool Lousa,” said the mayor with a grin. “I’m well aware of what Hazlebub is up to and that boy as well. But, Tanner is not an idiot and if he says the dead are swarming up at shipwreck point then the dead are swarming. Shamki is due in with his report from the cemetery this afternoon but something strange is going on and I’ll be damned if I let Baron Avakubia or that lap dog colonel of his horn in on my action.”

“I know you’re not a fool Mayor at least not when it comes to money,” she said and moved close to the mayor and breathed in his ear, “but perhaps more foolhardy in other matters?”

Myris was once again in the hallway this time muttering to himself as he paced back and forth casting occasional glances at the closed door. “Damn fool mayor, let that woman influence him, damn witchy woman and damn that kid,” the last with emphasis as he looked at the patch of cloth wrapped around his right hand and he remembered the incident which caused the wound. He kicked at a stray cat that wandered in from the courtyard but missed badly and the black and white thing glared at him with yellow eyes and then yawned luxuriously and began to lick itself. “I’ll be mayor one day.”

“What was that Myris,” came the lilting voice of the young woman as she suddenly appeared at the opposite end of the hallway her ears seemed to actually swivel as she sashayed towards him.

“Hello Lousa,” said Myris folding his arms across his chest but he could not keep still his eyes as they strayed to her bosom, revealed almost completely in a green and gold frilly gown that ran in two long strips from her shoulder to her waist where it was bound by a large yellow sash that seemed to shimmer with a sparkling light.

“Hello Myris, my dear,” said the woman as she came so close to him that her perfume wafted to his nostrils. She flipped her long green hair with a shake of her head and a few strands brushed the chamberlain who shuddered noticeably and sweat appeared on his brow. “Have you been talking to yourself about Mayor Shumba again?”

“I am simply an advisor who does as he is told,” replied Myris with a sharp sort of edge in his voice as he refolded his arms across his chest and lifted his chin although could not help but take in another whiff of her intoxicating perfume.

“Of course, of course,” said Lousa with a smile and flipped her hair once again. “Have you managed to gather them all for the meeting?”

Myris snorted, a sound rather pig like despite a narrow nose that bore no resemblance to that species. “They’re in the hall that damn girl bit me when I tried to take her brother. I had to have Shamki hold her down while useless Humbort just stood there stammering like a fool.”

“Have you alerted the mayor to their presence?”

“I sent in the boy to tell him about ten minutes ago but I’ve just been waiting out here since.”

“I see, well then you’ve done your job haven’t you?”

“And done it well,” said Myris standing up straight which brought him to within a couple of inches of the height of the woman before him. He looked up at her and smirked, “Have you accomplished anything useful this morning?”

Lousa smiled playfully and walked so close to Myris that her hair brushed over his shoulder as she headed to the door at the end of the hall and vanished. A few moments later she came out with the mayor and a young boy no more than eleven or twelve and not yet into puberty. They walked quickly passed the chamberlain and only Lousa gave him a small smirk before they headed out of the room. Myris watched them go for a moment before he shook his head with a start and rushed after.

By the time he caught up they were in a large chamber where the witch woman sat at the head of the table a large mug of something frothy already half-finished, the little urchin boy perched on a sideboard his legs dangled over the edge while his sister sat on his shoulders and played with a silver spoon, more of the silver objects poked out from her pockets. Elsewhere the heavyset merchant sipped from a mug much like the witch’s and next to him the massive half-orc whittled at the table with a sharp carving knife. In another seat, almost invisible and slouched low, sat the last member of the quorum the foppish companion of Shamki, Humbort. In front of the group stood the mayor with Lousa at his side her arm around the waist of the fat man and a wide grin on her face.

“I’ve no doubt you’ve already heard my story Mayor Shumba,” said Tanner to the big man as his eyes flicked towards the woman at his side. “And more than once I’d guess.”

“I’m glad you could join us Tanner. I know we’ve had our differences before about import tariffs and taxes but this is a serious situation and I hope you can mollify your belligerent attitude for the greater good. I’m not sure if you’ve met everyone here, so you won’t mind if I make a few introductions?”

The merchant spread his hands and took a long sip from his mug, “It’s your party.”

“Many of you know me as Mayor Shumba,” said the fat man with a smile and a little bow, “but for today please just call me Jorum. I think everyone knows my deputy mayor, Lousa Felendar of the fairy folk. She will be in charge of today’s little gathering. My son is here to learn but won’t say anything,” with this he gave the boy a glance.

Myris shuffled his feet and made a small sound.

The mayor didn’t even glance in his direction. “I think all of you heard the rumors that are flying around town today thanks to Tanner Wilmer. Tanner, I know you’re a free man and entitled to do as you please but do you think it might have been wise to bring this issue directly to me rather than causing a panic among the people?”

The merchant shrugged his shoulders but looked down at the table rather than directly at the mayor for the first time.

“Speaking of panic among the people,” went on the mayor with a look at the witch and the two children. “We have with us today the illustrious alchemist,” he started before the old woman interrupted him.

“I’m a witch and I’ll be addressed as such,” she said with a cackle that ended with a rattling cough.

“Of course Hazlebub, of course. I’m sorry to give your profession anything other than the moniker it deserves. Hazlebub joins us to give her expert opinion on all things caught between the living and the dead.”

“Every moment you keep me in this farce of a meeting is money out of my pocket mayor,” said the old lady and pulled out a jar filled with a thick, dark green substance whose odor immediately began to fill the room and caused the other members of the meeting to move away from her. “At that means a loss of tax revenue to you mayor, as you well know.”

“I understand the financial burden I’m placing you under Hazlebub but I can only hope you’ve managed to instruct your sister on the proper preparation techniques for whatever charm you hope to sell people to ward off this undead invasion. In any case, if I might continue?”

The old witch bowed her head and poured some of the green liquid into the mug of frothy beer while Humbort made a sort of gagging sound in the corner.