The Sportin' Life (27 page)

“
I live here,
”
she said, and it seemed that there wasn
’
t an ounce of warmth in her reply. What was wrong?
“
What are
you
doing here?
”
she asked me.

I decided to meet her all the way. In the same sophisticated tone, I replied,
“
I live here.
”
But my blood was boiling and I wanted to return to the time when we were so close, when she would lift her lips for my kiss like it was the greatest gift I could offer her, when she would walk into my arms to be held all warm and safe. I wanted to remind her of all that we had shared, to rekindle instantly the wealth of love that had gone between us.
“
How
’
s your daughter?
”

“
Bigger than me,
”
Liana replied, still cool and poised.

“
She must be about twelve by now.
”
I smiled, recalling the little tyke who was such a cute kid, and my own pleasure at being included in their family things.

Liana looked only slightly startled by my powers of recollection.
“
That
’
s right.
”

“
So, how long have you been here?
”
I asked, floundering for something, anything, to make her remember me.

“
About a year.
”
She answered my questions but volunteered nothing on her own. And I was getting lost in her eyes, and feeling lost at heart to think that this woman who had loved me so much now seemed hardly to remember me. I thought she would love me forever, and I know that her memory has haunted me off and on through the years. Now it seemed as though I was nothing more than a casual affair long ago in her past.

“
I can
’
t believe I
’
m seeing you now, Liana, this is amazing, but I guess everybody in
L.A.
goes to these things eventually.
”

“
I thought you looked familiar….
”

“
But not to recognize me!
”
There was no concealing the astonishment I felt.

“
It
’
s been a long time,
”
she said as coolly as any woman has said anything to me, ever.

“
Remember that champagne bubble bath?
”
I asked her almost shyly, as if that might trigger something in her memory, something that would warm the light in her eyes and the ice in her voice, something that would bring back the intimacy and the love we shared.

She smiled then, and I didn
’
t feel so much an outsider any more.
“
Give me your number,
”
I asked,
“
I
’
m planning a house warming party and you
’
re invited. In fact you have Carte Blanche.
”

Her voice became cynical then as she replied,
“
You said that to me once before.
”

I leaned toward her, looking forward to a romantic story,
“
Well what happened?
”

“
I think you were drunk at the time.
”
Her voice was cold as ice and I could see that it would take a lot of work to return to her good graces.

“
Well, it was probably your fault, giving me all that champagne.
”

Liana just looked at me with very little emotion, and so I did my best. I put the card she had handed me into my pocket and smiled my most charming smile.
“
I loved it,
”
I said with passion, looking into her eyes to let her know how much she had really meant to me. And then I took her hand in mine once again, holding it for as long as possible while I said,
“
I
’
ll send you an invitation.
”

She smiled and nodded and let me keep her hand. And then we walked off, apart from each other, with no violin music playing and no resolution. Liana. Liana. I couldn
’
t believe it. Maybe she was the real reason I had come to
Los Angeles
. Maybe she was the woman for me after all. What other reason could there be for us to run into each other after all these year? You knew for sure that this woman could open a can of soup and take care of an ailing husband. And it seemed she grew better with time. All those years had passed and she had grown more beautiful, more capable, more womanly. I felt my heart, my arms, my whole body yearn for Liana.

She was here in
L.A.
and I was here. She had been really in love with me, I knew that. And now we were both here together. It had to mean something. I walked out of Cutters toward my car with that thought buzzing in my head. It had to mean something. I could have married Liana then, and I should have married Liana then. Maybe I was a fool in the past but I didn
’
t have to be a fool in the future. I sat in my car thinking about the whole thing and I was determined to get in touch with Liana right away, to make things right and to have a real relationship with her.

I pulled her card out of my pocket to look at it, and then all the other numbers I had collected came out with it. I had a date for tennis with Tawny, a beautiful
California
blonde. And Liana was here in
Los Angeles
. I didn
’
t have to be alone or miserable any more.

Liana

Auld Lang Syne

Ace fell in love at first sight with a girl who fell in love right back, and within two weeks she had moved in with him. I began to think that Violet and I should move out of Ace
’
s house so that he and Delilah could have some privacy, but we all got on so well that it wasn
’
t necessary. Delilah and I became instant friends, and Violet fell in love with Samson, Delilah
’
s big gray cat.

We
’
d sit around together during meals or in the evening, and it was so amusing to listen to their conversations and so warm to be a part of their affection. It was better than watching a rerun of Newman and Woodward in
The Long Hot Summer
on TV. Delilah would say to Ace,
“
Y
’
know, once I read this
Nancy
Friday book of fantasies in which this guy dreams of getting a fat woman and tying her to the bed until she
’
s thin and beautiful. Would you do that for me?
”

And then Ace would laugh and answer,
“
Deli, you can be sure of one thing
—
that if I tie you to the bed it sure won
’
t be to make you do crunches.
”

Delilah would laugh right back and she
’
d answer,
“
Don
’
t call me Deli
—
it sounds so fattening.
”

And Ace would reply,
“
You are my deli, and I love your corned beef on rye.
”
Then he
’
d reach over and bite her on the neck or hug her or tickle her.

And Delilah would squeal with pleasure and love for Ace and reply,
“
Ooh Bluebeard, I
’
ll walk the plank for you any day.
”

Delilah always called Ace Bluebeard because she said she was sure he had been a pirate in a past life, and because he looked like one now with his long hair and hoop earring.

Each day there would another playful scene between them and the energy in the house got happier and happier. Delilah spent lots of time with Violet, something Violet enjoyed because Deli could always make her laugh. And I began to yearn for a partner of my own, someone with whom I could share the kind of genuine love affair that my brother was having. Each day I watched them and wished for a soulmate of my own. I had everything else, and all that was left was to meet a man I could love and marry.

Ace decided to have a party for all his clients, and that worked out positively for us all. Deli met a studio executive with whom she hit it off right away, and who hired her to read scripts at home, which meant she could work on movies, something she really loved, and that she and Ace would have more time together plus more time with Violet while I was at work.

I met Jerry, a friend of a friend, and we began a love affair. I saw Jerry across the room as he came in the door with one of Ace
’
s clients. He was gorgeous and I wanted to meet him right away. We made eye contact and it didn
’
t take long before we were talking and laughing together. Jerry was tall and sexy and he had a merry, twinkling, naughty light in his eyes that always made me smile. It seemed that Jerry
’
s eyes held only happiness for me.

He and I dated every night for a while, and it felt like we were both falling in love. We
’
d meet for drinks and dinner and the conversation was easy and flowing, and one or the other of us would reach a hand for the other
’
s hand or casually brush thigh against thigh, in the constant physical confirmation we sought of one another
’
s presence. Sometimes I
’
d spend the night at his house, enjoying the sex and the closeness of sleeping next to this man who liked to twine his limbs around mine, to hug and kiss me while he slept.

There was no question that were growing closer, and I knew that I loved Jerry and he loved me. The only problem was that he didn
’
t really have the time to devote to romance after the first few weeks. Even tho we only spent occasional evenings together because I had to be home with Violet, he still wanted to go to sleep by nine, and that is when I
’
m just about ready for my dinner. He liked to rise at the crack of dawn to get into the office to attend to all his affairs, and I am not a morning person.

Those things were issues on which we both might have been able to compromise, but Jerry was not a compromiser. We had dates whenever he wanted, only when he wanted, and if I wanted some company or for some reason needed him, he was unavailable. I don
’
t like to be overly pushy, and it is my philosophy that love works best when each person accepts the other exactly as he or she is, rather than asking for constant changes and compromise, but it seemed that Jerry was completely unavailable to me, except as I fit into his schedules, and that didn
’
t seem like a good basis for a marriage.

I might have put those things aside as well, except for the weekends. Most weekends Jerry liked to go hunting or fishing. That meant that he had almost no time for me. Any other woman might have wondered if he were seeing someone else, but I knew that just wasn
’
t so. Jerry believed in devoting six hours a month to love, and I got all six. Every time we were together, it was lovely, and we both felt a strong emotional pull. Loving Jerry was easy and natural, and I was sure he returned my feelings.

It seemed like such a shame that he was unwilling to devote more of himself to love and happiness and less to work and money. Again and again we discussed the situation. He assured me that he loved me and that I was exactly the kind of woman he wanted to marry. I believed him. But how could I see us together for the rest of our lives when we weren
’
t even together now, at the relative beginning of our love affair? Maybe in the future he would decide that three hours a month would be sufficient to devote to love. That would mean that we couldn
’
t even see a double feature together. What if we got married and had a child? How could I assume that Jerry would be there as a father when he wasn
’
t there as a lover and therefore probably not as a husband. It seemed hopeless.

It was obvious that I should end our romance, such as it was, but I couldn
’
t bring myself to do it. It had been so long since I was in love, and like some kind of fool, I always believe that love is such a powerful force it will cause those who harbor it to change their actions for the better, in the interest of happiness and all that is good in life. I kept waiting for it to happen with Jerry, but it never did.

Finally, when he decided to go mountain climbing over New Year
’
s, I decided to go hunting. Maybe there was a mammal in
Los Angeles
for me, and when Ace showed me that singles
’
networking flyer, I decided to attend their party. Ace and Delilah were planning to watch
Gone With The Wind
, something they were wildly enthusiastic about. Violet was thrilled to be included in their party, and even invited two of her friends to join them and then sleep over. I could have stayed at home with my family and it probably would have been more fun, because I admitted from the start when Ace gave me the singles
’
information, that I hate those events. I hate bars and anything that passes for an adult version of a fraternity party. But since it just wasn
’
t going to happen with Jerry, and soulmates were not lining up around the block, it seemed like a chance I ought to take.