The Space Between Heartbeats (17 page)

THURSDAY, 5:22 PM

He didn’t come. Dale never showed up to wipe away my tears . . . not one.

I rub my cast and fume away in the backseat of Dad’s car.

“Are you okay, honey?” Dad looks at me in the rearview mirror.

“Fine.” I focus on the houses as they flash by. The sun is bright, the clear blue sky mocking my sour mood.

“Is your leg hurting . . . or your elbow?” Mom twists around in the seat, her fingers digging into the fabric as she studies me.

I roll my eyes. “No, Mom. I’m fine, really.”

I turn away from their worried frowns. I should be happy that I’m heading home. I should be grateful that the doctor let me out a day early. Mom has been explaining how she’s set up a bed for me in the living room so I won’t have to go upstairs and I’ll have everything I need at my fingertips.

I don’t care.

Why had Dale not come by? I could have sworn I’d seen him when Adam arrived on Tuesday, but maybe I was wrong. Mom said he had been by while I was out of it. Why had he ignored me when I lay totally coherent for the last two days?

Maybe he’d changed his mind about me now that I was real and not just a voice in his head. I finger the hospital tag around my wrist, wanting to rip it off.

Dad pulls his car into our driveway. I stare at our beautiful home with its old-world exterior and modern insides. Cutting the engine, Dad swivels in his seat and looks at me with worried eyes.

“I’m fine, Dad. Just get me into the house,” I snap.

The driver’s door pops open and he scampers around to help me. It is a painful mission. I can’t use crutches and the wheelchair won’t go up our front steps, so Dad has to carry me into the house and to the couch. Placing me down, he gently pops a pillow under my leg and stands up, looking proud of himself.

“All good?”

I give a quick nod. Dad gently pats my uninjured leg and walks out of the room. Mom strolls in with the wheelchair and parks it at the edge of the couch so I can reach it easily, then takes a seat by my side. She can’t sit still; she fluffs the pillows behind my back, adjusts the wheelchair again, and looks at me expectantly.

“We’re going to hate that wheelchair, aren’t we?” I glare at the metal thing, the idea of my long journey weighing me down.

She looks over her shoulder at it and nods. “Probably.”

“This sucks.” I rub my forehead and turn away from her, resting my head back against the sofa.

Mom rubs my arm and murmurs, “You’re not mad about that chair though, are you?”

I can’t look at her as my nose starts to tingle and tears burn my eyes.

“Are you ready to talk about your friends visiting you the other day?”

“They’re not my friends,” I mumble, staring up at the slanted ceiling and studying the lines in the pale wood.

Gently taking my hand, Mom gives my fingers a squeeze, her thumb rubbing circles over my smooth skin. “You did the right thing, asking them to leave you alone.”

I finally look over at her and shrug. “Maybe . . . but now I have no one.”

“What about Dale?”

“What about him?” I sniff.

Mom’s lips twitch with a smile. “I thought maybe there was something going on between you two.”

“Yeah, well, me too, but now . . .” I shrug, aiming for casual. “It doesn’t matter anyway.”

The smile on Mom’s face grows a little bigger. “Honey, you’ve been living a life you hate for a few years now. It’s time to start fighting for the life you want.”

Her blue eyes sparkle as she holds my face in her hands.

“But I don’t know what I want, Mom.”

“Yes, you do.” Her grin is filled with amusement.

I hold my breath, reading her sweet expression, then finally let out a groan. “Fine! Hand me the phone.”

She rises from the couch and retrieves the phone, along with a small scrap of paper. She places it in my hand with a wink and slides the doors to the kitchen shut behind her.

I stare at the phone for a long minute trying to decide if I want to do this. Dale and I went through so much while he was searching for me. Maybe it was simply the high pressure that made me feel this way about him.

I close my eyes and think about that moment in the jail cell with his arms on either side of me. The look in his eyes spoke volumes. I couldn’t ignore it . . . but why hadn’t he come to see me?

With an irritated huff, I raise the paper. “Just do it already,” I mutter to myself.

I dial his number and start chewing on my lower lip.

The third ring is cut short by a voice that makes excited butterflies flitter through my system.

“Hello, Dale speaking.”

“Where have you been?” I snap. “Why didn’t you come see me the last couple of days?”

There’s a pregnant pause and then a soft, breathy chuckle.

“Hey, Nicky.” His voice is calm and easy. “How’s it going?”

“Seriously? That’s all you have to say?”

He pulls in a breath, holds it for about three seconds, and then lets it out in a rush. “I came to see you on Tuesday, but your friends beat me to it. I just thought you might need a little space to figure out what you want. I wasn’t sure where we stood.”

“Where we stood? We just went through all that crap together and you don’t know where we
stand
?” My mind reels in frustration.

Dale clears his throat. “Look, you already know how I feel about you. I don’t want to pressure you to reciprocate, so I thought I’d let you make the next move.”

I tip my head back. “You don’t know anything about girls, do you?”

“Give me a break. I just want you to decide what you want for you . . . not because of me, not because of your parents or your dumbass friends. What do
you
want?”

“I don’t—” I’m about to say
know
, but stop myself. For the first time in years, I
do
know what I want and I hate that he’s making me say it. “I want you to call me and see how I’m doing. I don’t want to lie alone in a hospital bed waiting for you to mop up my tears. I
want you to be here to welcome me home!” My voice drops as I keep going, the idea of having a future with him giving me butterflies. “I want to see your beautiful face laughing at me when I’m being an idiot. I want you to watch movies with me and hang out and listen to Granite with me. I want you to hold my hand and I want you to kiss me good-bye at the end of each day.” I inhale quickly, suddenly registering everything I’ve just said. Embarrassment flares through me and sparks my indignant anger. “And I don’t want to have to tell you to do any of this stuff! I can’t believe I’m humiliating myself like this. Just forget it.”

He chortles and my mouth drops open. I would have done anything for an old-fashioned phone—to hear that satisfying rattle and
clang
as I slam it on the cradle. Instead, pushing the End button
really
hard will have to suffice.

Collapsing back into the couch with too much force, I wince as pain radiates down my arm. I blink at tears and swear. Swiping them away angrily, I gaze out the huge glass windows and notice for the first time that the tree is gone.

I gaze at the blank space, noticing a soft patch of grass behind it. The sun is lighting the area, making it look like the perfect picnic spot, and I can’t help but wonder if Jody’s just been waiting to highlight it for me.

I wipe the last of the tears from my cheeks and lift my leg off the pillow. Aiming for the wheelchair, I start scooting toward the edge of the couch. I grip one of the black handles and drag it toward me; the large wheels knock into the furniture.

The doorbell rings and I freeze. My knuckles go white as I strain to hear voices.

“Oh, hi, Dale. Come on in.” Mom sounds giddy with excitement. “She’s just in the living room.”

My shoulders tense and I gasp as pain shoots down my arm. My back goes stiff as I hear the footsteps coming through the kitchen.

I swivel around to glare at the door, resting my good arm on the back of the sofa. I want to make sure my pissed-off face is the first thing Dale sees.

The doors slide apart slowly and his adorable mop of hair appears. My stomach does a little hiccup and my heart starts thrumming. When his warm brown gaze hits me, it’s an effort not to melt into the couch.

“Hey.” He gives me that smirk I adore and I have to clench my jaw to stop myself from smiling.

“What do you want?” Flustered by my insane reaction, I try to pull myself up, but the brakes aren’t on the chair and it starts to roll away from me. I stumble on my good leg and start heading for a mortifying finish on the floor.

Dale’s there in a second, gently catching me against him. His strong arm around my waist holds me tightly to his side.

“I want to catch you when you fall.” He grins down at me.

I roll my eyes. “That’s the cheesiest thing I’ve ever heard.”

His smile is delicious as he scoops me into his arms. Nudging the chair out of the way, he picks me up and lays me on the couch, nestling me against the soft pillows, carefully arranging my leg. Taking a seat beside me, he brushes my bangs away from my face with the tips of his fingers. His brown eyes are like rich cocoa as I drink him in.

My throat is so thick with emotion I can barely breathe. I want to protect myself, to spit out something snarky and mean, but then he starts talking and my defensive walls are ripped apart.

He lifts the Granite dog tags from where they rest on my chest and runs his finger over the letters. He smirks. “You know what I want?” he asks.

I swallow.

“I want to hear you call me beautiful again.” A bright blush blooms on his cheeks as he snickers, then dips his head. But after a quick beat, he looks up at me with all the sincerity in the world and whispers, “I also want to drive you to rehab.” His lips form a soft smile. “I want to be there with you and tell you not to quit when it really hurts and you want to give up.”

My insides turn to mush as his words sink in. I blink away the tears as he leans toward me.

“And I want to kiss you every day, but not just because I’m saying good-bye.”

My lips stretch wide with a smile as his nose touches mine. We lock eyes for a moment, and then his gaze lights up even more. Tingles rocket along my skin as he places his hand on my neck. And between one heartbeat and the next, he gently leans toward me and touches his lips to mine.

I’ve never felt anything like it.

It’s soft, sweet, and holds more promise than any other kiss I’ve ever received.

I place my hand on his cheek, running my fingers over his warm skin, and relish the warmth of his touch.

And all I can think is, “I’ve finally found my way home.”

“I once was lost, but now am found.

Was blind, but now I see.”

Amazing Grace
, John Newton, 1779

COMING IN OCTOBER 2015

The Space Before (Dale’s prequel novella)

The Space Beyond (Dale & Nicole’s sequel novella)

Writing a book is always such a massive undertaking and requires the help and support of so many people.
The Space Between Heartbeats
means so much to me. It’s been one of those books I’ve cherished and lived with for a long time before sitting down to write it and then I had the absolute pleasure of working with Alloy Entertainment to make it into something even better.

Thank you so much to Eliza Swift and Lanie Davis for your amazing input. Your support throughout this process has been brilliant and I have learned so much.

Thank you to my agent, Rachel Marks, for helping me get this awesome deal. You’re a sweetheart and I love working with you.

I want to give a special mention to Scott and Ruth, who helped me with all the medical stuff I needed to make this story realistic. You are a wealth of knowledge and I so appreciate your time and expertise.

And I can’t write a book at all without the support of my family, my friends, and my very loyal fans. I love you all for different reasons. You make my life whole, rich, and complete.

Last, but not least, I’d like to thank my creator who gave me an imagination that loves to dream. Thank you for the pictures and the words in my head, and the characters you place in my heart. I love you.