The (sort of) Dark Mage (Waldo Rabbit) (24 page)

“You really are very strange,” she whispered. “But I like you.”

She felt warm and comfortable snuggled up against him.

“I like you too Alice.”

In response she squeezed his arm a little.

“Let’s try and find the road again tomorrow.”

“Yes darling.”

Chapter 15

Different Dances, Different Offerings

That night Waldo fell asleep with Alice by the fire. They had no blankets
, so the two of them simply laid down in the grass. She’d put her head on his chest and rested against him.

“We need to keep each other warm. We’re married so this is all right. It’s normal.”

It was summer time and the night was warm. With the fire going it was actually pleasant.

Awkwardly he slid an arm around her. “I suppose it is. Good night Alice.”

“Good night darling.”

He closed his eyes and fell into a deep and peaceful sleep.

XXX

In Castle Corpselover

Walter was seated in his usual place, to his mother’s left. Directly across from him was an empty chair.

On his plate was a live suckling pig with its legs and snout tied with twine. The animal struggled and twisted against its binds. Even with its mouth tied shut it gave off high pitched squeals.

Normally this would have added to Walter’s appetite. He enjoyed seeing the terror in his victims, whether it was a pig or a human slave. Tonight though, all his focus was on the empty seat in front of him.

“Is something wrong?” Lilith asked from the head of the table. She was calmly eating a steak and lightly sautéed mushrooms. She was used to Walter’s eating habits and the helpless animal’s cries bothered her not at all.

“Why am I still on your left?”

Lilith took a sip of red wine before answering in a very polite tone. “I think you know why.”

“Waldo is never coming back, he is a dead man.”

“A dead man? Interesting choice of words considering the source.”

“Are you making fun of me mother?

“No, I just think you should be a little less certain about things. Your brother is alive and well, and I have every hope he will return one day. Until then, or until I am certain he is gone, that seat,” she nodded to her right. “Belongs to him.”

“When Waldo dies, what then?”

“Don’t ask stupid questions. The answer is obvious.”

Walter directed a furious glare at his mother. She had no trouble at all meeting it.

“You won’t choose me will you? Even though I would be your last surviving child, you won’t make me your heir.”

Lilith gave an annoyed shake of her head. “The dead cannot rule the living. You know that. There are laws that even I cannot break.”

“Would you if you could?”

“You are starting to annoy me.”

“You broke one of the rules for Waldo. You’re not supposed to give someone coin when they set out on their First Quest. You didn’t do it for me but I know you did it for him.”

“I didn’t do it for any of my other children either. You and the others went out on normal First Quests. Since the Council cheated I did too. I did the best I could for Waldo like I did for you and the others.”

“That’s not true! You could give me what I deserve, what’s mine!”

Lilith spoke very softly. “Lower your voice when you speak to me.”

Walter sat back and obediently lowered his head. “Yes mother.”

Lilith spoke quietly while checking her own mounting anger. “I did the best I could for you. When I found your body I sewed up the hole in your chest where your heart had been torn out. I washed your corpse and wrote the runes on your skin with my own blood. I offered up a sacrifice and called upon the Dark Powers to return your soul. I saw you open your eyes and live again. You are still able to use some magic and retain most of your memories. You can think and feel. You are a superb zombie, but you are a zombie all the same. You cannot father a child. You cannot work the deeper magics. You cannot take my place upon the council. I have already given you all that I could; do not ask me for any more.”

Lilith returned her attention to her meal.

Walter got up from his seat and left.

XXX

When Waldo woke the next morning Alice was no longer at his side.

She had the fire going again and a couple fish already speared and cooking.

“Good morning darling.” She said cheerfully. “There’s a little stream over in that direction if you’re thirsty or want to wash up.”

“Morning,” he said yawning. He could see the horrible ball of fire was already up in the unnatural blue sky. “I think I’ll do just that.”

Wandering off about fifty feet he found the little stream. It was only five feet wide and could easily be walked across. Kneeling down he cupped his hands and drank as much water as he could and then washed his face.

I don’t have any waterskins so I can’t bring any water with me.
He also didn’t have a blanket if the night was cold. He didn’t have any spare clothes. Not to mention he felt almost naked without his robes.

When he came back to the fire he and Alice sat down together and began to eat.

“We need supplies.” Waldo told her. “If we’re going to travel we are going to need more than just the clothes on our backs.”

“That’s true enough. There are plenty of stores back in Stratford, but by now I’m sure everyone is talking about me.” She gave a slight shudder. “I don’t think we should go back there.”

“No, that wouldn’t be wise. Where would be the next closest place?”

“There’s a small village about five miles up the road from Stratford called Fall River. We may be able to buy what we need there.”

“Buy or steal.”

“Steal?” Alice said scandalized.

Waldo nodded.

“Do you really want to do that sort of thing?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I’m a Dark Mage, of course I steal. In a sense that’s the whole point of going out on quests; to take all that you can and bring it back with you.”

“I always thought quests were about facing danger in order to perform noble deeds. Slaying dragons, rescuing princesses, recovering holy relics, you know, that sort of thing.”

“Knights may have those sorts of quests, though I’m willing to bet they’re not as altruistic as they pretend. For us the quests have nothing to do with noble deeds. They are about proving your strength and bringing back treasure.”

“Then why did you give Elsa all that gold to save me?”

“It seemed simpler than trying to overpower her and steal you away. I was bringing you with me no matter what. In any case, you are much more precious to me than a hundred pieces of gold.”

Alice’s cheeks blushed slightly. “I think that is the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me.”

She began twisting from side to side.

Waldo saw her reaction and felt a sense of pleasure through their bond. If she was happy he was glad, though for the life of him he couldn’t guess why.

“We should set out to find the road.” He glanced about. “So which direction should we go?”

“West.”

He paused and looked around again. “Which way is west?”

“Can’t you tell just by looking at the morning sun?”

“No.”

Alice snorted a laugh.

“This is not funny.”

“I’m sorry darling; I’m just surprised that someone so smart wouldn’t know something so obvious.”

“I can tell you about monsters of all types and about various forms of magical theory. I am well versed in history, math, and the sciences. I can explain to you why the sun circles the earth. I can make a love potion guaranteed to steal away any heart or make a ward strong enough to hold back an army of the undead.”

“You just can’t figure out which way is west.”

“Navigating through the wilderness was not a part of my education.” He said with as much dignity as he could muster.

“Might have been good to learn before going off on a quest. It might help with not getting lost in the woods.”

“I had a map.”

Even a map needs you to know which way is north.
Not wanting to hurt his feelings she decided not to say that aloud and pointed. “West is this way.”

Together the two of them started to make their way through the wood.

“Darling, there’s something I’m wondering about, though I’m almost afraid to ask.”

“What?”

Alice began pulling on her hair. “Ah, the other day, when you compared a part of my body to your mother’s. You’ve, ah, never actually, I mean except when you were a baby of course, you haven’t really…”

“Alice what are you trying to ask me?”

“You’ve never actually seen your mother’s breasts, right? I mean not directly, right?”

“Well that’s a silly question.”

She breathed a huge sigh of relief.

“Of course I’ve seen them.”

Waldo went another seven steps before realizing he was on his own. Turning around he saw Alice standing there with her jaw open and a look of horror on her face. “WHAT?”

He sighed. “You’re not going to run away again are you? I only saw them during the holidays.”

Her lips twisted. “Holidays?”

“What? Don’t your people celebrate the Solstices?”

She just stared at him. “What do the summer and winter solstice have to do with you seeing your mother’s breasts?”

“How do you celebrate them?”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“Please just humor me.”

“For the summer solstice we have an outdoor festival with feasting and games and we have a special dance around a pole with long strips of ribbon attached to it.”

“Do you dance naked?”

“Who dances naked in public?! Even soiled doves only do that sort of thing behind closed doors.”

“I see, so your culture has a prohibition on nudity; very close minded. What do you do for the Winter Solstice?”

“We build a bonfire and sing to the Earth Mother Terrasa, beseeching her to return and bring life back to the land. We also bring offerings to the graves to remember the dead. Well most folk do, I don’t have any family so I never had any graves to visit.”