The Song Remains the Same (64 page)

“I’ve missed you guys so much!” Lili wailed.

“We missed you, too!” Alys laughed.

Devon walked up to us, a tired smile on his scruffy face. “Hey.”

“Hey,” I replied. “What…”

He slightly shook his head, still smiling. “Phil’s doing great. Really, really great, Kenna.”

My chest released some tension from around my heart. “Great.”

Tipping his head to the right, he asked, “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Yeah. Sure.”

Out of earshot from Alys and Lili, Devon dug out a black satin pouch from his jeans pocket. “Phil needed me to give this to you. Before you open it, I want you to not freak out because it’s not what it looks like.”

“What does it look like?”

Placing the pouch in my hand, I felt the crinkled rigidity of folded paper and something heavy. Before I started bawling my eyes out because I
knew
what that weight was, I dumped the contents into my hand.

The DiAblo.

“Oh…” I breathed softly.

“After he gave it to me, I admit…I
had
to look at it. I was dying to try it on, too, but I didn’t. If I had, I think Phil’s Spidey Sense would’ve kicked in, and he’d leave me looking like Jones. It’s quite beautiful.”

I could only nod. I didn’t trust myself to speak.

“It’s important that you read that,” he told me.

“Okay,” I whispered.

“I read it, too.”

My eyes snapped to his, fury flashing at him. “Why would you do that?”

Devon grinned. “Because I’m a nosy motherfucker, and if he was leaving you, I planned on staking my claim.”

“Pfft!” I snorted.

“Kenna, everything he’s doing right now is for you. No matter what he tries to tell himself, no matter what he’s trying to tell everyone else, he’s doing all of this with you in his head. I don’t want to say that he’s trying to
be
you, but he’s trying to live up to your level of understanding.”

“Wow. That’s the greatest compliment anyone could ever receive.”

“No shit. So, don’t freak out because he’s giving this to you. He wants it back. He’s planning on getting it back by earning it.”

My heart…he swelled with an emotion so intense, so all-consuming, that the tears I’d fought to hold back spilled over, and the dam simply broke. Devon pulled me into his arms and let his strength hold me up as I blubbered all over his shoulder.

When I calmed, he pushed me back, so he could look down into my eyes. “Bougainvillea is going to reopen when Phil’s finished with this. We’re going to put on a show in honor of X and make an announcement about NOLA’s Own. Sheri’s been working nonstop on getting everything ready. It’s scheduled for the day you come back.”

I nodded.

Gently, Devon kissed my brow above my Third Eye. “Maybe I’ll catch up with you ladies on my way back. Lili said you’re going to London?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll call you then. My next flight leaves in about an hour, so I have to get going.”

I nodded again, and he turned, first heading back to my girls for a brief hug. Then, he grabbed his bags before making his way to Departures.

It wasn’t until I was alone in my bedroom at Gran and Gramps’s hours later that I was finally able to open the piece of paper that came with the DiAblo.

My Other Half,

It’s not easy for me to do this. I’m not taking the promise back. I’ll be marrying you one day, Baby Girl.

I just feel that all the things you’ve so selflessly given to me should be earned. If anything, these weeks without you have opened my eyes to the person you truly are, and I respect and love you more than I ever thought possible. You’re my inspiration to be a better human, a more compassionate person, one who puts others before myself. Just like you do. Your selflessness saved more than my life. It saved my soul, and you now have all of that, too.

I need you to hold on to this for me until you know I’m worthy of you. I guess I just feel like someone else now. I need you to know me as I am and make sure I’m still the man you love. I know I have to return it to you until I deserve it.

I love you, I love you, I love you.

Waiting for my wife,

Phil

Warmth infused my chest, Phil’s love healing me from half a world away. He might think he was a different man, but I knew better. He was my other half, no matter what.

The moment we were back together, the DiAblo would be going back on his hand. It was the only place it belonged.

In London, the tattoo convention was packed with all sorts of people, the place buzzing with excitement and the sound of tattoo machines. Laughter and conversation swirled around, nearly visible in a mist of communication. Along with bright, colorful displays of artwork and inked flesh, there was also the lingering aroma of some ripe-ass bodies mingled in with fried foods and stale soda.

While I was lying in the barber chair that would be my main location for the next six or so hours, Darren Wright gently lifted the stencil from my skin.

Darren was a cutie. With thick dark brown hair, he had big brown eyes that made him appear deceptively innocent along with the longest black eyelashes
anyone
should be allowed to have naturally. Average height, medium build, he wore his rockin’ nut-hugger jeans and Chucks very well.

Lili took a ton of photos, and I had a feeling that at least ninety-seven percent of them were of Darren.

Over some pints a few nights ago, Lili had confided in Alys and me that she and Lewis were having some issues, and she’d decided to stay with us until we returned to the States.

“He bought a new restaurant in Eureka and didn’t even discuss it with me,” she’d told us miserably. “He knows how badly I want to go back home. But it was like he didn’t care about that. He wanted to open a restaurant in Eureka, so he did.”

She’d fallen apart at that point. It might have been the four or five pints, but I truly believed she was as heartbroken as she’d ever been.

Right there and then, we’d promised each other that, while we were on this holiday, we would shut up about the misery we were all experiencing.

So far, it had been working like a charm.

“You ready, Mrs. Baby Girl?” asked Darren, smiling his pearly whites at me.

“As I’ll ever be,” I replied with my own slightly sad smile.

As his foot touched the power pedal, the machine buzzed to life, and I clutched the DiAblo in my left hand. Closing my eyes, the kiss of the needle on my skin released my endorphins, and I slipped into my happy place.

“Hey, Baby Girl…”

“Phil is going to lose his shit when he sees that,” said Lili.

“In a good way?” I laughed. It didn’t matter either way. I’d gotten a piece of art on me that I loved, and I would proudly show it off until the day I died.

“I don’t know,” she replied. “But he’s going to flip.”

“He’ll love it,” stated Alys as we headed to the car. “Because it’s a part of you.”

Still clutching Phil’s ring, I slipped it deep into my pocket, so there was no chance it would fall out. “Right, well, I need some food and a few beers now. Who’s with me?”

We found a decent pub and ordered three plates of fish and chips and pints of beer. Once we were full, we started drinking as though we were locals.

About four pints in, Alys teared up.

“Is it your turn tonight?” asked Lili shrewdly.

“I guess so. Damn,” Alys replied.

“Is it X?” Lili asked.

Alys shrugged. “Yes and no.”

“Well, that’s not vague or anything,” said snarky Lili.

“What is it then?” I asked.

Alys sank her teeth into her generous bottom lip. “I miss X. And I miss Connor.”

“Yeah, are you ever going to spill the beans on that, or what?” huffed Lili. “I mean, shit, Alys, I thought we were your best friends. You know
everything
about us, yet you’ve kept this shit secret as all hell—”

“I slept with Connor.”

I nodded. Really, I’d known it had to be something along those lines for him to have had such a meltdown.

“When?” demanded Lili.

“What? Like the first time?” asked Alys.

“The first time?”
Lili screeched.

Man, I loved these two. The server came up and asked if we’d like another round, and yes, we would.
Needed
it was more like it.

“The music festival in ’96 was the first time,” Alys quietly told us.

Wait. What?

“You’re fucking
kidding
me! He was, like, fourteen!” said Lili.

Then, it hit me. “
Connor
was your first?”

Alys nodded, her face flushed with more than just alcohol. “He was my only until I met X.”

“Shut the fuck up!”
snarled Lili.

“Lili, take it down a notch,” I said.

“Fuck that! She’s kept this shit secret for
ten fucking years
!”

“At first, neither of us wanted anyone to know, okay?” said Alys. “I was seventeen, and he was fourteen, but we wanted to be together. Yeah, I was seeing Mikey at the time, but I never slept with him. After that concert, you know, we decided to just be friends.”

“How did you sneak in a barely legal fuck at the music festival?” demanded Lili.

“Um, it was the last day—”

“
Gross,
Alys. We were
so
filthy,” Lili hissed.

“In the tent while everyone else was out. I said I had a headache, which I did! And Connor came back with me, remember?”

Both Lili and I nodded. Lili was quite tight-lipped by this point, thinking of bodies that had gone days without washing and then getting it on—in a tent, no less.

“It just sort of…happened. He asked me if I was serious about Mike, and I said no. Then, he kind of…threw himself on me. It felt right. It was—”

“Gross,” interjected Lili.

“Natural.”

“Maybe a little
too
natural,” muttered Lili.

I lost it. I laughed so hard that tears poured out of my eyes, and my stomach cramped. Alys looked at me in shock, which only made me laugh harder. When Lili got the giggles, I lost it all over again. Our server dropped off our pints and walked away, and still, I was laughing.

“Anyway,” said Alys loudly.

“Go on,” I told Alys, snorting.

“Connor and I had whatever we had up until Grandma Betty passed away. The last time we were, um—”

“
Natural
together,” supplied Lili.

I had to close my eyes and bite my tongue to stop myself from busting out again.

“Yeah, sure,” said Alys. “It was before he went back to Miami. He wanted us to come clean with everyone and be together, and I told him I wanted to wait until he finished school. He didn’t take it well. Basically, he told me to fuck off, that eight years of sneaking around was enough for him.”

“Why didn’t you just go for it?” I asked.

“Because…I guess I just wanted him to have the freedom to have fun without having to justify it to me. He dated other chicks while he was there, you know? I was okay with that even though I never…not until X anyway.”