The Song of Eloh Saga (69 page)

“I know you can, Lianne. I was just worried you were telling him about his Awakening. His birthday isn’t for a couple months yet. The men told me it could be devastating to his mind if the spell is tampered with too soon. I don’t want anything to happen to Bryden,” he insisted. “I’m only trying to help.”

I’d seen Kellan lie so many times, usually in the heat of battle. The only times he’d ever looked me in the eye, without blinking, were the times when he lied to me. I watched his lashes, unmoving, as he stared at me. Bryden was right.

“Am I supposed to believe that?” I asked, pushing him away. Kellan stumbled, obviously surprised by my reaction. Up until now I’d batted my eyelashes at him every time he opened his mouth. Not anymore. He’d have to learn that it was time for me to form my own opinions, in and out of the sparring ring.

He surprised me by laughing again. His head tilted backward and his hair fell back into place.

“I was wondering how the Awakening would affect you,” he said, catching his breath. “I wondered if it would make you feistier, like when you’re in the ring. It definitely has.”

Kellan pulled me into his arms and kissed me. I flattened my palms against his chest, trying to push him away. But his upper arm strength won out over mine. It always did in the ring, which is why I always avoided getting too close to him.

“Stop it,” I mumbled into his lips, refusing to kiss him back.

Kellan nibbled my lower lip one last time before pulling away, but he still held me tight in his arms.

“I was waiting for this,” he said.

“What?”

“For you to drop the sweet little girl act. It’s time to grow up and act like the warrior you are, Lianne.”

“So the reason we got together on your birthday? It was only because you were waiting for the angrier version of me?”

Kellan smiled and raised an eyebrow. “Tell me you don’t like yourself better this way.”

My stomach twisted in knots. All these years I’d loved him unconditionally and he’d only decided to love me because he knew that one day I’d be angrier, tougher, less like the real me. It wasn’t me he loved, just a shadow of the girl he hoped I’d become. And now he thought he had that girl.

Too bad for him the old me wasn’t completely gone, only trying to find a way to reconcile herself with the new girl inside.

“I can’t be around you right now,” I said, stepping backward.

“Lianne.” Kellan’s eyes narrowed. He looked at me the same way he’d looked at Bryden only moments ago. I felt reviled, hated. “Don’t do this. We have a mission. Our people are counting on us and we need to work together.”

“I don’t need to do anything,” I said.

“Yes, you do,” Kellan said. “You have to realize that. Our people are suffering, dying, at home and we have the chance to change that. Don’t you get it Lianne? We’re the only chance the Dalagans have.”

He blinked. He wasn’t lying this time, at least I didn’t think he was. I wanted to know why this was so important to Kellan.

“Think of your family, the people who gave birth to you. They are counting on you to save them. They gave you up so you could save them. How can you turn your backs on them?”

I wavered. He was right. I did have a biological family back at home. But, I didn’t know them. The only family I knew was here. Not my mother and sister. I loved them about as much as they loved me. But, Mags, the boys, and Aric had been kind to me and they were my family.

“You have the opportunity to save our people.”

“I didn’t ask for this.”

“No, but you are the one person who’s best equipped to do it,” he said. “You have access to the royal chambers. You’re a seasoned fighter.”

“You can gain access,” I said. “You can fight.”

Kellan placed a hand on my shoulder, pulling me closer.

“But I’m not you, Lianne. You have always been better than me.”

His words struck my heart, bypassing all of the anger I had. Kellan had never admitted that anyone could be better than him at anything. It wasn’t a comment used in anger. He was opening himself to me in a way I’d always dreamed about.

My anger dissolved as quickly as it had flared. I reached up and touched Kellan’s cheek. His muscles were slack, none of the tenseness of anger bit through.

“I don’t know if I can,” I whispered.

“I trust you, Lianne. I’m here to help you every step of the way. You know me. You know my heart. You know how much I love you.”

I leaned over and whispered in his ear, “I love you too.”

Tears dropped from my eyes as Kellan encircled me with his strong arms. He held me tight and I laid my head on his shoulder.

He was right and I knew it. I was the only one who could get close enough to the throne. But to kill someone, even the thought of it, tore at my insides. Yes, I’d been trained to fight. Yes, I could probably defeat anyone in combat. But to kill a man, even an evil man like King Rotlar, was more than I could bear to think about.

With my anger at a low level, I concentrated more on my heart. It pounded, delighted to be in Kellan’s embrace. But a small part whispered Bryden’s name.

Chapter Ten

Over the next few weeks, I spent most of my free time in Kellan’s arms. I’d looked for Bryden for a few days, but he’d disappeared again, just like when we were children. I let him go, knowing he probably needed the time to himself. Instead I’d spent my days running errands for Mags and Trevin and my nights holed up with Kellan. My mornings were spent trying to shake off more nightmares about boats and the river.

Kellan told me more about our people, everything he had learned from the three visitors. Bryden must have misunderstood something. How could Kellan make up all of this? They were the same men who were caught and executed because they were coming to see me on my birthday. Kellan reminded me of that daily. I wondered if he mistrusted my loyalty. I know I still hadn’t figured it out.

During the day I knew killing the king was foolish, but during the nights when Kellan whispered in my ear while he nibbled on my lobe, I forgot most of my misgivings. But still, a part of me wondered about Bryden. If he would spend time with me and tell me his ideas then maybe things wouldn’t be so confusing. I’d have both sides clearly laid out and I could make a decision when I wasn’t so angry.

Even Mags noticed a difference. I didn’t act out against her, but my intolerance for working with Albree was obvious. Her presence made me sick to my stomach now and when I didn’t feel well, I couldn’t put up with her mean words and nasty glances. She’d become even more intolerable since my birthday, asking where I was at night and why I never came home anymore. I wanted to rub her nose in the fact I was sleeping with Kellan every night, but I didn’t.

True to her word, Mags didn’t ask about Kellan and me. While I still considered her my closest friend, our relationship was strained. I couldn’t confide in her. I didn’t know how much to trust her. The king’s wife, best friend of the enemy. Where did her loyalties ultimately lie and could I ask her to choose?

I stacked Trevin’s clothes in the wardrobe, delighting in the fresh clean smell. He was a fussy baby and spit up a lot. He only smelled good after a bath and his clothes suffered the same fate. Sour smelling stains dotted them even though Mags tried cleaning him every time he erupted. It was never enough, though. Trevin was cute and stinky.

The king burst in the door.

I fell to my knees, forehead to the floor. Albree did the same across the room. Adopted or born here, all bowed to the king. Except Mags. She never bowed to him while in bed.

I heard Mags back up against the headboard. The sheets rustled as I imagined her scooting backward, the wood bumping against the wall from the pressure of her pushing up against it.

“Did you think I wouldn’t find out?” Rotlar roared, his resounding bass causing the glasses on the bedside table to rattle. Trevin’s screams flooded the room. He wasn’t used to loud noises and he didn’t like them. His older brothers never seemed bothered by anything, but Trevin was sensitive.

“Find out what?” Mags asked. She didn’t sound afraid, but by the tone of the king’s voice I wondered if she should be.

“Trevin isn’t mine.”

I gasped. It couldn’t be true. Mags hated him, but she’d been faithful. How could she have had time to be otherwise? She’d either been pregnant or caring for her kids. It was impossible.

“I will not give an ear to rumors like that,” Mags said. Most people cowered before the king, like me, but not Mags.

“I don’t care what you do or do not listen to, woman. I have irrefutable proof.”

I saw his boots stride toward the door. My breath released as I realized he was leaving. But he paused at the door, standing with it opened.

“You and the boy will be executed in one week’s time.”

He walked out and slammed the door behind him.

Mags dismissed me without a word. She waved her arm in the air and refused to meet my eyes or answer my questions. I ran to Kellan as fast as my feet could carry me. I couldn’t be there for Mags now, especially if all she wanted was to be alone, but I knew in my heart that if the king was dead first, Mags would be safe.

My anger flared with each pounding step. Mags was the most trustworthy person I’d ever known. Trevin was obviously the king’s son. He looked exactly like his brothers at this age and his oldest brother looked more like his father every day.

I couldn’t figure out who would do this to her and what kind of proof could they have. And poor Trevin. Only a monster would kill a baby. I couldn’t do it, no matter how much anger I had after my Awakening. None of this was Trevin’s fault, or Mags’ for that matter.

I burst in Kellan’s house, my stomach churning with anger. I didn’t care if Aric was home or not. I ran into Kellan’s room and lay down on his bed. I smelled him in the blankets, burying my face in the rough fabric. My anger calmed slightly as I relaxed into his bed.

A few minutes later Kellan ran into his room. When he saw me on his bed, he ran over and took me in his arms.

“What’s wrong?” he asked. “Someone said they saw you running this way. I made an excuse to Aric and left bow practice. But I can’t be away long. I have to clean up afterwards.”

“The king thinks Mags cheated on him. He thinks Trevin isn’t his son.” I took in a deep breath to steady myself. The anger mixed with the fear, churning in my chest like a hurricane. I couldn’t think straight. “He’s going to execute them.”

Kellan jumped up from the bed and paced his small room. Only four strides before he had to turn around, but back and forth his feet carried him. He stopped in front of me, placed his hand on my chin and lifted my face up. Our eyes met.

“Do you understand now why he needs to die?” Kellan asked. “He’s killing everyone he comes into contact with. He’s like a plague, Lianne. I had hoped the plight of our people would have been enough for you, but I can see now it took this to shock you into realizing my plan is for the best. He needs to die,” Kellan repeated.

He needs to die. He needs to die. He needs to die.

I heard his voice echoing in my head. My inner voice mingled with his, singing in full choir telling me what I had fought for so long.

“How?” I asked.

“How long do we have?”

“One week.”

“Then we have little time to plan,” Kellan said. “But we can do it.”

He put his hands on my shoulders and pulled me close.

“We’ll save Mags,” he whispered.

“And the king will die at my hand,” I said.

Chapter Eleven

The next morning I reported for duty. I wanted to ask Mags if the king had come back and said anything else. If he’d changed his mind. If a miracle had occurred. But I kept silent as I walked into her chambers.

She glanced up at me, her eyes swollen and red.

“Albree has already been dismissed for the day,” Mags said, her voice steady. She knew how to carry herself, no matter how she felt inside. Always the queen. “I need you to help me with something.”

I ran to her side and pulled her into my arms.

“Anything, Mags.”

Trevin cooed in his bassinette next to the bed. We held each other, arms encircling our bodies as if we’d become one intertwined person.

“You need to take Trevin and leave with him. Take him far away, Lianne. You have to save him.”

I backed away, stumbling off the bed.

“But I can’t take him and leave you to die.” My heart pounded and I felt the fires in my stomach flare as my anger rose.

“You have to. You can run now and no one will know until the end of the day. You’d have a head start on everyone else. If I leave too then someone will know. The woman who brings the food or the one who cleans the chamber pot. Someone will notice I am gone. Besides, you are healthier than I am. I’ve been stuck in this room since Trevin was born. I don’t even think I’ve ran anywhere in four years. All I’ve been doing is having babies.”

I didn’t know what to say. I’d already decided to kill the king to save Mags and Trevin. Running away with Trevin and leaving Mags to die didn’t change the reasons I had for killing him. Her sacrifice only stoked the fire burning in my belly.

“No. I won’t do it.”

“Lianne,” Mags cried, tears forming the corners of her eyes. “I don’t have anyone else I can trust to take Trevin away from here. No one else can save him but you.”

“There’s another way,” I whispered, not daring to look her in the eyes.

“No, there isn’t. I’ve been up all night thinking about this, Lianne. There’s isn’t anything else we can do.”

“I have an idea,” I said, louder this time. She had to listen, to take me seriously. I climbed back on the bed and took her hand in mine.

Mags’ eyes, still rimmed with tears, moved from my face to Trevin. He was still happy, giggling, and blowing bubbles. On anyone else, it would have been disgusting, but babies could even make spittle cute.

A smile pushed at the corners of her mouth, but her grief was too fresh for even Trevin to break through.

“Save him,” she begged me, turning away from him.

“I want to. I will. But I will not take him away from you. I plan on saving both of you,” I whispered. “I’m going to kill Rotlar.”