The Song of Eloh Saga (51 page)

“What I don’t understand is how you remember everything. They severed you. I witnessed it. They were all quite confident they’d felt something snap in your gift and they couldn’t detect it afterward. They warned me you wouldn’t know who I was or remember anything about our past. Yet, here we are, having a conversation that shows you clearly know everything about your past. Can you access your gift?”

I weighed my options carefully. If I told her I could, then she would most certainly tell them. It could be her ticket out of slavery. If I told her no, then I would buy myself more time to figure out how to get out of this situation.

“I don’t think so. I mean, I haven’t tried. It’s not like my gift was ever useful anyway.” That much was true. I hadn’t tried yet, but somehow I knew I could reach it. My gift was stronger than ever. I just needed to be alone to try it out.

“And yet you remember everything. It’s strange.” Ivy started at me. “I won’t tell them, Reychel. Maybe we can find a way out of here together. You just need to trust me.”

“Do you promise to never touch me again?” I stared at her hands, the conduit of her gift. Without them she couldn’t control me. Simply touching me was enough for her gift to control my emotions, to make me trust her, to make me want her around. I hadn’t forgotten how she’d soothed two bandits in the forest during our escape. Her hands did not make any physical contact with them, but I never knew if she controlled them from so far away because they were weak or because she was strong. Now that I knew I could feel her gift working on me, I would be prepared.

“I swear I won’t ever touch you again, Reychel. Not unless you ask me to.”

I snorted and cursed myself for not holding it back. I needed Ivy to trust me, and to trust my faith in her. Without it, I might never escape. I needed her as an ally, but I would never trust her again.

My eyes met Ivy’s. The hurt flowed from her downturned mouth. I wanted to laugh again. How could she even expect me to trust her so quickly? After everything she’d done to me, she should have considered herself lucky I even spoke to her.

“I don’t think I will need you to soothe me ever again, Ivy. If you want me to trust you, you must swear it again.”

“I swear on my life, Reychel. I will never soothe you again.”

Her blue eyes swam with tears. False tears? Perhaps, but until I knew what game she was playing with me, I needed her. I couldn’t escape alone.

Chapter Eleven

After Ivy fell asleep on a rug in the corner of the room, I swung my legs over the edge of the bed again. This time I was determined to walk around without unsteadiness or nausea. We’d spent the rest of the day in an amicable silence. I didn’t want to talk to her or hear what had happened to her since I’d ripped the wig off her head during her wedding to my father.

Nor did I care how she’d been treated in the dungeon or how she’d been rescued. If she’d been liberated from my father’s dungeon, surely it wasn’t his idea. There must have been a battle, or some kind of trickery. She’d made a fool of him and he couldn’t let her go on purpose without further damaging his political position.

When I found out he’d known my whole life that I was gifted and used me to further his career, I knew then that nothing came before his position in Serenia. He lived and breathed politics and rank. Nothing, not even his own daughter, was more important than how he looked to the rest of the country. But now I’d never know for sure what his intentions were.

He never would have let Ivy go. Never.

As I stepped across the floor, trying not only to steady myself, but also to keep from making any sound that might alert Ivy, I talked myself into not shaking Ivy awake and begging her for any information about my father. He’d used me, but it was the only way he could have protected me too. My heart wanted to believe that deep down, somewhere inside his black soul, he loved me.

I crept past Ivy, her palms together, tucked under her pillow-less head. For a moment I felt sorry for her, but I quickly brushed it away. She was probably treated better up here than down below in my father’s dungeon. I’d spent time in there, a small amount of time, but enough to know that a room with carpets and fresh water far exceeded any hospitality he had offered to prisoners.

Moonlight broke through an errant cloud and I stood, surrounded by its unearthly glow. My stomach gurgled, but I didn’t feel a trace of nausea. I placed my hand over my abdomen and smiled. Perhaps I could beat the nausea after all.

I sat down on a plain wooden chair, flanked by the window and the small table. I poured a mug of water and relaxed into the back of the chair as the cool liquid streamed down my throat. I greedily took another drink. Building up my strength wouldn’t be easy, but I needed to be sure I was completely rehydrated. Anything less and I couldn’t perform at my best.

Staring out the window at the cloud that just uncovered the moon, I set the mug back on the table. No one could prove I’d been severed. Even though I’d rarely been able to call my gift, I needed to try again. I felt it; I felt something.

I steadied my breathing, in through the nose and out through the mouth, and focused on the cloud. It lazily floated across the blackened sky, illuminated only by the shine and sparkle of the moon. I stared at the cloud, my eyes slack and unfocused, willing a vision to come.

But there was nothing. I couldn’t reach inside to that part of me that held my gift. I could still feel it, coursing through me like a river, but I couldn’t quite grab a hold of it.

I sighed and placed my hand on my stomach again. For a moment, I wished for the nausea that always came hand-in-hand with my gift since I’d travelled to the Southern Kingdom. Again, nothing.

Pulling a blanket off the back of the chair, I wrapped it around my shoulders and snuggled into it. I knew by the chill in the air that I was home, back in the Northern Kingdom.

The Southern Kingdom had never seen snow. Krissin complained enough about moving the army north to what she called the “barren farthest reaches of civilization, blanketed by the most horrible cold white snow.” I tried to correct her, telling her that snow was the one thing I’d wanted to see most of my life, but never experienced due to my confinement.

Ivy once brought back a bucket filled with snow after an errand. We made snowballs and threw them at each other in the slave quarters until it melted into puddles of water. We laughed as we cleaned up the mess before the other slaves ventured back for the night. It was one of those moments I’d always believed Ivy and I had been closest. I glanced back at her on the floor and the expression on her face tugged at my heart.

We’d shared a bed as children and known each other’s deepest secrets. I remembered waking up in the middle of the night and memorizing each line on her face, knowing that it was the face of my best friend, my greatest ally. For so many years, Ivy was the only person I’d ever believed in, ever trusted. To have all of that thrown in my face so cruelly destroyed any love I had for her.

I shook my head, reminding myself of everything she’d done to me. I knew I couldn’t trust her. I knew it in my bones and in my heart. As a child, when nightmares plagued me deep in the night, I had woken up, scared and confused. Ivy held me in her arms and stroked my head. She told me everything would be okay, that the demons would never get close to me while she was around.

I just didn’t know it then that she was the demon and I couldn’t let myself forget it now. Reconciling the two had been easy when I was far away from Ivy. But now that she was here with me again, my resolve wavered for a moment. I let myself see the young girl who had brought me daisies and told me how it felt to walk in a rainstorm.

Right before she tried to marry my father, she told me she’d known for years that I was the Prophet and that Kandek was essentially holding me prisoner. She told me she’d used me. Jealousy drove her to pretend to be my friend, to get close to me so someday she could use me.

And she did. She ripped my world to pieces and nearly destroyed my friends. All because of jealousy over my gift. I was the Prophet and she wasn’t. If she knew the curse I’d suffered because of it, the weight I bore for a gift I’d never asked for, never wanted, maybe she would have felt differently. All of those moments we shared could have been the cement that kept us friends forever. Instead it was all a lie.

I had never considered Kandek’s castle my home. Ivy had been my home. She had been my anchor in a turbulent life. I’d defeated her once and now, here she was, asking me to trust her.

Never. If I did and she betrayed me again, the curse of my gift and its possibility of making me insane would be nothing compared to the anguish I would feel after another betrayal from Ivy.

I stood again and walked back to my bed. Staring out the window so late at night had hastened my exhaustion. I’d been asleep for so long, months if I believed Zuri and Ivy, that I had no desire to ever do it again. I laid my head on the pillow, feeling the comfort and softness of the goose feathers inside. I knew the tangy smell, I’d slept on them my whole life. There were no geese in the Southern Kingdom. Their pillows were made from scraps of cloth stuffed inside a case.

I snuggled into the pillow and glanced at the window again. I saw the clouds from bed. I squinted, trying one more time to bring on a vision.

I threw myself against the door to my cell in the dungeon. Sickening smells assaulted me from all directions and I tugged at my hair again, pulling out a clump. I threw it on the floor next to the others.

“Let me out of here!” I screamed, raging against the stone walls. Dragging my ragged fingernails down the stone wall and leaving a trail of blood in their wake, I wailed once more. “Let me out!”

I threw my back against the wall, and slowly, slid down to the floor, resting on my bottom. I glanced up at the small bars in the door and saw a pair of eyes staring at me. They were sad eyes, and eyes I recognized, but couldn’t place.

“I’ll let you out again when the madness subsides. It always does, Reychel. Please don’t forget. Please come back to us.”

I jolted up and pulled the covers up tight around my chin, fear creeping through my body. I’d gotten the vision I’d tried so hard for, but it wasn’t anything like the others. Was that really what I’d be like after the madness set in? Outside of the vision, I recognized those eyes. Mark’s. While in it, all I felt was the despair, the horror, the feeling of being undead and lost to myself. I couldn’t live with myself if that was my true future. I had to find a way to stop it.

As I drifted off, I noticed a small fluttering in my stomach. Of course I was nervous. Anyone would be after a vision like that. I repeated over and over to myself,
It’s not real. I can change it.

Chapter Twelve

The next morning I awoke to the smell of steamed porridge and freshly baked bread. I sat up slowly, the nausea back again. Ivy rushed over to my side with a chunk of bread in her hand.

“Here, eat this before you get up. It’ll make you feel better.”

I nodded and smiled, pushing away the turmoil of my thoughts from the night before. I resolved to pretend to trust Ivy. I needed to. Even if she was a snake, she was my only ally. If it was true that she was also being held captive, we might be able to trust each other long enough to escape.

Ripping off a bite of bread with my teeth, I let it soak in my mouth before chewing it. Ivy was right. It did help my nausea abate somewhat, at least enough that I could push myself up to a seated position.

“Here’s some water too.” She shoved it into my hand and bit sloshed on my covers. “Oh, I’m sorry Reychel. I didn’t mean to do that.”

Ivy ran to the other side of the room and grabbed a striped hand woven towel. She raced back and dabbed my covers. I put my hand on hers and gently pulled it off. She was too close to touching me. I wouldn’t let her, not even with a blanket between her hand and my knee.

She looked up at me, a question in her eyes, then looked back at the wet spot. “I was almost touching you.”

I nodded, taking a bite of the bread. “You promised you wouldn’t. Remember? If you want me to trust you, then you have to be more aware. You have to think about how your every move will affect me.”

“I’m so sorry Reychel. Really, I didn’t mean to do it.”

I didn’t like the Ivy who stood before me, her eyes wide with innocence. I didn’t believe it for a moment. Even before I knew she’d been lying to me, she’d never behaved this way. I had to figure out what her game was before she set a plan into motion. If I wasn’t a step ahead of her, then I might not win. Losing wasn’t an option.

I thought of Mark and our bond. I’d fight every day for the rest of my life to get it back. Once I had it, I couldn’t imagine going on without it. And then there was Krissin, one of the greatest annoyances in my life. She meant well, she just had a terrible way of showing it. She was the closest I’d come to a true friend since leaving behind Ella, the only other slave who’d shown me kindness at my father’s castle.

I had too much to live for now, too many people who wanted me in their lives.

“It’s okay.” The lie slipped off my tongue so easily that even I was shocked. It wasn’t even close to okay, but what else could I say?

“Zuri said they’re going to kill me. What was she talking about?” I asked, changing the subject.

Ivy grabbed the chair next to the window and set it down next to my bed. She sat down, crossing her arms over her chest.

“They are going to use you as an example to break up the war.”

“So she’s going to counter what my people did to me? They asked me to go along with their scheme to rally more support. Now Zuri and her people are going to do the opposite to crush them.”

“At least your people only pretended you were dead. I doubt Alia will be so kind.”

“Alia?” I asked, suddenly very curious what Ivy knew. “She’s here?”

Ivy shoved a chunk of bread into her mouth and nodded. I waited for her to finish chewing and swallow a gulp of water. “Alia’s running this whole thing. Zuri’s just one of the people she controls. Everything Zuri says and does comes directly from Alia.”