The Sleeping Salesman Enquiry (17 page)

T
hirty-three

ELVIS SAW HIS
passengers safely back in Springfields, and was about to drive off when he noticed a piece of folded paper tucked under his rear windscreen wiper. He got out again, slid it from underneath the wiper and unfolded it. The message was in red ink capitals, and he read it with a sinking heart.

TO IVY BEASLEY. DO WHAT YOUR TOLD, OR NEXT TIME THERE WONT BE NO RESCUE. NO MORE BANS, OR ELSE!

Elvis took the piece of paper between thumb and forefinger and walked back into Springfields reception. He held the paper out of sight, and asked Miss Pinkney, who was on duty, if she had the address for Mr. Halfhide, friend of Ivy and Roy. Always anxious to be helpful, she quickly found the number and Elvis left. He did not want either Ivy or Roy to see him returning into reception, and was quickly in his taxi and making his way round the Green into Hangman’s Lane.

Miriam Blake was in her front garden, and saw the taxi arriving outside Gus’s cottage. Why would he want a taxi? He had his own car now, and that was parked up the end of the row, under the trees. She was sure he was at home, and knelt down to attack nonexistent weeds, so that she was in earshot of a conversation.

Gus looked out of his window and saw Elvis. He had met him once or twice up at Springfields, and went quickly to the door, hoping nothing was wrong.

“Can I come in a minute, sir?” Elvis said. “It’s to do with your friend, Miss Beasley.”

“Ivy? Nothing wrong, I hope.”

“Dunno, yet.”

“Well, come in, come in.” Gus ushered him into his small living room, and out of the corner of his eye noticed Miriam standing close to the low garden wall. “Now, what is this all about?”

Elvis silently handed the paper to Gus, and watched him read it and heard him groan.

“Oh no. Not another one. Where did you find it?”

Elvis then gave him a detailed account of what had happened at Maleham’s, and said he had noticed the message only when he was leaving Springfields.

“But what a horrible thing for Ivy and Roy to go through! Trapped between floors in a lift!”

“With no light nor nothing,” said Elvis.

“So how are they? And have they seen this horrible thing?” He threw the paper onto a small table by the fire and motioned to Elvis to sit down.

Elvis perched on the edge of a rickety dining chair, and said that he thought they’d had enough shocks for one day, and that was why he had decided to bring the message down to Gus. “You said something about another one, Mr. Halfhide,” he said. “This is not the first, then?”

Gus shook his head. “There’s something very nasty happening, I’m afraid. All because Ivy and Roy are intending to marry.”

“That’ll be about money, then,” said Elvis wisely. “It’s always money. Root of all evil, an’ that.”

“Anyway,” said Gus, “I’ll keep it for the moment and have a serious think about what to do.”

“Don’t forget them banns are due to be given a second reading tomorrow, Mr. Halfhide. I should bring in the police, if I was you.”

“We already have, Elvis. They’re on the case. But if you think of anything useful, you can always tell us. Enquire Within is working flat out to find out what’s going on.”

“Just don’t let the vicar call them banns; that’s all I’m saying. Now I’ll be off. Thanks, Mr. Halfhide. They mean quite a lot to me, those old things, actually.”

“We’ll be on our guard,” said Gus, opening his front door. “And don’t forget, you can call me day or night.”

Elvis was about to get into his taxi, when he turned back. “There was one thing,” he said. “Did Miss Beasley or Mr. Goodman tell you about that bloke I picked up in the taxi? Resembled the man who challenged the banns. Well, when I got out of the taxi to go and find them in Maleham’s, I could swear I saw him again, coming out of the back of the store. O’ course, there’s lots of men wear earrings an’ that, but he sort of swaggered, if you know what I mean. Might be worth following up.”

• • •

“DEIRDRE? GUS HERE.
Can I come up and see you for a bit? Something important has come up.”

“Oh Gus, I’m sorry. I’m due up at the Hall for a drink with Theo.”

“Cancel it. This really is important, Deirdre. And time is of the essence.”

Silence. Then Deirdre said that in that case he should come up to Tawny Wings straight away, and she would put off her drink with the squire. “He’s lonely; that’s all. And I can go up later. Come up and we’ll have a scratch lunch.”

Gus fixed Whippy’s lead, and set off. Miriam was still in her garden, and she greeted him warmly. “Supper tonight, Gus?” she called. “Rabbit pie with roast potatoes, and spotted dick for pudding!”

Gus smothered an impulse to give her a ribald answer, and explained that he might not be back in time.

“Well, if you are, just come in,” she shouted.

“She’s unsquashable, Whippy,” he muttered, and the little dog put her ears back in reply.

• • •

“NOW, AUGUSTUS, WHAT’S
so important? Something new to do with Alf, or Ivy and Roy?” Deirdre ushered him into her warm sitting room.

In answer, Gus handed her the message. “Stuck under a windscreen wiper on Elvis’s taxi.”

“Oh my God, now what? Has Ivy seen this, or Roy?”

“No, Elvis brought it straight to me. Those two have had a nasty experience today, stuck in a lift, and he thought this might be the last straw.”

“And it’s Sunday tomorrow. Well, I can give you my opinion straight away. We get hold of Ba—Frobisher, and hand it over to him. Meanwhile . . . Well, meanwhile what?”

“One of us must talk to Rev. Dorothy, and tell her all about it. Then I’m sure she will agree to postpone the banns. She’ll think of something.”

“Maybe invent one or two church rules about banns that have been challenged?”

“So, will you come with me?”

“What, now?”

“No time like the present,” said Gus. “Come on, Whippy. If nothing else, we shall find out whether the Reverend Dorothy is a dog-lover.”

“She can stay here, if you like. We’ll probably be coming back here?”

Gus, thinking that this would be one in the eye for Roussel, agreed.

T
hirty-four

“SHE’S MUCH TOO
attractive to be a reverend,” whispered Deirdre, as Dorothy hailed them from the bottom of her garden. Tall and willowy, and with the stiff white collar of her office, which she miraculously made attractive, the lady under discussion smiled broadly and said how pleased she was to see them, and what could she do to help?

“It’s about Miss Beasley and Mr. Goodman,” explained Gus, with his most winning smile. “I believe their banns will be called for the second time tomorrow?”

Dorothy nodded. “We’ve been unable to trace that man who ran off from the vestry,” she said. “I can only think it was a practical joke, though it was very far from funny! So, yes, I intend to go ahead. Is there a problem?”

Gus explained, and brought out the message. “This is the second message we’ve received,” he said. “I am sure you’re right, and it’s just some idiot’s idea of a joke, but I am not prepared to risk it.” He had no idea what he would say if she asked what exactly he would do to prevent it, but hoped that he sounded authoritative enough.

Dorothy stared down at the paper in her hand. “I must say I agree with you, Mr. Halfhide,” she said slowly, “and I presume you will hand this to the police straight away? Do I understand that Miss Beasley and Mr. Goodman know nothing about this second message? And if so, are you going to tell them?”

Deirdre spoke up. “I see no point in worrying them with it. We can surely think up some reason why the banns can’t be called tomorrow, without giving them another horrible shock?”

Dorothy replied that in her opinion Miss Beasley was more or less shockproof. “And surely if Enquire Within is still working on the case, you’ll have to tell the other two?”

“She’s right,” Gus said to Deirdre. “Shall we ask them up to Tawny Wings for supper tonight, and break it to them after a glass or two of wine?”

“Ivy’s teetotal, she always says, though she frequently breaks the rules,” Deirdre said. “And anyway, what shall I do about the squire?”

“Mr. Roussel?” said Dorothy, looking puzzled. “Does he come into this somewhere?”

“Not at all,” said Gus firmly. “He is of no importance whatsoever.”

• • •

AFTER SOME HESITATION
on the part of Miss Pinkney, who, though quite happy for Gus to pick up Ivy and Roy and take them to Tawny Wings for supper, was worried in case Mrs. Spurling should look in last thing to check that everyone was safe and sound. Then Ivy settled the matter by saying that she was not a prisoner in Springfields, and would be ready to deal with Mrs. Spurling if the question should arise.

• • •

“COME ON IN,”
said Deirdre, as they arrived. “I’ve rustled up something rather special for supper, but let’s have a drink first and relax.”

Ivy’s eyebrows were raised. “I am perfectly relaxed, Deirdre,” she said. “As far as I am aware, we have no reason to be otherwise. But I know Roy likes a small whisky around now, and I am partial to a sweet sherry. Thank you very much for inviting us. A nice surprise, wasn’t it, Roy?”

“I think so,” he replied slowly. “Though I can’t help wondering if Gus and Deirdre have something to tell us? Maybe something unpleasant?”

Gus and Deirdre exchanged looks. No fooling the old man, then. “We might as well tell them and get it over with. Then we can enjoy supper,” said Deirdre.

Gus reluctantly took out the now-crumpled piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to Ivy.

“Oh dear me, not another missive from my well-wisher,” she said calmly, and read it out to Roy in a perfectly steady voice.

Roy, on the other hand, looked quite nervous, and as Ivy was moving towards the fire, obviously about to consign the message to the flames, he put out a hand to stop her.

“Give it to me, dearest,” he said. “I think we should hand it over to Inspector Frobisher. He would not be pleased to hear we had destroyed it.”

“Quite right,” said Gus, and rescued it from Roy to return it to his pocket. “I shall be going into Thornwell on Monday and will drop it at the police station.”

“So the banns will be called again tomorrow? I really see no reason to pander to this lunatic.” Ivy’s face was red with annoyance, and her voice sharp.

“Well, actually,” said Deirdre, clearing her throat, “apparently there are still one or two formalities regarding the challenge to sort out. We met Rev. Dorothy, and she explained. Should be fine by next week.”

“That’s right,” said Gus. “Nothing to worry about, though. Now, how about those drinks, Deirdre? Would you like me to do the honours?”

• • •

AFTER IVY AND
Roy had been taken back to Springfields, Gus collected Whippy from Deirdre and made his way home. He parked his car, and walked back to his cottage. To his dismay, he saw a figure, unmistakeably Miriam, waiting for him by the front door.

“Augustus Halfhide!” she said, when he was close. “This is the end! All those times you have eaten my food, and asked me to mind Whippy, and dozens of other favours, and you haven’t even the decency to let know you wouldn’t be back for supper! I repeat, this is end of our relationship. Find yourself another slave! Good night!”

“But Miriam, my dear, I remember you offering supper, but I didn’t say yes or no, and you said ‘just come in.’ Isn’t that right?”

She stood in front of his door, arms akimbo. “Trust you to twist the truth!” she said fiercely, not budging.

“It is the truth,” Gus replied mildly. “And I am rather tired, if you wouldn’t mind allowing me to go into my house. I am sure we can sort all this out in the morning. You know I value your friendship highly, and would never have knowingly hurt your feelings.” He sighed, and wondered if he had gone an encouraging step too far.

Miriam stood silently for a moment, then, like a deflating balloon, put a swift forgiving kiss on his cheek, and moved to one side. “Oh, all right, then,” she said. “Let’s forget all about it. Rabbit pie’s still edible, and what’s more you can eat it!” She laughed, pleased with the old joke.

He nodded, patted her on the shoulder and moved to unlock his door.

“Oh, and by the way, you had a visitor. Big bloke, with a bald head. I didn’t go outside, though he looked vaguely familiar. Starting to grow a beard, or fashionable stubble. One or the other. He knocked and knocked, but of course you were not there, and he finally went away, looking furious. I would have gone out to help, but it was nearly dark by then and, as I said, he was a big bloke.”

“Did you notice if he had an earring?” said Gus urgently.

“No, of course not. I said it was nearly dark. Anyway, why shouldn’t he have an earring? Lots of men do. Can’t say I approve, but I’m old-fashioned, I suppose.”

“What time was this?”

“Not sure. Sometime after the six o’clock news. Why, anyway? Was he important? Should I have gone out?”

“No to all those questions. Now, off to bed, Miriam. I look forward to rabbit pie lunch tomorrow. Night-night, love.”

Miriam went off very happily to bed, and dreamt that a big man wearing diamond drop earrings was holding her hostage, and Gus came along to rescue her, declaring she was the only one for him.