The Sleeping Army (12 page)

Heaped on the floor were gleaming swords, shining shields, gold arm rings and brooches, axes with jewelled handles and ash spears inlaid with silver.

Snot pushed past him and started stuffing his knapsack with as much gold as he could scoop up. Alfi and Roskva fell upon the hoard as well, filling their pockets.

Freya hesitated. Just one of those gold arm rings or brooches must be worth … was it stealing, to steal from a giant? Especially a giant who had stolen Idunn?

‘Stop – you're stealing …' began Freya.

The others ignored her. Alfi looked at her, surprised.

‘This isn't stealing,' he said. ‘We're plundering an enemy.'

‘Doesn't your father go raiding?' said Roskva, stuffing arm rings into her pouch.

‘No!' said Freya.

‘How do you gain wealth then?' said Alfi.

Not by being an inner-city priestess like Clare or
working at the British museum like Bob, thought Freya. The memory of her parents bit into her heart.

‘You get a job … and you work.'

‘Like on a farm?' said Alfi. ‘No one gets rich working on a farm. My parents barely had a cauldron and an oak chest. Oh, if they could see all this!'

Roskva grabbed a sword and tucked it into her belt. Then she handed Freya a long sword attached to a leather strap. ‘Take this. You may need it.'

Freya stared at the sword, covered in runic inscriptions, heavy and warm in her hand. It was so leaden she could barely lift it. What would she do with a sword except trip over it? She set it back down on the heap of weapons.

‘Come on, we're looking for Idunn, we don't have time to waste,' said Freya, leaving the hoard. Had the gold made them forget that almost half their bodies were now mottled ivory?

‘Freya's right,' said Alfi, grabbing one last brooch as he followed her. ‘We can always come back for more.'

They continued searching the entire storm-hall, every room, every chest, but there was no sign of Idunn or her apples.

‘She's not here,' said Alfi, striving to be heard above the whistling wind.

‘Idunn!' shouted Roskva. ‘Idunn! It's Roskva. Are you here?' Her voice echoed eerily in the vast hall.

Freya felt hideously disappointed. What had she expected, to find Idunn sitting at a loom or tending to a fire? She realised she'd been hoping against hope that somehow it would all turn out right.

‘Let's get some food,' said Roskva. Her teeth chattered. ‘I'm starving. Then we must decide what to do.'

‘Kill the giant,' snarled Snot.

Fat lot of good that will do, thought Freya.

The table was far too high to reach, so Alfi grabbed a fishing rod, scrambled up on to a bench and swept the table to knock down whatever was on it. A massive loaf of barley bread and a bowl of curds and whey flopped to the floor. They fell on the food. After the berries and the rotten oat cakes and the tree sap it tasted like heaven. Freya felt like Goldilocks. I should wash my – oh forget it, she thought, shovelling bread into her mouth. I'll be dead soon, I can live a little.

There was a fluttering sound.

‘Look!' hissed Roskva. ‘Oh look!' She pointed to the beam high above their heads. A mass of feathers hung over it, ruffling in the wind.

It was a falcon skin. It shimmered and glimmered,
the feathers flecked with gold and blue.

‘That's Freyja's falcon skin,' said Alfi. ‘I'd know it anywhere.'

‘It means Loki was definitely here,' said Roskva, beaming. ‘Freyja loaned it to him to fly here. He can't change into a bird: only to earth-bound creatures.'

‘Then why would he leave the falcon skin behind?' said Freya.

Roskva shrugged. ‘Something obviously happened to him here. There's no way he would abandon it. Maybe he left in a hurry. Maybe Thjazi killed him.'

‘Maybe he froze to death,' said Alfi.

‘Quick, let's get it down,' said Roskva. ‘Freya can fly up to it.'

What? thought Freya.
Fly?

The ground began to shake. There was a THUD! And then another. And another.

‘Oh Gods, he's back! Hide!' said Roskva.

Snot bristled.

‘I'm not hiding,' he growled. ‘A berserk doesn't
hide
.'

‘Shut up and hide!' ordered Roskva. ‘Or we'll all die.'

Snot hesitated, then slipped into the storeroom off to the side. ‘I'll kill him later,' he muttered.

The others barely had time to duck behind barrels
before a giant stomped in, carrying huge buckets of speared fish, entrails and guts.

‘That's not Thjazi,' murmured Alfi. Freya could scarcely breathe. The giant was wearing a coat of mail, a battered helmet, and carried a sword and an enormous round shield emblazoned with eagles gnawing at a corpse. He took off the helmet and armour and shook out tangled frizzy green hair. Freya gasped.

It wasn't a he. It was a she. The ugliest hag Freya had ever seen, with small, squinting, bloodshot eyes and a hideous wart-covered face. Great bands of fat swelled around her middle. Her arms bulged out of her tunic sleeves. Her thighs were like tree trunks. Her short dress was far too tight. Freya had a horrible feeling she wasn't wearing any underwear.

The giantess lifted her leg and farted loudly. A terrible stink hung over the room. Freya covered her nose and tried not to breathe.

The disgusting creature picked up a vast drinking horn and gulped. She drank, and drank, and drank, the liquid pouring down her face and slopping onto the floor. She belched and wiped her dripping mouth with her sleeve.

Then she sniffed the air.

‘Snugglebum? Snugglebum? Is that you?'

They froze.

The giantess continued sniffing. A huge smile gashed her face and she punched the air with her hairy fist.

‘You've come back for me at last, my little snugglechops!' she cooed. ‘You certainly took your time. But your itty-bitty Skadi-Waddi isn't mad. Come on out and show yourself. No need to be shy! Daddy's not at home. Just your darling Skadi!'

No one moved. Freya thought she would pass out. Thjazi had a daughter. A daughter. Now they had
two
giants to deal with.

‘I can smell you, you know,' said the giantess, primping and running her thick fingers through her bristly hair. ‘Why don't you come out from the storeroom and give your little Skadi a kiss? Or do I have to come and
get
you?'

Reluctantly, Roskva, Alfi, and Freya came out from behind their barrels and stood trembling at the storeroom's entrance. After a moment, Snot joined them, hand on his sword. Next to the giantess, even he looked puny as she loomed over them, glowering.

‘If she attacks, use the love charm,' muttered Freya.

Snot went ashen.

‘I'll kill her first,' he spat.

Skadi's face fell.

‘Oh,' she said. ‘Oh. You're not him. You're just thieves. How dare you, you lousy, stinking—' she drew her sword. Roskva, Alfi, and Snot drew theirs.

‘No!' said Alfi. ‘Wait! We're not thieves. We're …'

‘No one comes here!' bellowed Skadi, advancing towards them. ‘No one. Who are you and what are you doing in my house?'

‘Tell her, Roskva,' said Alfi, quaking.

Roskva glared at her brother.

‘We're Thor's bondservants,' said Roskva. Her voice was shaking. ‘The door was open so we came in to wait for you.'

Skadi looked confused. ‘Thor's bondservants?
Thor?
Then you've come from … Asgard?'

Roskva nodded.

Skadi's face lit up. ‘Was Loki there? Have you seen him?'

Huh?

Roskva hesitated.

‘No,' said Roskva.

Skadi's face sagged. Freya held her breath. Should Roskva have lied and said yes?

‘Why are you here?' roared Skadi. She glowered.
‘Thor hates giants.'

Snot gripped his sword and stepped towards her.

‘Back off or I'll kill you!' he bellowed.

‘Use – the – charm!' hissed Freya.

‘We're here … we're here …' began Roskva.

‘We're here because Thor's looking for a wife,' said Freya. She had no idea how that thought popped into her head.

Skadi snorted and lowered her sword a fraction.

‘He's got a wife,' said Skadi. ‘That old salmon-faced Sif.'

‘Not for himself,' said Roskva. ‘For one of his handsome sons.'

‘Which one?' said Skadi.

‘Magni,' said Alfi. ‘The strong one.'

‘The giantess Jarnsaxa's son,' said Roskva. ‘He's gorgeous.'

Skadi's eyes gleamed.

‘Well, well, well. What bride gifts have you brought?'

Gifts? Gifts? They exchanged looks.

Alfi took off a gold arm band and held it out.

Skadi laughed. Her laugh was like a fox shrieking in the night.

‘Is that a jest?' she said coldly. ‘I don't like jests. Magni must have offered something better than a bent
old bracelet to tempt me. What else?' Her voice was steel.

Freya swallowed.

Did they dare offer her one of her own gold brooches and pray Thor she wouldn't recognise it as her own? Because if she did …

Freya fumbled in her pocket.

‘I've brought something for you, something precious and rare,' she said, taking out the KitKat and sliding it across the floor towards Skadi.

‘Stay back,' ordered Skadi. ‘What is it?' she asked, snatching it and sniffing the red wrapper. Her greedy eyes gleamed.

‘It's called chocolate,' said Freya.

‘Choc-o-late,' said Skadi, rolling the word round her mouth.

‘The food of the Gods,' said Freya. ‘It makes you happy.'

‘How do I know it's not poisoned?' said Skadi, baring her gangrene-green teeth.

‘I'll eat some,' said Freya quickly.

Skadi stuffed the entire bar into her mouth, wrapper and all.

‘Delicious,' she mumbled. ‘Especially the skin. What else?'

Freya reached again into her pocket. The dead mobile phone would be useless. She held out the quacking duck keyring and squeezed.

Quack!

Everyone jumped. The little light glowed.

Skadi gasped. Freya slid it towards the giantess.

‘Some elf magic here …' murmured Skadi, marvelling at the tiny light. ‘There's fire inside … I've never seen anything like it …'

Skadi squeezed the keyring.
Quack! Quack! Quack!
Everyone jumped again.

‘You better –'
Quack!
– ‘leave before Dad gets home. He doesn't –'
Quack!
–‘like visitors,' said Skadi. ‘In fact, he usually –'
Quack!
– ‘eats them.'
Quack! Quack! Quack!

‘Umm …' said Roskva, her eyes fixed nervously on Skadi. ‘What do you think of our Master's proposal? You and Magni – is it a match?'

Skadi paused.

‘You're too late,' she growled. ‘I'm already betrothed.'

‘Why didn't you say so before you ate my chocolate?' burst out Freya.

‘Who's the lucky guy?' said Alfi.

Skadi simpered.

‘Loki.'

Freya stiffened. Roskva's face didn't change.

‘Oh! Great! I'm sure you'll both be very happy,' said Roskva.

‘Yes,' said Skadi, sighing. ‘We were made for each other.'

‘So … where's Loki now?' said Roskva carelessly. ‘I'd like to congratulate him.'

Skadi glared at Roskva. Her hideous face turned green and purple.

‘D'you think if I knew that I'd be standing here talking to you?' roared Skadi. Freya felt weak with fear.

Skadi began to stomp up and down the Hall, the floor shaking with every clomp.

‘Where is he? Where can he be?' howled Skadi. ‘I want a husband!' Her angry red eyes flashed. ‘I'm sick of living with Dad and I'm certainly not getting any younger. We've eaten all the apples and—' she broke off. ‘Loki said he'd marry me and make me a goddess if I gave him Idunn. We'd live half in Asgard, and half here. Obviously, when you have such a lovely home like Thrymheim you wouldn't want to leave it behind forever.'

‘Obviously,' said Alfi.

‘We were getting ready to run off together when Dad came home early,' said Skadi. ‘Loki ran, Dad chased him, but thanks to fate Loki got away. He
swore he'd come back for me as soon as he could. And I've been waiting for him ever since.'

‘So he just ran off with Idunn and left you?' said Roskva. ‘Typical.'

Skadi stared at her. ‘What do you think I am, crazy? Of course he doesn't have Idunn. I—' Skadi brought her hand to her mouth.

‘Where is she then?' said Freya.

Skadi looked at her with narrow eyes.

‘None of your beeswax,' said Skadi.

Where? Where could Idunn be? They'd searched the entire storm-hall. Was there a hidden room or cellar where she was imprisoned? Had she escaped somehow?

‘I've been waiting and waiting and waiting,' moaned Skadi. ‘Aching with love-longing. Getting old. Getting fat. When I heard noises in the Hall I thought it was my Loki … at last. He'll come back. I know he will. He loves me, he's crazy about me. He says my chunky thighs and bristly chin drive him wild. He loves a warty girl. We're getting married just as soon as he returns. He swore an oath.'

‘You know Loki already has a wife?' said Roskva.

Skadi grew pale.

‘What?' she whispered.

‘Loki has a wife,' said Roskva. ‘Sigyn.'

Skadi looked as if she'd been punched in the face. She reeled back.

‘You're lying,' hissed Skadi.

‘Why would I lie?' said Roskva.

Skadi shook her head. ‘Why would you lie? Why would you lie? A wife? A wife? What does she look like?'

‘She's gorgeous,' said Roskva.

‘She makes Freyja look like a shrivelled old radish,' said Alfi.

‘Sif looks like a cabbage next to her,' said Roskva.