The Sisters Weiss (37 page)

“Rivkaleh, what have you done?” Zevulun said hoarsely. To their utter astonishment, he sat down on a chair and began to weep uncontrollably like a child, his body heaving with heavy sobs.

Rose stared at him, appalled, realizing for the first time what he must have been through. She felt her anger toward him dissipate.

“Tateh!” Rivka cried, releasing herself from her mother’s embrace and sitting on the floor near him, leaning her head against his knees. He wiped his eyes and stroked her hair. “Rivkaleh, Rivkaleh…” he repeated, dirgelike. “Why?”

Rose could see that whatever resolve had lately strengthened the kid had now fled. She was a helpless shell. She wondered which Rivka she preferred? The determined modern girl who was ready for her abortion and her new life, or this wounded, chastised child with no will of her own at all?

“I didn’t mean to hurt you, Tateh, Mameh,” the girl wept.

“Why did you do this to us? Were you unhappy, maideleh? Did we demand things you didn’t want to do?” Zevulun asked his daughter gently.

“I don’t know,” she answered.

Rose shook her head, appalled, thinking: This is even worse than an abortion. She’s aborting herself, whatever new life she envisioned for herself. She’s in over her head and she’s deliberately opening up her mouth, breathing in water, drowning.

“It is time to come home, maideleh. Whatever you have done, we will begin again, and God will forgive us both.”

With that, Rivka straightened up. She wiped her eyes and stared at the wall. And then, suddenly, she turned an imploring gaze toward Rose.

Rose cleared her throat. “Before you make any arrangements for the future, there is something you need to take into consideration.”

“Was I talking to you?” Zevulun asked her threateningly. “Why do you think you have something to say? That you have a right to butt in, to put your nose in our business? This is our daughter, our family…”

“Zevulun Meir!” Pearl cried sharply. “Let my sister speak. Go on, Rose.”

“Rivka has something she needs to tell you,” Rose said quickly, offended, deciding to let her niece fend for herself for the moment.

“Please, Aunt Rose…” Rivka begged.

“What? What is it you need to tell us?” Zevulun demanded.

“Whatever it is, there is always repentance,” Pearl chimed in hurriedly.

“Oh, Aunt Rose, please!”

Just then, the door to the office swung open. Hannah walked in. She was dressed in tight jeans, an NYU T-shirt, and a leather jacket with lots of zippers.

There was a moment of tense silence as everyone turned to stare at her.

“My daughter, Hannah,” Rose said awkwardly.

“What did I miss?” Hannah said calmly, breezing into the room, giving Pearl and Zevulun a casual glance, her eyebrows raised when they did nothing to acknowledge her presence.

“So, she told you she’s pregnant?” Hannah asked them abruptly, annoyed. “And what do you plan to do about it?”

“Hannah!” Rose called out, too late.

It started as a cry, then rolled into a roar of anger and grief. Zevulun got up, slamming his hand into the wall. Pearl began to wail.

The door opened, Michelle sticking her head in. “Is everything all right?”

Rose quickly went to the door, pushing Michelle gently outside, whispering urgently in her ear, “Call security!”

“Oh my God! Rivkaleh, it can’t be true, can it?” Pearl asked, devastated, studying her daughter’s stomach.

Rivka stood up stiffly with a sudden defiance that was spilling starch into her backbone, Rose noticed, relieved. “Yes, it’s true!”

“This is your doing!” Zevulun shouted at Rose. “A shiksa, a prutza, dirties everything she touches. It wasn’t enough to kill your own parents, now you have to destroy us also!”

Rose backed away, alarmed, then stopped, standing her ground. “I know that you never studied biology, Zevulun, but surely you know it wasn’t me that got her pregnant.”

He roared, advancing toward her in fury. Pearl held him back. “Zevulun, sit down!”

He sank into his chair again, breathing heavily.

“Listen, I’ve had just about all I can take of this,” Hannah cried. “Why don’t you say something, Rivka? Why are you letting my mother, who was so kind to you, take the rap for something you did?”

“It’s not her fault, Tateh!” Rivka burst out. “I did this. Only me.”

“You are a child. You didn’t know any better.”

“I’m not a child. You were trying to marry me off, remember?”

“Is that the reason you ran, because you didn’t want to get married? He was such a fine boy! You would have been lucky to have him!”

“Yes, he was. He’s not the reason. I wanted a different life! Something of my own. I wanted to live, not just go from being someone’s child to being someone’s wife. I wanted a chance to be me first!”

“Me? Such narishkeit! Goyish narishkeit!” Zevulun said.

“Why? Why is it foolish, Gentile nonsense?” she answered her father. “Can’t a girl be a human being? Can’t she try to be somebody?”

“Who do you want to be?” Pearl asked her.

“I don’t know yet.”

“Me, me, all the time, me! But she doesn’t even know who that is!” her father scoffed, snorting derisively.

“How could you forget everything we taught you? How could you sin like this?” Pearl exhorted.

“She didn’t forget. She even went to the mikveh!” Hannah burst out.

A sudden transformation came over Zevulun. His swollen, clenched face fell into smoother lines. “Is this true?” he asked his daughter with sudden calm. “Did you go to the mikveh, Rivkaleh?”

“Yes, I did. I didn’t want to sin. And the boy, he is Jewish and not married. It’s not so terrible,” she pleaded.

“She went to the mikveh,” Zevulun said to Pearl, who reached out and held his hand. “The child will not be a ben-niddah. It will be pure.”

“Oh, so that’s the point, right? Well, there isn’t going to be any child!” Rivka shouted. “I’m going to get rid of it.”

Zevulun reached out for her swiftly. “Never!” he said, grabbing her by the shoulders in a painful grip. “To fornicate is one thing, but to shed innocent blood, it is unforgivable!”

“No, Rivka! Your father is right! We must talk about this. Come home with us for just a few days, just so we can talk this over,” Pearl begged. “There are other ways, better ways…”

“I am not going anywhere with you! I know what will happen! You’ll drug me, and send me off to some loony bin until the baby is born, and then you’ll give it away…”

“Maybe that is not such a bad idea!” Zevulun roared. “You are talking crazy, acting crazy.”

“I am not crazy because I want a different life.”

“You said yourself you don’t even know what you want! You are a farshimmelt child. Come home!” Pearl pleaded.

“Don’t beg her, Mameh. If she has any Torah left in her, she will not disrespect her parents! You know what the punishment is for that?” he said shaking her. “God will shorten your life!”

All this time, Rose hung back helplessly. It was a family tragedy, and something that had nothing at all to do with her. But this was a bit much. “Wait a minute, Zevulun. Take your hands off her! And don’t try to blackmail her with fire and brimstone. Let her breathe. Let her think!”

“I’m telling you for the last time, shiksa, stay out of this!” Zevulun warned Rose threateningly.

“Hey, you can’t talk to my mother like that! And leave Rivka be. Who do you think you are?” Hannah said, pulling his hands off the girl and standing belligerently between him and her mother.

“How dare you touch me!” he screamed at Hannah. “Oh, so the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. It was you who taught my daughter your whoring ways, and now you tell her to defy her parents?”

“I’m not telling her anything. And frankly, I don’t care what she does. She’s been nothing but a pain in the butt since she turned up on my doorstep. But this isn’t a Mafia movie, and you aren’t dragging anybody away to do who knows what…”

He grabbed Rivka’s hand. “You are coming home now!”

Pearl grabbed the other. “Yes, it is for the best, Rivka. You’ll see; we’ll sort it all out,” she pleaded.

There was a knock on the door. “Security!”

Rose opened the door. “Is everything all right in here, ma’am?”

“This has NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU!” Zevulun screamed at the guard, suddenly beside himself, as he lunged at the door. “This is MY child, and she is coming home with me, before anything else happens to her!”

The guard began to draw his gun from the holster.

Zevulun and Pearl stared at it, momentarily cowed, but not defeated. Zevulun dropped Rivka’s hand. Pearl did the same. The girl massaged her wrists.

“It’s all right, John. This is my family. It will be all right.” Rose intervened.

“Okay, if you’re sure,” he said, putting the gun back inside his holster and staring at Zevulun. “But I’ll be right outside the door, ma’am.”

Zevulun sat down again, squeezing his hands in anguish. He spoke slowly and deliberately. “Rivka, I am your father. I am asking you to please come home just so we can talk this over among the family. Are you willing to do that? Please, for the love of God!”

“Yes, my darling child. Listen to your father. He and I want only the best for you. We love you! Haven’t we always spoiled you, given you everything? We’ll take care of you, Rivka. You can repent your sins, and wash them as white as snow.”

Rivka looked from one to the other, her eyes wild, two bright spots of color in her cheeks.

Rose cleared her throat. “Think about it, Rivka. It is not easy being cut off from your family. I know.”

“Mom?” Hannah gasped, flabbergasted.

“You have no idea what it’s like to be alone like that, Hannah!”

Rivka flashed Rose an inscrutable look.

“You see, even your aunt agrees,” Pearl urged her, nodding at Rose gratefully. “Come, Rivkaleh. I’ll make you your favorite foods. And we’ll visit with your brothers and sisters and see the children. No one has to know.”

“Are you coming or not?” Zevulun broke in, gripping his knees. “Will you respect your parents’ wishes after all you’ve put them through?”

All eyes turned to the shaken girl, who stood leaning against the wall, her eyes red, her mouth a clear, thin, determined line.

“No,” she said.

There was silence.

Zevulun rose to his feet. He turned to look at her, wincing. “Better I should have heard you were dead than to see what you have become! Come, Pearl. We will go now.”

“No, don’t go yet,” Rose begged her sister. But Pearl shook her head, following silently behind her husband. They opened the door, walking past the guard, whose arms were folded over his chest. He followed them to the elevator, riding down with them, ensuring that they left the building.

“I’ll go after them,” Rose said.

“What for, Aunt Rose?” Rivka asked, astonished.

“Because they didn’t mean those terrible things they said. In their own way, they care about you, Rivka!”

“Who are you kidding, Mom? They are exactly the way you described your family to me years ago when I asked you why you weren’t in touch. Do you remember what you said?”

“Actually, I don’t.”

“You said, ‘To them, children aren’t people. They are nachas-machines. And there is no warranty. Whenever they break down and stop producing things for parents to be proud of, they get thrown away. Only if they show signs they can be repaired to start working again are they let back into the house.’”

“I’m permanently broken, Aunt.” Rivka smiled.

“It’s not a joke, Rivka! Being permanently cut off from your family is not a joke.”

The smile slowly faded from her young face. “This is not up to me, Aunt!”

“I have to agree with her, Mom. Anyhow, if there is nothing else, I have to get back to class.” Hannah lied, anxious to get away. Rivka’s anguished cry, “Can’t a girl be a human being?” echoed inside her, more disturbing than she could bear to acknowledge …

She thought of the women she was researching for her thesis on nineteenth-century Jewish women’s literature, women who had bolted traditional family life only to find that the enlightenment had its own brand of oppression for women, as well as no shortage of chauvinists and cads.

There was so much she wanted to say to Rivka, aside from simply venting. To laud her courage, to admit she’d done her a favor by outing Simon, to encourage her to continue fighting for herself. But they were out of each other’s lives now. Wasn’t it better to just leave it that way?

“So, that’s it?” Rose asked, looking from her daughter to her niece. “Rivka comes home with me, and you take off? And I am left here with a problem on my hands I never wanted, and am not prepared for?”

Hannah and Rivka looked stricken.

“Aunt Rose…”

Rose shook her head. “You have made many bad decisions, Rivka. And now a fetus is involved, which has the potential to be a real human being. You’ve made the decision to abort it and throw it away. And you know what? I understand you. That’s probably the easiest way out for you at this point, all things considered. But I must tell you truthfully, I can’t stand the idea! I just can’t stand it! And I can’t look on and just let it happen.”

“So, Aunt Rose, when you made your choices, which hurt so many people, that was all right? And now because it’s not you, it’s not all right?” Rivka cried out, deeply offended.

“I never said it was all right! I was young and stupid and selfish. I left my family holding the bag to a canceled wedding and a humiliated groom and his family. All that is true. But I never killed anyone.”

“Because you were lucky … that’s all. And I wasn’t,” Rivka spit out bitterly.

“Luck had nothing to do with it! I got pregnant, but I took responsibility for it, and there is a child and grandchildren in the world who are alive and flourishing because I didn’t take the easy way out.”

“But didn’t you tell me if I asked a rabbi he would even approve of it and allow it if the fetus was injuring my mental health?”

“You told her to go to a rabbi?” Hannah asked, aghast.

“I said that was one possibility, yes! This is a moral problem and you need some moral guidance, Rivka. You should have listened to your parents and gone home with them for a while.”