The Sisters Grimm: Book Eight: The Inside Story (18 page)

Puck stopped an old man who was hobbling down the road, powered only by his cane and stubbornness. The old man told him the theater was at the other end of the town but not before he gave him a good swat with his cane. He apparently objected to Puck calling him “gramps.”

They dashed to the theater box office, but with no money they were forced to barter. Eventually, after much begging, Sabrina convinced King Arthur to part with his crown, insisting that when they got to the real world he would no longer be royalty anyway. The crown got them all front-row seats as well as a few nickels to spend at the local grocer. Unfortunately, there wasn’t enough money in the world to shut the king up about the indignity suffered. He claimed he felt naked without it and kept worrying about having “crown head.”

Eventually the doors to the theater opened and the crowd entered the venue. Everyone found their seats and waited for the show to begin. Meanwhile, Sabrina, Puck, and Daphne searched the crowd for signs of Pinocchio or the Blue Fairy.

“You’re sure the Blue Fairy shows up in this part of the story?” Sabrina asked her sister.

Daphne nodded. “If he’s going to make his move, it will be tonight.”

“I have a few ideas I’d like to run past you about how we plan to stop him,” Puck said. “First, I was thinking I could clobber him with a chair. It happens all the time on television and seems fairly effective.”

“Let’s just try to grab him without smashing furniture over his head,” Sabrina said.

Several horns played a happy tune and the audience applauded. The Ringmaster came out dressed in a long black jacket, white pants, and knee-high black boots. He bowed deeply. In the blazing theater lights he looked bewildered, almost frightened. He reminded Sabrina of Mikey Beiterman, a budding actor in her second-grade class. During her school’s production of
Little Shop of Horrors
, he had forgotten what he was supposed to say. A teacher had attempted to whisper the line to him, but he was so embarrassed he burst into tears and ran backstage, refusing to return for the rest of the play. Unfortunately, Mikey was playing the part of the man-eating plant and was crucial to the next two acts. The Ringmaster had the same lost expression on his face. “Ladies and gentlemen, I’m afraid the act advertised tonight featuring Pinocchio the dancing donkey has been canceled. Instead, I offer you the amazing Russian Stallion Brigade.”

Several white stallions trotted onstage led by two beautiful identical twins. They marched the stallions to one end of the stage, then the other.

The audience murmured until a little boy stood up and cried, “That’s not how the story goes. Bring out Pinocchio!”

The audience cheered their approval.

“I can’t,” the Ringmaster said. “Pinocchio is changing the story. He has not become a donkey. He threatened me.”

“Where is he?” Sabrina said, jumping to her feet.

“There!” the man said, pointing at a seat in the upper deck. Sabrina craned her neck to see a woman with bright blue hair being led out of her seat by a young boy. The boy had a magic wand in his hand that glowed like fire.

The crowd cried out in surprise.

“He’s got the Blue Fairy!” Sabrina shouted to her friends and they all rushed out of the tent and into the street. There they found Pinocchio glowering at the Blue Fairy.

“Stay out of this,” Pinocchio said as the group approached.

“We’re not going to let you do this, puppet boy,” Daphne said.

“I wasn’t a puppet! I was a marionette!”

“Pinocchio! What on earth has gotten into you? I’m like your mother in this story,” the Blue Fairy said.

“My mother? I suffered greatly and you didn’t lift a finger to help. I was turned into a donkey. I spent a week in the belly of a shark! Two murderers tried to hang me from a tree outside your house. A man tried to drown me. What did you do, O mother dear? Nothing. You’re the most powerful Everafter of them all and you did nothing!”

“I understand your anger,” the fairy said, “but it is misdirected. I am a storybook portrait of the Blue Fairy. The real Blue Fairy is somewhere in the real world. Whatever your intentions are with me they will not satisfy your need for revenge. I have no idea why my real-life counterpart chose to behave the way she did. But there must be a reason. Perhaps you should go to her for answers.”

“No! She will feed me the same mumbo jumbo she always has and will continue to deny me. The Book of Everafter is my only hope. Its power is at my disposal, as are you!” Pinocchio said. “I want to be a man.”

Puck stepped forward and Pinocchio turned his wand on him. “You stay back, you filthy street urchin. I have suffered long enough. I will have my wish.”

Puck looked back at the group of people with him. “There’s a lot of us and only one of you.”

“I’ll shoot you with this. I swear,” he said, his hand trembling with nerves. “I went easy on you before, fairy.”

Sabrina and Daphne joined Puck. “He’s right. You could manage to get off one shot, maybe two, but you can’t hit us all.”

“You don’t know the fairy godmother wand that well. You’ve gotten lucky,” Daphne added.

Soon Arthur, the knights, and the Wonderland group were standing right behind the children.

“I warned you!” Pinocchio said, flicking the wand. A bolt of energy burst from it and hit Sir Galahad in the chest. There was a pop, a puff of smoke, and then Galahad turned into a turtle.

“I think I know this wand well enough.” Pinocchio looked smug.

“Get him!” Puck shouted, and the crowd rushed at Pinocchio. There were more explosions from the wand but soon someone snatched it out of the little boy’s hands and he was defenseless. He screamed, cursed, and threatened, but when the dust settled he was on the ground with his hands behind his back. Sabrina had never seen anyone so angry in her life.

“How dare you!” he shouted. “I have a right to live like a normal person. I have a right to grow up!”

Sabrina stood over him as Daphne sat on his back. “I might have thought the same thing, once. But you betrayed us. You were our friend and you sold us out to Mirror. Don’t tell me what you are owed. Whatever the Editor chooses to do with you is exactly what you deserve. Hey, Editor! We’ve got him!”

Just then, a door materialized from thin air and it swung open. Standing in a brilliant light was the Editor.

“Good news, boss. We stopped the puppet,” Daphne said.

“These characters do not belong in this story!” the Editor said coolly.

“They followed us,” Sabrina said. “We’ve been—”

“They will have to go back!”

Suddenly Arthur drew his sword and charged at the Editor. The skinny old man fell backward, and the king raced through the doorway after him. The rest of his ragtag army followed. Puck pulled Pinocchio to his feet and they chased the group through the door to the library, trying to convince everyone to stay calm.

“So, you are the vile monster who torments us!” Arthur shouted at the Editor. Murder was in his eyes.

“Stay away from me!” the Editor demanded.

“Women and children, shield your eyes,” Arthur commanded. “Blood will soon spill from this man’s veins.”

7

he group’s sudden arrival in the library seemed to make the revisers skittish. They scurried up onto the walls and climbed higher and higher. In his efforts to stay away from King Arthur, the Editor knocked his leather chair over. With the help of Puck, who still held Pinocchio with his other hand, Sabrina pulled the king off of the Editor and positioned herself between them.

“Step aside!” Arthur demanded.

“Put your sword away!” Sabrina shouted twice as loud. Arthur studied her closely and after a very tense moment did as she asked.

“What is this place?” the White Rabbit said, hopping around in an agitated manner.

“This is his library. It’s where he devises his plots against us!” Lancelot said.

The Editor scowled. “I do no such thing. My job is to maintain order in this book. I have no interest in plotting against you.”

“Arthur, unloose that sword and run him through,” Sir Port said.

“I said, leave him alone!” Sabrina demanded.

“Don’t pretend to be concerned for me, traitors,” the Editor snapped. “You brought your revolution to my doorstep.”

“What? We are not part of any revolution,” Sabrina said.

The Editor turned his attention to the king. “So, Arthur, not content to be a character in a book anymore?”

“Not content in the least,” Arthur said.

“And the rest of you feel the same way?”

The crowd shouted in agreement.

“I suppose all of you think that you deserve freedom? You probably see yourselves as real people with lives to pursue?”

“Indeed,” the dodo said. “We no longer can live in this book, doing the same things over and over again. We want out into the real world.”

The Editor laughed. What started out as a chuckle turned into an out-of-control guffaw and a stream of tears running down his face.

“What’s so funny?” Sir Lancelot barked.

“You! All of you! You think you’re real. You aren’t any more real than I am—you’re fuzzy memories of events that happened hundreds of years ago. You are not the real King Arthur and you are not the real White Rabbit—you’re nothing more than storybook characters walking around pretending to have feelings. You are recollections and notions put down in words and sentences powered by a little bit of magic. You are a portrait, and often times, a failed portrait, of an actual someone. You’re not even a shadow lying at the foot of the person you represent.”

The crowd booed him.

Pinocchio struggled forward. “I am not with these fools. I am from the real world, and I wish to alter my story. I am shocked and dismayed that you sent the Grimms to prevent it. I must protest and demand you give me my due.”

“Your due? You don’t have any right to change your story. This book was intended to give your kind a stroll through the good old days and nothing more. It’s not for you to meddle with willy-nilly. Do you know what has to be done when you change something? The entire event has to be rewritten, like a story, with a new plot, new themes, new villains! To keep the history running smoothly, every tiny detail must be altered so it fits with the change. If it doesn’t make sense, the consequences could be disastrous. You could unravel time itself.”

The Editor straightened his tweed suit jacket. “There will be no more changes. These memories, stories, whatever you want to call them, just can’t take it. They’re not built for re-imagining. You will have to stay the way you are or find another solution. The Book of Everafter is closed for business.”

“Enough!” Guinevere shouted. “We have no interest in changing who we are. All we want is out! We know you can open a door to the real world.”

“It’s a simple request. Just do it and we will let you live,” her husband added.

“Do you think that I respond to your demands? I am the Editor. I control this book.”

“You are mistaken, sir,” Lancelot said. “We have minds and desires, and we will not take part in your game any longer.”

“Sadly, there is only one thing I can do, then,” the Editor said.

“You will free us?” Arthur said.

“No, Your Majesty. I believe it’s time you were edited,” he said, raising his hands above his head.

Just then, there was a loud scurrying sound as if all the world’s cockroaches were marching toward them. Sabrina looked to the ceiling and saw hundreds of revisers crawling down the bookshelves. Some of them jumped down and landed on the characters, digging their angry teeth into arms and legs. The knights were more prepared to fight than the maidens and talking animals, but most of the members of the so-called Character Liberation Army were unarmed and had no experience in battle. It wasn’t long before they were erased from existence by the pink creatures.

Pinocchio turned to Sabrina. “Get me out of here!” he demanded.

Sabrina scanned the room and saw a door materializing. She threw it open and felt a damp, chilly breeze brush against her face.

“Where does it go?” the boy asked.

“Does it matter?” Puck said as he raised his foot and kicked the little boy in the behind. Pinocchio flew face-first through the void and vanished.