The Sisters Grimm: Book Eight: The Inside Story (12 page)

“Get to your places!” the Queen shouted as she charged through the crowd, knocking over soldiers and trumpeters as she went. “We’re supposed to be playing croquet. We have to get this story back on track.”

Everyone dashed off in a different direction only to return with a flock of gangly pink flamingoes and several squirmy hedgehogs. The Queen took one of the lanky birds and held it as if it were a croquet mallet. Then she placed the hedgehog on the ground and lined up the bird’s beak with the hedgehog’s behind. Then she swung wildly and missed her shot completely. Not that she could have hit the hedgehog. It wisely scurried off before the bird came down. The Queen chased after it, and with much aggravation and a dozen wild swings she managed only to knock the daylights out of seven attendants, one after another as they rushed in to help. Soon the playing field had a small but growing mountain of unconscious obstacles.

When she had spun herself in a half-dozen circles, she called for her attendants. “Where are the interlopers?!” the Queen railed.

The Nine of Diamonds pushed the children across the lawn until they stood before the dumpy and overheated Queen. “Your Majesty,” the Nine of Diamonds said, “I have captured the three trespassers. They are responsible for the alterations to our important tale. I hope you are most pleased.”

The Queen looked at the children and then turned to the Nine of Diamonds and flashed him a disgusted expression. “Well, they can’t very well play the game without mallets and balls.”

“Of course,” the Nine of Diamonds stammered, leaping into action. A moment later he returned with more flamingoes and hedgehogs. He shoved them into the children’s hands. Sabrina’s bird flapped furiously to free itself, showering her in pink feathers. Daphne’s hedgehog hissed and bit at her before she set it on the ground where it promptly scurried away. Puck allowed his hedgehog to crawl up into his shirt.

“So you are from the real world?” the Queen said, swinging her flamingo at the furry ball. She missed again, but this time the force of the swing knocked her off her feet. Several of the soldiers helped her up and brushed her off with a great deal of energy until she slapped each of them in the head.

“Children, I am talking to you,” she said.

Sabrina nodded. “Yes, we are not from this book.”

“Interesting . . . ,” the King of Hearts said.

The Queen flashed him an angry expression. “What would
you
know?”

He muttered an apology before lowering his eyes.

“It’s your turn!” the Queen said to Puck.

Puck laughed. His flamingo had started a fight with Sabrina’s bird and the two were producing a symphony of squawking and screeching. “I think I’m going to have to pass.”

“Why have you come here?” the Queen asked.

Sabrina could barely look at her. Her fictional version was even more troubling and grotesque than the real Queen. Her head was gigantic and her arms and legs plump and short. It reminded Sabrina that this was not the real Mayor Heart. “We’re searching for someone. A boy called Pinocchio. He’s traveling with several wooden marionettes that can walk and talk.”

“And pinch,” Daphne said, showing the purple bruise on the back of her arm.

“Yes, he has been trespassing in our story as well. Bring the prisoner to me,” the Queen said.

“You have him?”

“Yes, my guards arrested him earlier today,” the Queen said. “He was creating a great deal of mischief.”

“Since when is that a crime?” Puck asked.

As he ranted about his rights and freedoms to cause chaos and mayhem, Sabrina tried to process what the Queen had just told her. Did she really have Pinocchio in her custody? Could one of her family’s bitterest enemies really be that helpful?

“The scamp has disturbed the flow of our story,” the Queen said. “His presence has sent a ripple through everything—changing dialogue, themes, and even characters. At this very moment I am supposed to be having an argument about beheading the Cheshire Cat, but as you can see, the cat is nowhere to be seen.”

“I’m sure he’s just running a bit late, Your Majesty,” the White Rabbit said as he eyed a golden pocket watch fastened to a chain around his waist.

“Here comes the troublemaker,” the King said, gesturing across the lawn.

Sabrina recognized the angry little boy at once. Pinocchio had a pointy nose, buckteeth, and little ears. He was wearing overalls and a red cap, and his hands were tied behind his back. Still, he struggled to get free from the guards, one of whom carried a birdcage in his hand. As they drew closer, Sabrina could see Pinocchio’s marionettes were locked inside.

“You!” Pinocchio snarled as he glared at the children. “Why won’t you let me be?”

“You betrayed us!” Sabrina said. “You think you can help Mirror kidnap a member of our family and we will just let it go? I thought you were some great intellect.”

Daphne threw a punch into her open palm. “Let me at him.”

“I didn’t want to help the Master, but he was the only one who could provide me with this opportunity. When I asked the Blue Fairy to make me into a real boy, I never imagined her magic would cruelly keep me this age forever. I was desperate for something everyone else takes for granted. I just want to become an adult and take advantage of my life.”

“I’ve been this age for almost four thousand years,” Puck said. “I kind of dig it.”

“I suppose you’re taking me back to the real world?” Pinocchio said.

Sabrina shook her head. “Not at all. We’re turning you over to the Editor. What he plans to do with you, I don’t know and I don’t care.”

Just then, four guards with axes on their shoulders approached. All wore black hoods that covered their faces, but their playing card bodies revealed them to be Aces from all four suits: diamonds, hearts, spades, and clubs. Behind them were more card soldiers, many of whom were carrying tree stumps on their shoulders.

“What’s all this?” Daphne said, as the soldiers set up their tree stumps.

“Clearly we are going to execute this boy for crimes against our story,” the Queen barked. “Off with his head!”

One of the hooded soldiers forced Pinocchio’s head onto the stump while another sharpened his ax on a black stone.

“Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!” Sabrina cried. “You can’t kill him!”

“We can’t?” the King of Hearts said. “We have everything we need at our disposal to kill this criminal. Show her one of the axes.”

The hooded guard flashed the deadly blade in Sabrina’s eyes. “See, it’s very sharp!” he said proudly.

“I’m not arguing that you
can
kill him,” Sabrina exclaimed. “I’m saying that you shouldn’t. The Editor wants him out of this story. He’s caused enough problems and the more you change, the more has to be fixed.”

The Queen let out a frustrated
harrumph
. “The Editor does what the Editor does. As the Queen of this Wonderland, my obligation is to pass judgment on every accused criminal here. Pinocchio entered our story with his marionettes and quickly went to work destroying it. That is a crime punishable by death.”

“Don’t let them kill me,” Pinocchio pleaded as he fought against the much stronger men.

“The Editor can fix all this,” Daphne said. “But if you kill the puppet, that’s permanent.”

“I’m not a puppet!” Pinocchio said.

“Dear, dear, I think I understand what the girl is saying,” the King said, patting the Queen on the back. “The other children are jealous that they aren’t being executed.”

“Very well,” the Queen said. “Consider it a gift from me to you. Off with their heads!”

“Keep your little butter knives to yourselves,” Puck said. His sword was immediately in hand, but the card soldiers snatched him from behind, knocked his weapon to the ground, and tied his hands behind his back. Before Sabrina could react, the card soldiers had grabbed her and dragged her over to one of the stumps. Daphne was soon tied up as well, though she did manage to bite one of the guards on the hand.

“I’m sure you understand,” the Queen said, “this is the only true deterrent to crime. In the hundreds of beheadings I have ordered, only a handful of the criminals have become repeat offenders.”

“They were incorrigible, dear,” the King said.

“On your command, Your Majesty,” a hooded guard said.

Sabrina could not move. All she could do was look helplessly from the corner of her eye at the sharp ax above her.

The Queen cleared her throat. “Indeed. We can’t very well be bothered by this inconvenience all day. We have a game of croquet to play. Good sirs! Prepare your axes!”

5

s the guard raised his ax, something fell out of the trees above and landed in the crowd with a grunt. Several of the soldiers were flung to the ground. Sabrina craned her neck to get a better look at the chaos and was surprised to find an enormous striped cat fighting the cards. It was nearly as big as she was, and had a bushy tail and a big mouth full of teeth. It swatted men left and right with its oversize paws, and despite its fierce assault, a clever, almost happy smile stretched across its face. His attack was accompanied by a high-pitched whistle, which signaled more bizarre creatures to rush into the melée. Soon a giant puppy and an odd bird with an enormous beak were fighting by the cat’s side.

The card soldiers were befuddled. They jabbed their swords at the odd collection of animals. “Shoo! Shoo, you flea-bitten curses.”

The animals held their ground. The puppy charged at the men and sent them flailing into the woods. The unusual bird slammed its hard beak into the heads of villains. From the Queen’s party, the White Rabbit ran out to join them.

“What is the meaning of this?” the Queen bellowed.

“We’re busting out!” the White Rabbit said, swinging his pocket watch threateningly. The Queen fell back in shock, and the rabbit turned his attention to the hooded guard. “If you know what’s good for you . . .”

The guard set down his ax and ran, allowing the rabbit to untie Sabrina.

“Allow me to propose a deal,” the creature said as it hopped over to untie Daphne. “In exchange for saving your lives, you will allow us to accompany you out of this book.”

“What?”

“A simple business transaction, child. When you come upon the next door, you will allow my companions and me to join you with the intended goal of leaving the Book of Everafter. Do we have a deal?”

Sabrina was too distracted by the fighting to think clearly, but the little furry animal persisted.

“What say you?” the rabbit cried as it cut the bindings on Puck’s hands.

The rabbit was so busy talking, he didn’t notice a soldier rushing at him with a sword aimed at his chest. The giant cat leaped in the soldier’s way, forcing him to stop in his tracks. He swung his weapon hard and fast at the feline’s neck but just before it landed its deadly blow, the cat’s body disappeared, leaving only his big, toothy grin behind.

“He’s the Cheshire Cat,” Daphne said, biting her palm.

The Cheshire Cat reappeared and grabbed the soldier’s legs with its mouth. He dragged the distressed man up a tree to the highest branches and drove a sharp one right through its card body. It didn’t seem to hurt the soldier, but it did leave him helpless, kicking and struggling to free himself. A moment later, the cat fell from the tree, only to land on all fours. He shook out his coat and smiled.

Meanwhile, the puppy took several of the villains in its mouth and wrenched them around violently before dropping them on the ground, dizzy and battered. The bird, whom Sabrina would later learn was a long-extinct dodo, knocked many of the men out with a swift clunk of its rock-hard head.

The White Rabbit mostly just barked commands and warned the others of approaching attacks. It wasn’t long before the big animals had wiped out a majority of the Queen’s army. Those who were still able fled into the woods, along with the Queen and the King and their flock of courtiers.

“Quick work,” the dodo squawked.

“And not a scratch on us,” the puppy said, before his attention turned to catching his own tail.

“Just as I predicted,” the White Rabbit bragged. He stepped over some of the unconscious soldiers, bouncing on one’s head before he reached the children. He bowed in respect. “Allow me to introduce myself.”